Four years off--- I'm one of the normals now!!!

Hello all. Yesterday was my four year anniversary of being off Xanax. I'm doing really well. Not 100%, but 99%, lol. I still have lingering tinnitus but it has really diminished and it never bothers me. I know it's there so I haven't written a success story. But I feel great, in some ways better than ever. EVERY HORRIBLE SYMPTOM IS GONE!!! I'm working and leading a normal life. I sleep great, occasional alcohol doesn't bother me, and anxiety is a thing of the past. I really hope you all get where I'm at soon. I'll check in for a few days and answer any questions anyone may have.

Congrats on being past this horrible ordeal!

That's really great to hear, confused1!!!  :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

 

Thanks very much for writing!!! Especially good to read "anxiety is a thing of the past." Music to my ears!!!

Confused!   Yay!  Was thinking of you and hoping you were doing well.  So nice to hear! 

Wishing you nothing but the best!

I remember you, Confused1.  Glad you're doing well.  I believe you got yourself in some hot water here with some of the fellow bb's in the past with some of your posts.  lol.  You're the one with all the kids aren't you?

Thank you for posting this!

 

How long did it take you to recover? Were you ever bed ridden?

Congrats on being past this horrible ordeal!

Thanks. You'll get there!

That's really great to hear, confused1!!!  :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

 

Thanks very much for writing!!! Especially good to read "anxiety is a thing of the past." Music to my ears!!!

You're welcome. And yes, every thing that I thought was going to kill me or would never leave or worried me non stop is gone without a trace except tinnitus, which I want to emphasize, is not bad and is slowly improving.

Confused!   Yay!  Was thinking of you and hoping you were doing well.  So nice to hear! 

Wishing you nothing but the best!

Hello abcd! I miss your sharp wit and no nonsense attitude. How are you these days?

I remember you, Confused1.  Glad you're doing well.  I believe you got yourself in some hot water here with some of the fellow bb's in the past with some of your posts.  lol.  You're the one with all the kids aren't you?

Lol, yes guilty on both counts, Becks. That will happen when you speak your mind.  I have 11 kids, and we just welcomed a grandson, Blaise, to the family. He's number 13! I'm glad to hear you're hanging in there, Becks. You were always kind and supportive to me.

Thank you for posting this!

 

How long did it take you to recover? Were you ever bed ridden?

Yes, I was bedridden for nearly 2 years. Many times I thought I was dying. This site and the people here were a Godsend to me. Someone always picked me up when I was down. I'll be forever grateful.

I felt pretty decent by year 3 and began putting my life back together. Things were mostly manageable by year two. But don't let my timeline scare you. Everyone is different. Speedy healing!

 

One last thing. A couple people sent me a message saying my tinnitus hanging on scared them. Yes, I still have it, but I want to say it again- It's improving and I rarely notice it. Just to give you an idea of how bad it was, it drove me crazy. It was the first thing to greet me in the morning and the last thing I heard at night. It was a constant piercing, ringing, buzzing that made it hard to hear or think about anything else. Now I only notice it at night when it's quiet. It doesn't keep me from sleeping and during the day I don't even know it's there. And besides, we all heal differently. I'm confident it will heal and I'll write that success story!

You're welcome. And yes, every thing that I thought was going to kill me or would never leave or worried me non stop is gone without a trace except tinnitus, which I want to emphasize, is not bad and is slowly improving.

 

Oh, this is SO GOOD to hear, confused1!!! I've thought about dying every day, and to know that those feelings go away is wonderful!!!

 

THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH for coming back, and many blessings to you and your family!!! 

Actually, your timeline gives me hope. I am mostly bedridden at over 13 months and seem to be one of the more severe cases on BB. If you were bedridden for 2 years and the recovered, that means healing is possible for me!

confused1, when you were on the forum a long time ago, your speaking your mind never bothered me one bit.  Glad you're doing so well; wish I could say the same, but I'm not.  Wish you would post more.  I always liked reading your posts.  Are those 11 children all your natural kids or did you adopt some of them or have a blended family?

You're welcome. And yes, every thing that I thought was going to kill me or would never leave or worried me non stop is gone without a trace except tinnitus, which I want to emphasize, is not bad and is slowly improving.

 

Oh, this is SO GOOD to hear, confused1!!! I've thought about dying every day, and to know that those feelings go away is wonderful!!!

 

THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH for coming back, and many blessings to you and your family!!! 

I'm glad my story helps you! I had a constant sense of dread like I would just drop dead at any moment. I haven't had that in over a year and look forward to each day. I'm setting goals and making plans again! That was one of those things that just one day I realized wasn't there anymore. Some things, like sleep and tinnitus improved slowly but that was gone suddenly. It may be right around the corner for you too.

Actually, your timeline gives me hope. I am mostly bedridden at over 13 months and seem to be one of the more severe cases on BB. If you were bedridden for 2 years and the recovered, that means healing is possible for me!

Not to scare you, but the second year was the toughest for me. But I actually started improving around 18-19 months instead of getting worse. We're all different in our healing but I hope yours is soon, like tomorrow! 

confused1, when you were on the forum a long time ago, your speaking your mind never bothered me one bit.  Glad you're doing so well; wish I could say the same, but I'm not.  Wish you would post more.  I always liked reading your posts.  Are those 11 children all your natural kids or did you adopt some of them or have a blended family?

Sorry Becks, I just don't have much time for posting right now but I should check in more and say hey. I think of you from time to time because I know you've had it rough and you need relief. Yes, those kids are all mine. I married my high school sweetheart when she was 18, 33 years ago. I took her on our first date for her 16th birthday and her dad chased me down the driveway! He didn't like me but we're ok now, lol. My wife had two miscarriages or we would have had 13. My wife has been my angel and our love has grown stronger than ever. I wouldn't have made it without her. We never considered adopting because our hands were full! But we would have if we couldn't have had kids. We have 9 boys and two girls. My youngest daughter just turned 16 and I'm ready to chase any potential suitors down the driveway!!! My youngest boy is named Peter and he just turned 6. Our house is always bustling with activity. It's funny, I have all those boys but only two grandsons, the rest are girls. Blaise, my second grandson who is two months old, was born with hemophilia. It was hard news for my daughter but she's adjusting nicely. It was a random mutation because no one in our family has it. They tested us all to see if we were carriers. Her oldest daughter has aniridia, which is a condition where the Iris doesn't develop properly and she may go blind in young adulthood. So my poor daughter has really had it bad. I have learned never to complain about my situation. Well I hope I'm not boring you Becks, but I thought you might like to read about my family. Take care and I'll check back.

Congratulations, confused1! You have done very well. So glad to hear from you again.

I do like reading about your family, confused1.  I always thought you were a great guy and your wife is lucky.

confused1, I'm SO happy for you!!! Huge congratulations.

 

You were so kind and supportive of me, and I've never forgotten it... I am looking forward to your success story with great joy.

 

Wishing you and your family a festive season of wellness and peace.

 

Love and warmth,

Lara

 

PS  I don't reckon you'll ever really be one of the 'normals', my friend!   But hey, that's a good thing... 

Hello confused1, I loved reading your healing story and so nice to learn about your big family!!!

Thank you for posting...

Congratulations, confused1! You have done very well. So glad to hear from you again.

Thank you, LPFree. I'm glad to hear you are continuing to taper. Pm sometime.

I do like reading about your family, confused1.  I always thought you were a great guy and your wife is lucky.

Well, I have a million stories, Becks. Maybe I'll pm you some where I don't have to bore everyone else, lol. Thank you for the kind compliments, but I think I got the better end of the marriage deal!

confused1, I'm SO happy for you!!! Huge congratulations.

 

You were so kind and supportive of me, and I've never forgotten it... I am looking forward to your success story with great joy.

 

Wishing you and your family a festive season of wellness and peace.

 

Love and warmth,

Lara

 

PS  I don't reckon you'll ever really be one of the 'normals', my friend!   But hey, that's a good thing... 

I have not forgotten you either. Are you still working towards becoming a Naturopath? I briefly considered it since I spent 3 years reading PubMed, lol. I bought a Merc manual and really dug in. But the laws are so restrictive in my state that I don't really think I could help anyone. You can't even recommend vitamin c for scurvy! I'd love to hear how you are, and I'm especially happy to see you are 100% pharma free, as am I. Normal? Yeah, I guess that was wishful thinking!

Hello confused1, I loved reading your healing story and so nice to learn about your big family!!!

Thank you for posting...

You are quite welcome, Rodolfo. My family is my life. There are some sad things too I have shared and they haven't gotten better. Two of my older sons disowned me because they thought I just felt sorry for myself and was comfortable laying in bed doing nothing. They thought I just needed to "man up" and made no effort whatsoever to understand this horrible process. I put my business of 25 years into the hands of one of them and he has basically stolen it from me and continues to treat me like dirt. I learned many "friends" really weren't and had no time for helping me or my family. I sold my antique cars and many of my possessions to stay afloat. So I know the pain these drugs can cause. But also my relationships with true friends and family increased ten fold. I've come out of this stronger than I went in. I'm starting a new business from scratch, which is challenging but invigorating. I wake up each day eager to move forward and I really cherish every moment, refusing to take anything for granted. I've become healthier in mind, body, and soul. So, as crazy as it sounds, I'm thankful for all I've been through. Couldn't you have made it a little easier though, God?