CT off 20mg Diazepam.

Hi,

Well, I made it to 20mg a day after 7 years and thought that was pretty good. Unfortunately I'm about to run out of pills so its 10mg today and 10 tomorrow and Saturday then thats it. None left, and can't get hold of anymore.

Can anyone advise me what to expect and any advise on what to stock up on?

Ive plenty of Propanolol to make sure my heart and BP are OK.

5-HTP and L-Theanine which is supposed to help produce more GABA.

 

Thanks,

P

 

Don’t do it. I ended up in the ER after my CT off 15mg. I couldn’t even form sentences it was horrible!  It was pure hell and I suffered for months after that. Find somewhere to get some and taper off. I can’t tell you how bad i suffered, and that’s a lot to ct off from!!! As far as to what to stock up on I guess nutrition drinks. I couldn’t eat food or make my own food. I saw double of everything and my perception was so off. I really hope you can find more though because if you can prevent it I strongly advise against it.

Hi,

Thanks for your advise, I'm trying to get hold of some but they aren't as widely available as they used to be.

How long before the bad effects kicked in for you? It was about 2 weeks last time this happened and it was pretty scary.

 

Thanks

P

Please be v careful, I accidentally CTd off 2.5mg V,  and all hell broke loose, ended up with a stroke, you may need more than propranolol to keep you safe, you need to seek medical help imo.

I walked in your shoes, back in 2012. I went CT off huge doses of Klonapin. Acute WD set in about 24 hours later and got much worse over the next 2 weeks.

 

However, for some reason, some people just do NOT have awful withdrawals. Gave you ever gone off a benzo before? How did that go? If you have not ever gone off a benzo, you just cannot know how this will affect you. The common wisdom is that CTs are NEVER okay. I happen to disagree just a bit. For a FEW people,. going CT can be their only hope of living a normal life again. Was true for me. And I know that for sure.

If you simply CANNOT find more Valium then I guess you have no choice. I know this is a terrible situation to be in! I wish I could hug you!!! But you have to do what you think is right for YOU. Not what anyone else tells you.

Benzo WD can be terribly frightening. And last a lot longer than you thought. Each person reacts differently to benzo WD. There is no way to predict how you will fare.

But one thing I know for sure: getting off benzos entirely may be the absolute best thing you ever did for yourself.

east

Let me know what happens. PM me if it might help.

Thank you again for all the comments especially Eastcoast. I'm pretty good in general at quitting things, have never known the experience of being hooked on Nicotine for example. That was years ago though. This time I'm expecting a knock from being on these meds for so long but when/if it does hit, at least I can understand the chemistry behind it. I think that might help a bit? At least the knowing that I'm not actually going crazy and the chemicals are doing this. I think if nothing turns up in the next week or so, I'll just play it a day at a time. If things become intolerable, my GP knows my history of self medicating and is a good guy. Even if he just prescribes me some 2mg, it  will get me on a reduction rather than just a stop.

I'm fairly clued up about strokes having a Father who had a heavy one years ago. The Beta blockers and aspirin can reduce the chances of this and I'll be monitoring my blood pressure if things get bad. I'm really looking forward to getting off these but also realistic enough to consider it may take some time to start feeling better again. I'm not giving up the large Scotch at night just yet though as one thing at a time. My brain needs to start producing its own GABA.

My tolerance for Diazepam is pretty crazy as last time I measured it I felt no effect taking up to 80mg in one go. I know that before I started on these horrid meds, just 5mg would make me a bit sleepy.

I'll keep this thread informed of progress if it can help anyone else in a similar situation.

 

All the best,

 

p

I was in the walk in by day 3 and by day 4 I went to the ER, and the ER told me I could have a seizure. I CT off Ativan and Valium so it was equivalent to 20 mg of Valium. WD kicked in in about 12 hrs since the Ativan was short acting. I had the worst body aches of my life and suicidal Instantly from the drop in chemicals. It was horrible!!! By day 5 I reinstated 15mg of Valium and tapered for 7 months. Which in my opinion was a fast taper!!

Hi,

Managed to get some from Ebay. Took some finding but delivered today and they are the real thing.

Upped my dose to 30mg and immediately felt better. Will now taper much slower and see what happens.

My conclusion is that Im so tolerant to this medication that I have developed Tolerance Withdrawal.

Benzos are very clever at controlling your brain's activity and mood so I now need to find a suitable timescale to come down from  these that doesn't take me to a dysfunctional state.

Will keep posting with results..

 

P

 

You got valium off Ebay? WTF! Ur bullshitting. U cant get valium off ebay. R u a troll?

Oh man, buying benzos on the internet is TRULY risky business. This is a HUGE NO NO. You do not know what you are getting, and you are putting yourself even more at risk.

You have to learn...once and for all, that drugs like this will only hurt you. Brain drugs affect the entire body and mind.

You have to stop thinking that some drug will help you! Most of them will not. Unless they are for hypertrension or cardiac disease, do not take drugs.

Doing this stuff - buying drugs on the Inbternet is very very risky. IMO you need top get off drugs entirely and stop thinking that spome drug will help you. Read my Success Story. I told the truth, how benzod and ADS affected mne over the years. Benzos almost killed me. NO lie. Read it and get back to me.

east

 

I think it's a bit unreasonable to blame or criticise midlifecrisis for having to resort to Internet to procure Valium.  She is on a big dose, what was she supposed to do?  Have a seizure? 

 

If you're are going to apportion blame, aportion to doctors and pharmaceutical companies who force people into making decisions which they would prefer not to make.  They'd prefer a reasonable doctor to help them taper safely. 

 

Love is all that matters? 

 

Dee

 

Edit:  oops, midlifecrisis I thought you were a woman, but you are a man.  Sorry.  Wishing you the very best.  We'll make it! 

 

I think it's a bit unreasonable to blame or criticise midlifecrisis for having to resort to Internet to procure Valium.  She is on a big dose, what was she supposed to do?  Have a seizure? 

 

If you're are going to apportion blame, aportion to doctors and pharmaceutical companies who force people into making decisions which they would prefer not to make.  They'd prefer a reasonable doctor to help them taper safely. 

 

Love is all that matters? 

 

Dee

 

Edit:  oops, midlifecrisis I thought you were a woman, but you are a man.  Sorry.  Wishing you the very best.  We'll make it!

i really appreciate the love and support! Thank you and I hear what you are saying Eastcoast, I do make sure I get proper branded Diazepam ala Almus,Teva etc.

Yes you can get them off Ebay if you know where to look and take time in checking people out and yes they are the real thing. I met my usual supplier there and always has top notch high grade Pharms. Supplier won't accept fakes or cement mixer stuff like the inconsistent ones coming out of India.

I'd rather taper fast than go CT. Last time I went CT after 2 weeks after the drug left my brain and I was in a bad way. Diazepam has a long half-life and I hit the wall at 2 weeks.

Just having a few of these that I've just got has made me feel lots better and that's the trap. I feel better but it's not me.

The reality when I last went CT was I couldn't function and thats not possible in my job. That's just the way it is.

I've now got stock but want to have that sitting there doing as little as possible, especially coming up the Xmas.

I'm still going to to cut as fast as possible and now have the will power and desire to do it but also knowing I've got some in stock is a reasuurance if nothing else. I now allows me to taper and adjust if I cut too fast.

And for anyone thinking I'm going back on the slippery slope..No Way! I hate these things and want ME back again. I want to enjoy the things I used to do and be happy more often. Valium has taken over my life and stupidly I let it. Now I have to pay the price and go through some bad times coming off the stuff. I'll try to minimise it and try tapering as close as possible to the Ashton Manual but I'm realistic enough it's going to take time. I've set a time scale for June 21st when I get married!

 

P

Why won’t your dr prescribe them anymore? I wouldn’t personally by from the Internet but that’s me. So many horrific things can be added to drugs including opiates/heroin etc. that’s just my 2 cents. Anyways I think a taper would absolutely be the safest smartest decision! Try finding a new dr and explain your situation and ask if you can do a taper with them. I was dependent on drugs and my dr allowed me a 7month taper, and I was in a chemical depnednacy program.

You have heard of "tough love"? Well, I am going to give it to you.

 

Buying drugs on the Internet is just as stupid as going to the local Pill Mill and getting a scrip from some hack doctor who may not even BE a doctor. Doing this tells me that you are very much addicted, both mentally and physically. I was like you, once. I too, tried top buy benzos online. I got burned a few times and gave up.

This sort of behavior clearly says that the person is SO addicted they have to resort to this stuff to stay safe. You clearly say that you now have a "stock" of Valium. That is precisely the sort of thinking that will KEEP you addicted.

 

I think it is time you get REAL about this and finally DO something to FIX yourself. Addictions are painful to deal with and BWD may be awful but the pay off is enormous. Wouldn't you like better health? NOT spending so much money on drugs?? To feel FREE of the hold any addictive drug will do? To just be YOU, without any brain affecting drugs? If your answer is no, forget about it. If your answer is you want to try, you have to make your plan to get OFF benzos ASAP, using ANY method you wish. I know tapers are always safer. But, in my experience (which is a lot) a FEW people WILL do better going CT.

 

Now, quit horsing around and start your plan. PM me if it would help.

east

OK,

I don't enjoy life taking meds and remember vividly how much better my life was without them. I hate them because they are very powerful and take over one's personality.

I'm thinking that my tolerance level to Benzos is extremely high as Diazepam does not have the effect that I originally took it for.

I don't know for certain where I stand on withdrawal as last time I went CT I had two weeks of feeling ok, then had some Pseudoephedrine (Sudafed) to clear my sinus and head. This made me really feel really bad and I nearly raided the whole of the local Health shop of it's natural anti anxiety supplements. I really thought I'd hit the point, taking on board it's half life, where Diazepam was completely out of my system and my brain was trying to produce it's own GABA...with concequenses.

I only thought about the Sudafed afterwards and wondered what would have happened if I hadn't taken it?

So, I don't honestly know what I'm going to experience on a CT.

Re. fake meds, I've seen all the stuff banded about on the internet and all the fake stuff. I was lucky enough to have had a constant supply of genuine Pharmaceuticals from a trusted source. (Please don't go there)

I've wondered about taking Xanax in small doses (as 1mg Xanax equates to 10mg Diaz) but it has a much shorter half life and it will allow me to go into CT faster, than see what happens.

Most people that I have read about that have an addition for Benzos start to feel rough 24 hours after last dose and that just doesn't happen to me. As I said it took 2 weeks but then was it the Diaz or was it the Sudo? As a point of interest I did eventually take some meds afterwards but I felt no benefit. I didnt try taking a handful either.

I think Ive come to conclusion that I'm going to do a fairly rapid taper and see what happens.

If I feel bad but generally functional, great. If I develop into a gibbering wreck, Ive got some in the cupboard and I can do a slower taper.

 

p

Sounds like You have a plan... -All the best... 

 

You can only see how it goes, and adjust from there if need be...

 

Good luck...

 

Midlife- 1mg of Xanax is about 20mg of Valium not 10. According to the Ashton manual.

Mid, read my last post to you. You just are not getting it yet! There IS no drug that will fix you or cure you. Drugs,. if they are for something worthwhile, like gheart disease, should be taken. Religiously. BUT brain affecting drugs such as benzos, narcotics and ADs are very dangerous and all of them cause a withdrawal and al;l of them, over time, will mess you up badly.

 

As long as you keep deluding yourself, thinking yet another pill will fix things, the worse off you will be. You don't have a CHANCE to truly heal as long as you think this way.

east

Are you all right??? I am worried about you.

Hi all,

4th Day CT and no side effects yet. I'm going to see if it was the Pseudoephedrine that caused the unpleasant experience after 2 weeks of CT last time.

 

Just as point of interest, just about every post here and other sites that I've read, it seems quite common to start feeling pretty rough 24-48 hours after last dose.

I feel fine at the moment and Ive reached the end of week. Has this happened with anyone else? I know everyones metabolism is different and everyones wired differently but most experiences I've read about have been 'panic after 24 hours'. Maybe the majority of people posting have difficulty at that point and reach out at that point when you might not hear back from individuals who get through CT ok?

 

Just a thought...

 

p

Bottled out on CT over Xmas so since been on 2 x 10mg every 3 days and see what happens. Valium's long half life is a good thing here as I don't feel any different if I miss taking any for at least a week.

 

Anyone find Zops help on taper when you get the 3.00am wake up calls?

p

I am glad you are okay. I was worried.

Pseudoephedrine is NOT a safe OTC drug. I am sure you know it is used to manufacture meth... That drug causes high blood pressure, increased heart rates and some other stuff you just do not want.

 

 

Let us know how you are doing. People here ARE concerned about each other, This is a very caring community.

east