Made a huge mistake getting into cheap Diazepam pills, looking for advice.

Hi Everyone,

 

This might be a long read but I feel confused about my situation so I'm explaining everything:

 

In the last year my insomnia has been really harsh as a long-term effect of cocaine and I resorted to buying cheap valium advertised as "10mg Diazepam". I mindlessly abused thesed pills without questioning them for 7 weeks until the vendor went offline. My habit got out of hand very quickly and led me to an average of 10 pills a day.

 

Prior to this I had no history of benzo usage.

 

Looking at the reviews of this vendor I found a few customers sent samples for testing and it came back as either Etizolam or Etizolam + Diazepam. There are also some scary reviews claiming 2 people have died from the drugs sold by this vendor. The vendor has been offline all week.

 

Yes this was very stupid of me to buy this stuff , my habit got out of hand and I was eating these pills like candy, doses varied from 5 - 20 per day and I was either asleep or out of my mind. Currently signed off sick from work for a while.

 

I logged my daily use in pills, not mgs as I don't know for sure what the strength is. The amount of pills I've used was lower than the amount I bought (counted and logged that too), so I've based my average daily use on the amount I've bought divided by the days I was using. The result was 10 pills a day, as I've already mentioned my doses were random and at times abusive.

 

After this experience I don't want to touch Etizolam or cheap pills anymore.

 

I'm unsure if I can cold-turkey so I decided to do my research, try a few samples from different vendors and buy what looks like legit Diazepam (blister packs, more expensive, vendor seems legit). I didn't fancy continuing using Etizolam after learning about and experiencing the effects (very short lasting and I found it incredibly addictive).

When I tried the Diazepam samples there was a clear difference; the effect is stronger, longer lasting and I am feeling effects on smaller amounts. I also feel less of a compulsion to take more.

 

I felt like I had to switch to the more-legit Diazepam (out of fear) when I ran out of the fake pills. This wasn't a straight cut from one to the other, but this was done in the space of 2 days.

 

So my last few days has looked like this:

 

25/11/18: 10 Etizolam pills

26/11/18: 7 Etizolam pills

27/11/18: 15 Etizolam pills (why?!), 10mg Diazepam

28/11/18: 11 Etizolam pills, 20mg Diazepam

29/11/18: 50mg Diazepam (think I overshot it)

30/11/18: 35mg Diazepam (still overshot it?)

01/12/18: 10 - 30mg Diazepam (5mg in the morning, will see how much it takes to make me sleep)

 

I really believe those fake pills were low doses as the new Diazepam feels a lot stronger and I may have been using out of fear of withdrawal. As I'm off sick anyway I want to face with the withdrawal, a seizure sounds unlikely but I'm still nervous about it.

 

I have been using for 7-8 weeks now so I'm unsure if this is considered short-term use or long-term, I feel like I'm in a grey area and I couldn't find Etizolam in the Ashton manual.

 

I have disclosed all of this to my doctor as well when I saw her a few days ago, she was concerned with me switching without consulting her but I mentioned the customer deaths and the fear I now have of Etizolam / cheap valium. She has recommended 20mg of Diazepam a day if anything.

 

With all this considered, and now that I posses what looks and feels like legit Diazepam, is an aggressive taper a good idea? Not gonna lie this stuff feels much stronger, I have taken 10mg so far today; 5mg in the morning and 5 now and I'm feeling quite tired. I could attempt to sleep without it at all but it's the fear of seizures that always gets me.

 

Would love to hear your feedback on this situation. I've ran a few searches in the forum but there weren't many results for Etizolam and I feel uncertain on how to proceed.

 

Any responses would be greatly appreciated, just feeling lost at the moment.

Hi,

 

I've made two posts about my problems on Benzobuddies about my problem, the drug I was using (Etizolam) is not on the Ashton manual so I feel a bit lost and I'm having to get through my problems via guesswork so far.

 

Judging from the lack of responses does anyone here even care?

...

Judging from the lack of responses does anyone here even care?

 

Hey Hunter,

The lack of responses might be reflective of folks either not seeing your post or not being able to relate to it, (so they leave it to others who can), to leave a meaningful response.

 

I don't know if 8 weeks is considered long term or short term, (but my gut would think short term...) - and since I never used either valium or etizolam, I not even in a position to guess how that relates to the best withdrawal process.

 

What does your doctor say?  Is she willing to support a taper?

I think you were correct (and brave) to take it to her - and you've got the head's up about that vendor - (I'm glad that you were not one of his victims.)  I'm also glad you are here - there's no judgement about your past use, (we all come from different places but we all share a desire to become benzo-free.)

 

Anyway, I hope you find your answers.  I can't really help you but wanted you to know that you're not alone.

Welcome...

Yes, as mentioned, replies can be slow.. -Esp when people are unsure, etc...

 

When I read through, My thoughts were that lack of sleep might be the least of your problems if you dont get on top of this with a steady dose to taper from...

 

Fwiw, At this point Were it me, I would be looking at pushing through and getting off with a firm taper... I guess any symptoms will dictate what you can handle... You might have to adjust your taper speed as things unfold a bit more..

 

There is lots of perhaps more general info here to read... -the orange "sticky posts" above various boards can help...

 

You may find some WD interaction between the opiate history and benzos, but it is what it is...

In my experience they dont play well together... -Removing valium increased my opiate WDs...

 

Best wishes...

-and keep us updated as you progress...

 

 

Thanks for the responses, sorry was getting agitated.

 

I feel like I'm in a grey area considering I'm only two months in and the drug was Etizolam.

 

 

I don't know if 8 weeks is considered long term or short term, (but my gut would think short term...) - and since I never used either valium or etizolam, I not even in a position to guess how that relates to the best withdrawal process.

 

I want to believe I'm still in short term territory, I've felt some withdrawal symptoms but nothing too severe while on ~20mg a day, dedicating my time to getting through it while I'm off sick.

 

What does your doctor say?  Is she willing to support a taper?

 

At the moment I've managed to get my dosage down to 20mg Diazepam under the doctor's advice, she was unhappy that I made the switch but I explained I didn't want to continue with the fake stuff. She wants me to get off benzos as quick as I can and I feel the same.

 

So I've been taking roughly that dose for a few days. Had some withdrawal symptoms but nothing too crazy.

 

I've been considering cold turkey lately or keeping my doses to an absolute minimum, or maybe dosing only if I really do feel bad. I haven't taken any so far today and feel like 10mg could probably get me to sleep.

 

If I am still experiencing a strong effect does this mean I still don't have much, if any tolerance?

 

You may find some WD interaction between the opiate history and benzos, but it is what it is...

In my experience they dont play well together... -Removing valium increased my opiate WDs...

 

Sorry I just want to clarify I have no opiate history, though I had been addicted to cocaine for years before I found cheap valium.

And for what it's worth I'm a cannabis user but I'm smoking less lately.

Hunter,

You, like many others, fell into the trap of thinking PILLS will help you. They may, temporarily, but if taken longer than a couple weeks, benzos can harm you in so many ways.

UI used to think like this, and I have been an RN for 36 years! I began using (and abusing) benzos when a graduated from nursing school. Back then benzos were not accounted for. Tons of them were in all of the med carts at hospitals and many people helped themselves. I sure did, for long term insomnia. I knew they were addictive. But I did NOT know how awful WD can be. Years went by. Eventually , medical facilities realized that staff was abusing benzos and they had to be accounted for. I easily found a psychiatrist who would gladly prescribe Klonapin and Ambien for me. What he did not know, or did not get, is that by then, I was in severe tolerance WD. For 12 years he prescribed benzos for me and my addiction got deeper and deeper.

My health began to go downhill. Benzos can and will do that top you if you take them too long. You can read my Success Story for the gory details. Eastcoast's Trip. Quite a scary read. But it might be the BEST read you ever read. Might scare you into believing what I say is true.

 

Once and for all, you have to get rid of this idea that yet another drug will help you! At this point, the only drugs I believe in are ones for hypertension, diabetes, "normal" medical issues. Brain affecting drugs can HURT you, and hurt you badly. They can KILL you!!!

Please PM me if you think it might help.

east

Thanks for the responses, sorry was getting agitated.

 

I feel like I'm in a grey area considering I'm only two months in and the drug was Etizolam.

 

 

I don't know if 8 weeks is considered long term or short term, (but my gut would think short term...) - and since I never used either valium or etizolam, I not even in a position to guess how that relates to the best withdrawal process.

 

I want to believe I'm still in short term territory, I've felt some withdrawal symptoms but nothing too severe while on ~20mg a day, dedicating my time to getting through it while I'm off sick.

 

What does your doctor say?  Is she willing to support a taper?

 

At the moment I've managed to get my dosage down to 20mg Diazepam under the doctor's advice, she was unhappy that I made the switch but I explained I didn't want to continue with the fake stuff. She wants me to get off benzos as quick as I can and I feel the same.

 

So I've been taking roughly that dose for a few days. Had some withdrawal symptoms but nothing too crazy.

 

I've been considering cold turkey lately or keeping my doses to an absolute minimum, or maybe dosing only if I really do feel bad. I haven't taken any so far today and feel like 10mg could probably get me to sleep.

 

If I am still experiencing a strong effect does this mean I still don't have much, if any tolerance?

 

You may find some WD interaction between the opiate history and benzos, but it is what it is...

In my experience they dont play well together... -Removing valium increased my opiate WDs...

 

Sorry I just want to clarify I have no opiate history, though I had been addicted to cocaine for years before I found cheap valium.

And for what it's worth I'm a cannabis user but I'm smoking less lately.

Sorry, -I must have gotten heroin and cocaine mixed up in my head.. My bad, -not a good mistake to make..!!

 

Short vs long term use can be tricky to determine once one goes beyond general guide lines... Generally speaking I think 2-3months is where dependance starts to become an issue, but there are so many variations to this that its realy something one has to determine for themselves as they go..

 

This can make it pretty hard to plan, -as you are aware... It seems you are narrowing down on the dose you need to be stable enough on to continue tapering.. While it would be good to give things a couple of weeks on a steady dose to see where you are actually at, this would work against your fairly short time on med...

 

I also had problems finding my taper starting point, and pushed down to as low as I possibly could.. I didnt understand much then, and maybe I should have gone back up a bit in dose.. -Or maybe not..??

The trouble is we are all so different in body, situation, and as in my case medicine history...

I have seen people have terrible issues with less than 2 weeks use, and others with high dose and long term use that didnt have too bad of a taper at all...

 

Were it me, I would probably carry on as you are, with the view to getting off fairly Quickly, and If you have significant problems, re-evaluate and go from there..

It is fairly common for a Valium cut to show its effects 3-7 days after the reduction, sometimes more... But dont confuse this with ALL the WD SX from a particular cut... They can linger or even build for a long time, months in a few instances... (usually a few weeks with a cut n hold style taper).. This will probably vary with different benzos and half lives etc..

 

Sleep may be a problem?? But im not sure how much I would let that alone dictate tapering speed... Only you can judge your Sympton/taper parameters...

 

So all this to say, -Best of luck, and see how it goes for YOU...

-Remember the Majority of people CAN come off these meds fairly quick, and without horrific tapers...

But we dont tend to see them on internet support sites...

 

Best wishes...

 

Ps, -Interestingly I was partial to some good Bud most of my life, but I realy cant stand much at all now.. A tiny 1/4 cone to relax my guts sometimes, but my head, and this recent anxiety, does not like it.. It doesnt even help me sleep... Something has changed in WD for me...