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Today is my 1 year benzo free


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This last year has been quite the rollercoaster with withdrawl. This whole nightmare started with me abusing Xanax when I was 18. I was given Xanax for an anxiety disorder. I smoked weed, so I used Xanax to prevent panic attacks. As time went on I starting abusing them. I stopped using them when I got pregnant at 25.

 

I didn’t touch one again until last March of 2017

My dad died and the stress of the loss had me in horrible panic attacks. Dr gave me Valium and I took 15mg a day. I had to fly for the funeral and I was having horrible panic attacks, so the dr gave me Ativan. I was taking both Valium, ativan and Vicodin. I basically was sleeping 90% of the day because she didn’t tell me to stop the Valium and only do the Ativan. It was a huge mess. After a few days I had no anxiety so I quit the Valium and Ativan CT. We all know what happens next, he’ll broke lose. The worst experience of my life words didn’t even make sense, and I was in the worst physical pain of my life. I went to the walk-in she told me to taper over a period of a week. By the next day I was so sick I went to the ER. They told me I could have a seizure and they gave me Valium in a IV. I finally decided to reinstate the following day to 15mg Valium only. My psychiatrist wanted me to taper in 3 weeks.😳 by this time I found benzo buddies because I thought I lost my mind and was dying. I had over 40 withdraw symptoms.

 

I suffered with panic attacks, nightmares, sleep walking, blurry vision, metallic taste in mouth, burning eyes, crawling sensation on head, heavy Limbs (worst symptom), diarrhea, nausea, hot flashes/cold chills, severe fatigue, migraines, mood swings, feel like I needed to run, jaw tightness, heart palpitations, adrenaline surges, intrusive thoughts, stomach hurt, air hunger, so sensitive to noise and light. The list went on, but I can’t remember my other symptoms now.

I never stabilized and I suffered horribly. I finally found a dr who was willing to do a longer taper, and I tapered over 7 months. I jumped last November 26th and have had waves and windows since. Today my lingering symptoms are chills, body aches, nausea, basically benzo flu. My waves are not as intense, so I know I am healing. I have two kids and my husband is gone 9 months a year, so even through my suffering I had to take care of my 6 & 4 yr old by myself. I can tell you one thing and that’s that I do not regret what I have gone through. It has made me so much stronger and now I can help others who are suffering. I want to educate others how to safely come off benzos because we all know how uneducated drs are about coming off of them.

 

Things that helped me was to:

1. Have faith in God

2. Accept that it will take time (I fought this for far too long)

3. Distract

4. Be gentle with myself, after all I was/am so sensitive to things now

5. Be positive about the future and the process

6. No supplements/vitamins (I am not taking any risks)

7. No drugs or alcohol

 

 

Here’s to 1 year off!!☺️☺️

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Congratulations on one year off!! It seems like you have come a long way and you should be proud of yourself for making it through (all while being able to take care of your little ones at the same time!)

 

I think you are so right... acceptance, distraction and thinking positively about the future are all really critical in making it through this fight.

 

Thanks for giving us a little hope for the future

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Congratulations on one year and I love the idea of helping others through this journey. I look forward to doing the same thing in my area. God is definitely my number one through this journey.
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Congratulations! You sound as though you had a really hard time, but you made it.

 

And don't stress too much about people not replying to your posts. It's a busy time of year.

 

Katz

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Thank you all so much for your well wishes. I’m grateful I found Benzobuddies, And that I can talk with others who know what I’m going through! My prayers you all feel better soon!!!
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That is fabulous, what a horrible road you travelled and now where you are !  Thank you so much for your story and the hope it gives us all :D. Please keep us updated on the other side.  Love, Mary

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🙏💜

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