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Can't tell if I really slept or not??


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I am struggling with bad insomnia. Lately only getting 1 maybe 3 broken hours. Last night i know I laid in bed for a couple hours trying to sleep, but  I cannot remember if I slept or not. I didnt dream, but there is a block of time that I dont remember being awake. So i assume i must have slept some. I know from 5:30 to 7:30 am i slept on and off because i dreamt alit. When you dont dream does it mean your in a deeper sleep? Has anyone has this experience with insomnia and not rememberung if you actually slept? Im sooo tired.
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Yes, this is normal.  I can't remember where it is, and I seriously should find this article again, but I read that you can actually be aware of yourself, lying in bed, and think you are not sleeping but actually slightly asleep.  This is usually a short amount of time, however, for us, and our benzo damaged brains, this ends up being longer and during that time, you think, "Oh I am not sleeping" but that may not actually be true. 

 

The fact that you don't remember a block of time is proof that you were sleeping so at least you have gotten some sleep.  This happens to me a lot.  Usually in clumps, like I have a few weeks of bad sleep like this, and then it will go and some other symptom appears in its place. 

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its normal. I lay there most nights staring at the ceiling for hours on end all night long. Some nights tho time will pass quickly during certain parts of  the night instead of dragging like most of the time, so i assume that i have slept in those periods. But i really dont know if i was asleep for 10 minutes or an hour.

 

I can remember what i think might be dreams or they could be memories of me laying awake and thinking about things. So who knows. Strange how your brain works. 

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Yes, this is normal.  I can't remember where it is, and I seriously should find this article again, but I read that you can actually be aware of yourself, lying in bed, and think you are not sleeping but actually slightly asleep.  This is usually a short amount of time, however, for us, and our benzo damaged brains, this ends up being longer and during that time, you think, "Oh I am not sleeping" but that may not actually be true. 

 

The fact that you don't remember a block of time is proof that you were sleeping so at least you have gotten some sleep.  This happens to me a lot.  Usually in clumps, like I have a few weeks of bad sleep like this, and then it will go and some other symptom appears in its place.

 

Greencup - would love to read that article you mentioned.  It describes exactly the state which caused me to take benzos to begin with.  Any idea where I might find that??!!

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I used to have this!!! It’s so bizzare I would fall asleep and wake up every few hours but I didn’t feel like I had slept! It was unnerving I would wake up so confused with depersonalization. It’s like my body was stuck in a moment I couldn’t grasp time progression. Truly horrific
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I am struggling with bad insomnia. Lately only getting 1 maybe 3 broken hours. Last night i know I laid in bed for a couple hours trying to sleep, but  I cannot remember if I slept or not. I didnt dream, but there is a block of time that I dont remember being awake. So i assume i must have slept some. I know from 5:30 to 7:30 am i slept on and off because i dreamt alit. When you dont dream does it mean your in a deeper sleep? Has anyone has this experience with insomnia and not rememberung if you actually slept? Im sooo tired.

 

This happens to me often on bad nights. Do you have a Fitbit or a heart rate monitor? I actually find it helpful as it can help to determine what kind of sleep you’re getting. When you use the app, it will show different levels of sleep. I’m not sure exactly how accurate it is but it seems to be pretty darn good.

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It is stage 1 light sleep.  You may be aware of your surroundings and things going on around you but still in light sleep.  The top 3 Benzo withdrawal symptoms are anxiety, depression and insomnia.

 

Insomnia is the worse of the three in my opinion.  I had lots and lots of zero nights and months and months of very little sleep.  Lack of sleep won't kill you, in fact, you probably won't even get sick?  I never did over 8 months of very little sleep when the cold and flu went through the rest of our house. 

 

Unfortunately your sleep will probably get worse as you get near the end of your taper?  Then it will take some time to get back to normal.  Ashton says 6-12 months for most.  Some take 18 - 24 months of longer.  But that doesn't mean the entire time is lousy sleep.  You will slowly get better nights, but still have bad nights. 

 

Your body also gets "micro sleeps" to sustain you.  these are very short periods when the brain shuts off to do its thing.

 

 

 

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It is stage 1 light sleep.  You may be aware of your surroundings and things going on around you but still in light sleep.  The top 3 Benzo withdrawal symptoms are anxiety, depression and insomnia.

 

Insomnia is the worse of the three in my opinion.  I had lots and lots of zero nights and months and months of very little sleep.  Lack of sleep won't kill you, in fact, you probably won't even get sick?  I never did over 8 months of very little sleep when the cold and flu went through the rest of our house. 

 

Unfortunately your sleep will probably get worse as you get near the end of your taper?  Then it will take some time to get back to normal.  Ashton says 6-12 months for most.  Some take 18 - 24 months of longer.  But that doesn't mean the entire time is lousy sleep.  You will slowly get better nights, but still have bad nights. 

 

Your body also gets "micro sleeps" to sustain you.  these are very short periods when the brain shuts off to do its thing.

 

I need to update my signature. I jumped on October 7th. I think its been about 7 weeks. About 10 days or so after jumping the poor sleep i was getting during my taper with a worse insomnia after my last cut before jumping, it became very bad. I do get some nights that i am able to fall back to sleep. Last night I slept a total of at least 6 hours, which was such a blessing! I always wake up about every hour, even if I do sleep.

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It is stage 1 light sleep.  You may be aware of your surroundings and things going on around you but still in light sleep.  The top 3 Benzo withdrawal symptoms are anxiety, depression and insomnia.

 

Insomnia is the worse of the three in my opinion.  I had lots and lots of zero nights and months and months of very little sleep.  Lack of sleep won't kill you, in fact, you probably won't even get sick?  I never did over 8 months of very little sleep when the cold and flu went through the rest of our house. 

 

Unfortunately your sleep will probably get worse as you get near the end of your taper?  Then it will take some time to get back to normal.  Ashton says 6-12 months for most.  Some take 18 - 24 months of longer.  But that doesn't mean the entire time is lousy sleep.  You will slowly get better nights, but still have bad nights. 

 

Your body also gets "micro sleeps" to sustain you.  these are very short periods when the brain shuts off to do its thing.

 

I need to update my signature. I jumped on October 7th. I think its been about 7 weeks. About 10 days or so after jumping the poor sleep i was getting during my taper with a worse insomnia after my last cut before jumping, it became very bad. I do get some nights that i am able to fall back to sleep. Last night I slept a total of at least 6 hours, which was such a blessing! I always wake up about every hour, even if I do sleep.

 

So you already get 6 hours sleep and you are only 7 weeks off - thats very very good. You can be thankful.

Trust your body and be yourself the best mum - cook yourself a tea or make a hot chocolate in the evening, take a warm bath or whatever a mum would do with a sleepy kid:-)

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Acute withdrawal usually lasts 30-90 days for most people.  It is a period of intense symptoms and little or no sleep.  Then things slowly start to get better.  However, it is UP and DOWN for quite some time for most.  I had very poor sleep for 8 months, then it slowly got better.  I had a few good nights in the 8 months but way more zero or 1-2 hour nights. 

 

6 hours is awesome this early on in your withdrawal.  Appreciate the good nights.  There is no rhyme or reason for sleep.  You could do well for days or even weeks only to get hit hard by days and weeks of little or no sleep.  It is a real roller coaster ride.  But you can make it through.  I did and so did many others.  There is one very negative person on this site that might never get past insomnia, but that is because he doesn't want to.

 

I still wake up 2-4 times per night and I am almost 28 months off.  I usually fall right back to sleep.  The best way to deal with not getting sleep is to not care.  If you freak out and toss and turn, you will probably not get much or any sleep.  Just relax and lay and bed and rest your body.  Of course, you can get up to use the bathroom or get something to eat. 

 

Your sleep will even out over time.... :thumbsup:

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I'll just add, as others have already mentioned, that YES, it is very likely you slept some if you have that "I'm not sure" feeling. People with insomnia typically underestimate how much they actually sleep because REM sleep and light sleep blend pretty seamlessly with wakefulness in bed. We tend to zone in on the wakefulness portion (that's called negativity bias folks!) and forget about the REM/light sleep that may have slipped in. If you get out of bed with that "I'm not sure I slept" feeling, then you probably did sleep, at least a little bit!

 

The hardest thing for me, but I'm getting better at it with practice, is simply taking a more carefree attitude. Think of sleep like a meandering river. You get in your bed (the raft) and simply let the river take you to wherever it goes. Don't try to control it, just let the journey unfold without any expectations. That may or may not entail sleep. Just lay back and let whatever happens happen. If after a while, if super awake and anxious, then it might be best to disembark from the raft and go do something else quiet and pleasurable. Then try again....repeat if necessary.

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