October - December 2018 Jump Club

I jumped on October 19th.  I'm feeling *okay* so far.  I'm curious to hear from others who have finished their tapers and jumped or walked off as well.  Mine was actually more of a walk off, as I tapered .001mg a day for the last month or so of my taper. 

I'm about two and a half weeks off, and feeling okay.  I mean I feel pretty much the same I did during a lot of my taper.  I actually slept okay last night.  I am having some anxiety but it's not constant, which is awesome.  Every night though, I am SO COLD.  My hands are like ice.  I fall asleep all bundled up with a sweatshirt and socks on, and then, at some point in the night, I wake up and finally feel warm enough to take that stuff off.  My muscles ache a lot.  I have not gone back to exercising a lot, just  a little. 

Hey anyone else recently jumped?  I'm two months off now.  Feeling very negative.  Lots of issues with strong emotions.  I'm curious how others are doing?

Im 2 months off as well. Lightheaded on and off. Ive had some mild anxiety and depression and occasional pins and needles sensations, but overall I think Im slowly improving. Some days are better than others, but all in all I feel blessed. Many others are suffering so much more. I pray that we all heal quickly and fully.

HI

I jumped December 2, 2018. I guess that qualifies me for this club lol. Anyway, I joined benzobuddies at day 19 when the severe depression hit. I really needed support. Glad I joined. Is anyone still dealing with depression? I would really like some hope that this will get better.

Welcome FP and 19days!

 

FP - That is great that you are improving.  It's such a good feeling isn't it?

 

19days - I am having some depression I think.  I am having a hard time seeing anything positive about anything lately. 

OMG I am craving sugar and sweets so badly.  I have thought about going on a keto diet and think I will but my sugar cravings are so intense.  Anyone else have this?

OMG I am craving sugar and sweets so badly.  I have thought about going on a keto diet and think I will but my sugar cravings are so intense.  Anyone else have this?

Yuuummm.. -Yup..!!

Hi Green C..

 

August the 3rd 2018.. valium... to 0.25v..  Slow SX guided pill split taper...

 

I havnt written much about post stepping off on the main boards, mainly because there were/are too many factors non benzo for it to be much use to those that dont know me well, and its too hard to explain, or more attempt to explain...

 

Probs the best way is that it was similar in intensity to previous cuts, but new and different SX too, and I felt much fresher.. many long forgotten SX appeared and gave a mild flicker, and were gone...

Pretty happy with how things were at about 4ish months...

 

I am tapering lyrica (1 cut left), and in tolerance WD on opiates (holding)

 

My best to Everyone...

🐢

I jumped off .25mg valium after a 6 month taper on October 20th and off Celexa 10mg on November 23, so finding it still difficult and can't talk to family/friends bc they are sick of hearing about it. This process is so frustrating and everyone around me thinks it's in my head, but I know better. I have been able to exercise a couple days a week so far during a short window, but have had 2 weeks where I get my window and exercise then have a wave for 3-4 days. I know it takes time, but I want my life back!!!!

Welcome Cant and Healing2! 

 

Cant- I actually took lyrica for a few weeks for pain, just last month, and it was so powerful.  How is the withdrawal for that? 

 

Healing 2 -  What an accomplishment, off both benzos AND ads!  Everyone I know is sick of talking about this too.  That's great that you have been able to exercise.  I have been super careful in my recent window about overdoing it.  I am so scared I'll overdo it and go back into a wave. 

Welcome Cant and Healing2! 

 

Cant- I actually took lyrica for a few weeks for pain, just last month, and it was so powerful.  How is the withdrawal for that? 

 

Healing 2 -  What an accomplishment, off both benzos AND ads!  Everyone I know is sick of talking about this too.  That's great that you have been able to exercise.  I have been super careful in my recent window about overdoing it.  I am so scared I'll overdo it and go back into a wave.

Hi Green C

 

Good timing to ask..!! I stepped off the lyrica today.. -It was starting to go south on me, probs the single daily dosing (25mg)...

Has been a day..

sweats, shakes, chest, muscles, nerves.. -oh you all know the story...

Though two odd ones..  -my throat/jaw feel tight like a toxic reaction thing..

And I keep feeling like im getting ant bites all over, which makes resting hard..

 

Anyways, 2 down, 1 to go... -He says casually on day 1..

 

My best to You,

And Everyone...

 

 

Hey Everyone! 

 

Today is my third day trying out a ketogenic diet.  It's definitely a big adjustment for me.  I am hoping to see some positive changes including weight loss.  I also ordered some Sam-e, a natural supplement that can help with depression.  I am hoping that it will help with my anger and negative thoughts, speaking of which, they have gotten less.  Not gone but definitely less.

 

I also think I have injured my rotator cuffs.  I am not sure what to do.  I might need physical therapy.  When I go to lie down on my side, it is too painful to do that on my left side.  My right side I can still do it. This happened after I shoveled some snow and used these muscles, maybe too much, after not using them since April of 2018. 

 

How is everyone doing?  Windows for everyone I hope.  I would say I am in a good space, not exactly a full window, but it's so much better than when everything is doom and gloom. 

Hey Everyone! 

 

Today is my third day trying out a ketogenic diet.  It's definitely a big adjustment for me.  I am hoping to see some positive changes including weight loss.  I also ordered some Sam-e, a natural supplement that can help with depression.  I am hoping that it will help with my anger and negative thoughts, speaking of which, they have gotten less.  Not gone but definitely less.

 

I also think I have injured my rotator cuffs.  I am not sure what to do.  I might need physical therapy.  When I go to lie down on my side, it is too painful to do that on my left side.  My right side I can still do it. This happened after I shoveled some snow and used these muscles, maybe too much, after not using them since April of 2018. 

 

How is everyone doing?  Windows for everyone I hope.  I would say I am in a good space, not exactly a full window, but it's so much better than when everything is doom and gloom.

Hey Green..

 

Well some of thats good to hear..!! -Not so much the RC though.. I hope it wont be a big recovery, but I know you will do your best with it either way...

 

Plodding along here, up n down, -ever forwards..

 

 

Hello! I Jumped off in October too. Have taken a few rescue doses since then but am feeling much more stable now than I was the first few weeks off. Even traveled by plane (LONG flight, San Fransisco to Japan where I live) for the first time without benzos or sleeping pills in many years. Cut Zoloft from 50 mg to 25 mg last week and was in bed with a headache and horrible depression all weekend but managed to get up today. Right this moment I am having insomnia though. My diet is awful and I really need to work on that but one thing at a time...

Hello! I Jumped off in October too. Have taken a few rescue doses since then but am feeling much more stable now than I was the first few weeks off. Even traveled by plane (LONG flight, San Fransisco to Japan where I live) for the first time without benzos or sleeping pills in many years. Cut Zoloft from 50 mg to 25 mg last week and was in bed with a headache and horrible depression all weekend but managed to get up today. Right this moment I am having insomnia though. My diet is awful and I really need to work on that but one thing at a time...

Hey...

Well done on the flight..!!

I also find a good diet very hard... Probably the worst aspect is just no energy to do it.. I try to have healthy finger food on hand, but I also crave sugar... Though at the good points of my taper I couldnt stand it, and do much better with propper meals..

 

Be well..

Hi Cantfly - Yes I also crave sugar terribly every day... I used to crave alcohol too but my tolerance has gone way down over the past few years (maybe benzo related) and now I rarely drink. I think I feel better for that. I can usually get to the store and cook one or two days a week, but any more than that seems so overwhelming. I have struggled with this issue my whole adult life and really wish I could find the strength to form better dietary habits.

Take care~

Im approaching 3 months off Ativan and am feeling so much better. My dizzines is pretty much non existent now, just an occasional lightheadedness. Energy level is much better. Depression and anxiety are pretty much gone. Im amazed at how much better I feel from last month. I hope Im not jinxing myself, but if my healing continues at this rate I would say that within a month or two I would consider myself healed.

My next concern is getting off Pristiq. But, with how good Im feeling, Im a bit skeptical about starting a new taper right now.

 

Fingers crossed that my healing continues and prayers to all for a speedy recovery.

 

Fp

Hey FP- That is great news that your depression and anxiety are lifting in your third month.    I would say my depression is my worst symptom right now, but strangely it isn't everyday or all the time.  I feel like I'm constantly going in and out of depression.  I bet I would get diagnosed as manic/depressive if I went to a doc about this. 

 

Cant and Ilovebirds-  Yes I hear you on the sugar cravings.  I am on day 6 of the keto diet and I have learned how to make keto cookies and keto pancakes with keto pancakes syrup.  LOL.  I'm finding my sugar cravings are the hardest parts but I am having all things sugar free now, so hopefully I will start craving it less.  I am also leaning heavily on diet soda, which is probably not that healthy but I need a crutch to get me through this. 

Oh your braver than me GreenC..!!

 

I have always read great things about keto and the situation we find ourselves in.. And I came upon it from some pretty varied angles that werent WD specific.. Like physical brain trauma, and conditions like FM..

 

Lol, I have a picture of your cookies and pancakes in my head..!! -I best not share..!!

 

Seriously good for you.. -Best wishes...

 

 

Hey there, how is everyone doing?

 

I've started a keto diet, or somewhat modified keto diet, basically very low carb with cheat days and also started taking this supplement Sam-E for depression.  I feel like these two things have really been helping me.  I feel like I am so damaged though.  Maybe I always was and didn't know it?  I got a book about low self esteem and I think I have this.  It's weird though, cause I didn't know it and I honestly could not really hear my inner thoughts or dialogue very well the whole time while on benzos.  Now that I can hear it, it feels like someone else's thoughts, not mine.  I have no idea why I have the beliefs I have.  I think maybe this is partly some dp/dr as well. 

Hey I wanted to update how I'm doing.  So I'm almost ten months off, will be in four days.  I am doing  so much better.  I still have some nights of crappy sleep and weird hyper-vigilance and anxiety; however, it is so much less and so much easier to deal with now.  My muscle pain is less.  In general, I feel like my problems, each of them by themselves, are at the level that maybe someone without benzo withdrawal might experience in their lives.  Of course, all put together, it's still very annoying but I do feel like life is much easier than last year at this time.

 

I notice a stomach reaction very very soon after I eat something I disagree with.  Right now, that seems to be anything with white flour or sugar.  I am okay with potatoes and pasta, so lucky for me with that one.  I do think potatoes are probably one of the healthier carbs, so I am eating a bunch of them now.  I can't seem to enjoy frozen yogurt or cheesecake without feeling awful, so I have started just not having them.  The other day I had peanuts covered with honey, and I was okay after that. 

 

I also have started to...LOSE WEIGHT!  That is super exciting and I think due to the fact that I am just not eating as much sugar and white flour. Kind of annoying cause it isn't really my choice, but not the worst thing. 

 

I'd love to hear from others who off for around the same amount of time. 

Hi,

Im 9.5 months off and also feeling so much better in many ways. My main symptoms Im left with are slight dizziness and lightheadedness in the mornings, a bit of cog fog, and some mild chest pains, and minor visual symptoms. All side effects have greatly reduced and Im seeing full recovery in sight. I did drink two beers that caused an uptick in symptoms for about a month - never again! I hope everyone else is on the road to recovery as well!

Fp

Ugh I am in a wave right now.  It feels very much like a flu but with a lot more muscle aches than I think normal flus should have.  I'm also very very tired, even after staying in bed for so so long.  I was actually doing really well the last two months, and well, even most of the summer.  This started two nights ago and was not sudden but has been gradually getting worse.  I hope this doesn't last long.  I will be taking it really easy and hopefully it will lift.

Ugh I am in a wave right now.  It feels very much like a flu but with a lot more muscle aches than I think normal flus should have.  I'm also very very tired, even after staying in bed for so so long.  I was actually doing really well the last two months, and well, even most of the summer.  This started two nights ago and was not sudden but has been gradually getting worse.  I hope this doesn't last long.  I will be taking it really easy and hopefully it will lift.

I hear you..!!

-Seems some benzo stuff has crept in around the 1yr mark.. Muscle and general fatigue X100..

Im just resting through it, -lots of naps...

Obviously I have lots of “other” stuff going on too, so I cant pinpoint too much...

 

There are a lot of deep good changes too, I feel the “life” coming back, -motivation/drive..

 

I guess we can stay “fragile” for a while..

 

Keep up the good work, and feel better soon...

 

 

Hey there.  Curious  to how everyone is doing now?  I am doing so much better, but I am still definitely having some issues still.  I'm having a bunch of cog fog lately.