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Baylissa Frederick on “How long will my withdrawal/Symptoms last?”


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“I think the most asked question in withdrawal is, “How long is this going to last?” Because of the persisting symptoms, it is inevitable that one will desperately want to know how much longer the suffering will last. So it’s near-impossible to not ask this question. One week of symptoms is a week too long.

 

“If you find that thoughts of duration are preoccupying your mind, don’t be hard on yourself. Accept that it is normal to want to know. But also remind yourself that this is a question no one can answer and the more you obsess about it, the more frustrated and upset you will become. A watched pot seems never to boil. The more you focus on duration, the more you will lose patience. And patience is key to coping well.

 

“So, as you navigate your way through another day of withdrawal, see if you can make peace with the process, and dig deep down for more patience. Don’t project too far ahead. For now, it is about getting through the day, trusting that tomorrow will take care of itself.

 

“Trust that no matter how long this process is taking, healing is happening and you are headed for recovery. The time will come when you will be able to put this experience behind you and move on.

 

“I know I say this a lot but it is oh so important.  I am just asking you to please remember that the best approach to withdrawal is to recognize that no matter how much you resist and struggle against the process, nothing will change other than that there will be a possible increase in your stress levels and resulting intensification of some symptoms. It makes sense to not resist the symptoms and to accept them as a necessary path to and part of your recovery journey.

 

“You must keep reminding yourself that what is happening is normal and that like the many people before you, the symptoms will eventually disappear and you will recover. It just does not make sense to be constantly struggling against what is happening (your nervous system healing). It is unrealistic and it compounds matters, causing immense stress, which in turn can make the symptoms even more intense.

 

“Accepting the presence of the symptoms doesn’t necessarily mean you are in a zen-like state, smiling happily and affirming that you are healing! It just means that you have realized there is nothing you can do but wait for the healing to be completed. And that no amount of resistance will change the fact that this is a “time” issue and that patience is key.

 

“So, keep holding on… keep going… and be as accepting and as patient as you can be. One day this nightmare will be over and you will be able to move on. Keep ploughing ahead.

 

“When people have recovered, they always say how content they are, how grateful they feel and how even the simplest things bring them joy. They also say that having been able to cope with withdrawal has made them profoundly appreciate how strong and courageous they are and that they can’t imagine anything in life ever having the ability to affect them as much as withdrawal did. Nothing will ever faze them. This has also been my experience.

 

“I know it may be near-impossible for you to see any good coming out of your situation at this time, but one day you will feel differently. I don’t know what your gifts will be, but I do believe there will be some. I know that today, all you may be thinking about is coping with the symptoms and getting through the day, but this will change as you continue to heal. Remember, these symptoms are going to go one day, and go for good. You will be delighted that you have recovered, and you will say the same as those who made it to the other side.

 

“I’ve always said I wouldn’t swap anything for the feelings of gratitude and the “preciousness” of life which I now enjoy. No matter how intense things are for you today, please trust that your time is coming. You will be able to sit back, reflect and smile gently to yourself when you think of all you have overcome and how strong you truly are.

 

“While you wait, please never lose sight of the fact that everything that is happening now is leading you to recovery. All you have to do is hold on, allow the process to unfold, and take good care of yourself in the meantime. You are going to make it to the other side.”

 

--Baylissa Frederick

 

Edit: Clarified source and enclosed text in quotation marks

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Did Baylissa write this? Anyway, I want to thank you for being so helpful and always responding to my PMs. It is so hard not to be consumed by withdrawal, so damn hard not to get one's mind off it. I finally had a couple good nights this weekend and am struggling again. I need to work on accepting this and not panicking.
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Yes, I gave her credit as she wrote most of it.  PM me anytime.  Glad to help.  I promised another buddy that after I healed, I would come back and help out.  Plus I like to "pay it forward."  Please hold onto the fact that if you had a couple of good nights this past weekend, they will happen again and become more frequent.  I know this is very hard to do at this point. 

 

Withdrawal was by far the worst thing I ever experienced in life and the hardest thing I ever had to do both mentally and physically.  I went through basic training in the early 1980s (Army) and that was a cake walk compared to withdrawal and recovery.  :) In fact, I honestly no longer think anything is "hard" or "difficult" in life compared to withdrawal.  I am much stronger, much more thankful and much more appreciate for each day now that I have healed.

 

You WILL get there!

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  • 4 weeks later...
Thank you for sharing that ... I will save it for ever and re read when I feel terrible and again when I feel well . I hope I will make it to the other side .
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  • 2 months later...

I think the most asked question in withdrawal is, “How long is this going to last?” Because of the persisting symptoms, it is inevitable that one will desperately want to know how much longer the suffering will last. So it’s near-impossible to not ask this question. One week of symptoms is a week too long.

 

If you find that thoughts of duration are preoccupying your mind, don’t be hard on yourself. Accept that it is normal to want to know. But also remind yourself that this is a question no one can answer and the more you obsess about it, the more frustrated and upset you will become. A watched pot seems never to boil. The more you focus on duration, the more you will lose patience. And patience is key to coping well.

 

So, as you navigate your way through another day of withdrawal, see if you can make peace with the process, and dig deep down for more patience. Don’t project too far ahead. For now, it is about getting through the day, trusting that tomorrow will take care of itself.

 

Trust that no matter how long this process is taking, healing is happening and you are headed for recovery. The time will come when you will be able to put this experience behind you and move on.

 

I know I say this a lot but it is oh so important.  I am just asking you to please remember that the best approach to withdrawal is to recognize that no matter how much you resist and struggle against the process, nothing will change other than that there will be a possible increase in your stress levels and resulting intensification of some symptoms. It makes sense to not resist the symptoms and to accept them as a necessary path to and part of your recovery journey.

 

You must keep reminding yourself that what is happening is normal and that like the many people before you, the symptoms will eventually disappear and you will recover. It just does not make sense to be constantly struggling against what is happening (your nervous system healing). It is unrealistic and it compounds matters, causing immense stress, which in turn can make the symptoms even more intense.

 

Accepting the presence of the symptoms doesn’t necessarily mean you are in a zen-like state, smiling happily and affirming that you are healing! It just means that you have realized there is nothing you can do but wait for the healing to be completed. And that no amount of resistance will change the fact that this is a “time” issue and that patience is key.

 

So, keep holding on… keep going… and be as accepting and as patient as you can be. One day this nightmare will be over and you will be able to move on. Keep ploughing ahead.

 

When people have recovered, they always say how content they are, how grateful they feel and how even the simplest things bring them joy. They also say that having been able to cope with withdrawal has made them profoundly appreciate how strong and courageous they are and that they can’t imagine anything in life ever having the ability to affect them as much as withdrawal did. Nothing will ever faze them. This has also been my experience.

 

I know it may be near-impossible for you to see any good coming out of your situation at this time, but one day you will feel differently. I don’t know what your gifts will be, but I do believe there will be some. I know that today, all you may be thinking about is coping with the symptoms and getting through the day, but this will change as you continue to heal. Remember, these symptoms are going to go one day, and go for good. You will be delighted that you have recovered, and you will say the same as those who made it to the other side.

 

I’ve always said I wouldn’t swap anything for the feelings of gratitude and the “preciousness” of life which I now enjoy. No matter how intense things are for you today, please trust that your time is coming. You will be able to sit back, reflect and smile gently to yourself when you think of all you have overcome and how strong you truly are.

 

While you wait, please never lose sight of the fact that everything that is happening now is leading you to recovery. All you have to do is hold on, allow the process to unfold, and take good care of yourself in the meantime. You are going to make it to the other side.

 

--Baylissa Frederick

 

Thank you for this!

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Thanks so much for posting this.  Like tech I will keep reading and rereading it.  I realized early on that attitude is everything and healing is happening even though it doesn't feel like it some days.  It's a great reminder!

 

Bright Blessings 

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I been off Ativan 14 long months and still I feel like month one, I had pre insomnia so its not the benzo anymore, just back to the insomnia before the benzo, tried without nyquil last night got 3 horrid hours if that
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I think the most asked question in withdrawal is, “How long is this going to last?” Because of the persisting symptoms, it is inevitable that one will desperately want to know how much longer the suffering will last. So it’s near-impossible to not ask this question. One week of symptoms is a week too long.

 

If you find that thoughts of duration are preoccupying your mind, don’t be hard on yourself. Accept that it is normal to want to know. But also remind yourself that this is a question no one can answer and the more you obsess about it, the more frustrated and upset you will become. A watched pot seems never to boil. The more you focus on duration, the more you will lose patience. And patience is key to coping well.

 

So, as you navigate your way through another day of withdrawal, see if you can make peace with the process, and dig deep down for more patience. Don’t project too far ahead. For now, it is about getting through the day, trusting that tomorrow will take care of itself.

 

Trust that no matter how long this process is taking, healing is happening and you are headed for recovery. The time will come when you will be able to put this experience behind you and move on.

 

I know I say this a lot but it is oh so important.  I am just asking you to please remember that the best approach to withdrawal is to recognize that no matter how much you resist and struggle against the process, nothing will change other than that there will be a possible increase in your stress levels and resulting intensification of some symptoms. It makes sense to not resist the symptoms and to accept them as a necessary path to and part of your recovery journey.

 

You must keep reminding yourself that what is happening is normal and that like the many people before you, the symptoms will eventually disappear and you will recover. It just does not make sense to be constantly struggling against what is happening (your nervous system healing). It is unrealistic and it compounds matters, causing immense stress, which in turn can make the symptoms even more intense.

 

Accepting the presence of the symptoms doesn’t necessarily mean you are in a zen-like state, smiling happily and affirming that you are healing! It just means that you have realized there is nothing you can do but wait for the healing to be completed. And that no amount of resistance will change the fact that this is a “time” issue and that patience is key.

 

So, keep holding on… keep going… and be as accepting and as patient as you can be. One day this nightmare will be over and you will be able to move on. Keep ploughing ahead.

 

When people have recovered, they always say how content they are, how grateful they feel and how even the simplest things bring them joy. They also say that having been able to cope with withdrawal has made them profoundly appreciate how strong and courageous they are and that they can’t imagine anything in life ever having the ability to affect them as much as withdrawal did. Nothing will ever faze them. This has also been my experience.

 

I know it may be near-impossible for you to see any good coming out of your situation at this time, but one day you will feel differently. I don’t know what your gifts will be, but I do believe there will be some. I know that today, all you may be thinking about is coping with the symptoms and getting through the day, but this will change as you continue to heal. Remember, these symptoms are going to go one day, and go for good. You will be delighted that you have recovered, and you will say the same as those who made it to the other side.

 

I’ve always said I wouldn’t swap anything for the feelings of gratitude and the “preciousness” of life which I now enjoy. No matter how intense things are for you today, please trust that your time is coming. You will be able to sit back, reflect and smile gently to yourself when you think of all you have overcome and how strong you truly are.

 

While you wait, please never lose sight of the fact that everything that is happening now is leading you to recovery. All you have to do is hold on, allow the process to unfold, and take good care of yourself in the meantime. You are going to make it to the other side.

 

--Baylissa Frederick

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Thanks for posting this!

The benzo wisdom says that you are right but do you know how hard is to keep the faith after more than 6 long years? Still having poor sleeping, digestive issues, internal buzzing, not being able to walk in a straight line, tinitus, benzo belly, twitching everywhere and sooo many more? I can't stop thinking if this is still withdrawal or something else. And age also works against some of us. Trying my best to be positive but it is super damn hard ...

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Hi Miti,

 

Sorry you are still suffering so badly this far out.  Have you had other medical tests done to rule out other causes?

 

Getting older sucks.  I'm 55. 

 

You won your bet with me.  You said I would be sleeping enough to live a "normal" life by mid 2017 and you were right!  :thumbsup:

 

If there are no other medical conditions that could cause those symptoms then it may still be related to WD?

 

Praying for you...

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theway2 I've been following your posts for a while. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and knowledge.

I wonder why at 15 months off, I am falling back into a wave with no real windows appearing.

Last fall and winter, I had some things going on, which started the waves, but lately nothing major has happened.I just keep feeling worse with the insomnia and all that goes with a couple or so hours of sleep a night.

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

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Hi Nightengale,

 

Late term waves a more common that most think.  I went for about 8 months feeling pretty good and sleeping good then got hit by a late wave at 18 months off.  I had 4 zero nights and lots of 1-3 hour nights over 29 days.  I then had some off nights (more than I was having) for the next few months. It freaked me out until I learned that it is somewhat common.  I haven't had any major waves since.  Some even theorized that I was in a very long window with some mini waves?

 

Have you been out of the waves for some time?  This is not reassuring, but waves can appear at any time, until they finally go away for good. 

 

Sorry you are not sleeping. I think insomnia is one of the most cruel WD symptoms.  I know what not sleeping is like and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.  But at the same time, please know that while it makes you feel terrible, lack of sleep won't hurt you.

 

If you had windows before they will come back again...promise!  I know others said they got hit by late 2, 3, 4 month or longer waves before things finally evened out.

 

Are you eating healthy?  Are you taking any other Rx drugs?  Are you drinking lots of water?

 

I wish I could wave a magic wand and end your wave...along with everyone else on this forum!  :thumbsup:

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Thanks for the reassurance Theway2, as during the long sleepless nights, I begin to think this may never end.

I'll just try to keep believing this is only a rough road I am on and it will eventually smooth out.

At times I think insomnia will kill me. Sounds dramatic, but when I see myself getting so sick again from the lack of sleep, it's easy to fall into that trap.

 

I think I eat healthy. Breakfast is oatmeal with fresh raspberries and blueberries along with black coffee. Coffee is what wakes me up with some energy to make it through the day.  Lunch is a salad or a bowl of soup or tuna fish and wheat crackers. Dinner is whatever I fix for my husband and myself. We eat light, as my husband is in mid/late state Alzheimer's and has lost most of his appetite. I admit to one bad thing. A small bowl of homemade ice cream most nights, but I add so very little sugar to it, I call it healthy. ha My PCP said ice cream was good as I was getting my calcium. I gave up alcohol (a glass of wine at dinner) when I first started my taper. I don't smoke nor do I take supplements or anything OTC, tho this last week I started taking a multi vitamin. At times I think it bothers me, so stop, then try it again. The jury is still out. I admit to having small sips of alcohol, perhaps once every few months when I take my husband out to dinner and he orders a margarita. Just guessing here, but I probably drink less than one ounce. Is that messing with my brain too much?

The only other medication I take is .5 mgs of Estradiol every other day. The goal is to go off of that, but I wanted to see if my benzo symptoms would level out before going off of my HRT. 

Late last summer and into the early fall, I felt like I was mostly out of the waves and into a window. I was sleeping better and felt fairly normal. Many of my symptoms had gone away. Everything fell apart after the out of state class reunion and the following weekend to visit some friends.Then my mom fell and broke her hip on December 14th, so two more quick trips out of state. The wave opened up and stayed there. Knowing you were in 2,3 and 4 month waves is reassuring that my 4 month long one will end one day. Any thoughts of what I might change, I am open to hearing. Thanks!

 

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I am not sure, but HRT (Estradiol) could play a factor in your insomnia?  It's a guessing game.  Alcohol works on Benzos like Gaba, so that could also be affecting you even though it is small amounts?

 

Sorry for all of your life events...those can definitely cause symptoms to increase!  I have read about people developing insomnia after losing a loved one and then going on Benzos!

 

You could have been in a nice long window during summer and early fall?  I did well for about 7-8 months and thought I was done with waves when I got slammed by a month long one at 18 months off.

 

Multivitamins have been know to amplify symptoms for some.  It is sometimes the B vitamins?

 

I guess most of it is trial and error.  I stopped trying to connect the dots with what I did or didn't do and I think that helped a lot.  I would always try to associate a poor/bad night of sleep with something I ate or did.  I know if I exercised later in the day or early evening I usually didn't sleep well.  Thankfully that has passed.

 

Some people have good luck with Reishi Mushroom mix for sleep...Thrive market and Amazon sell a four sigmatic brand of reishi elixir!

 

Some of the sleep teas work too, but many contain Chamomile that works like natural Benzo.  It may or may not work and I am not sure if it would set you back?

 

Sometimes it just takes a bit longer to get your sleep back, especially if you were on Benzos for a long period of time?  Although that doesn't apply to every one.

 

CBD oil is safe and legal in all 50 states and works for some.  It didn't work for me.  Maybe it would for you?

 

Things can only get better.  Be strong and stay positive!

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Theway2 my PCP said that the Estradiol does effect the brain but was not specific as to how it did. When I first was prescribed HRT it did help me sleep, or so I thought.  After being on clonazepam and Ambien for approx 20 years for insomnia my brain is no doubt going to take a while to repair itself.

I didn't touch any alcohol for the year of my taper and really stopped caring about it after a period of time, so why drink the little bit of margarita? Sometimes I don't and probably should just let it go for another year or so.

 

I was in a nice window through the late summer and early fall. I almost didn't go to my class reunion and to visit our friends, but thought, why not. Life has passed me by for a long period of time, so I jumped back on the merry go round.

 

Probably it is the B vitamins that mess with us. I tried taking vitamin D and thought that messed with me, so gave up on that. A multi vitamin has a some of everything. What I noticed when I took a B vitamin was I found myself walking around singing, though that has stopped.

Oddly, when something first works for sleep..such as eating a few pretzels, after the second or third day, it stops working. I also look back at what I ate after a night of sleeping, but typically cannot repeat it the next night.

 

As for sleepy time tea, I tried that, then tossed that out the window when I learned it can effect the gaba receptors. I am not sure if I slept any better when I drank the tea.

 

I live in liberal colorado where pot is legal, though I have never tried pot. I think I will also not try the CBD oil at this point.

 

Thanks Theway2!

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Hi Miti,

 

Sorry you are still suffering so badly this far out.  Have you had other medical tests done to rule out other causes?

 

Getting older sucks.  I'm 55. 

 

You won your bet with me.  You said I would be sleeping enough to live a "normal" life by mid 2017 and you were right!  :thumbsup:

 

If there are no other medical conditions that could cause those symptoms then it may still be related to WD?

 

Praying for you...

 

I had lots of tests done and other than Testosterone being towards the low end, everything else is pretty close to the middle of the normal lab range. I can see the Testosterone going down if I don't sleep well.

Even though I don't remember betting with you, I'm glad that I won this bet. I've lost many times betting with myself.

I'm more than five years younger than you. I know that getting old sucks but not getting old sucks even more. Think about it. Old only is OK, old and sick is a party pooper.

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If any of you like me had Insomnia BEFORE Benzos then it will never get better

 

Mark, you know that's not true.  Lots of people on this forum had insomnia first, took Benzos, got off Benzos and learned to deal with their insomnia in other ways so they did get enough sleep back to live a "normal" life.  I am one of them, so is MTfan and Aloha.  There are others too. 

 

The best way to beat your pre-Benzo insomnia is to just stop caring if you sleep or not.  Works for most people, but not all. 

 

You could also try CBT, meditation, guided meditation, binaural beats, sleep music, sleep restriction, sleep hygiene, CBD oil, Chamomile tea, etc., etc.

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@[Ni...]

 

Most things only worked for me for a night or 2 also.  Not sure why?  Then they stopped working so I decided the best course for me was to take nothing.  It was terrible, but I got through it.  Now I sleep well almost every single night.  I still wake up a few times, but usually can fall back to sleep quickly and even if I don't, I just don't care.  In the past, I would have freaked out and been awake the rest of the night.  Now I feel like I have control over my sleep (even though I probably don't).  I feel a sense of power over insomnia and I never let it win.  That line of thinking has really helped me and has worked for me. 

 

Praying the sandman makes regular visits to you soon. :)

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theway2 it is interesting how so many on here talk of trying something that works for a night or two, then it stops. Early on I tried Tylenol Pm and the only result I got was being awake all night in a fog. Some supplements sent me into such a spiral, it took days to recover. I just gave it up and really was okay with that, as I didn't want to be beholding to anything after 20 years of the benzo trip.  I will try some foods that have helped me sleep in the past. While I was at my mom's, I ate some pretzels and slept the better part of the night. I assumed I was just incredibly tired, as it was long days getting her settled into rehab and driving back and forth to get clothes, etc for her. Then it dawned on me I had eaten some pretzels the night before. Well that worked well the first night and not so well the 2nd night and not at all the third night. Strange..

 

I am glad to hear you sleep well most nights. I'm not giving up on that.

 

I do have a question about healing. Have there been any studies on the brain healing after getting off of benzos and how we can seem to be recovering and then relapse into a downward spiral for no obvious reason? The last few weeks I returned to the way I felt when I started my too fast taper and then when I finally finished my taper, yet I have not been near any benzos.  I assumed the brain receptors that had died or shriveled up into oblivion had started to grow back into some previous normalcy. I suppose I should donate my brain to science when I am gone, so they can have a good look.

 

Any thoughts on this?

 

Take care,

Nightengale

 

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Hi Nightengale,

 

I believe that is just the unpredictable, nonlinear nature of withdrawal.  Symptoms can WAX and WANE for some time and then can reappear in intensity after months of feeling fairly normal. 

I learned to expect the unexpected during withdrawal.  There is no rhyme or reason to how we recover.  Makes absolutely no sense for some.  It's not like if you break your leg and you know it will heal in X amount of time. Nope, not with Benzo withdrawal.  As you said, you could be fine for months only to feel like you are back in acute again.

 

I felt like my old self for almost 8 months before I got hit by a month long wave at 18 months off.  I asked the same questions.  How could this happen for no obvious reason?  It freaked me out, until I learned it happened to others too.

 

There are not many studies on Benzo withdrawal.  That is why the majority of the medical community does not even believe it exists.  Plus if the medical community acknowledged Benzo withdrawal, they would have to change prescribing practices.  You were on a drug for 20 years that is only supposed to be prescribed for 2-4 weeks maximum.  Why?  Because they don't believe in withdrawal.  They just say you have another mental illness and write a script for more Rx drugs.  It's a vicious cycle.

 

It will even out for you over time.  But it might take longer than you would like it to.

 

Hang in there.  It will get better!

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theway2, I am working on rearranging my thinking.

You are so right on about the doctors prescribing the drugs then leaving us on them. They know of no way out.

Well here we are working our own way through this and thankfully we have a lot of camaraderie and support on the BB site. 

We all found a diamond in the rough.

 

 

 

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