4 years - all better! (also better from floxing)

Hey guys, its been a while since ive posted as ive been focusing on getting better. Its been around 4 years since i quit benzos and i consider myself now 100% recovered. There were some really important things that i had to do in order to recover though as my symptoms were really quite horrendous for a long time with really little to no improvement in what i can only describe as persisting acute withdrawal for around the first 2 years. I had to:

 

1) quit smoking (this helped immensely but the changes were not noticeable for the first 8 months or so, then the improvements in my symptoms became rapid.

 

2) quitting caffeine, this was another big one, but this was much easier than quitting smoking.

 

and lastly,

 

3) exercise (I think this was the biggest help)

 

I made sure i partook in vigorous aerobic exercise / strength training at least 3 days per week. About an hour per session, but as i began to enjoy exercise more and more my workouts grew closer to the 2 hour mark. I really think for the first two years of withdrawal prior to sticking to the changes i listed previously i had actually zero improvement. Ive done a lot of reading of medical literature and i think having things like nicotine and caffeine in your system actually prevent your brain from adjusting to life without benzo's and thus preventing recovery. If i could go back to being 100% normal ((no brain zaps, no anxiety, no depression, no hallucinations, no numbness, tingling, fasciculations (!!!! never thought these would go away!) No more dp/dr! (this was my worst symptom and im now totally free of this! woohoo!)) then so can you! But you really have to give it everything you have. As the days go by and you see incremental improvements, which happen over months not days or weeks!!, you begin to get motivated and push yourself harder.

 

If exercising is hard for you theres a few applications that i found really helpful for someone who has never exercised

1) stronglifts

 

2) freeletics gym or freeletics bodyweight are both great also!

 

These apps took all the thinking out of exercise planning and kept me on target and was a good way to track achievements and progress which made it so much easier.

 

Id also like to mention that my floxing recovery is also complete. This happened after my withdrawal and really set me back terribly. Seizures came back, mental symptoms got far worse etc.

 

Just hang in there guys! You can all get through this!

Thanks for coming back and posting. That's so great to hear.  I have found that exercise is saving my life and the biggest help to getting past w/d too. Thanks a ton for the app suggestions. All the best in your new life.

Congratulations on feeling better. Can you describe the depression you felt and how it went away?

Congrats!!

 

Did it take you a full 4 years to recover? You said first 2 years were terrible, how did it change in year 3?

 

Thanks!

Interested in year 3 as well... feel like I'm  not making any gains.

Thank you! By any chance were you suffering from head pains as well (vice-like pressure)?

I am 2,5 years off - cant wait.. thank you for posting here.

Im glad to here you are well. That sounds like a horrible journey. being floxed is a heartbreaking thing to happen. I cant believe that medical people dont know how dangerous it is for people wdraing.

 

By the way how did you quit smoking?

 

i have quit before but always used excercise to quit. Unfortunetly i cant excercise yet but i cant wait.

Following

Hey guys im going to respond to all of your questions, ive been so busy with work and stuff that i havent been back. Apologies!

 

1- to boomboxboy - the depression i felt was very strange and all encompassing. I felt i had no reason to live, like my brain just wasnt functioning. Sometimes i think the severity of my depression was so bad that i was unable to end my own life because of the fact i was so blatantly ill. I suffered from psychotic episodes fairly frequently and would hallucinate (auditory and visually). The depression seemed to eventually lead to manic episodes sprinkled here and there and eventually it just kind of melted away and is now gone. Almost like a warm feeling of comfort or contentedness that would gradually well up sporadically from time to time until eventually the feeling of contentedness stayed and didnt leave.

 

2 - Klungo - i would say it did not take 4 years to fully recover. The recovery process was strange, after 2 years i had had unrelenting symptoms continuously, then in year three i started to feel okay some times, maybe a couple days every month would feel okay. Then as the third year elapsed these periods of normalcy increased until they became the norm, with occasional flare-ups sprinkled around. And now im 100% better. Year three was when i was mentally really so tired of this whole mess, i was doubting if it was even from benzos anymore or if i was just broken forever. I made a commitment that i would not live my life this way any more and all of the research i did in medical journals and articles showed that aerobic activity and resistance training could result in rapid changes in receptor density in the brain (serotonin, GABA etc.) so in the third year i really began working out forcefully. I would force myself to run for miles as fast as possible. I did this for a month or two and then felt i could begin weight lifting. I think the weightlifting really helped my recovery. I was lifting heavy with lots of squats and deadlifts which give you a great headrush and good cerebral bloodflow spikes. It was during this period of heavy exercise when i would start to feel elated. Not just happy, but i would feel really good. And then after working out it would go away and id be back to feeling crappy with PAWS symptoms that were awful. DP/DR, anxiety, the whole shebang. As time went on the good feelings got better and better and now i feel great, like my old self all the time.

 

3 - SamSmitty - My headaches were extreme. It felt like my brain was exploding inside my skull. These headaches will return if i have too much caffeine. I used to have them about 4 hours each day along with flashes of lights and swirling shapes that would accompany them. Prior to benzos i had not had a headache of this type / magnitude ever. (these were exacerbated severely by quinolone antibiotics and tetracycline antibiotics, i would and do avoid these substances at all costs; all food i buy is certified antibiotic free). I made this choice after doing some research on the binding profiles of various antibiotics and finding that some of them bind to serotonin receptors and GABA receptors in antagonistic ways that can really wreak havoc with some sensitive individuals. Its a little extra money when food shopping but I had been to the depths of hell through this whole process and decided i needed to be sure i eliminated any variable that might affect my recovery at all. 3 years is a long time to feel like a prisoner in your mind as im sure you all know.

 

4 - pheonixrising - i quit smoking using exercise. walking at first, then running, then weightlifting. Before i knew it i wasnt craving cigarettes, i was craving exercise. haha. At first i was also too ill to really exercise, but walking was something that i could do so i would walk interspersed with brief jogging. I did this until i could jog, then progressed to sprinting, then timed sprinted miles etc.

 

Hope these answers help people. I tried to be thorough.

I think one thing i would like to stress and hopefully have, is that i think if i did not give my brain a healing stimulus (exercise) i would be the exact same as i was with very little changes. Much in the way an injured limb needs to be exercised, the brain may need exertion to undergo complete healing. This is only based on my own experience and frustration with this whole process i underwent.

And I see u c/t???  This gives me hope I c/t 2 mg of Ativan!! I’ve been in acute for 14 months no windows!