17 months off...stay calm and patient...

Saturday will mark 17 months of inner torments...

 

First of all,  my heart goes out to all those whose lives have been overturned in one way or another by benzo.

 

Mine has been completely, dramatically transformed since 17month plus 4 months of tapering...it's just unbelievable, amazing, but most of all, it is unjust !

 

No matter our frustration and our anger, we have to face up the challenges posed by the withdrawal and at the same time we have to continue our Life !

 

I'm exhausted...I feel alone...

misunderstood...and I must face a new challenge: tiredness of all that effort, with no end in sight...Enough is enough !

 

But, Buddies, hang in there ! Don't give up ! if you look closely, you will see there's much progress !

 

Yes, that's true...Time is the healer... Distractions the key to  move forward and heal from this tragedy.

 

I know the sun will rise again and I'll be back for a success story ! I promise !

 

Stay calm, be patient, you are all warriors !

Congratulations on this Big Milestone, Braddis!

 

I am walking with you, turning 17 months off on Sunday 

 

The journey is the ultimate challenge, I can sadly very much relate. It tests you in ways you didn't even know where possible, stretching recovery to many long months and beyond, and of course there is no one or hardly any one in the 'real world' which can understand... what a lonely journey.

 

All of it is however shaping a 'New You', with strength you didn't suspect you had. The anhedonia will lift some day and you will discover a huge new appreciation for life and all its simple pleasures. You will value your Life and Soul so much more... and your health of course...!

 

It is all coming your way, Braddis. In the meantime, look at all the progress you've made, even if the signs are still incredibly subtle and small, they are undoubtable signs that you are on your way back. Everything is happening just the way it should. No need to do more, just stay healthy and distract through the ride. Someday surviving and enduring will be words of the past. At 17 months, you can't be that far from feeling a good chunk better.

 

Congratulations again!

 

Julz x

 

Thanks for these kind words Julz !

 

Your view of this journey is so lucid and awareness.

It's always comforting to realise that we are not alone to feel those frightful  feelings. Sometimes, I think I am going crazy for good...

I can see you have reached wisdom that pain brings...

 

Congratulations Julz, I can't wait to read your success story !

 

Thanks for these kind words Julz !

 

Your view of this journey is so lucid and awareness.

It's always comforting to realise that we are not alone to feel those frightful  feelings. Sometimes, I think I am going crazy for good...

I can see you have reached wisdom that pain brings...

 

Congratulations Julz, I can't wait to read your success story !

 

Benzo withdrawal will test you to your core, trying to have you believe you are going insane with intrusive thoughts, anger and rage. Throwing despair and doubt at your face day after day... yet you must keep going knowing that it is all play of the mind, a mind in recovery coming back to health and to the person that you are. You might need to keep repeating yourself the same things over and over again until days and weeks and months start to add up, the main thing is that they do, add up 

This isn't for the fainthearted, to say the least. But here we are still very much standing and stronger than ever. We can do this, and actually, we are doing it. So there is no doubt... the Success Story board is waiting for ours too 

Congrats on 17 months Braddis.  I like your positivity in the face of this grueling ordeal we are all going through.  Keep the faith!

Thanks Soulman.

I've read your profile, tough journey too !

 

Yes, we have to stay positive as much is possible.

Really difficult to live with physical and psychological discomfort or worse still, DR/DP, for months if not years !

You really think it's a never ending story...

 

It's a big mental challenge.

 

Fight against withdrawal  is often a long and difficult battle. The expression "keep your hopes up" takes on a new meaning: adapting to these new circumstances in the best way possible.

 

Congratulations for your tenacity and your perseverance.

 

Dear Braddis and friends,

  You have made tremendous progress...congratulations on 17 months off, you too Julz! This experience calls on our deepest strength and wisdom and the need for unending patience and acceptance. Knowing there are many others facing the same long list of challenges has saved me. I thank you for sharing your struggles.

  I appreciate the positivity and optimism you demonstrate. It's very helpful  to hear. This is a wretched trek but it does end!

  I am much better than the early days. It can still be very rough but I know it will soften to a level that is more comfortable. I'm engaging more in my life again...you will too!  It feels good to plan and have the ability to carry through.

  Again, thank you for your post and congratulations!

 

Carita

Dear Carita,

 

Thanks for your kindness and your encouragement !

 

I am so happy for you that you fell more comfortable and  more engaging in your life. That's a very good thing !

 

"It feels good to plan and have the ability to carry through"

 

You are so right !

 

I remember when I was 8 months off I said to myself

 

 "Ok, I do not know when this will end, but I know I have to  be able to enjoy life even in its hardest moments"

 

To be able to find a new value and a new meaning of life allows to patient and wait until healing occurs in its own time.

 

The good news in all these things is that you will be a total new person, full of strength and wise. A kind of healthy rebirth...

 

It's very important to cheer oneself up to know that is was not only waste time !

 

Congratulations Carita, and Keep on going because it's worth it!

Thank you all for sharing and sending hope our way!

 

Greetings,  You are on the verge of the miracle so hang in there!  It happened for me exactly like this post said, at about 18 months or so "the miracle began to unfold". 

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=104004.0

 

It was a long relentless endurance like a marathon, then suddenly at 18 months I turned some kind of a corner, could feel it, started getting better and better, relief, steadily emerging out of the pit.  I feel better, happier, more hopeful, pleasure, creative and more able than I have in many years.  It steadily increases.  Discontinuing the benzo was a walk in hell, but while I was on it, it had been binding up me and my life in ways I hadn't been aware.

 

Yes, survive, stay alive, on course, calm and patient; your miracle will soon begin to unfold.

Greetings,  You are on the verge of the miracle so hang in there!  It happened for me exactly like this post said, at about 18 months or so "the miracle began to unfold". 

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=104004.0

 

It was a long relentless endurance like a marathon, then suddenly at 18 months I turned some kind of a corner, could feel it, started getting better and better, relief, steadily emerging out of the pit.  I feel better, happier, more hopeful, pleasure, creative and more able than I have in many years.  It steadily increases.  Discontinuing the benzo was a walk in hell, but while I was on it, it had been binding up me and my life in ways I hadn't been aware.

 

Yes, survive, stay alive, on course, calm and patient; your miracle will soon begin to unfold.

 

I wish I could cry... thank you so much, dear AnHerbGardner! 🙏💕

Greetings,  You are on the verge of the miracle so hang in there!  It happened for me exactly like this post said, at about 18 months or so "the miracle began to unfold". 

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=104004.0

 

It was a long relentless endurance like a marathon, then suddenly at 18 months I turned some kind of a corner, could feel it, started getting better and better, relief, steadily emerging out of the pit.  I feel better, happier, more hopeful, pleasure, creative and more able than I have in many years.  It steadily increases.  Discontinuing the benzo was a walk in hell, but while I was on it, it had been binding up me and my life in ways I hadn't been aware.

 

Yes, survive, stay alive, on course, calm and patient; your miracle will soon begin to unfold.

 

During all that time, I survived by reading buddies 's journey, like yours dear  AnHerbGardner.

 

You know what it means when no one is able to help you, neither the doctors, nor family or friends.

 

Only testimony of pain and suffering by people experiencing benzo withdrawal  provide comfort and hope. It's strange, I know...

 

 Many thanks for all your help, sharing this personal experience with all the buddies.

 

I wish you all the very best for the future

I am 12.5 months out now. I Do feel some progress but have still some horrible XS to deal with. Dr/dp and electric currents in my body. But i have noticed that my severe depression has lifted ALOT! I am not suicidal anymore. Afraid yes. But not for death or dying.