Thinking of Starting an AD

I am seven months off K tomorrow, which I quit cold turkey. The past few days, the depression has been even worse, and I'm losing hope. I am starting to think this isn't just quitting a benzo anymore. There are certain life changes that have occurred the past couple years, including having our first child, that I think are contributing to the depression a little. I have been going to therapy. I have been eating better. I have not had alcohol or caffeine. Nothing seems to be helping. It doesn't help that I only sleep well like ever two to three nights, I'm sure. I just feel desperate and at the end of my rope. I am running out of people to talk to about the depression with. It's been going on so long, basically for the past five months now.

 

I was thinking of getting the Genesight test done and giving another medication a try. I believe I was at least slightly depressed before the benzo as well.

There is no shame in trying it. Doing the genesight test is a great idea if you can. Make sure you read up thoroughly on whatever you try and start on a very small dose and titrate up. The fact that you don't have too many physical issues probably works in your favour as medication can make those worse.

 

I think you are aware of the risks and how many people have had issues with them, so as long as you are aware of that, you can make an informed decision, which is all we can ask for.

I think it's an excellent idea to try the Genesight test first!

I could just give the Genesight test a try and see what the results are. I could wait a while longer after the fact too, even a couple more months, just to see if there's any improvement. Honestly, I know I was dealing with anxiety before this and probably moderate depression. Looking back, if I were going to start a med, it should have been an AD. I know many people on this site are against starting more meds after or during benzo withdrawal, but the suffering has gone on for a long time now, and I'm basically only dealing with depression and insomnia at this point. I don't know. It's tough to know what to do or try. I don't want to be a lifelong pysch med person, but sometimes I wonder if I should be just to live life. I want my life back.

Why not start with the test, just to put your toe in the water? It won't hurt to have that in your back pocket if you ever need it.

 

What does your therapist say about your depression?

 

I feel that based on your posts you are significantly better than you were a few weeks ago ... that doesnt mean you are well or functioning at top speed, but it's a good sign. 

Have you regained any interest in your music? (have you pushed yourself to? not being critical, just a question)...i think it would be wonderful for you to have something fulfilling that you create (since you ARE very creative)

Yeah, I think I'm going to do it. Why not at this point?

 

I just keep rambling to my therapist about how I think the depression that I had got ten-fold worse since quitting the Klonopin. She sort of just listens. As I have listened to more of the Upward Spiral, I realize I had a lot of bad tendencies before the benzo, I just know I wasn't having these horrible thoughts about wanting to die before benzo. I just wake up so flat and with horrible thoughts in my head.

 

I haven't really gotten my interests back. I force myself to listen to music, but I never actually want to. Plus, I can't hear stuff that is sad right now. I just keep cycling through feeling like I'm getting a little better and then the depression hits hard and I never know why for sure. Haven't gotten back into writing songs at all since last fall.

 

I wonder if I can find any research behind the Gene test.

I kind of thinking same thing as profoundly depressed now.

The genesight test--  my drs not heard of.

Anyone know how to get them to look it up?  Is it covered by medicare?  I hear it is and phoned Medicare but they all need a code to look it up...?

 

Thx.