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Describe your anxiety


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I figured I would like to compare notes, because , my counselor keeps telling me I have to find the root of my anxiety . And I keep telling her that when makes me anxious are the symptoms that I experienced. For example, I just went for a long walk , by the river , is hot as hell here but nice and breezy. As I live my house I get this sensation of light head , like eyes are not focus , like a vague feeling of discomfort , I can't truly enjoy the walk because I feel like this ? Is this anxiety ? I seem not to be able to relax and just go with the flow. I listen to music , stretch , watch the different boats , but I am not enjoying it . This was the first symptom I ever had 2 and half years ago  after start using BP meds,I am only taking one now. Then for example at work , I get this rush on the head like is kind of an overwhelming feeling , that I have to do so many things and do them right, I never pass out or have panic or any other panic symptom. When I go out I also feel uncomfortable ,the noise, the people moving too fast ,the cars , and so on . So is this how anxiety feels to others, or am I just kind of anxious but not extremely anxious. How you cope if it is this way for you or if it is the drug w/d's just enhancing whatever is under . I have been asking my counselor for tools to combat my anxiety and she tells me that I have them all, positive thinking , relaxation, deep breathing techniques ,meditation , done them all . Any stories to share?
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Tino, I can relate to the lightheadedness and eyes not wanting to focus, and not being able to enjoy a walk as all I can think about is how awful I feel.  My anxiety feels like I'm going to jump out of my skin, my heart beats fast and I just feel like I'm on the edge of panic but don't get a real panic attack (probably cuz I'm still on almost 1 mg. Klon).  I also feel nauseous much of the time and who can have an appetite when they feel in fight-or-flight mode all the time?  There are moments when I think I can't stand the way I feel for one more minute.

 

I, too, have all the tools, but they just don't seem to work well during benzo withdrawal.  I think sometimes all we can do is endure.  Does your counselor realize that benzo withdrawal CAUSES anxiety?  I just find it interesting that he/she wants you to find the root of it when, in fact, whatever underlying anxiety you have (and I have plenty and have my whole life) is just made much worse by the benzos.  Does he/she think this is just your underlying stuff?  I feel much worse now than I felt when I was prescribed Klon back in 2004.  Were you put on yours for anxiety?  If so, then I think anxiety is going to be your worst sx coming off.  Best to you, Tino, ~~mbr

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Thanks for the reply MBR

I was put on it because of  a panic attack or so I though it was ,it happened the first week that I went on BP medication and also because I was stressed out at work and need a way to relax while there. Was this anxiety I asked myself or just a very stressful situation I had created in my mind?

I by no means come close to what you feel , I don't feel that extreme, I just feel terrible uncomfortable and tense, but never like I am going to pass out or panicky . That is all gone now. I think at the beginning of this benzo ride I felt like that since I was not upping the dose and I was withdrawing every day , so the feeling of the w/d's was making me anxious and irritable. Is all better now. My counselor  I think does not get the scope of what the w/d s do , so the last session I went trough it while withdrawing and she witness it . She is  very familiar with narcotics addicts and prescriptions dependancy , but again I will insist on more feedback and tools to work with the anxiety , I think I already told her the root of what caused it, my fear of getting sick and my experience with loved ones that battle different ailments  and me being  there taking care of them. So now, I think she has to make a decision on which course to take or pretty much think I am wasting my money. She has helped me with the depression I was feeling about a month or so ago, that deep depression is gone now. Wether she knows or not that benzo w/d causes more anxiety  ( I think she gets the picture now). She wants my focus on other things rather than on this taper, but I think this is the key element towards my recovery. She should be aware of it. She did tell me to go slow. :crazy:

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Yes, Tino, my therapist wants me to concentrate on things other than my taper, too, but I don't know how I can do that given the way I feel.  I did just make a 12-day trip to meet my new grandson, so I guess you could say I'm "getting on with my life" in spite of withdrawal.  But, I felt pretty lousy the whole time and was focused on that (along with my beautiful little boy) so it's hard to feel much progress there.

 

I'm so glad your counselor helped with your depression.  I'm curious about how she did that.  I can't seem to shake mine right now no matter what my therapist does/says and no matter how much I try to distract.  Best, ~~mbr

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I don't know exactly how it lifted , I was having pretty dark thoughts , but it did. I did not take the antidepressant that they put me on , I hated it , Wellbutrim , because it made me feel like you describe on how you feel about your anxiety . So I tried it for a week and that was it. NO more.

She did  a lot of talking and she made journal about what was positive about myself. I think the biggest component to the depressive thoughts was the end of my 12 year relationship in the most emotionally wrenching and exhausting way , so I think I really had a valid reason to be depressed, add to that the benzo and BP depression( chemical) and I  must be a pretty tough cookie to still be here, so I pad myself in the back. I tell you what lift me the most is the desire to be free of this med, and the promise to have a better life free of this and to recover some of who I was and move forward. There is still a lot of territory to cover and I am by no means emotionally healed, but time will tell. For now focusing my attention on my best friend( me) is the best thing I can do . I feel for you and I hope you can find a spark inside you that will return your happiness . We are creatures of the Universe and we have a right to be happy! ( I think I borrow this one from an old poem) :D

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I don't know exactly how it lifted , I was having pretty dark thoughts , but it did. I did not take the antidepressant that they put me on , I hated it , Wellbutrim , because it made me feel like you describe on how you feel about your anxiety . So I tried it for a week and that was it. NO more.

She did  a lot of taking and she made journal about what was positive about myself. I think the biggest component to the depressive thoughts was the end of my 12 year relationship in the most emotionally wrenching and exhausting way , so I think I really had a valid reason to be depressed, add to that the benzo and BP depression( chemical) and I  must be a pretty tough cookie to still be here, so I pad myself in the back. I tell you what lift me the most is the desire to be free of this med, and the promise to have a better life free of this and to recover some of who I was and move forward. There is still a lot of territory to cover and I am by no means emotionally healed, but time will tell. For now focusing my attention on my best friend( me) is the best thing I can do . I feel for you and I hope you can find a spark inside you that will return your happiness . We are creatures of the Universe and we have a right to be happy! ( I think I borrow this one from an old poem) :D

 

Tino, I'm so glad you're feeling somewhat better emotionally.  Yes, the end of a long-term relationship can sure throw you into the depths, for sure.  The chemical part just has to wait till we're off the meds.  Fingers crossed for both of us that we will heal quickly once that happens.  L., ~~mbr

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Some days my taper makes me feel so bad I can barely go.Panic is not as bad but everything in my body seems to be fighting against me.Tingling feelings ,heart  racing and dizzy.Just a mess.But I catch a break here and their, god if not I feel I might just lose it. I get weak moments also when I think if this keeps up I am giving up and going back to my xanax but almost two weeks and not turning back now.

If it was not so hot here I would get out and walk.But I work on Paint Shop Pro projects and spend time with my daughter and pets, anything is better than thinking  about it all the time. I have noticed I feel so sleepy now more than ever.Also losing lots of weight to much. Everyone I know that sees me asks me if I am sick.But I have a hyper thyroid in the mix of all this mess not a good thing.So your not alone.

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my counselor keeps telling me I have to find the root of my anxiety

 

One of the problems I've encountered with anxiety is that it seems to take form in many different ways. This makes finding the root very difficult (like a needle in a haystack). Has anyone been able to find the exact source of their anxiety and fix it? 

 

I have been searching for an anxiety cure my entire life. Talked to several psychologist, was a psych major in college, and have read many books on the subject. Still I don't have a clue how to 'fix' it. I'm starting to accept that it may just be part of who I am. If I can somehow learn to live with it and manage it maybe it wont be as bad...

 

 

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Jamie I wish someone would give me the answer to that ? also. Is  this part of who we are? Or did something somewhere trigger it?

It my case I think abuse from a spouse caused mine and other things along the years.. But it just showed up one day out of the blue and lead me to a land I never wanted to see benzos. Some say it can be heredity from our families. Who knows but I would like to know how to beat it. I do everything to try. Breath, think happy thoughts, walk and dance you name but some days It just shows up kinds like a unwanted visitor. I stopped researching it. I felt like I was a dog just chasing its tail, so many tells, so many diffrent stories who knows what the real facts are.

My one doctor even told me to stop reading stuff on the net. He sound kinda pissed when I told him about researching benzo withdrawals and needing help to get off them.

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Wow. Great question.  For me,it is like an ugent sense of complete panic and distress. I pace,cry,scream,beg God to help me,and usually end up in the ER ,o rin one instance, in the mental hospital. I did Bio-Feedback and Cognitive behavioral therapy. Was supposed to help me recognize my triggers and help understand where the anxiety was coming from anh how to avoid the full blown anxiety attacks.
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I pretty much just get nervous or paranoid about everythign like I want everything 100% guaranteed to be the right decision and to have a good outcome.  I get shaky around people sometimes.  It seems any time I make a change it takes a while to get through it.  My heart beats really fast and my breathing slows as I'm thinking any little problem is the end of the world.
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  • 1 month later...
My Anxiety I am experiencing is something I never had to endure before in my life until I was introduced to Benzos, well since I have came off them after 4 1/2 months on them I have shaking , anxiousness, tightness in the pit of my stomach muscles as if they are cutting off circulation, throat muscles tightning as if someone is choking me , nausea, weakness in legs and arms, depressed, pounding heart on times. Its really freaky and scarey , not sure if it will ever stop, its now been 9 weeks off benzos and its still happening , oh yeah the burning all over if you google anxiety symptoms one of those symptoms is burning sensation , and my tongue throbs . Its crazy!!!!!! Anyone still have anxiety symptoms after 2 months off, p.s. I never had anxiety ever like any of his before in my entire life!!!!!
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Helpme,

 

 

Two months of benzo healing is often described at the "early days"...it is generally thought that a normal course of healing is between six to twelve months.  I am not saying it will take that long for you...but that is a ballpark figure..and some heal much quicker...and others...take a bit longer...the key is we all heal...:)

 

TC

 

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Mine feels very physical.  Like not a mental source.  Body revved up and feels like adrenaline.  Get the adrenaline rush in the morning when I am waking up.   

Never felt like this before in my life.

Also.....small things become too magnified like I can't handle one more thing piled on top of benzo wd

Very weird for me as I can usually handle alot.

 

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[6e...]

My Anxiety comes in many forms, I'm not sure if anyone would want to be around me while having an attack, as it's unnerving.

I feel like I can't breath, I start to think that I'm having a physical problem, as I'm a "Hypochondriac" anyway, and during my anxiety, it hits me at best.

My Anxiety is like a fight or flight mode sometimes (especially after a cut.) I usually go into a Panic Attack if not distracted by something. The Panic Attack's feel like an Asthma Attack and a Heart Attack rolled into one.

I try to just tell myself it's only a Panic Attack, they don't kill you, but I still worry.

My Anxiety over all, I would say is just intense at times, like I'm going to explode, if that makes any sense.

I have ended up in the ER with bad anxiety, but only to get my heart checked for good measure and peace of mind, not for a shot of a Benzo, as I'm coming off one.

 

Keryn.

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Great thread - I'm getting good at the lingo here - I am glad to read of other's anxieties so I can hold mine up against them, and know that I am normal......  I did not have anxiety that I was aware of until I had a heart operation (defibrillator implantedd) in 1993.  After that my anxiety was very severe, shaking, crying, waking up screaming, etc.  Therefore I was put on xanax first and then I was hospitalized and put on K.  I weaned down over a year to .125 and that is where I have been since 1994.  I was fine, took it at night and worked every day, even went out looking for a new job and believe me the anxiety that my defibrillator caused me - I don't know how I did it.  But anyway, my life proceeded on well until 2008 when I was put on Neurontin for back pain for one year and when I tried to get off of it - major anxiety.  So major that I admitted myself to a psych ward because I thought I was going mad.  Screaming, tearing my hair, chest tightness, rapid heart rate (which in itself causes my anxiety to flare) body jerking, just horrid. They put me on 1.5 for 9 weeks and then I weaned off in 18 days down to .125.  Again, terrible anxiety - sweating, double vision, weakness in legs, as well as the above mentioned.  I was lucky enough to have a lengthy window and I thought I was cured - but the window slammed shut and now here I am again with the crying, shaking, body jerking and burning feet (new symptom), but even though it is bad, it does not seem to be as bad as the previous bout.  However, I still have to get off the .125 and I am scared to death what I will face.  Thanks for listening - this was longer than I intended.

i

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Do anyone still have anxiety 24-7 , the only time mine calms down is when I go to bed , is it common to have it ALL DAY LONG !!!! have anyone have that , I kniow it takes recovery 6 weeks + to recover but having anxiety all day log is freaking me out , it doesn't even feel like theres a window coming  :'(
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Yes, helpme123, I have high anxiety all day long.  No breaks.  Occasionally, I feel a bit better before bedtime.  Otherwise, it's one minute at a time...  L., ~~mbr
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Jamie I wish someone would give me the answer to that ? also. Is  this part of who we are? Or did something somewhere trigger it?

It my case I think abuse from a spouse caused mine and other things along the years.. But it just showed up one day out of the blue and lead me to a land I never wanted to see benzos. Some say it can be heredity from our families. Who knows but I would like to know how to beat it. I do everything to try. Breath, think happy thoughts, walk and dance you name but some days It just shows up kinds like a unwanted visitor. I stopped researching it. I felt like I was a dog just chasing its tail, so many tells, so many diffrent stories who knows what the real facts are.

My one doctor even told me to stop reading stuff on the net. He sound kinda pissed when I told him about researching benzo withdrawals and needing help to get off them.

 

Oh Blarg! How annoying. By all means (DWS ... dripping with sarcasm) don't educate yourself about things? Geez.

 

My anxiety feels like an adrenaline rush thru my chest and belly followed by burning and a sensation I will pass out.

 

There's the whole "It's your nervous system" thing ... your brain misfiring. I personally think benzos did me no favors. But I will say since ditching the benzos ... I don't have full blown panic attacks.

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Hi Squeegy,

 

For me, anxiety is racing thoughts with no rhyme or reason...there may be a reason behind them...like a late bill or someone done something wrong or whatever...but I just can't stop thinking about it and I get so nervous trying to figure out a way out of it.

 

Now, panic...just feels like something (don't know what) is bad wrong with me and I am going to die or pass out or something. I get a rush of adrenaline that give me goose bumps and cold all over like that feeling you get when you get caught doing something wrong or see someone get hurt really bad. I feel sick to my stomach and my throat closes up and I can't breath and my heart races and thumps and rolls over in my chest and then I get lightheaded and lay down until it's over.

 

Sucks. Thankfully this hasn't happened for a long time ;)

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A feeling of loss of control and completely overwhelmed with no way to escape and no rational thought processed to conquer it.....along with hearts palps, trouble breathing with tight throat, sweating or chills, abdominal flutters/distress, tight chest, fogginess, lightheadedness along with weak legs.  Thinking that maybe jumping off a rooftop would cause pain so as to alleviate the anxiety.  That is my interpretation.

 

Patty  xo

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A feeling of loss of control and completely overwhelmed with no way to escape and no rational thought processed to conquer it.....along with hearts palps, trouble breathing with tight throat, sweating or chills, abdominal flutters/distress, tight chest, fogginess, lightheadedness along with weak legs.  Thinking that maybe jumping off a rooftop would cause pain so as to alleviate the anxiety.  That is my interpretation.

 

Patty  xo

 

yes ... or waiting for the 'Toons from Toontown to drop a piano on me .... *looking up at the sky* All who framed roger rabbit style

 

    Dolores: A toon killed his brother.

    Angelo: What?

    Dolores: Dropped a piano on his head.

 

 

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Has anyones anxiety gone for good is my question after being off benzos fot=r awhile or its something we will have to endure now for the rest off our lives ?
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Has anyones anxiety gone for good is my question after being off benzos fot=r awhile or its something we will have to endure now for the rest off our lives ?

 

Mine has become manageable through distraction. My anxiety might not be what others experience because I didn't experience debilitating anxiety till roughly 3 years ago, because of a medical condition.  In other words, debilitating anxiety was not my norm.

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