Can I be that messed up with such a low dosage?

I work 12 hr rotating shiftwork with a job with a lot of responsibilities.  I also suffer from migraines. It got more stressful at work and sleep was not as good and my migraines became more often.  I thought if I get more sleep maybe the migraines will be less.  So I got a prescription of 0.5mg lorazepam from my doc.  It worked well for about 2 months (only taking it when I worked dayshift).  Then I got more anxious at work so I started taking it at work. I guess it would be 0.5 to 1.0mg every other day or so that I would take in total.  In March, about 3 months after I started taking it I got 3 sleepless nights in a row.  So I started taking 1.0mg to sleep most of my dayshifts + the occasional 0.5 at work.  My sleep eventually got worst.  My anxiety just kept increasing too.  My wife noticed that my behaviour and symptoms changed not long after I started taking it.  So in August 2018 I C/T without knowing that I was supposed to taper because my doc never told me about the dangers of those pills.  For the past 2 + months I have been so messed up.  My anxiety is through the roof.  At work I'm a mess because I'm so stressed out.  I've been experiencing panic attacks.  I can't concentrate because all I think about is my anxiety. My eye won't stop twitching.  My back and shoulder muscles always feel so weak.  I have tremors.  I keep thinking I'm gonna lose everything because I don't know how long I can work like this.  I asked my doc if it could be withdrawals.  She said that I shouldn't have more than 2 to 3 weeks of them and prescribed me Pristiq (desvenlafaxine) within minutes.  I still haven't taken it because I don't actually feel depressed just that I'm extra anxious.

I guess this is a multi part question.  Is this benzo withdrawal that I'm experiencing? Can I be this messed up with the dose I took?  If so, will the meds help?

I does sound like you are going through withdrawal.  Doctors often think withdrawal only lasts a few weeks and for some that is true, but for many others, it lasts weeks, months, even years.  1mg of lorazepam is really not really that low of a dose, but what I have seen is that dependency can happen on any dose, if someone takes it long enough. 

 

I would be wary of adding in a new drug while still trying going through withdrawal from the benzo.  Since it has been already two months since you stopped I am wary to advise going back to the drug.  However, sometimes, if functioning is very difficult, people do find benefit from reinstating at a low dose, and stabilizing.  And then proceeding with a slow taper. 

Yes, it is withdrawal.  But you've been 2 months off already, so maybe at this point it would be best to just try to ride it out, without addition of other meds.  With each passing week you will get better, including the anxiety and the eye twitch.  I would just give it time. 

Waterboy,

I’m just touching base, in hopes you might be checking in on this thread-how are you doing?

We’re all pulling for you!

I am experiencing many of the same challenges as you are with anxiety through the roof.  I do truly empathize with you on that. And it’s difficult when family members are noticing the changes.

 

Please let us know how you are when you get a chance. These boards are a lifeline for so many.

Take care, you can do this!

ForestDweller

Yes you can

Your dosage doesn’t matter some people can take the same dosage as you take and cold turkey off of it and don’t feel any withrawal but some people might take even a lower dosage and mess them up really bad when it comes to drugs it’s not so much about your dosage it’s about your threshold you might have a lower threshold for these kinda drugs compared to some people and creat dependency faster than them to the drug which led to withrawal

I didn’t know any better when I CT off of them

 

 

Well, after a solid 2 months of extreme anxiety along with a bunch of other symptoms I've been going through a nice window for the passed 4 days.  I can kinda control the anxiety to some degree.  My muscles are a lot more relaxed and not twitching as much.  I'm hardly shaking.  I've been sleeping almost full nights.  Even on my last dayshifts I managed to fall asleep and get 4-5 hours.  One thing that I've done since the last time I've been here is cut caffeine completely and sugar to a fraction of what I used to eat.  This might've helped I guess.  I went to see a massage therapist as well.  My wife has told me that she was really happy to see me smile and laugh this week.  Now I don't know how long this is gonna last but I'm enjoying every single second of it.

I just wanna mention that there is one symptom that has gotten worst and it's my memory.  I find I'm having a lot more trouble with remembering, even little things.  I often find myself asking "Now why did I come here again?" and then I remember once I get back to the location where I was before.  Having a lot of problem with names as well.

I just wanna mention that there is one symptom that has gotten worst and it's my memory.  I find I'm having a lot more trouble with remembering, even little things.  I often find myself asking "Now why did I come here again?" and then I remember once I get back to the location where I was before.  Having a lot of problem with names as well.

 

 

Yes having problems with memory in withrawal it’s really normal if you already off the drug completely it is starting to get better this is all withrawal and you might start having problems with recalling words which is normal too don’t worry

I read the symptoms can be wavelike.  After a few days of hardly any symptoms I went back to anxiety and insomnia this weekend.  I feel kinda depressed too.  Just to be reassured, this is normal, right?  To have days of almost feeling high because you feel like yourself and then crash and go into a really dark place a couple of days later is normal?  Also, my psychotherapist has given me a note for a month off of work, should I take it?  Could it make things worst to stop working or should I take the time off and try to recharge my batteries? 

I read the symptoms can be wavelike.  After a few days of hardly any symptoms I went back to anxiety and insomnia this weekend.  I feel kinda depressed too.  Just to be reassured, this is normal, right?  To have days of almost feeling high because you feel like yourself and then crash and go into a really dark place a couple of days later is normal?  Also, my psychotherapist has given me a note for a month off of work, should I take it?  Could it make things worst to stop working or should I take the time off and try to recharge my batteries?

 

I would take the time off and recharge.  Yes, the symptoms are wavelike, and when we are riding high feeling well, we think we're invincible.  Not so.  We need to be careful even when we're feeling well and not overdo it.  Recharging and avoiding stress is the best thing you can do for yourself right now, and it sounds like you have the perfect opportunity to do it.  Best wishes to you.

Your symptoms are totally normal for BWD.

Please do NOT add yet another drug into that mix! Doing so may prolong your misery! Antidepreessants work on the brain, and so do benzos. You must give your tired brain time to recover from benzos. This may mean some sleepless nights but trust me, it is worth it.

 

Just curious: what kind of work do you do??? I was an RN for 30 years and that is how I "discovered" benzos. They were not counted back then. Everyone dipped into the med carts of benzos and other drugs. Nurses tend to think they know it all. HA! We do not. 30 years later I paid an enormous price for my using those daggone benzos every single night. I had wicked insomnia, ever since I was a child. Benzos fixed that but at such a huge cost I still cant believe it.

 

I became depressed while on benzos. as I didnt know about tolerance withdrawal. This was NOT public or even medical knowledge then or even now! I started on antidepressants. They did not help. Only made me feel worse.I began to have tremendously weird neurological symptoms and sought medical help. I was diagnosed with just about everything you can imagine.

 

I had NONE of those things. The only thing I need to do was get OFF benzos and OFF AD's. Once I did, my old self came back, and my depression vanished along with a host of weird symptoms I used to have.

 

Benzos are so insidious. They sneak up on you. Causing temporary brain damage which affects every single part of you...and you are unaware this is all going on.

east

You got this!!!!!!

You have already come so far!

Your symptoms are totally normal for BWD.

Please do NOT add yet another drug into that mix! Doing so may prolong your misery! Antidepreessants work on the brain, and so do benzos. You must give your tired brain time to recover from benzos. This may mean some sleepless nights but trust me, it is worth it.

 

Just curious: what kind of work do you do??? I was an RN for 30 years and that is how I "discovered" benzos. They were not counted back then. Everyone dipped into the med carts of benzos and other drugs. Nurses tend to think they know it all. HA! We do not. 30 years later I paid an enormous price for my using those daggone benzos every single night. I had wicked insomnia, ever since I was a child. Benzos fixed that but at such a huge cost I still cant believe it.

 

I became depressed while on benzos. as I didnt know about tolerance withdrawal. This was NOT public or even medical knowledge then or even now! I started on antidepressants. They did not help. Only made me feel worse.I began to have tremendously weird neurological symptoms and sought medical help. I was diagnosed with just about everything you can imagine.

 

I had NONE of those things. The only thing I need to do was get OFF benzos and OFF AD's. Once I did, my old self came back, and my depression vanished along with a host of weird symptoms I used to have.

 

Benzos are so insidious. They sneak up on you. Causing temporary brain damage which affects every single part of you...and you are unaware this is all going on.

east

 

I work at a drinking water treatment facility for a pretty big city. When im on duty im in charge of pretty much everything.  It can get pretty stressful. My supervisor has been pretty understanding.  Im going on sick leave for a month.  Now im just worried about what happens if i still feel like this after. Does it mean that it wasnt the pills?  Does it mean that im at a real deep stage of general anxiety and will need more medication?  I started seeing a psychotherapist when i started, what i now suspect was tolerance symptoms in around April. I hope she can help me deal with all of this.  It has been hard to implement her techniques as i have been in such a panic state for the last 10 weeks.

Now the waterboy user name makes sense, thought you were just an Adam Sandler fan.

Unfortunately, some people just DO take longer to heal when they go off benzos. No one knows why this is but I know it happens a lot. I have been on this site for 6 years now, and have "met" many many people who didnt use a whole lot of benzos but had a terrifically awful WD.

 

You sound like an intelligent person. Can you try to start learning what is actually causing your symptoms? There are several wonderful, non-technical articles here on BB that can help you understand this stuff. I will gladly help you find them if need be. Having even a basic idea of what causes all those symptoms is priceless.

 

Now. To make it VERY simply: benzos work on your brain. That is how they work. The benzo chemicals go into your amygdala and make that part of your brain feel less fearful, anxious. You can relax enough to sleep, work, etc. Over time, however, benzos are addictive. Your braiin then needs benzos to "feel normal." So - you take yet another damn pill.

 

When someone goes off benzos either abruptly or gradually, withdrawal symptoms can occur. Many of WD symptoms are because the amygdala has been upset. The amygdala controls your basic FEAR (anxiety) responses to things. The rest of your brain is also affected, but it seems the amygdala plays somehow a bigger role in BWD symptoms.

 

Your job does sound stressful. There is no guarantee you will feel better in one month, I am sorry to say. I do hope you are one of the lucky ones whose WD goes quickly. All you can do at this point is to take care of yourself. Deal with your symptoms, rest, and take care of yourself.  Once that month is done you may have to make new decisions, based on how you feel. Whatever you do: put yourself FIRST for a while. BWD is nothing to sneeze at - it can be a very serious business, and getting through it should be your priority.

hugs to you,

east

I just wanna mention that there is one symptom that has gotten worst and it's my memory.  I find I'm having a lot more trouble with remembering, even little things.  I often find myself asking "Now why did I come here again?" and then I remember once I get back to the location where I was before.  Having a lot of problem with names as well.

 

Lorrrrrd... do I feel your pain 💯

I have been on sick leave for a month now and returning soon. My memory seems to be better now. My brain fog as well.  The one thing that is just as strong is my anxiety.  I am so worried of going back to work and messing up and end up losing my job and all that i have ever worked for. Thats all i can think about.  My sleep had gotten better but now i wake up around 4 am and im just overwhelmed with anxiety and cannot go back to sleep.  At least i can fall asleep at around midnight now but cant get a full night of sleep.  Im begining to think that i have mental issues now.  Less and less i believe its from the withdrawal.  I dont know how long ill be able to keep going on with this anxiety.  I feel im a burden on everyone, especially my wife.  Shes so good to me and always trying to help me but im afraid that she might get fed up someday.  Im not saying i wanna kill myself but i feel that dying would be a blessing just so i dont have feel this constant intense anxiety. I just dont know what to do.  Im sorry if i sound like a little whiner but I just have to let it out somehow.

Hi dear :-)

Yes it is withdrawal for sure . I was only one week on 5 mg valium evry night had mild withdrawal. Had  ginecologic procedure with anesthesia was done with benzodiazepine and 2 days after I was in Hell . This is called " kindling" . If you are in withdrawal and take a single dosage  of benzo the withdrawal will become worst . Don't do this mistake ever . 

And please do not ad antidepresant , it is as hard to come off as benzos . You have to go through this hell  without adding other drugs that affect cns . Those only will mess up everything . The brain need to find homeostasis .

It is 7 months off benzo now and I am feeling  much better . Some minor waves but I can handle . 

Keep fighting  !!!  Big hugs