Slowly drifting into high despair

I don’t know if I can call this depression.

I’ve just became totally numb to everything. If I ever feel something it is dreadful and totally out of what I ever felt in my life. Even anxiety doesn’t provoke something in my gut anymore. I don’t even want to cry.

I woke up like that after an OK day but this time it’s just too much. I think it’s coming from too much days of DP/DR

The strange thing is that i’m perfectly functional and I can fake it pretty well. But inside it is completely blank.

I know it’s probably withdrawal but how can someone can come back from this without major sequels ?

It’s really scary.

I am in the exact spot as you. I am physically capable of doing things that I used to do but feel little to no connection with my surroundings while doing them. Nobody can tell how I feel just by looking at me. I have basically no emotions. I have non-stop DR/DP where I feel my vision is blurry and perceptions about my surroundings are all screwed up. I feel depressed, I have little to no joy toward anything, and constant looping thoughts. I get really panicked sometimes like I'm headed towards moments of psychosis. The problem is I'm 6.5 months off Klonopin.  Haven't noticed many tangible signs of improvement. Lately, I'm even getting numb spots in my legs and my calves feel really weak.

I am in the exact spot as you. I am physically capable of doing things that I used to do but feel little to no connection with my surroundings while doing them. Nobody can tell how I feel just by looking at me. I have basically no emotions. I have non-stop DR/DP where I feel my vision is blurry and perceptions about my surroundings are all screwed up. I feel depressed, I have little to no joy toward anything, and constant looping thoughts. I get really panicked sometimes like I'm headed towards moments of psychosis. The problem is I'm 6.5 months off Klonopin.  Haven't noticed many tangible signs of improvement. Lately, I'm even getting numb spots in my legs and my calves feel really weak.

 

Hey thanks for responding!

I’m 22 days off a very short usage of Xanax and Paxil (7 for Xanax, 6 for paxil) then tapered quickly with 3 days of Rivotril, in total 10 days of psych meds for calming severe anxiety.

Through this board i’ve understood that it can takes some time, I just can’t get my head around how being on these pills for 10 days put me in such a bad shape. The outcome looks without hope, i just repeat myself that it will take time.

 

Looks like 6,5 months is also a rather short time for WD depending on the dose you were so you might be looking for hanging on for some week or months, i’m sure you will get there !

I don’t know if I can call this depression.

I’ve just became totally numb to everything. If I ever feel something it is dreadful and totally out of what I ever felt in my life. Even anxiety doesn’t provoke something in my gut anymore. I don’t even want to cry.

I woke up like that after an OK day but this time it’s just too much. I think it’s coming from too much days of DP/DR

The strange thing is that i’m perfectly functional and I can fake it pretty well. But inside it is completely blank.

I know it’s probably withdrawal but how can someone can come back from this without major sequels ?

It’s really scary.

 

I feel for you. Our story sounds pretty similar, short term benzo user= long term nightmare for me that is  I have all the same symptoms  :'( you are great for being able to continue with life! I can’t even leave my house. How are your symptoms now? Mine fluctuates sadly. Have Speedy recovery 

I don’t know if I can call this depression.

I’ve just became totally numb to everything. If I ever feel something it is dreadful and totally out of what I ever felt in my life. Even anxiety doesn’t provoke something in my gut anymore. I don’t even want to cry.

I woke up like that after an OK day but this time it’s just too much. I think it’s coming from too much days of DP/DR

The strange thing is that i’m perfectly functional and I can fake it pretty well. But inside it is completely blank.

I know it’s probably withdrawal but how can someone can come back from this without major sequels ?

It’s really scary.

 

I feel for you. Our story sounds pretty similar, short term benzo user= long term nightmare for me that is  I have all the same symptoms  :'( you are great for being able to continue with life! I can’t even leave my house. How are your symptoms now? Mine fluctuates sadly. Have Speedy recovery 

 

It’s difficult to say. I’ve been off my last dose since 1 month and all the heaviest symptoms almost subsided. The remaining stuff and most difficult to deal with are mental symptoms like brain fog, dp/dr, not feeling myself, unable to enjoy things I like, anxiety... I think it also eases a little  in some ways with time but it’s still there, especially in the morning. I can sleep but mornings are the worse in terms of sxs.

It helps greatly to go out and do stuff. It stimulates your brain to have even simple interaction. In my case I can almost fake it 100% but inside it’s still a big struggle, it’s super strange being able to appear like nothing is happening while living in another world inside. Trying to work on your thoughts and rationalize the situation by telling yourself that your healing. Easier said than done but you only have your mind to work through this now.

Hang on in there !

I'm right there with you amuseum. I am nearing seven months off now. I just feel like I fake it through social situations and nobody can really tell I'm struggling on the inside. I continue to put myself in those social situations though. The only people who know of my mental struggle are those I have told. Like you, I have DP/DR, depression, anhedonia, intrusive thoughts, some anxiety, and the most prominent, not feeling like myself anymore. Really rough to be going through this after seven months when I took a small dose of K for about 2 1/2 months. My symptoms usually feel the worst in the morning too.

I'm right there with you amuseum. I am nearing seven months off now. I just feel like I fake it through social situations and nobody can really tell I'm struggling on the inside. I continue to put myself in those social situations though. The only people who know of my mental struggle are those I have told. Like you, I have DP/DR, depression, anhedonia, intrusive thoughts, some anxiety, and the most prominent, not feeling like myself anymore. Really rough to be going through this after seven months when I took a small dose of K for about 2 1/2 months. My symptoms usually feel the worst in the morning too.

 

When did your physical sxs faded since your last dose ?

Haven't really had many physical symptoms. Recently, I've had some weak legs and some calf cramping/pain, but that's been better the past few days. My symptoms have mostly been mental.