Author Topic: I'm LOSING IT! I'm really losing it I think  (Read 2617 times)

[Buddie]

Re: I'm LOSING IT! I'm really losing it I think
« Reply #10 on: June 23, 2010, 11:35:05 pm »
K,
How are you doing?   sorry to hijack your topic with a bunch of medical stuff.  I was just trying to give you some ideas if you wanted to look at testing.  I really hope you are doing well!   things will get better.   Those feelings are so terrifying but you will make it though. :)
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: I'm LOSING IT! I'm really losing it I think
« Reply #11 on: June 24, 2010, 01:14:39 am »
Melissa -
I appreciate that you are concerned and y'all were trying to help.  But in all honesty much of what was said about testing only increased my anxiety.  I guess what I was really looking for (and maybe should have stated this more clearly) were individuals who were experiencing the same thing, how they were coping, how these symptoms might be present in their benzo withdrawal, tips on dealing with it...reassurance essentially.

I really appreciated you input [...].  You mentioned something about being sorry for being so tough, but honestly, I think that is what I need to hear.  It helps to have a definitive assertive voice saying THIS IS WITHDRAWAL YOU CAN GET THROUGH IT.  It is validating to hear that yes, it does suck tremendously and it is very very very scary and it doesn't feel like "just withdrawal".  I want to accept that it is withdrawal, but I don't know how to do that yet.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: I'm LOSING IT! I'm really losing it I think
« Reply #12 on: June 24, 2010, 01:32:17 am »
I've bee suffering from horrid anxiety ever since I began going into tolerance w/d many months ago now, and it does truly suck!  You are not alone; so many members tapering or post taper still get walloped with anxiety.  It will take our CNS some time to heal and to be able to regulate our fight or flight responses again.  We all heal at different speeds just like our tapers, so just hang in there and know that one day you will not feel this way anymore.  I hope that day comes soon for all of us.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: I'm LOSING IT! I'm really losing it I think
« Reply #13 on: June 24, 2010, 01:35:19 am »
Sorry for stressing you out.   This whole benzo anxiety business is the pits but you will get better.   We all will.  It's just such a long process to go through.
I hope you have a better day tomorrow :)
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: I'm LOSING IT! I'm really losing it I think
« Reply #14 on: June 24, 2010, 06:00:15 am »
cortisol can be blocked with 7-oh-dhea or 7 keto dhea 7 oh is better cortisol can cloud the mind cause stress the fight or flight response learned helplessness it plays a number of roles on the human psyche.
i don't know what benefit in regards to allieviating anxiety regulating cortisol plays so i'm not suggesting that you spend a ton of $$$ on supplements.
i went through klono hell too there's no way around it if you are pregnant i'm sorry to hear that you are in that predicament.
i can't offer medical advice and sadly doctors are sometimes arrogant and won't give you a fair hearing.
it's a bitch, try the free clinics exhaust all the available resources at your disposal.
some things you can try are kava kava and valerian extracts both work on gaba like benzos but really don't hold a candle to klonopin so don't expect complete relief also consult with a physician or call a pharmacist  before trying any of this while pregnant.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: I'm LOSING IT! I'm really losing it I think
« Reply #15 on: June 24, 2010, 07:42:37 am »
Hi KEHP38
I just read your initial post on this thread.  Its almost an exact description of how I felt late 2008 after a quick start to my taper from Clonazepam.   For that reason I'm with [...], I believe what you are experiencing is totally benzo withdrawal.  You definitely don't need to get the psych drs involved IMO - what will they do - put you on more medication, probably suggest reinstating benzos.  Not an option as you are pregnant. 

I can truly understand how you are feeling right now.  The irrational fear that something is wrong still gets into my head occasionally now, even at nearly nine months off.   Acceptance that this is what benzo withdrawal can do to us will help win the battle.  Constantly re-assuring yourself that there is nothing else wrong - it is benzo withdrawal.  And although it's a nightmare, it will slowly get better.  Windows will appear and when they do, use that time to enjoy your little one or do something special for yourself.  Somehow we draw on an inner strength most of us probably never knew we had to get through.  You will do this, benzo withdrawal is not easy but it can be done.   As [...] suggested read the list of symptoms in the Ashton Manual - I did this right through my taper when I was convinced there was something seriously wrong.  When I checked the symptoms were on the list, it gave me the re-assurance I was desperately needing.  You will find all the symptoms you listed are on "the list". 

Take care.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: I'm LOSING IT! I'm really losing it I think
« Reply #16 on: June 24, 2010, 08:34:01 am »
What you are describing is so Benzo WD from a very fast taper. I know how you feel I just found out i'm pregnant too and need to quit me taper a little early. So everything turned out ok with the baby from stoping the K cause you were on it before you new u were pregnant. Theres many things you can try for your anxiety that work for me try thinking positive thoughts and slow deep breaths.  Taking your mind off the anxiety and focus on somthing else like watch TV or somthing. I'm sorry your feelng so badly it's absolutly miserable. Hang in there sweetie it'll pass I promise  :)
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: I'm LOSING IT! I'm really losing it I think
« Reply #17 on: June 25, 2010, 05:32:20 am »
I am feeling worse than ever recently.  I think I am going to pass out, have a seizure, or go completely insane.  I am not functioning. I can't do anything except pace around my house. I feel nauseous, dizzy, lightheaded, my entire body is shaking/quivering/trembling (sometimes visibly, sometimes I just feel it) my heart is racing, chest pains, icy/hot adrenaline rushes, shortness of breath, severe weakness in my limbs, I'm thirsty no matter what I drink/eat.  I can't focus on anything, I can't read, watch TV.  I think this is a health problem.  I think something is going on with adrenaline problems, or blood sugar problems.  My anxiety had improved the past 1.5-2 weeks overall, until this started yesterday.  I cannot keep going like this, absolutely cannot.  My daughter is at my mother in laws today, but she is coming back this evening and I feel that I cannot care for her as I am not functioning.  I'm scared and frustrated. I need someone to find out what is wrong and fix it, this has to stop.
To be honest, I want it to stop so bad I am feeling like I want to take benzos but I am scared because I don't want things to get any worse.  (I can't anyways because I am pregnant).
I think I need to be in a psych department or something.  This is not ok.

Your not going insane! It's benzo wd with pregnancy added into the mix which is probably aggravating the symptoms. Your hormones ARE going insane. That's actually how I got into psych meds. When I got pregnant anxiety started, panic attacks and depression following. After I had my daughter I started this awful medication and taper process. If I'd known then what would happen I would have rode out the problems until my hormones settled.
Try meditating, deep breathing, massages, chamomile, yoga etc. You can handle it naturally. It takes time, patience, determination and most importantly the knowledge that it WILL get better and that your not insane.
Hope you feel better soon
Amanda
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: I'm LOSING IT! I'm really losing it I think
« Reply #18 on: June 29, 2010, 04:41:16 am »
Like everyone said already, cortisol is a stress hormone.  It kicks up to an elevated state when you start your morning off to help you cope with stress, be it getting to work making sure you're not late, getting stuck in traffic, someone cutting you off, that sort of stuff.  As the day winds down, your cortisol levels drop to less than half.  That way, you prepare your body to relax, wind down, and finally get some sleep.  Supposedly. 

When you're on benzos, the drug messes with your flight or fight stress mechanisms and along with that your adrenal glands.  Therefore your body won't be able to tell when you're supposed to be stressed out or not or what particular time of day it is so it remains wired all day and night.  Hence, the insomnia for nearly all of us on benzos.  I know this because this was one of the many barrage of tests they did on me.  There's a morning cortisol level test and an evening cortisol level test.  The high range is at 16.5 I believe.  When my morning level was taken, it was at 18.83.  When it was taken in the evening, again, keeping in mind it's supposed to go down to less than half, mine only went down to 18.63.  Not a whole lot.  That should give you an idea of what this drug is capable of doing to your body's system of checks and balances.  Believe me, I was wired to the hilt and could not sleep.

As for a cortisol test.  If yours come back still relatively high for the evening cortisol test, ask to do a decadron suppression test.  They give you a little pill that you take in the evening and then you get tested in the morning.  Your cortisol levels should be down as a result.  This tells you everything is normal.  If not, something else is in play, but it should go down.  It's staying up there because you're stressed, and you're stressed because the drug is wreaking havoc on your adrenal system giving you a steady dump regardless if you're threatened or not, that's why you're having attacks that are not caused by you but BY THE DRUG.  Just as an added info though, do not ask for a prescription of the decadron drug to help you cope with the cortisol as that comes with its own set of problems.  It's only meant to test the suppression of your cortisol levels.  Let your body fight the good fight on its own with the cortisol and know that your body will battle it out with the drug on the road to get better.

Hope this info helps.

[...]
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.