6 months off Valium, feeling 100% healed.

Hi BB

 

I never thought I'd be one of those writing a success story. Lack of faith in myself perhaps, or just the general hopelessness of benzo addiction and worry about withdrawal and tapering.

 

It'll be 6 months on Wednesday since I finished my taper from Valium - that last 1mg half pill, I can still remember the fear but also the determination I felt at that time. My slow taper definitely helped. Sure it was bumpy at times but nothing compared to when I'd tried to cold turkey on previous occasions or tapered too rapidly.

 

I can't remember the last time I had a wave - maybe 4 months ago. These days I go whole weeks without even thinking about the hell I went through with benzos, it's my girlfriend who tends to remind me on the 26th of each month. I don't think I'd have been able to do it without her support. Having someone to share my thoughts and feelings with rather than trying to cope in secret has made all the difference.

 

I'm sleeping well, eating well and getting lots of exercise. Work is good, relationships good and my whole outlook is generally positive.

 

I just want to send love and encouragement to anyone going through a bad time getting off these awful drugs - hang in there, you can do it. Your life will come back to you, your world will contain colour and hope again.

Congrats on feeling better Cat! It seems you had a rather easy withdrawal and I am so happy for you and wish you continued success. What were your worst symptoms and how long did it last?

Hi PG - thanks for your message.

 

Worst symptoms? That awful feeling of a wave when your soul evaporates into thin air and there's no hope, just fear and misery. I'd have one or two a day at the beginning but then after a month or so I'd go a whole day without one and then it slowly improved from there. Usually they'd last 2-3 hours, occasionally twice that. Also, insomnia. I had quite a few sleepless nights but sleep returned to normal within 3 months of jumping.

Thanks for posting your story. It helps us all so much.

 

I'm one month out but still not fully recovered. When I have my waves I feel hopeless and think this is maybe going to be me and my life for ever. Did you find your symptoms smoother or more weak after one month of jumping? Like they do exist but not as a strong as before? Just want to see if this is a part of the progress or just me getting used to the hell I went and am going through. And if yes you did feel they symptoms getting less severe how did the pattern change after this? Were they less frequent in the following months? And did you ever get hit by strong waves as the ones you had during the taper and just after your jump? These are the thing bothering me nowadays. I hope it does get better everyday.

 

I hope I can post my success story here one day...

 

Thanks again.

Hi Survivor

 

Well done on your jump - hang in there!

 

I guess looking back I can see that my progress was linear, I didn't have the sense of one step forward then two steps back. As the waves became less frequent, each time I experienced one my first thought was "oh God no, I'm right back where I started." I had to remind myself that I hadn't had one for a few days whereas previously they were a daily or twice daily occurrence.

 

Something that helped me during a window was reminding myself "OK, you've been here before, you've experienced this feeling before and it didn't kill you, it will pass." I would go upstairs, lie down, take deep breaths in through my nose and exhale slowly through my mouth.

 

I have found BB to be a great resource, a wonderful help knowing that I wasn't alone. Having said that, I had to wean myself off reading too many horror stories and sticking to more informational posts. I hope that doesn't sound callous or selfish, it's just that I was scaring myself to death. I really do feel for people having a terrible time, especially when withdrawal symptoms can last so long.

 

Good luck to you, Survivor. I'll be rooting for you, you can do it. A whole month is a great achievement.

Hi Survivor

 

Well done on your jump - hang in there!

 

I guess looking back I can see that my progress was linear, I didn't have the sense of one step forward then two steps back. As the waves became less frequent, each time I experienced one my first thought was "oh God no, I'm right back where I started." I had to remind myself that I hadn't had one for a few days whereas previously they were a daily or twice daily occurrence.

 

Something that helped me during a window was reminding myself "OK, you've been here before, you've experienced this feeling before and it didn't kill you, it will pass." I would go upstairs, lie down, take deep breaths in through my nose and exhale slowly through my mouth.

 

I have found BB to be a great resource, a wonderful help knowing that I wasn't alone. Having said that, I had to wean myself off reading too many horror stories and sticking to more informational posts. I hope that doesn't sound callous or selfish, it's just that I was scaring myself to death. I really do feel for people having a terrible time, especially when withdrawal symptoms can last so long.

 

Good luck to you, Survivor. I'll be rooting for you, you can do it. A whole month is a great achievement.

 

Thanks a lot Catweazle

 

Thanks for explaining these

Sorry if I reminded you the past. You were right to not come on here as much as before and I think it's time for you to go and enjoy your life without looking back. I guess we should pay more attention to ourselves more than before when we get out of this horrific brutal benzo roller coaster. So there is nothing wrong with being selfish when it comes to your health.

 

Thanks for coming back and giving us hope.

 

 

Congrats on the 6 months! This is such a difficult journey and anybody who can make it off benzos that long has made a huge accomplishment. Thank you for writing your story because it gives me hope, which is something I always need more of. I'm on 5mg of Valium after being on it for about 3 1/2 years. It feels good to be at the tail end of this nightmare but it's also getting much more difficult. I'm pretty optimistic because my taper has been relatively smooth up till this point, so I don't think I'm one of the cases that will take a super long time to heal. It's really encouraging to hear that after 6 months it's possible to be doing pretty well and almost completely healed. Again thanks for coming back and sharing your experience because it really does mean a lot to us who are still in the middle of the struggle.

Congratulations it’s great to read a success story thanks for sharing

Congratulations

Thank you for this  message of hope Catweazle.

Thank you for this, and congratulations!

 

Gwinna

Hi Cat, Thank you for your story. I'm also trying to get off valium. I'm thankfully doing better on 5mg.  I don't know how slow to taper. I've done this before and think I did it too quickly. Stopped at 2.5 mg and I failed because the anxiety was too much too handle. Can you tell me how slow you tapered. When did you decrease your dosage etc? thanks.

Thank you. I needed this today! 

Well done, Catweazle, and thanks for giving us Hope.

That was a great post Catweazle, you sound so full of life and happy.  We all need to hear those stories.  Thanks so much for coming on and telling us.  Tell your girlfriend, good job!!  Keep us posted.

Mary ☮️💜🙏

Congrats!!!! That’s amazing how quickly you healed. I will enter Month 6 in January and I am praying since I am in a bad wave that this is my body’s way of pushing itself to finally be healed. 🙏🏽