KROCK....The Sucess Story I never wrote......

I know many of you are down and depressed around the Holidays. And i know a lot of you get sick of hearing to be patient about the healing process. I sure the hell did when i was in withdrawl. Many of times i thought i was screwed forever. But people kept reminding me on this site that everything is going to be ok. That healing is REAL and to wait it out. Lets face it...we have no choice if we want our normal life back. So i waited it out and believed in their words. And what do know....i got better and recovered. So will you!!!

 

The year 2020 is going to be a good year for many of you. You will see great progress. Please stay positive!! I know its HARD!! Make sure your New Years resolution is to NEVER quit or give up on yourself. The fight is worth fighting. If i can do it...  so can you. Please believe and push forward!! You have a great life ahead of you. If it wasnt true i would tell you.

How long did it take for You to recover ?

That was such a inspiring and true post you just made J

I think it’s amazing to see you here now being the one with so much encouragement and strength!

So many are new here and do not know you from when you were struggling with so much pain and fear

 

You have become a true source of light and I’m really happy for you and proud of you for coming through this and never forgetting the people here!

 

Your the Best Ever!!!! ❤️

KRock, this is inspiring. Maybe, one day, I will post my success story?

always good

KRock, this is inspiring. Maybe, one day, I will post my success story?

 

Your success story WILL come! Promise! If i can make it....so can you! Theres nothing special about me. Im just a ordinary person like everyone else on here. The fight doesn't come without reward! You got this! Please believe in yourself and the process!! The pain and suffering does end!!!

"I will NEVER forget the withdrawal I went through. Ever!!! Hands down the worst experience I've ever been through!! Period!! Was it life changing? Hell yes! For the worst while it was happening. I thought i was going to die! Not kidding!!  The funny thing is.... I didn't know while i was going through it..... that i would be a better person when it was over because of it. I look at life through a totally different lens now. It was a COMPLETE life cleansing process. You will be stronger than ever when it's over!"

 

KRock -- for me too!!

 

I never thought I would heal, I was SO sick. I thought about ending my life. I kept telling my husband I had "erased myself" and that I had "lost everything." But I didn't! *I* was just dormant, hiding while my body was healing. And like you, I have a totally different perspective on life: I'm more calm, focused, grateful--and just so DAMN happy to be alive and enjoying life, the small everyday moments. The other day I was chatting with the woman at the cash register at Trader Joe's and asking her about working there. She said they like to hire people who are upbeat, energetic, happy. Then she said, "You seem happy." And I thought, I AM! (Prior to benzo withdrawal, I would have been described as thoughtful, intense, serious, even loyal, but not happy.) It was truly one of the best compliments I have ever received.

 

I'm in touch with several people at the moment who are in withdrawal--all desperate, all fearful that they will never heal, never get their sense of self back. I see myself in their tortured thoughts and tearful eyes. I encourage people to read my old posts to see how sick I was, how destroyed I felt, and know that I am not that person now. My tag line was "Want to Be Me Again." Well, I AM me again, but also the BEST version of me I've ever been. People who had been through benzo withdrawal told me this while I was sick: that this is not wasted time, and that you come out a better version of yourself. I didn't believe it then, but now I have lived it and call tell everyone still suffering that it is true.

 

Hang on, everyone, you will get there!

 

Everyone...if you have to self isolate to keep yourself safe during the Coronavirus please do it. Withdrawl can be a selfish process. You HAVE to put yourself first until you get better. Which you will. Its just the way it has to be until you normalize.

 

I was scared to be around people during my withdrawl because i was so dam sick and my anxiety was through the roof! Plus i looked like i was near death and people looked at me funny. Like i was some leper. So isolating was my specialty. I got REALLY good at it!! Glad all that bullshit faded away.

 

Everyone here has a GREAT life ahead of them. Please believe what i say. I wouldn't lie to you about the healing process. Stay strong and push forward. You are WAY stronger than you think you are!!! If i can do it...so can you. You HAVE the inner strength to survive!! Dont doubt yourself!!! Life is worth living. Its waiting for you at the end of this process!

KRock,

 

This is just amazing, thank you for the positivity and encouragement. It really helps to keep us going.

Thank you, Krock!!

Krock - thank you. We need stories like yours.

Can I ask how/why you were on benzos and how long before you felt decent?

 

this is suffering like no other..I fight wondering if I'll ever be right again, have they (medical ppl) ruined me for life?

 

I read one of your responses to someone back in 2019 - about how you lived for your son. My kids (teens) are what I live for. this is definitely affecting them, and I want so badly to be their "normal" mom again. i know they think they've lost me. I try to be present for them in little ways, but symptoms (especially constant adrenaline/fear/anxiety) limit me. My poor husband has said he " just wants his buddy back".

It's so paradoxical how i hate so much isolation I'm in, yet people cause so much fear/anxiety ( I used to be a great ppl person!).

 

thanks for coming back on BB to inspire. I cling to these.

 

Katrina

Bump

Still so thankful for your story and ongoing encouragement in these comments. Yours is one I come back to. Thanks again! Hope all is well.

Hi Krock,

 

I never tire of reading his story especially in dark moments

 

And although I thought that the recovery for me was not possible due to the damage and the symptoms that I have.  Since a month ago and after a bad wave, there is an improvement at a mental and cognitive level and some symptoms have decreased in intensity and they are more manageable.

 

Now if I see possible the healing although it is not as fast as we would like it or it is not free of bumps

 

Thanks for your great story and for giving light and hope

 

Hey everyone...sorry Ive been off line for so long. Ive never forgot about my withdrawl or the pain and suffering that came with it. This site holds a place dear to my heart....so do the people on here. I promise you all...if you stay strong and push forward.... it will go AWAY! Please believe me...its the truth!

 

I would NEVER come on here to offer you false hope. If you were screwed forever ....I would just type it out here and tell you. It would be that easy. But i would be lying if I said that. Once you get through this...nothing else can stop you. All the other shit life throws at ya will seem easy. If i can make it....so can you. Im just a normal person... just like you!

 

I really did alot of shit wrong during my withdrawl. You can probably see that if you read through my past posts. Made things a complete nightmare to be honest. But even with my set backs and stupidity...i still healed. The body and brain is a amazing machine! Never doubt its ability!!!

 

Stay safe everyone...you have what it takes! Forward is the only way through this. Theres no side stepping it or easy way out! No magic pills either...I tried that to. Major dumb ass move! Please dont try that. It will just piss your brain off even more!! You HAVE to walk straight through the fire.....its the ONLY way!!

 

Believe what i say and you will reap the awards!!

 

 

Thanks Krock!  Your encouragement means the world!

Congrats Again, Krock.  And thank you for reassuring me that my awful burning, zinging, tingling, stabbing, non-stop head symptoms will fade away one day   Now go live the good life you so deserve!!!!!

Hi Krock.  I think I may have mixed you up with a bb named Krocksteady!  So forget the blurb about my head symptoms but keep my congrats message to you!!!!

Stay STRONG everyone! Every passing day is another day of tapering or healing! I know it can suck! Some suffer more than others! But i promise you it does end!! You have what it takes to finish it out!! Stay focused and keep pushing forward!!!

      Rock!!!  Thanks so much.  Dorito man lol.  I’ve read your story so many times.  I’m an older but goodie, trying sooo hard to kick it.  7 months soon.  Rapid taper. Eek.  Trying to stay positive.

      ??  If you don’t mind. How did you know when you stared turning the corner. ( husband asked) he’s been awesome.  I’ve been dealing with akathisa, involuntary spasms. To name a few. It’s been brutal.  But afraid of getting every dang test.  I know it’s W/D. As I never had it before. 

        Anyway.

 

        💜 thanks.  Kudos2

Thanks KRock !

Glad you stopped by with some encouragement. Helps so much !  Hope you are doing well.

I really appreciate you taking the time to write your success story. "vanished! POOF! Gone!" is what we all wish for our WD symptoms and you are proof it can and DOES happen.

 

I hope you're still feeling amazing and dong better and better every day.

 

Take Care,

 

HM

      Rock!!!  Thanks so much.  Dorito man lol.  I’ve read your story so many times.  I’m an older but goodie, trying sooo hard to kick it.  7 months soon.  Rapid taper. Eek.  Trying to stay positive.

      ??  If you don’t mind. How did you know when you stared turning the corner. ( husband asked) he’s been awesome.  I’ve been dealing with akathisa, involuntary spasms. To name a few. It’s been brutal.  But afraid of getting every dang test.  I know it’s W/D. As I never had it before. 

        Anyway.

 

        💜 thanks.  Kudos2

 

I noticed i started turning the corner when my akathisa calmed down. I was pacing around the house non stop and walking around my neighborhood like a mad man. It was a SUPER fucked up situation! Complete torture! Scared to go to the doctor because i knew they would try to put me on more meds to make it stop. And my brain was already a total mess from everything its been thru. So there was no way in hell i was taking anything else. I'm sure my neighbors were like WTF is wrong with him. Hes been walking around the streets for months. He cant STOP! I looked like a total crackhead and there was nothing i could do about it. Anyways...when that let up...i had hope all the other symptoms would calm down to. And they did...over time. All the symptoms just waxed and waned. Back and forth...up and down. Some days were worse than others. But i could see it happening. Did it suck? Hell yes! Big time emotional rollercoaster. I wasn't in all out I'm gonna die anymore mode. Remember...healing is not linear with this. I never really got windows. It all just sort of faded away over time. Slowly but surely...one by one. They just drop off and go away. And i had a ton of symptoms that needed to go. Sometimes certain symptoms would flare back up and show their ugly face. But they all except some mild tinnitus vanished forever. Which i cant really even tell anymore unless i really try to hear it. No big deal. Believe in the process. You will get back to normal. Hang tight and wait it out. A great life awaits you! Promise!

      Wow Krock, Thanks for the heads up!! It’s been awhile, but truly appreciate the words. Akathisia yes, only I paced in the house for hours!!!  With the mental one still coming around, but not as much. The physical one has died down. HELL Ooo. I’m struggling to with mycolonic jerks. Went to neurologist with mri eeg c- scan totally normal. It felt like seizures. She said I should go to psychiatrist and psychologist that it’s anxiety. That’s NOT what I was looking for. ( it’s W/D). Only hope they go away soon!, it’s scary. Went to er. No help.

  I have videos.  Legs shaking. Upper neck in jerks. Never had it before.    Trying to wait it out. Those are my worst with dr/dp in the mix.  ANYWAY.  Thanks Krock.  I hope all is well for you. Still Doritos?

  Lololol.    I will take your word, I will get back to normal.  I’m 67. No time to,waste.

     

              Rock on.    .  Kudos2

      Ohhh!!!  One more??  Sorry.  I wondered was it years for you to get through, I read your

Signature but I get confused as to timeline. With a cold turkey ish situation

 

        Thanks. Krock.  Your a truly beautiful person.      Kudos2