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KROCK....The Sucess Story I never wrote......


[KR...]

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You rock! Thanks for that up lifting post. I'm going to keep that pearl of wisdom and polishing it often. I'm just exiting hell myself and need that positivity in my life. Thanks a million!

 

No problem! Try and stay close to positive people while your healing. You dont need ANY negative bullshit in your life right now. At least until your Central Nervous System calms down. Which it will.

 

Just stay the course and be strong! Your normal withdrawl free life awaits you!!!

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  • 1 month later...

I love this story— thank you for coming back to share it. I’d like to know though... did you have any sensitivities? To chemicals, medicines, personal products, foods etc.. during your wd? And if so, do these go away?? I have so many fears about this. Can you take medicine when needed now? Do you even dare have a beer now and then?

 

In regards to your questions about being sensitive to items after I healed.

 

1. Chemicals.....I have zero issues with anything. Alls good with that.

 

2. Medicines....Ive never been back to a doctor since one told me I was screwed during my withdrawl. They told me my symptoms couldn't be withdrawl related so far out and they may never go away. Which we know now is NOT true and they did go away.

 

The thing is with Doctors....you pay them $100 for an office visit. They feel obligated to treat your symptoms because your paying them. The way most of them treat is by writing you a prescription. In my opinion most doctors over prescribe. So i just stay the hell away from all of them. I wanted my brain to go back to a natural baseline. And i couldn't achieve that with doctors trying to pump pills in my mouth. I doubt i would have a reaction if I really needed meds. But i choose not to. That's just me.

 

On a side note...i have taken over the counter Advil and Tylenol when i strained my lower back. Zero issues or side effects with either of them.

 

3. Personal Products.....have NO issues with any items what so ever. Alls good.

 

4. Food Items....I have NO issues at all. Zero. I drink Red Bulls and Mountain Dew without issue. Can eat whatever i like. NO GI issues...NO nothing.

 

5. Beer and Alcohol.....The last time I ever had a drink was before I went Cold Turkey off Valium. Ive never drank since. I use to drink socially before my withdrawl. As in a few times a week. But Ive never put alcohol back in my system since. Please understand this is just a personal decision. I have friends that have healed from Benzo withdrawl and go out drinking and dont miss a beat. I'm more than positive I'm fine in this department. I just have a different outlook on life now....and alcohol isn't in it. My poor GABA receptors have been through enough shit. I dont want to disrespect them any more than I have.

 

I looked at my witdrawl sort of as a life cleanzing process. All the BAD people....things ...and issues i had needed to go. I use to promise myself if i made it through it I would live life differently. Choose my battles carefully. And surround myself with POSITIVE people and things. No more unhealthy stressfull bullshit and people. They ALL had to GO!! Now that all that shit is out of my life now ... Life is so MUCH better!!!

 

At the end of the day....Everyone should identify their stressors in Life and work toward living a happier stress free life. EVERYONE here has been through enough pain and suffering....you deserve only the BEST going forward! Dont ever again let ANYONE or ANYTHING bring you down!!!!!

 

Thank you for such a thoughtful reply.

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Krock thanks so much for the helpful posts.

 

You mentioned that you started pushing yourself and then ended finding a part time job during healing. Did your sleep already normalize when you decided to start pushing yourself? Or did you still push yourself regardless whether you still had insomnia?

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Krock thanks so much for the helpful posts.

 

You mentioned that you started pushing yourself and then ended finding a part time job during healing. Did your sleep already normalize when you decided to start pushing yourself? Or did you still push yourself regardless whether you still had insomnia?

 

No...i didn't wait for my sleep to normalize. I just started pushing myself to distract my brain and kill time. I isolated myself inside for a long time. I had to expose myself to normal everyday things  so my central nervous system would get use to it. It was a slow process. But it worked for me.

 

I learned to live on very little sleep for a long time during withdrawl. It just became a part of who i was. But that shit is gone now. I sleep all night like a normal person. You will to. Try not to give yourself anxiety about little to no sleep. I know it can be maddening. But it goes back to normal. It just takes awhile. Stay strong!! You got this!!

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Hey KRock!  I've been following your thread for a while and as always your energy is wildly and forcefully reassuring.  It helps me feel like...damn straight I'm going to beat this shit!!!!  Going to show these benzos whose boss!!!

 

I'm about to finish up month 8.  I did a rapid taper too because of bad tolerance.  Really bad.  It's been a trip, but don't have to tell anyone here that.

 

The sx have been slowly dropping off and at month 8 can see a lot of progress.  But what you said about sticking close to positive people really hit home with me right now and was something I REALLY needed to hear.  My thoughts can still F me up big time, if I let them.  I'm not in the same place as month four or five...you know...waking up feeling like a squirrel in traffic  :)  but still fragile as far as the fear of long term recovery.  The length of the road can wear you down, you know?

 

Seem to be learning that lesson about avoiding negative people/energy up close and personal lately, and how important it is.  Really a big lesson.  As always, your advice is rock solid Krock.  I've been feeling cautiously hopeful lately, feeling better for real, and then had a series of negative people broadside me.  And said to myself no and hell no.  No more.

 

I could see clearly the strong effect it has on me at this point.  I mean, I'm totally avoiding stuff like caffeine and alcohol and sugar etc because of what it does to me...so why would I expose myself to that other type of toxin???  I'm even careful of what I watch on TV because of the effect it can have on me...I end up having disturbing dreams and can feel the fear rising...people are no different.  They have an effect. 

 

So thank you...once again I heard something from you at the perfect time.  And thank you for still coming back here and being so relentlessly positive about the healing process!!!  You saved my @ today!!  Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hey KRock!  I've been following your thread for a while and as always your energy is wildly and forcefully reassuring.  It helps me feel like...damn straight I'm going to beat this shit!!!!  Going to show these benzos whose boss!!!

 

I'm about to finish up month 8.  I did a rapid taper too because of bad tolerance.  Really bad.  It's been a trip, but don't have to tell anyone here that.

 

The sx have been slowly dropping off and at month 8 can see a lot of progress.  But what you said about sticking close to positive people really hit home with me right now and was something I REALLY needed to hear.  My thoughts can still F me up big time, if I let them.  I'm not in the same place as month four or five...you know...waking up feeling like a squirrel in traffic  :)  but still fragile as far as the fear of long term recovery.  The length of the road can wear you down, you know?

 

Seem to be learning that lesson about avoiding negative people/energy up close and personal lately, and how important it is.  Really a big lesson.  As always, your advice is rock solid Krock.  I've been feeling cautiously hopeful lately, feeling better for real, and then had a series of negative people broadside me.  And said to myself no and hell no.  No more.

 

I could see clearly the strong effect it has on me at this point.  I mean, I'm totally avoiding stuff like caffeine and alcohol and sugar etc because of what it does to me...so why would I expose myself to that other type of toxin???  I'm even careful of what I watch on TV because of the effect it can have on me...I end up having disturbing dreams and can feel the fear rising...people are no different.  They have an effect. 

 

So thank you...once again I heard something from you at the perfect time.  And thank you for still coming back here and being so relentlessly positive about the healing process!!!  You saved my @ today!!  Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

 

Im VERY proud of you! You've come SO far!! Time is the ultimate healer. I wish i could tell you different. But its true. The further out you get...the better things become. Theres NO rhythm or reason on how fast you heal or what symptoms wax and wane. Crazy process to say the least. But your body and brain know what its doing. They know how to heal themselves! TRUST the process and yourself. I promise you things will only get better!!!

 

Keep staying STRONG and EMPOWER yourself!! Benzo withdrawl is really NASTY shit!!!! You HAVE the killer instinct to make it!! Keep crossing the days off the Calender and make time pass. Distract your mind from the misery and think POSITIVE affirmations!!! NO doom and gloom! When those negative thoughts pop up...push them aside and distract yourself with something else right away!! Your normal life awaits you!! NO looking back NOW! You have a GREAT Life ahead of you!  You will look at things through a totally different lens when this is over!

 

I had a VERY postive member on this site that pulled me to the finish line. I was BLESSED to meet her!! Can honestly say she saved my life! No joke! She went thru a VERY bad cold turkey herself. But she had already walked thru the fires of hell and was on the other side when we met. Her experience and advice of the process was priceless!!! No matter how bad things were. She ALWAYS reassured me i was going to make it and survive this deal. She was always there for me no matter what. Like a mentor for the withdrawl process.

 

I hope everyone here can find some positive members that you can trust and help you like she helped me. I just try to pay it forward when i have time and give back the same gift to everyone here that what was given to me.

 

Healing is REAL! Dont ever doubt that or give up on yourself! Thats NOT a option in this game!!!

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hello my dear friend Krock.

 

Let me tell you bbs... I've known this fellow since way back.  He went through the hells of hell like all do..  Though, truly read his words, THEY ARE THE TRUTH!    He is an inspiration as you all well know now.  I knew him before this truth, and he would have never believed then, that he would become this truth, but he has.  These are the reins you grasp, as what Krock writes and shares with truth, is totally the truth.

 

Love you Krock my dear friend!  Pattylu

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  • 4 weeks later...

Hello my dear friend Krock.

 

Let me tell you bbs... I've known this fellow since way back.  He went through the hells of hell like all do..  Though, truly read his words, THEY ARE THE TRUTH!    He is an inspiration as you all well know now.  I knew him before this truth, and he would have never believed then, that he would become this truth, but he has.  These are the reins you grasp, as what Krock writes and shares with truth, is totally the truth.

 

Love you Krock my dear friend!  Pattylu

 

Thanks so much for your kind words! You have always been a guiding light for many! Your wisdom and compassion for those suffering has never gone unnoticed. The members you have helped are very lucky to have crossed your path!!

 

 

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

Stay strong during the Holidays everyone! As hard as it is to be in withdrawl during this time of year. Please know that you will have MANY Holidays withdrawl FREE in the future! Focus on what is to come....not what is present!! The future is BRIGHT for all of you!!

 

I lived through it.....so will you! Keep fighting and pushing forward! The days WILL pass and things WILL get better!

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Thank you KRock, you always drop in when wise words are needed! I was just planning menus, shopping lists and airport pick ups feeling like I don't have the brain or body power to do so. Knowing it took you a number of years to be fully functional is reassuring. I will carry your success with me as I manage a houseful.

 

Wishing you a very happy holiday. Enjoy your wellness and loving circle.

 

Carita :smitten:

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  • 4 weeks later...

Thank you KRock, you always drop in when wise words are needed! I was just planning menus, shopping lists and airport pick ups feeling like I don't have the brain or body power to do so. Knowing it took you a number of years to be fully functional is reassuring. I will carry your success with me as I manage a houseful.

 

Wishing you a very happy holiday. Enjoy your wellness and loving circle.

 

Carita :smitten:

 

Thanks for the warm wishes!!

 

Please remember....You have the inner will to survive and make it through this deal. NEVER underestimate your inner power! If i can do it....so can you!!  Theres NOTHING special about me. I'm just a normal person like everyone else on this site. If i survived it...you can to. Was my withdrawl horrific? Hell yes!!!! SUPER bad stuff!!! And i did a lot of things wrong. But its gone. And yours will be to.

 

Please know you have a CALM symptom free life ahead of you. If it wasn't true ...i would tell you now. But its very real....soon you will see. I come back to this site so i can keep reminding people like yourself to NEVER give up. To fight and push forward. Because it does end! Its worth the fight!! The life that awaits you has many rewards!!

 

I will NEVER forgot the withdrawl i went through. Ever!!! Hands down the worst experience Ive ever been through!! Period!! Was it life changing? Hell yes! For the worst while it was happening. I thought i was going to die! Not kidding!!  The funny thing is.... I didn't know while i was going through it..... that i would be a better person when it was over because of it. I look at life through a totally different lens now. It was a COMPLETE life cleanzing process. You will be stronger than ever when its over!

 

Many peaceful prayers sent your way. Be easy on yourself. You've been through alot.

 

Please have a peacefull Christmas knowing that you WILL heal. Its ALL temporary!!

 

 

 

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When I’ve seen you’ve posted, it’s like relief, as I always know you’ll say such helpful things. The stress of this is just unbearable, what with life etc, having to pretend when you want to keel over,  and I’m soooooo triggered easily now, the reaction is making me fear PTSD.

 

Thank you for checking in, the encouragement is needed.  :smitten: :smitten:

 

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KROCK your a RockStar!

 

It’s amazing to see what you went through and how big of an encouragement you’ve become! I always knew you would ! You have words of wisdom and a very attracting attitude!

 

Keep doing it this works for you!

 

Merry Christmas best friend ❤️

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When I’ve seen you’ve posted, it’s like relief, as I always know you’ll say such helpful things. The stress of this is just unbearable, what with life etc, having to pretend when you want to keel over,  and I’m soooooo triggered easily now, the reaction is making me fear PTSD.

 

Thank you for checking in, the encouragement is needed.  :smitten: :smitten:

 

I TOTALLY understand where your coming from. Do I ever! Its OK to be mad and on edge! Look what your dealing with! Who wouldn't be pissed! Right?

 

In regards to being triggered. Triggered was a understatement with me. I was totally fucked up out of my mind!! I was Mad...Sad...Depressed....Angry....No Hope...Manic....wanted to end my life at times....the whole dam rainbow of emotions!! 100 plus symptoms! Complete devastation!!

 

My doctors downplayed my symptoms like i was making shit up! Doubting it was real! Telling me I may never get better. That i might have some type of brain damage or mental issues and its NOT withdrawl! Wanted to lock me up in a mental ward for my own saftey. Yes...they said that shit to me! Scared me to death!! You name it...things were REALLY bad!! I thought i would have PTSD for sure based on all the trauma from the withdrawl and negative feed back from my doctors. Surely DOOMED!!

 

The good news is....it ALL.went away. It was ALL withdrawl. No PTSD!! No more symptoms! The doctors were wrong and life is good. Your life WILL return to normal as well. So will your Central Nervous System! Calmness and Peace awaits you! You just have to be patient and ride it out. Theres no way through benzo withdrawl but through it. Your doing great!! It really DOES go away!! Promise!!

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Love you Krock!  Always happy to see your posts!  I know you will always saying something uplifting.  Thank you for continuing to think of those still healing and coming back to remind us it will happen.  :smitten:

 

Your words carried me through some tough months.  I'm almost fully healed now, mostly functional, and you still remind me  that the magic of full healing really does and will happen.

 

Thank you my friend, for your relentlessly positive reminders.  May you have a lovely holiday season.

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When I’ve seen you’ve posted, it’s like relief, as I always know you’ll say such helpful things. The stress of this is just unbearable, what with life etc, having to pretend when you want to keel over,  and I’m soooooo triggered easily now, the reaction is making me fear PTSD.

 

Thank you for checking in, the encouragement is needed.  :smitten: :smitten:

 

I TOTALLY understand where your coming from. Do I ever! Its OK to be mad and on edge! Look what your dealing with! Who wouldn't be pissed! Right?

 

In regards to being triggered. Triggered was a understatement with me. I was totally fucked up out of my mind!! I was Mad...Sad...Depressed....Angry....No Hope...Manic....wanted to end my life at times....the whole dam rainbow of emotions!! 100 plus symptoms! Complete devastation!!

 

My doctors downplayed my symptoms like i was making shit up! Doubting it was real! Telling me I may never get better. That i might have some type of brain damage or mental issues and its NOT withdrawl! Wanted to lock me up in a mental ward for my own saftey. Yes...they said that shit to me! Scared me to death!! You name it...things were REALLY bad!! I thought i would have PTSD for sure based on all the trauma from the withdrawl and negative feed back from my doctors. Surely DOOMED!!

 

The good news is....it ALL.went away. It was ALL withdrawl. No PTSD!! No more symptoms! The doctors were wrong and life is good. Your life WILL return to normal as well. So will your Central Nervous System! Calmness and Peace awaits you! You just have to be patient and ride it out. Theres no way through benzo withdrawl but through it. Your doing great!! It really DOES go away!! Promise!!

 

 

You’ve no idea what this means to me, and being a protracted case myself, I’m just worn down to the ground, exhausted.. You get so discouraged pushing through, white knuckling, and punished for it. I never ever imagined it would take this long, I remember thinking in the beginning,  first year or so,  it might be changing, just  briefly, nope!! It makes you feel a effing failure when you know how hard you’ve tried, and you think you must have turned severely autistic, it must be me. So I understand EVERY reassuring word and am so grateful for it. It’s something to focus on and say, well I can heal too, even though it feels impossible

 

:smitten: :smitten:

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KROCK your a RockStar!

 

It’s amazing to see what you went through and how big of an encouragement you’ve become! I always knew you would ! You have words of wisdom and a very attracting attitude!

 

Keep doing it this works for you!

 

Merry Christmas best friend ❤️

 

 

Awwww....your so nice! I just feel REALLY bad for people that end up in this situation. Its a VERY unfair process!!! Scary as hell. People dont get the answers they need from their doctors. Most doctors are clueless on the duration and symptoms. As you know ALL to well with your visits to the ER during your withdrawl back in the day.  :crazy:  :stretcher:

 

People need to know that this shit does end. That what their going through is very normal even though it seems VERY abnormal. And that EVERYTHING is going to be OK. Having reassurance means the world to people suffering with this stuff.

 

You were my MAIN source of insperation and reassurance while i was suffering. Its hard to think about where i would be without your help. Probably not on this earth anymore typing on this thread.  :-\ Without this site I would of never met you. Support is key to making it to the finish line. If your not getting the support you need from family members or doctors. This site is a GREAT life line of support to help you get through it. Where else can you talk to people going through the same shit you are?!! Theres NO local Benzo support groups to go to like AA or NA. Were on a island all by ourselves suffering and scared.  :'(

 

Withdrawl can take a while to get through as many know. After awhile your friends, family members, and doctors start looking at you like it CANT still be withdrawl. NO way!! Its been to LONG! Something else must be wrong!! Well...if I were them....i would probably be thinking the same shit. But when you log on here you see that hey.....I'm NOT fucked up. The shit and duration I'm dealing with is VERY normal and it DOES end!! . Yipppee!  :yippee:

 

I can NEVER thank you enough for your help during my withdrawl!! I'm just trying to pay the gift forward that you gave me to others in need.

 

Merry Christmas Bestie!! Your the BEST!! Always will be!! :smitten:

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Thank you sooooo much for this post!! I've been having an extremely rough time of it today bouncing back and forth from anxiety to depression and back again. Reading your words and hearing your story have helped to calm me down and get me back leveled again!! Truly did need to hear your words today!! Thank you once again!
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KROCK your a RockStar!

 

It’s amazing to see what you went through and how big of an encouragement you’ve become! I always knew you would ! You have words of wisdom and a very attracting attitude!

 

Keep doing it this works for you!

 

Merry Christmas best friend ❤️

 

 

Awwww....your so nice! I just feel REALLY bad for people that end up in this situation. Its a VERY unfair process!!! Scary as hell. People dont get the answers they need from their doctors. Most doctors are clueless on the duration and symptoms. As you know ALL to well with your visits to the ER during your withdrawl back in the day.  :crazy:  :stretcher:

 

People need to know that this shit does end. That what their going through is very normal even though it seems VERY abnormal. And that EVERYTHING is going to be OK. Having reassurance means the world to people suffering with this stuff.

 

You were my MAIN source of insperation and reassurance while i was suffering. Its hard to think about where i would be without your help. Probably not on this earth anymore typing on this thread.  :-\ Without this site I would of never met you. Support is key to making it to the finish line. If your not getting the support you need from family members or doctors. This site is a GREAT life line of support to help you get through it. Where else can you talk to people going through the same shit you are?!! Theres NO local Benzo support groups to go to like AA or NA. Were on a island all by ourselves suffering and scared.  :'(

 

Withdrawl can take a while to get through as many know. After awhile your friends, family members, and doctors start looking at you like it CANT still be withdrawl. NO way!! Its been to LONG! Something else must be wrong!! Well...if I were them....i would probably be thinking the same shit. But when you log on here you see that hey.....I'm NOT fucked up. The shit and duration I'm dealing with is VERY normal and it DOES end!! . Yipppee!  :yippee:

 

I can NEVER thank you enough for your help during my withdrawl!! I'm just trying to pay the gift forward that you gave me to others in need.

 

Merry Christmas Bestie!! Your the BEST!! Always will be!! :smitten:

Awww thank you J!!!

 

This was so nice to hear and I’m so happy time has passed and we’re at this End of WD!

You are amazing and you give so many here such comfort and real Hope! I’m so proud of you and your understanding!

 

I spent 7 months alone in my C/T didn’t find BB until after that and I’m so glad I did because we met and helping you helped me! But now we have been such great friends almost 10 years !

 

Thank you for helping me these last few weeks with what I’ve been going through you have checked in on me and let me know your always there when I need you ! Thank you!

 

Everyone here who reads your wonderful words get a glimpse into where they will be ! You give them hope and reassurance when they need it most! Your wonderful!

 

Merry Christmas ❤️

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  • 2 weeks later...

Your words are so uplifting!  You make me believe!

Thank you.

 

Your welcome. Stay strong and hold tight! Your day is coming! You have MANY withdrawl free Holidays ahead of you when this is over. Peace and happiness is coming your way!!

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