Author Topic: KROCK....The Sucess Story I never wrote......  (Read 14752 times)

[Buddie]

Re: KROCK....The Sucess Story I never wrote......
« Reply #80 on: January 02, 2019, 08:55:38 am »
Hey [...] glad you healed did you ever had this symptom itís like your abdomen muscles are really hard tight like someone poured  concrete into them.. if you did did you change diet to heal it just Iím 18 months cold turkey and this symptom has got worse not better this late out my diet is really bad so I think could be from that

I tried all sorts of diets while in withdrawl. None of them worked for me. If anything....it just passed time. I lost so much weight from the non stop pacing i had....i did everything in my power to just keep hydrated. My stomach was a complete mess from start to finish.

 Your doing great being 18 months CT. That's no easy feat. Keep pushing forward. You can do this. This will all pass. I eat whatever i want now....no pain....no stomach issues. You will be just like me before you know it. Stay strong!!
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[Buddie]

Re: KROCK....The Sucess Story I never wrote......
« Reply #81 on: January 06, 2019, 03:13:26 pm »
boombox - I understand what you described about the dogs.  I have a cat that I have always adored but sometimes just can't connect with.     You're so right.  It's the drugs.  At least we see that, though it doesn't make it any easier sometimes, at least we know it's the drugs.  And yeah, I have sort of an obsession too with reading about, learning about Benzos and other people's stories but on good days, I don't feel the need as much.  Some days trying to maintain the positive attitude just doesn't cut it and then I just work on acceptance.  Sometimes I can pull off positive despite all this qwap with a capital Q.   [...]'s post is a beacon and helps to remind me lots and lots of people have healed.  And we will too.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: KROCK....The Sucess Story I never wrote......
« Reply #82 on: January 06, 2019, 03:50:20 pm »
[...], yes, it's very scary to not have good feelings toward family members, to just feel basically nothing, and once in a while, I have some strange intrusive thought about someone. Yes, my wife says try not to spend time on your computer looking at forums and support groups on Facebook, and I tell her I can't stop when I'm feeling bad. Yesterday was a decent day for me until the middle of the night last night. I didn't sleep well and when I woke up I was having these intense feelings of anger toward everyone I thought about. It scares me to no end. Then I went to my wife about it and she said you had such a good day today. I said I can't control how this changes from moment to moment. I just want to feel normal on a consistent basis again. That's the goal for everybody on this forum coming off these poisons. Working out seems to be helping me so I am going to keep doing it.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: KROCK....The Sucess Story I never wrote......
« Reply #83 on: January 07, 2019, 12:23:42 pm »
boombox - Like [...], your frankness about emotions, and sometimes lack of emotions, is appreciated.  Helps keep things in perspective about these benzos.  I'd really like to put it out there because it's so important for many of us I think, so I'm going to start a thread about it today.  Hope to see you on it.

[...]
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: KROCK....The Sucess Story I never wrote......
« Reply #84 on: January 11, 2019, 05:20:33 am »
I really wish i would have done some type of video diary of my withdrawl from start to finish for all to see. From coming off a high dose of Valium in a Detox Center... to my failed reinstatements... to where I'm at today. Everyone here would see how i went to the depths of hell...near death....tremendous suffering...  all the way back to living a normal happy healthy life.

I'm here to tell you it DOES happen.!! No bullshit....No lies! I'm not saying any of this to make you feel better because i feel sorry for you. I'm telling you this because its the TRUTH!

Healing is REAL...from start to finish! Hold tight... it WILL happen for YOU!

Everyone heals at different rates.....believe in the process......your time WILL come!!!!
« Last Edit: January 11, 2019, 05:26:48 am by [Buddie] »
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: KROCK....The Sucess Story I never wrote......
« Reply #85 on: January 11, 2019, 11:06:46 am »
Hi [...] - Depths of hell...to being happy!  What a wonderful thing.  It is definitely hell and tremendous suffering.  Thanks for the reminder that we will get well. 

I think the worst for me was when I was so bad off and didn't understand it was the Klonopin.  Thought I was just having a prolonged reaction to the prolonged stress that precipitated the Klon.  THAT was the scary part.  Thought I was going nuts, or dying or something.  All the time through that year I was clueless about paradoxical reactions and tolerance withdrawal.  And the whole time telling myself...well, at least I have the Klon for sleep - not knowing the Klon was the cause of it all!!!

The healing process has been scary, discouraging, seemingly hopeless at times, but at least I know now what the frig was/is wrong.  I'm getting near the end of a probably too fast taper,  but at least I'm seeing some healing happening.  I think I'm one of those types that need  to move the taper along and not dawdle. 

Thanks for the post.  Really needed the encouragement this morning [...].  Sorry I babbled a bit.  You just keep proving life comes back.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: KROCK....The Sucess Story I never wrote......
« Reply #86 on: January 11, 2019, 04:13:35 pm »
[...],

I experienced the same thing while taking the Klonopin for 2 1/2 months. I must have gone into tolerance withdrawal within one month of taking it because I started getting more and more depressed while taking it and then I kept blaming it on work. I remember taking showers in the mornings before taking the medication where I thought I was losing my mind with anxiety. Then I took the little dose and felt fine. When I quit c/t, after a couple months, I was waking up in the middle of the night asking my wife to take me to the psych ward because of intrusive thoughts. Honestly, at work right now, I still feel like I'm in an alternate reality.

I genuinely hope I start feeling like myself again in the future.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: KROCK....The Sucess Story I never wrote......
« Reply #87 on: January 11, 2019, 05:36:03 pm »
boombox - I never did get around to starting that thread.

Funny about alternate universe.  I just said to my husband last night - I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe!
This stuff can really do a number.  It feels like it stole my Self, my Spirit, everything that has always defined me as far as my perceptions and feelings (on top of everything else it stole)

When I was on the Klon I had a lot of angry thoughts too.  But chalked it up to the very real stress I was under  Like, I have a sister I wanted to strangle 30 years ago!!!!  : )  So, what else is new.  But it was a weird, different kind of anger.  Like a constant thing that owned me.   Sometimes just plain numb and sort of shell shocked.

I'm getting glimpses lately of the old me emotionally - easy to laugh, appreciative of the simpler things in life, hope, love, peace.  (Sounds a little like Woodstock in the 60's : ) 

Glad you can workout.  I'm a little envious.  Weather is not permitting a walk, among other things.  But just working around the house when I can improves the mood.

We're getting there boom.  Neuroplasticity of the brain can accomplish some pretty amazing things.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: KROCK....The Sucess Story I never wrote......
« Reply #88 on: January 31, 2019, 05:08:40 am »
Hey [...] glad you healed did you ever had this symptom itís like your abdomen muscles are really hard tight like someone poured  concrete into them.. if you did did you change diet to heal it just Iím 18 months cold turkey and this symptom has got worse not better this late out my diet is really bad so I think could be from that

I tried all sorts of diets while in withdrawl. None of them worked for me. If anything....it just passed time. I lost so much weight from the non stop pacing i had....i did everything in my power to just keep hydrated. My stomach was a complete mess from start to finish.

 Your doing great being 18 months CT. That's no easy feat. Keep pushing forward. You can do this. This will all pass. I eat whatever i want now....no pain....no stomach issues. You will be just like me before you know it. Stay strong!!


Hey thanks for the reply but did you have this symptom weíre your abdomen muscles felt were very hard and tight
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: KROCK....The Sucess Story I never wrote......
« Reply #89 on: March 13, 2019, 10:30:40 pm »
Keep pushing forward everyone!! As hard as it may seem.... You WILL beat this and come out stronger when this is over!

Once you make it through this......any other bullshit life throws at you will seem EASY! Promise!!

What your going through is not for the faint of hearts! Your ALL warriors in my eyes.... try not to be so hard on yourself if your not healing as fast as you would like!! Your time is coming!!

You can do this!! You have what it takes!!
« Last Edit: March 13, 2019, 10:40:06 pm by [Buddie] »
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.