Author Topic: KROCK....The Sucess Story I never wrote......  (Read 20603 times)

[Buddie]

Re: KROCK....The Sucess Story I never wrote......
« Reply #70 on: December 29, 2018, 02:41:27 am »
Iím five years still in hell everyday! I really starting to lose hope!
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: KROCK....The Sucess Story I never wrote......
« Reply #71 on: December 29, 2018, 09:00:35 pm »
[...] you ROCK!  I love seeing your posts.  [...] rocks too!  Very inspiring. 
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: KROCK....The Sucess Story I never wrote......
« Reply #72 on: December 31, 2018, 01:42:12 pm »
Hey [...] glad you healed did you ever had this symptom itís like your abdomen muscles are really hard tight like someone poured  concrete into them.. if you did did you change diet to heal it just Iím 18 months cold turkey and this symptom has got worse not better this late out my diet is really bad so I think could be from that
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: KROCK....The Sucess Story I never wrote......
« Reply #73 on: December 31, 2018, 05:15:52 pm »
I am totally glued to your story.  It's wonderfully, brutally honest, raw and ultimately optimistic.  Your attitude is incredible.  I got more from reading this one thread, more sound advice, hope and optimism than anywhere.  Especially about the mind games the Benzo plays with you.  You just have to keep pushing past.  It's like living behind enemy lines and the enemy is yourself.  It seems the Benzo plays with ALL your vulnerabilities  - mentally, emotionally, physically and even spiritually.  It constantly mirrors my darkest fears all day, all night.  No rest.  Like demon haunted.  A one way ticket to hell.  Now I Know it is NOT a one way ticket.

Dude, Thanks
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: KROCK....The Sucess Story I never wrote......
« Reply #74 on: January 01, 2019, 06:37:41 pm »
Kroc,

Congratulations on your healing!!  Thank you for posting a success story.  May I ask why you were prescribed the benzo and for how long did you take them?  Trying to maintain hope that healing and full recovery is possible.

My doctor put me on Benzos.....he said it would help me cope with my 19 year old sister passing away suddenly. She died back in 2005 right before Christmas. I was having trouble sleeping .....working....and socializing after her sudden death. What i didn't realize is.....all of that was normal behavior and part of the natural grieving process. I never got to grieve naturally. I was medicated on Valium shortly after her death. My family doctor told me it would help make things normal again. So the story goes from there. What a mess it became.

I will tell you that all the feelings about my sisters death that the Valium suppressed came pouring out during my withdrawl. It never made those feelings go away or my life better. The feelings were hidden underneath the meds the whole time. I know now that there is a natural healing process you have to let your body go through when dealing with traumatic life experiences. You can medicate the feelings if you like.....but someday you will have to face them head on. There is no magic pill.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: KROCK....The Sucess Story I never wrote......
« Reply #75 on: January 01, 2019, 06:52:43 pm »
I suppose if you medicate one feeling, you end up medicating them all.  How true, they will all still there when you come out the other side.  That's a good thing, having feelings come back.  So sorry about your sister.  Sounds lame, but what words to say about something so shocking. 

With much compassion
[...]
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: KROCK....The Sucess Story I never wrote......
« Reply #76 on: January 01, 2019, 08:51:46 pm »
I am totally glued to your story.  It's wonderfully, brutally honest, raw and ultimately optimistic.  Your attitude is incredible.  I got more from reading this one thread, more sound advice, hope and optimism than anywhere.  Especially about the mind games the Benzo plays with you.  You just have to keep pushing past.  It's like living behind enemy lines and the enemy is yourself.  It seems the Benzo plays with ALL your vulnerabilities  - mentally, emotionally, physically and even spiritually.  It constantly mirrors my darkest fears all day, all night.  No rest.  Like demon haunted.  A one way ticket to hell.  Now I Know it is NOT a one way ticket.

Dude, Thanks

I'm glad you've gotten something out of my story. I try not to sugar coat my words. Lets face it....Benzo withdrawl is Hell. Lets call it what it is. The good news is it DOES go away. I know that's hard to believe while your suffering. But you have to believe me and hold on tight. Because it will fade away. It took me a long dam time....but im proof it does happen. Thus the reason i come back here to let you and others know its for real. You do heal.

I will NEVER forget what i went through. Its a very real and cruel process. Regardless of what the doctors say or think they know.

Stay on this site and get the support you need from people that understand what your going through. You will start needing this site less and less as you heal. Sort of a bitter sweet moment due to the friends that you meet.

I was logged on this site nonstop for a very long time. I had severe Suicidal Ideation and Intrusives thoughts after my cold turkey. I NEVER had thoughts like that before benzo withdrawl...Ever. I was afraid to be alone thinking i would hurt myself or even worse kill myself. This site preoccupied my time and made me feel safe and secure until those symptoms backed off. Lots of members dont like to talk about those feelings or fears. But they were a very real part of my withdrawl along with all the other miserable shit i was going through. If anyone is having scary intrusive thoughts please know its ALL withdrawl. As real as the intrusive thoughts seem....their FAKE. Its not the REAL you. Your brain is LIEING to you. Its misfiring while its healing.

You will make it though this bullshit. Stay strong and empower yourself. Stay away from any negative people that doubt you or bring you down. You have what it takes!
 
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: KROCK....The Sucess Story I never wrote......
« Reply #77 on: January 01, 2019, 09:38:16 pm »
It is hard to believe you will get better while going through this. I am trying to stay as positive as possible in the new year though.

I can relate to you at 9.5 months off. I am on this site constantly. I also spend time on face book support groups. I can't focus on anything else. I hope the need to have the obsession fades with time. I notice on some good days I have less desire to be on this forum.

My absolute worst symptoms are suicidal ideation and intrusive thoughts, many of which scare me tremendously. I had them today while looking at my dogs and I just thought about how badly I dislike them and don't want them around anymore. Then I know it's withdrawal talking. I love my dogs and even the thought of getting rid of them now makes me cry yet I have no love for them all of a sudden in certain moments. I just wish the intrusive thoughts could let up a little. If they did, I could resume life relatively normally.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: KROCK....The Sucess Story I never wrote......
« Reply #78 on: January 01, 2019, 09:41:56 pm »
Thanks [...].    This is a life changing journey.  And I believe, with everything that's left in me, the change is gonna be for the better.  Thanks for proving it.  You just keep on proving it.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: KROCK....The Sucess Story I never wrote......
« Reply #79 on: January 01, 2019, 10:06:46 pm »
Thanks for following up after going through hell and back probably more than once. I'm currently a month and a week free of all meds after tapering off 4 within a year, so I'm still feeling big waves and even depersonalization/derealization regularly. It's great to hear from people like you that are doing well and it gives me hope. :)
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.