Author Topic: KROCK....The Sucess Story I never wrote......  (Read 35568 times)

[Buddie]

Re: KROCK....The Sucess Story I never wrote......
« Reply #50 on: September 25, 2018, 05:43:39 am »
My sweet friend [...],

I begin my reply in a different way from others, as we began our connection so many, many years ago.. We had the chat room then and connected so much through that.  Of course your username was different in those days, and further out I wondered what happen to my buddie by that username ******..   I missed you!!

At some point this [...] member was posting in replies now and then on sites and attacking ones who began the thread, one in particular.  That's when I had enough and had to try to smooth things and replied accordingly how I felt to this [...].  Of course he came back strong arming me..   It really became and donnybrook...  His one final post was "you know me but under a different username"...  I thought "who was he what was that username", this isn't someone I was close with, even through this nightmare that was this extreme.. I sent a [...] to [...], [...]'s blocked.  Red flag remembrance...   In that dialog, heated as it was between us, he mentioned *******...another bb... I sent her a [...] and she replied, as we communicated a lot over that period of time.  I was floored.  Asked her as they spoke by phone so much, she was a pillar for and with him, to give him my love.   I posted back to him on the thread... I know who you are now and shared my feeling about him from me.

[...] my dear friend...  A sweet little spiritual bird, the last of the ones I have been supporting told me of your success story, and how grateful I was to hear of it.   Moments after our conversation I came on BB, so I could read it and read each and every reply.   Tears flow with lots of joy reading yours, as I promised you that you would heal and get there, and you have as you share.

It is a journey of none other as you state so specifically and honestly.  Though as you share it is life changing, and it is.  As I have shared with the ones I have personally supported off BB, many gifts come from this plank of hell process, we are reborn to a new self with peace and new direction.  You my dear [...]... you know the truth of this journey, you walked it as feeling crippled and broken through it, though, you found the truth... The body has a magnificent power of healing, it does get us there, it just takes that time.

My blessings to you my dear friend.  Tears flow from my eyes with JOY to have read this beautiful Success Story, and I know you are fine now...  You earned all the "gifts" that come from it.. You have them now with a beautiful peace within yourself.. And from that, you will continue extending those gifts in the most simple and important ways.

Your Success Story is so much proof of that.

Love to you always... [...] : :smitten: :smitten: :smitten:

(P.S.  One day in the spiritual arena in the next plane in life, I will smile as I will know who you are and give you the biggest hug)

Thanks so much for your kind words. They mean a lot to me. I appreciate the support you gave me. I will never forget it.

Itís really hard to believe Iím on the other side of this deal. For a long time I had my doubts. All I could do was hope and pray.

One thing the withdrawal did was rid me of all my bad stressors....it completely changed my lifestyle. It flushed out all the fake bad people I didnít need in my life from friends to family members. I can honestly say Iím beater off now in a lot of ways than before my withdrawal. Itís jsut sad I had to go through what I went through to get here.

I never knew I had the power to make it until I made it. The human body and mind is more powerful than people give it credit. You can achieve anything you set your mind to if you empower yourself and have a reason. My reason was to prove all the doctors and non believers that my symptoms were real and I could heal.

Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: KROCK....The Sucess Story I never wrote......
« Reply #51 on: September 25, 2018, 06:03:03 am »
How marvelous for you to come back and share your story of victory and hope.
Rock on buddie!
M.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: KROCK....The Sucess Story I never wrote......
« Reply #52 on: September 25, 2018, 06:14:31 am »
[...]....congratulations on your success and thanks so much for returning and letting know that you have your life back.....
    I have a question.....you mentioned digestive symptoms....can you tell me what kind of symptoms did you have, when did they start, and how did you deal with them.  Did you treat them in any way?
Were you diagnosed with any conditions like SIBO, Histamine Intolerance, or food intolerances, etc.?
And if you had any of those conditions, did they just heal up naturally?  I started with digestive issues, late in my recovery period....5 years out....have been trying to treat these issues, but sure would like to know that they heal as well......or is it damage that was done to my gutthat I will have To livewith forever.....I know you cannot really say, but give me your opinion and how you dealt with it.
     I am nearly healed at 8 years out now, just a few issues that still hold me back from saying...ĒI AM HEALED.Ē
Thanks again for coming back and answering our questions....
[...]

Thanks....and congrats on being so far out in your recovery. You should be proud of yourself. I know it wasnít easy.

As far as the digestive issues....I had some bad stomach issues right after my CT. Extreme stomach pains and cramping....to major bloating and I wasnít even eating anything to get bloated. How the hell does that happen! I thought I had celiac disease.....so I cut out all the wheat products....started eating rice, That didnít help. Then I thought I was lactose intolerant.....major pains when eating dairy....so I stopped eating that......that didnít help either. I thought I had ulcers.....went to doc to get tested.....no ulcers. By the way he checked me for that other stuff...all came back negative. It was very frustrating. All this lasted a long time. Your belly has a lot of GABA receptors in it....thus  the issues during these tuff times.

This is the point when I stopped going to doctors. Every time I went to a doctor they down played my withdrawal and symptoms. It pissed me off more than ever. They looked at me like I was mental and it was all in my head. Or that I was some type of hypochondriac. I got nothing from them except a bunch of bullshit lines. I knew dam well I never had these problems before withdrawal.....and I was [...] and praying I didnít have them when it was over. Thankfully they all went away. I can eat whatever I want now. Drink Monster Energy Drinks.....spicy food...you name it. My digestive track is normal.

Iím not trying to bash doctors or down play the medical field. But most of them donít have a clue what benzo withdrawl does to the body. Unless they Google it while your there and pretend they know a thing or two.

 I havenít been back to a doctor since. I still have the portable blood pressure monitor that the Detox Center sent me home with after they CTd me. I kept it as a reminder of all the money they charged me to fuck my brain up. I had that dam thing hoooked up to my arm all the dam time because I thought I was going to die. So sad.

You body does some really weird shit while itís healing and trying to reset itself. You have to hang on because it knows what itís doing. As scary as it is sometimes....thatís the truth.

Please believe in the process.....and the outcome.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: KROCK....The Sucess Story I never wrote......
« Reply #53 on: September 25, 2018, 06:17:13 am »
How marvelous for you to come back and share your story of victory and hope.
Rock on buddie!
M.


Thanks so much! You have come a LOOOONG way yourself. Please stay positive .....you deserve the best in life.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: KROCK....The Sucess Story I never wrote......
« Reply #54 on: September 25, 2018, 06:33:45 am »
Hi [...],

I am so happy to read such a story. I need it at that moment. I am french, and we don't have so many successful stories.
I am 6 years benzo free, but I am in a very bad wave again. I thought I was done. I took magnesium for 2 months, and now I am living again with fears and suicidal issue. All my fears are back. Do you think we can live withour fear again?
I know I've been taking benzos every time there was a problem issue before withdrawal. Do you think we have to force ourselves to confront this fear or just get stress free during waves ? I feel I will never be free with my fears ! or is the wave doing that ?

thank you again


All my intrusive thoughts and suicidal ideation was all benzo withdrawl induced. It was scary as hell. But it does go away. You just have to self talk yourself through it and remind yourself its not real. As real as it seems. The withdrawal will make your brain lie to you .....it will make you think things that you never thought you could think before. Itís mental warfare to say the least. You fighting against yourself.

In terms of confronting fears.....I just removed them from my life while I was healing. Anything or anyone that stressed me out I avoided.....period. I was sort of a hermit to the real world while I was healing. The fewer people I had to explain my situation to ....the bettter. Less was more for me....

Once your central nervous system calms down your fears wonít seem as intense. It just may take a while to get to that point. But it will happen.....and you will be at peace with yourself. Promise.,
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: KROCK....The Sucess Story I never wrote......
« Reply #55 on: September 25, 2018, 08:47:35 am »
thank you so much for answering :) feels good that someone can relate to this. thank you thank you  :smitten:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: KROCK....The Sucess Story I never wrote......
« Reply #56 on: September 26, 2018, 04:34:56 am »
Thanks for coming back to give some much needed encouragement.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: KROCK....The Sucess Story I never wrote......
« Reply #57 on: September 26, 2018, 02:33:40 pm »
Thanks a lot [...]! That is encouraging!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!  :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

What were some of the first indications that you were feeling better? Did your symptoms fade away or rapidly go near the end? What was the one symptom that stayed with you the whole time? Was it the worst symptom? Just trying to get a handle on these things!

You suffered for a long time. I'm SO GLAD you came back and posted your success story!!! There are many of us who need encouragement over on the protracted board. THANK YOU!!!  :smitten:

The first symptom that I was getting better was the fact that I was starting to be able to sit still...I was pacing my house all day long....it slowly faded away where I could start watching tv. The anxiety was just so dam bad.

A symptom that stayed with me the longest were the intrusive thoughts....my mind played many mean games on me. I knew the thoughts were part of the withdrawal.....but they scared the shit out of me while they were happening. I had to keep distracting my mind to push them aside. Being scared of yourself is a real eye opener.....that never happened before the withdrawal....and itís never happened again when it was over.

I am almost 12 months off, and intrusive thoughts is the worst part right now. Suicidal ideation, fears of loosing control and doing something bad, especially to my fiance. This is so hardcore. But I am happy the DP/DR -part is much lower now than couple months ago.

I think I will be fine someday!

All the best,
Samuli
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: KROCK....The Sucess Story I never wrote......
« Reply #58 on: September 28, 2018, 05:57:57 am »
You can eat whatever you want.....with no digestive issues ?  I really needed to hear this !  YES !  :smitten:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: KROCK....The Sucess Story I never wrote......
« Reply #59 on: September 28, 2018, 03:20:05 pm »
It is super scary never knowing if/when the intrusive thoughts are going to go away. From what I have read in success stories, including yours, they do eventually go away but the thoughts make it seem like I need more medication or something. After six months of short-term use, it seems like they would be easing up more often.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.