14 Months Benzo Free

At 14 months I’d never thought it’s still be disabled and housebound because of BWS but it is what it is. After talking to many it seems that the 2 year mark is more realistic for people who went CT. With that many symptoms have returned strong in the last month so it’s very frustrating. Looking for some hope and positivity

Yeah, I was a mess at 14 months off, but improvements did increase after two years. I must emphasize that not everyone will have to wait this long to experience substantial relief.

 

I only started being able to drive again last month, and the associated activity is helping other stuff, so I’m probably looking at three years off for something spectacular.

 

But if you can celebrate any improvement at all, that’s a good thing. 

 

 

Leslie Ash,

 

Thanks so much for the response as it’s hard to believe it’s been so long yet not much improvement. I did have some decent improvements months 10-12 but as the windows and waves go it’s been back to a daily struggle. Speaking with members on here it seems as if 24-36 is more of an accurate timetable for healing. Wishing you continued healing as we get further out in our journey.

I have to say, guys, your posts gave me hope. I am 10 months off and home-bound with all sorts of horrific symptoms, barely surviving. I see people drive and go out 2 months off and I think: what's wrong with me?! But knowing that healing can happen even 2 years out is reassuring!

I would like to reassure you that what you are feeling is common. I did CT.. was really bad at 14 months and unfortunately many months after that. You stated that 2 years seems to be an average..well I'm there and still have painful core issues. It is shocking to be how many of us are still dealing with debilitating symtoms after the 2 year mark

I don’t believe that success stories after 2 4 or even 8 months were going thru the same withdrawal. I’m 15 months off and some days are still hard as hell. Some others I can go out but no work, no social activities, just surviving. So when people tells us they went thru hell for 4 months and are 90% better, I’m not sure we’re talking about the same hell. Take care everyone, keep strong. 

Yong,

 

Completely agreed...this is so cruel and crazy. I was legit having some better days a year ago... it’s unbelievable how this all plays out

I don’t believe that success stories after 2 4 or even 8 months were going thru the same withdrawal. I’m 15 months off and some days are still hard as hell. Some others I can go out but no work, no social activities, just surviving. So when people tells us they went thru hell for 4 months and are 90% better, I’m not sure we’re talking about the same hell. Take care everyone, keep strong.

 

My thoughts exactly

I don’t believe that success stories after 2 4 or even 8 months were going thru the same withdrawal. I’m 15 months off and some days are still hard as hell. Some others I can go out but no work, no social activities, just surviving. So when people tells us they went thru hell for 4 months and are 90% better, I’m not sure we’re talking about the same hell. Take care everyone, keep strong.

Agreed!!!

28 months out and barely surviving. Maybe 20-30% better in last few weeks. Zero energy, not able to work, severe anxiety, neuropathy burning pain in my body and scalp. Tinnitus and terrible sleep. Up every 1.5 hrs and many times up for 2-3 hrs during night. Sever hormones issues.

Some people just lucky to heal faster..... I guess many of us takes a loooong time. But refused to give up hope.

Love and healing to you all

Vica

 

 

I agree with yong also. Going a long time in this requires great resilience, strength, courage, and faith that healing will come. It certainly would have been better, and easier, to be done with this at an earlier date. This is an entirely different hell and bears no resemblance to early healing, but I don't discount the courage that went into the 8-month timeline. It's just that we long-termers are very different. It's the difference between a 10K and a marathon or ultramarathon.

I wish we knew why some people have it so bad. Not enough research has been done. Do the Big Pharma companies block research somehow? I just do not get it. We KNOW a few people go through simply terrible withdrawals. ALL the years BB has been around should be proof enough.

 

To make it through this requires strength you may not have known you had. I sure didnt. I had NO idea how awful benzo WD could be, and I worked in a Detox Center! I studied this stuff and nothing prepared me for what I would go through.

 

I think the best strategy is to have faith in what you read here. Being on this forum helped me so much. I will be forever grateful. BB saved my life and I know this is true.

 

I think many of you will know what I mean. It is SO hard to describe how bad you feel! Its like mere words just do not do it. You suffer in silence, hoping you will start to heal. And perhaps healing is very slow in coming for you. It was for me. I just held on. Somehow, I just kept going no matter how bad and scared I felt.

 

It paid off in the end. I DID heal, much to my surprise! I feel quite normal now. NO remaining problems I relate to benzos. I do have one small symptom that started during withdrawal but I know now it wont hurt me or bother me as long as I just.....let it go. Being a somewhat ocd type personality is the problem there. Once something comforts me, whtehr its benzos, alcohol, sugar or whatever....I tend to keep doing it. I have to fight this all the time.

 

It does take courage to get through this. You may not KNOW you have that courage...in fact, I would bet you do not think you do have it! But you DO. Just keep going forward. One tiny step at a time. Live minute to minute or hour to hour or day by day, whatever suits you now. You WILL get through this! You CAN get through this.

east

Stay the course Tommy!  Someone on here wrote that at about 18 or 19 months "the miracle began to unfold'.  That is exactly how it happened to me: about ten months ago it became not just a slow lessening of sxs but a lessening of sxs with a concurrent growing restoral of good feelings.  And it IS a miracle to  feel more like my self again than I have in many years.  At 30 months, though still in process I'm soooo much better!  As horrible as the sxs were, I can finally feel some hope, peace, pleasure, I can smile authentically  from the inside out, laugh; have less  irritation, less anti-social, more patience, warmth, thankfulness, better sleep - though all those are not yet completely consistent; cogfog, apathy and fatigue hound me most, and the dives into anxiety, despair, sobs or depression etc are decreasing.  I am NOT in bed or at home like I was though some days I lack get up and go.  I can increasingly engage authentically with others.  It's been slow as tar yet now enduring through to healing and thriving has become tolerable / doable.  It feels good to feel good.  You will too.  Keep walking, keep surviving! 

 

And east is right.  I didn't have hope or courage for this, it was one day, hour, minute, whatever at a time. 

Hey Tommy, I remember when you first joined - I said something to you about timelines and was trying to be realistic but not scare you.  Hard to believe it's been 14 months, and I'm sorry to hear you're still suffering. 

 

It's so hard to fathom how awful this all is and how long it takes for some of us, especially when some people never have any issues getting off these poisons, while others can recover in months rather than years.  I think that for most of us who seem to be unlucky for whatever reasons, it sadly takes 2 - 3 years. I'm 21 months off and still very much in the thick of it, especially with the mental symptoms, but I'm definitely better than I was a year ago, and somewhat better than six months ago.  I kind of expect that it will take me 24 - 36 months.

 

I'll tell you, though, it started to seem a little less horrific, a little more tolerable for me somewhere around 14 - 16 months.  Nothing dramatic, but it was enough to give me some hope.  While it's important to be realistic, it's even more important to expect to heal and to hang onto hope however you can.  In some ways, it's been easier for me since I just accepted that it's going to take a very long time.  Acceptance can bring a bit of peace.

 

Anyway... glad to see you're hanging in there - 14 months you'll never have to do again. 

I wish we knew why some people have it so bad. Not enough research has been done. Do the Big Pharma companies block research somehow? I just do not get it. We KNOW a few people go through simply terrible withdrawals. ALL the years BB has been around should be proof enough.

 

To make it through this requires strength you may not have known you had. I sure didnt. I had NO idea how awful benzo WD could be, and I worked in a Detox Center! I studied this stuff and nothing prepared me for what I would go through.

 

I think the best strategy is to have faith in what you read here. Being on this forum helped me so much. I will be forever grateful. BB saved my life and I know this is true.

 

I think many of you will know what I mean. It is SO hard to describe how bad you feel! Its like mere words just do not do it. You suffer in silence, hoping you will start to heal. And perhaps healing is very slow in coming for you. It was for me. I just held on. Somehow, I just kept going no matter how bad and scared I felt.

 

It paid off in the end. I DID heal, much to my surprise! I feel quite normal now. NO remaining problems I relate to benzos. I do have one small symptom that started during withdrawal but I know now it wont hurt me or bother me as long as I just.....let it go. Being a somewhat ocd type personality is the problem there. Once something comforts me, whtehr its benzos, alcohol, sugar or whatever....I tend to keep doing it. I have to fight this all the time.

 

It does take courage to get through this. You may not KNOW you have that courage...in fact, I would bet you do not think you do have it! But you DO. Just keep going forward. One tiny step at a time. Live minute to minute or hour to hour or day by day, whatever suits you now. You WILL get through this! You CAN get through this.

east

 

Thank you so much, eastcoast!! You give me hope!! 

Great feedback, especially from the standpoint of hope... thanks guys, it’s a struggle but hopefully that’ll start to dissipate soon or at least hit some windows... boat is taking on a lot of water in these big waves the longer we get out