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Winnie,

Sorry you are having these struggles. I was given Ativan and Valium in addition to the K. K is different than Ativan, it is more similar to Xanax with longer half life. Not sure I would recommend switching drugs to taper if you haven't had any experience with it. I've heard of many that went to Valium to get off and were successful as Valium is not as synthetic. Haven't heard of many switching to K from Ativan although anything is possible. The milk titration worked well for me, it was methodical and took 11 months but it was certainly worth it for me. If I had not seen the Canuck's videos I don't know I would have attempted it.

It wasn't a gradual even ride. As you probably know, nothing is linear about this journey. There were days when I was 3 months off that were much worse than some days when I still had 6 months to go on the taper....except once I was off I knew I was never going back on so no matter how bad it was I was going to make it.

When I got close to the end of the taper I thought "oh no, I bet it's going to be horrible when I take that last crumb." It really wasn't any different. I was so glad to be rid of it. Like I said, there were still bad days, some 3 bad days 1 ok and so on; but not the months of everyday with absolutely zero breaks.

It took 18 months after the taper to feel back to normal,  and I've been off now about 45 months.

I was fortunate in that I was a Chemistry major in college, so the taper and titration made some sense. Whole milk, homogenized (consistency), the fatty molecules of the milk would bond with the Klonopin and be homogeneous.  Unlike water where it is loose particles trying to make a solution that is not necessarily consistent. Although some people made water work.

I knew the K was fat soluble, I'm not sure about Ativan. The short half life of Ativan certainly doesn't help, that is why many go to Valium because of the extended half life. I tried to switch but my doc wouldn't allow it, and I had to pretend that I was still on the K in order to get scripts as my doc thought you could get off in "a couple weeks".

I hope this helps some....don't give up! It is so worth it to get your life back.

Prayers Winnie❤❤❤

 

B strong

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Back in the summer of 2015 I was doing pretty good....I had retired in 2013, had a beautiful wife, 2 kids, and 3 grandchildren. I played Senior softball a couple times a week, did some golfing, which I love and spent lots of time playing with my grandkids. My wife and I went to the beach probably 2-3 times a week as it was only 30 minutes away and I loved looking at the horizon, listening to the surf (I used to surf as a teen) and loved the "clarity" and the beautiful "colors" of God's creation.

 

Back 5 years earlier I had back problems and stress from work and a doctor gave me .5 Klonopin and told me they would help relax my back and were good for just general stress relief, he said to take them as needed. I was working graveyard shifts, which I'd been doing for years. He was right, they were a miracle drug. I took maybe 2-3 a week and they also helped me get some sleep on those tough days. I never took them more than that and didn't even know "benzos".

A few months after I had my 1st ever panic attack, which I felt at the time was caused solely by stress from my job. It was horrible as anyone whose had one knows and I thought I was dying. I talked to a counselor at my church and they told me to breath in a paper bag and try to relax, that they wouldn't kill me....but would eventually subside.

The next time I saw my Family Dr, who had given me the Klonopin he said it would help me with the panic attacks, so the next time I felt close to having one I would take one. I had never been fond of taking much medicine, but this K really helped the attack subside. Continuing on this course I would take only a couple a week, with the exception of when I felt a panic attack coming on, even though I would try the paper bag trick 1st. I had only 2 more full blown attacks in the next couple years heading into retirement, knowing I was retiring was beneficial to my peace of mind. I totally quit taking the K and never even thought about it.....

 

Back to retirement life, I had been a little over 2 years into it and was having some stomach issues including some severe pains. I went to a few doctors and changed family doctors, as my old one had been "let go"?

I went to the new family doctor and told him I was retired, had some stomach pain that was severe but was happy in general. He said does the pain get you depressed? I really didn't know what to say...I said I didn't like it but I wasn't really depressed. He said I got something I want you to try, it will help, Lexapro. I said no thanks (not really knowing anything about antidepressants), he said just try it; what can one hurt. If you don't like it just quit. I went to check out and noticed the clock on the wall was a Lexapro clock, the ashtray had Lexapro on it. Didn't know about Big Pharma...

I picked up the prescription and still had some reservations as I was doing fine, I thought  except for my stomach pains. I told my wife and she said "well you can try one, if you don't like it, quit".

Sounds like a plan. That evening I decided to try one....Disaster! The worst panic attack I had ever had came on. My muscles became stiff and rigid and I had 102 fever. My wife called the doctor for me as I was panicking, hitting my hands on the dresser, having spasms, etc.

The nurse said the doctor said we'll send you some Klonopin to take.

I had not even thought of K in a couple of years, had zero panic attacks until the Lexapro and was extremely anxious. I took one dose of K and it helped a little, then another the next morning.

I ended up in the ER and they believed I had "Serotonin Syndrome" the night before and could have died. I had never heard of it, but did some reading on it, and decided I would try even more to stay completely away from drugs as much as possible.

I had another panic attack 7 days later and took another K to help it...I was trying to stay away from as much as possible. Had another a month later, took a K then 3 months later, took a K. I was pretty proud of myself  as there were several more times I "needed" a K but toughed it out. I had did a little reading and found that the K was something you should wean off of, I had never even thought of that as I had no problem coasting off of it when I retired. I thought the Lexapro had done something to me that upset my equilibrium and the K kind of helped it back to the middle, especially reading about Serotonin and its effect on you.

This whole time I was still having the stomach issues, and had been referred to Gastrointestinal doctors. The doctor put me on Phenergan to help my nausea and said it would help me sleep some too. They ordered an MRI too. The MRI came back and was told I had Mesenteric Paniculitis, an autoimmune disease that is extremely rare. I had begun to lose weight and would lose almost 40 pounds in under 2 months. They said I could possibly have lymphoma, as it was similar in symptoms. I was having a rough time and still taking the Phenergan, now twice a day for 45 days, as per my GI doctor. I started getting extremely agitated and anxious, shaking, tremors, pacing the floor....all of a sudden. My mind raced, I couldn't sit down, relax, watch tv, read. I was nervous and jittery all day. I tried taking the K I had from before and it didn't touch it at all, in fact it was much worse. Panic attacks 3-4 a day, beating my head on the door jams, opening and closing cabinets, I couldn't sit still.

I self checked myself in to a Psych Hospital hoping they would help, I was even having suicidal thoughts. The 1st one took me in at 9 am, put me in a room with many other "crazy" people, who seemed just like me. At 5 PM they said we're calling your wife to come get you, without anyone even speaking to me.

I was even more delirious, I had went there begging for help. They kicked me to the curb. My wife took me to a different psych hospital 2 days later as I was still having major issues. They took me in and gave me a shot of Ativan...and it calmed me for a few hours. It felt so good to have my mind slow for just a minute, but then it was gone. They gave me K, Ativan, Visteril and Thorazine. Thorazine is known as "chemical labotomy" in the psych world, as it was used to warehouse patients back in the 50's and 60's to keep them quiet. DON'T EVER TAKE THIS! I had no choice, as I was in a hospital with locked doors and my wife wasn't allowed in.

Don't ever go into one of these if you have a choice!!!! I don't know how  I even made it through.

After getting out I was determined to try to get off all these psychological drugs. I had been diagnosed with "acute anxiety" but was given psychotropic drugs on top of other drugs along with the Phenergan, that I later found out, is used in Europe for anxiety and according to the manufacturer, should not be taken for longer than 7 days, I had been on it for 45 days....I tried on my release from the hospital to go cold Turkey on everything. I went to a neurologist who diagnosed me with drug induced Akathasia. I was pacing 18 hours a day, sleeping 0-1 hr a day for weeks. I couldn't leave my house, I suffered from severe agoraphobia for 9+ months after this. I cried everyday. I had no rest, especially mentally. I begged God every day for months to please take me....I don't even know how other parts of my anatomy functioned with No sleep. After the 1st month out of the hospital, I tried to find some stuff on line, anything, everything that might help. My mind was totally consumed with the drugs, and how to get off.

I found some videos on YouTube about tapering, and then found Benzo Buddies!.....You mean other people have been through this? I asked questions and watched taper videos....SG57, a buddy who is still suffering,  gave me some advice, advice that was instrumental. I watched a video from a guy from Canada named ,Crazy Canuck.

I went back on K with the hope of tapering this time. It wasn't easy....I was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease, and Tardive dyskinesia by 2 different Neurologists.

The 1st 9 months after the hospital, including the start of my K taper were horrible. I did a milk titration, I had a Chemistry background, so that helped a little. My wife would watch me measure the milk and take my dose each night...It was instrumental to have my wife stay with me. She has her own health issues, and I've always took care of her. The tables were reversed and now she was taking care of me. It wasn't easy, she struggled as she's never had anxiety and at 1st couldn't understand why I just didn't tell myself to "get over it". But she fought through it too...it was very hard on her too.

I tapered for 11 months reducing by .001mg a night. I saw an Endocrinologist for my Cortisol levels and he checked them. They were supposed to be no higher than 20, but came back 76. He said let's try again, maybe it was a mistake. The 2nd time came back 426....over 20 times normal. No wonder I was wired everyday, especially in the morning starting at 3am, like clockwork. He initially diagnosed me with Cushing's disease.

Today as I write this I'm 19 months from my last crumb of K. I also tapered off Nexium, which I had been on for 10years for reflux. I take nothing anymore, maybe a Tylenol once a week or so.

Last month my wife and I took an impromptu road trip for 4 days, we went to a concert, ate at some cool places, did horseback riding, hiked in the mountains and went to watch The University of Alabama have their fall football fan day. I'm coaching my grandson's soccer team, playing golf, going to the beach....loving life.

I can actually sit down, and relax!!! I have "clarity" again!!, I see "colors" again.

I've gained back my weight, (maybe too much:))

I reached a point after that 9 months of asking God to take me, that I turned a corner and asked God to help me.

Make it through the next moment, the next hour, the next day....don't give up! Don't let the drug, the evil win!

It seems as though all the diagnoses, except the Drug induced Akathasia, were maybe ALL because of drugs....no Parkinson's, no tardive dyskinesia, no Cushing's, perhaps never even Mesenteric Paniculitis???

I can't say for sure what tomorrow will bring.....but I've been through HELL and made it. There was a time I thought there was NO WAY!!!

HANG IN THERE!

I used to tell my wife when I was at my worst that I was in here somewhere....pointing to my heart. Well I'm here...I really was still in there!

Love to each of you! You can do it!!! I did it, so can you!

 

Things that helped

Keep a journal.... write how you feel, grade your anxiety, how you feel, etc.

You don't notice things when you're in the middle of the forest, but as you journey and read back, you'll see you're making progress.

Distract....everyone says this and it's true. My 5 year old grandson would come by and "play" with me...color, cards, Hot Wheels cars. It helped immensely.

Try to accomplish small things, wash the dishes,  fold clothes, anything.

 

I noticed that during my withdrawal I had extreme feelings, I wanted to die, I hated things like never before, I was so jealous of everything and everybody. I believe the drugs bring out the very worst of you. After making it thru this I'm more patient, more relaxed than I've ever been. I appreciate the small things, I love more, I appreciate everything. I'm at peace, I know based on what I've been through I'm tougher than I ever was.

I hope sharing the tough parts help someone. I used to read the Success Stories wondering sometimes maybe they were made up, maybe the administrators were just posting things to keep us coming back.

I really made it! Woo hoo! You will too!!!

 

Symptoms I struggled with the most....

Akathasia

Insomnia

Anxiety

Depression

Muscle pain (especially neck and shoulder)

Headache

Spasms

Twitching

Hypersalivation (mouth watering so much I would have a pool on my pillow)

Eye pain

Cold intolerent

Crying every day

Could not relax, rest.

Intrusive thoughts (They're not You!)

Mind racing incessantly

Tinnitus

All the other ones too!

 

Except for Tinnitus and some neck pains and headaches they are ALL GONE!

 

SORRY FOR THE LENGTHY SUMMATION BUT HOPE IT HELPS SOMEONE

Prayers and Hope for you all....

Love,

 

B strong

 

This too shall pass....

 

 

Hi B... I'm not sure if you're still here but reading your story made me cry. There have been so many times I have felt like I was losing my mind, never realizing it was the benzos (until recently). It struck such a chord with me.

I'm so happy you are feeling better and living life. I am at the end of my taper and assume it will be a little while longer for me. Bless you and your wife. I hope you are able to fully enjoy your retirement!

 

 

Best,

Karen

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Thanks so much for the kind words Karen. You will get there my friend! So weird that a drug that was supposed to help causes so much pain.

Prayers to you🙏

Btw, my wife's name is Karen too❤

 

B strong

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  • 1 month later...
What happened with the mesenteric paniculitis?  I’ve just a few months ago been diagnosed with sclerosing mesenteritis.  Took Ativan for the nausea and am coming to the end of a taper.  Did your nausea just go away?
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  • 3 weeks later...

Bookienew,

Sorry it's been awhile since I checked in. I was diagnosed with MP off of a CT scan after having severe stomach issues.  I was on Mobic for pain along with Phenergan for nausea among other drugs. Had several other CTs which showed the "cloudy mesentery" which I could see myself. There was concern that I had lymphoma, which is based on a similar cross diagnosis.

Fast forward to now where I'm no longer on the Mobic or Phenergan  in fact I take nothing except occasional OTC tylenol for headaches. Not sure if it all could have been caused by the drugs or if I did or still have MP. It was definitely severe, but after the fact reading about how Klonopin bonds with fatty tissues in your body and gut, have wondered if that's what caused the cloudy mesentery?

Don't know for sure and hope to never have to worry about it again.

I hope your digestive issues subside! My digestion now is probably as good as it's ever been, and I'm not taking anything for it. Good luck! Prayers to you...

 

B strong

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  • 2 weeks later...
I hereby grant Dr. Cathal Cadogan, Lecturer and Research Supervisor, Royal College of Surgeons in Ireland (BenzoBuddies username: cadisainmdom) to use my withdrawal- and recovery-related data contained within my Success Story for the study - [ study, as detailed here: http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=250579.msg3187012#msg3187012 ]

Back in the summer of 2015 I was doing pretty good....I had retired in 2013, had a beautiful wife, 2 kids, and 3 grandchildren. I played Senior softball a couple times a week, did some golfing, which I love and spent lots of time playing with my grandkids. My wife and I went to the beach probably 2-3 times a week as it was only 30 minutes away and I loved looking at the horizon, listening to the surf (I used to surf as a teen) and loved the "clarity" and the beautiful "colors" of God's creation.

 

Back 5 years earlier I had back problems and stress from work and a doctor gave me .5 Klonopin and told me they would help relax my back and were good for just general stress relief, he said to take them as needed. I was working graveyard shifts, which I'd been doing for years. He was right, they were a miracle drug. I took maybe 2-3 a week and they also helped me get some sleep on those tough days. I never took them more than that and didn't even know "benzos".

A few months after I had my 1st ever panic attack, which I felt at the time was caused solely by stress from my job. It was horrible as anyone whose had one knows and I thought I was dying. I talked to a counselor at my church and they told me to breath in a paper bag and try to relax, that they wouldn't kill me....but would eventually subside.

The next time I saw my Family Dr, who had given me the Klonopin he said it would help me with the panic attacks, so the next time I felt close to having one I would take one. I had never been fond of taking much medicine, but this K really helped the attack subside. Continuing on this course I would take only a couple a week, with the exception of when I felt a panic attack coming on, even though I would try the paper bag trick 1st. I had only 2 more full blown attacks in the next couple years heading into retirement, knowing I was retiring was beneficial to my peace of mind. I totally quit taking the K and never even thought about it.....

 

Back to retirement life, I had been a little over 2 years into it and was having some stomach issues including some severe pains. I went to a few doctors and changed family doctors, as my old one had been "let go"?

I went to the new family doctor and told him I was retired, had some stomach pain that was severe but was happy in general. He said does the pain get you depressed? I really didn't know what to say...I said I didn't like it but I wasn't really depressed. He said I got something I want you to try, it will help, Lexapro. I said no thanks (not really knowing anything about antidepressants), he said just try it; what can one hurt. If you don't like it just quit. I went to check out and noticed the clock on the wall was a Lexapro clock, the ashtray had Lexapro on it. Didn't know about Big Pharma...

I picked up the prescription and still had some reservations as I was doing fine, I thought  except for my stomach pains. I told my wife and she said "well you can try one, if you don't like it, quit".

Sounds like a plan. That evening I decided to try one....Disaster! The worst panic attack I had ever had came on. My muscles became stiff and rigid and I had 102 fever. My wife called the doctor for me as I was panicking, hitting my hands on the dresser, having spasms, etc.

The nurse said the doctor said we'll send you some Klonopin to take.

I had not even thought of K in a couple of years, had zero panic attacks until the Lexapro and was extremely anxious. I took one dose of K and it helped a little, then another the next morning.

I ended up in the ER and they believed I had "Serotonin Syndrome" the night before and could have died. I had never heard of it, but did some reading on it, and decided I would try even more to stay completely away from drugs as much as possible.

I had another panic attack 7 days later and took another K to help it...I was trying to stay away from as much as possible. Had another a month later, took a K then 3 months later, took a K. I was pretty proud of myself  as there were several more times I "needed" a K but toughed it out. I had did a little reading and found that the K was something you should wean off of, I had never even thought of that as I had no problem coasting off of it when I retired. I thought the Lexapro had done something to me that upset my equilibrium and the K kind of helped it back to the middle, especially reading about Serotonin and its effect on you.

This whole time I was still having the stomach issues, and had been referred to Gastrointestinal doctors. The doctor put me on Phenergan to help my nausea and said it would help me sleep some too. They ordered an MRI too. The MRI came back and was told I had Mesenteric Paniculitis, an autoimmune disease that is extremely rare. I had begun to lose weight and would lose almost 40 pounds in under 2 months. They said I could possibly have lymphoma, as it was similar in symptoms. I was having a rough time and still taking the Phenergan, now twice a day for 45 days, as per my GI doctor. I started getting extremely agitated and anxious, shaking, tremors, pacing the floor....all of a sudden. My mind raced, I couldn't sit down, relax, watch tv, read. I was nervous and jittery all day. I tried taking the K I had from before and it didn't touch it at all, in fact it was much worse. Panic attacks 3-4 a day, beating my head on the door jams, opening and closing cabinets, I couldn't sit still.

I self checked myself in to a Psych Hospital hoping they would help, I was even having suicidal thoughts. The 1st one took me in at 9 am, put me in a room with many other "crazy" people, who seemed just like me. At 5 PM they said we're calling your wife to come get you, without anyone even speaking to me.

I was even more delirious, I had went there begging for help. They kicked me to the curb. My wife took me to a different psych hospital 2 days later as I was still having major issues. They took me in and gave me a shot of Ativan...and it calmed me for a few hours. It felt so good to have my mind slow for just a minute, but then it was gone. They gave me K, Ativan, Visteril and Thorazine. Thorazine is known as "chemical labotomy" in the psych world, as it was used to warehouse patients back in the 50's and 60's to keep them quiet. DON'T EVER TAKE THIS! I had no choice, as I was in a hospital with locked doors and my wife wasn't allowed in.

Don't ever go into one of these if you have a choice!!!! I don't know how  I even made it through.

After getting out I was determined to try to get off all these psychological drugs. I had been diagnosed with "acute anxiety" but was given psychotropic drugs on top of other drugs along with the Phenergan, that I later found out, is used in Europe for anxiety and according to the manufacturer, should not be taken for longer than 7 days, I had been on it for 45 days....I tried on my release from the hospital to go cold Turkey on everything. I went to a neurologist who diagnosed me with drug induced Akathasia. I was pacing 18 hours a day, sleeping 0-1 hr a day for weeks. I couldn't leave my house, I suffered from severe agoraphobia for 9+ months after this. I cried everyday. I had no rest, especially mentally. I begged God every day for months to please take me....I don't even know how other parts of my anatomy functioned with No sleep. After the 1st month out of the hospital, I tried to find some stuff on line, anything, everything that might help. My mind was totally consumed with the drugs, and how to get off.

I found some videos on YouTube about tapering, and then found Benzo Buddies!.....You mean other people have been through this? I asked questions and watched taper videos....SG57, a buddy who is still suffering,  gave me some advice, advice that was instrumental. I watched a video from a guy from Canada named ,Crazy Canuck.

I went back on K with the hope of tapering this time. It wasn't easy....I was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease, and Tardive dyskinesia by 2 different Neurologists.

The 1st 9 months after the hospital, including the start of my K taper were horrible. I did a milk titration, I had a Chemistry background, so that helped a little. My wife would watch me measure the milk and take my dose each night...It was instrumental to have my wife stay with me. She has her own health issues, and I've always took care of her. The tables were reversed and now she was taking care of me. It wasn't easy, she struggled as she's never had anxiety and at 1st couldn't understand why I just didn't tell myself to "get over it". But she fought through it too...it was very hard on her too.

I tapered for 11 months reducing by .001mg a night. I saw an Endocrinologist for my Cortisol levels and he checked them. They were supposed to be no higher than 20, but came back 76. He said let's try again, maybe it was a mistake. The 2nd time came back 426....over 20 times normal. No wonder I was wired everyday, especially in the morning starting at 3am, like clockwork. He initially diagnosed me with Cushing's disease.

Today as I write this I'm 19 months from my last crumb of K. I also tapered off Nexium, which I had been on for 10years for reflux. I take nothing anymore, maybe a Tylenol once a week or so.

Last month my wife and I took an impromptu road trip for 4 days, we went to a concert, ate at some cool places, did horseback riding, hiked in the mountains and went to watch The University of Alabama have their fall football fan day. I'm coaching my grandson's soccer team, playing golf, going to the beach....loving life.

I can actually sit down, and relax!!! I have "clarity" again!!, I see "colors" again.

I've gained back my weight, (maybe too much:))

I reached a point after that 9 months of asking God to take me, that I turned a corner and asked God to help me.

Make it through the next moment, the next hour, the next day....don't give up! Don't let the drug, the evil win!

It seems as though all the diagnoses, except the Drug induced Akathasia, were maybe ALL because of drugs....no Parkinson's, no tardive dyskinesia, no Cushing's, perhaps never even Mesenteric Paniculitis???

I can't say for sure what tomorrow will bring.....but I've been through HELL and made it. There was a time I thought there was NO WAY!!!

HANG IN THERE!

I used to tell my wife when I was at my worst that I was in here somewhere....pointing to my heart. Well I'm here...I really was still in there!

Love to each of you! You can do it!!! I did it, so can you!

 

Things that helped

Keep a journal.... write how you feel, grade your anxiety, how you feel, etc.

You don't notice things when you're in the middle of the forest, but as you journey and read back, you'll see you're making progress.

Distract....everyone says this and it's true. My 5 year old grandson would come by and "play" with me...color, cards, Hot Wheels cars. It helped immensely.

Try to accomplish small things, wash the dishes,  fold clothes, anything.

 

I noticed that during my withdrawal I had extreme feelings, I wanted to die, I hated things like never before, I was so jealous of everything and everybody. I believe the drugs bring out the very worst of you. After making it thru this I'm more patient, more relaxed than I've ever been. I appreciate the small things, I love more, I appreciate everything. I'm at peace, I know based on what I've been through I'm tougher than I ever was.

I hope sharing the tough parts help someone. I used to read the Success Stories wondering sometimes maybe they were made up, maybe the administrators were just posting things to keep us coming back.

I really made it! Woo hoo! You will too!!!

 

Symptoms I struggled with the most....

Akathasia

Insomnia

Anxiety

Depression

Muscle pain (especially neck and shoulder)

Headache

Spasms

Twitching

Hypersalivation (mouth watering so much I would have a pool on my pillow)

Eye pain

Cold intolerent

Crying every day

Could not relax, rest.

Intrusive thoughts (They're not You!)

Mind racing incessantly

Tinnitus

All the other ones too!

 

Except for Tinnitus and some neck pains and headaches they are ALL GONE!

 

SORRY FOR THE LENGTHY SUMMATION BUT HOPE IT HELPS SOMEONE

Prayers and Hope for you all....

Love,

 

B strong

 

This too shall pass....

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 months later...
  • 5 weeks later...

B strong’s story is a a Beacon to me ( and probably many others ). Much Love ❤️ to this man’s determination and kindness!

 

HopeFull01

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Hope and UL!

Thanks for the kind words. I hope you guys are seeing some progress! Every little thing is a big thing when you've been where we've been! :thumbsup:

I'm doing really great, even better than before. I hope that all of you that are suffering can find the strength to make it through the pain and find peace. It is worth it!😊

Love to you all❤

 

B strong

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Thanks bstrong

 

Things here are improving on some levels.  The stress I am under is causing other stuff to flare.  I hope it all settles soon.  I continue to hold out for hope it’s all I can do.  In time I suppose it gets better. 

 

Peace and prayers

 

U

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Hope and UL!

Thanks for the kind words. I hope you guys are seeing some progress! Every little thing is a big thing when you've been where we've been! :thumbsup:

I'm doing really great, even better than before. I hope that all of you that are suffering can find the strength to make it through the pain and find peace. It is worth it!😊

Love to you all❤

 

B strong

 

Hey B strong!

 

I am on Day 50 of 1 mg. of Valium. Going Slow. I have my NP visit next week, I think we will stay where we are for another month and reevaluate next month.

I am SO glad you are doing great. You are a beacon…

 

Much Love,

 

HopeFull01

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  • 1 month later...
Thank you for sharing your story. And, yes. Big pharma is real. I wish you a lot of happiness, together with your wife and family. You are a true warrior.  :thumbsup:
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Good luck on your taper Oxa!

So true....if drug companies actually healed everyone and we didn't need drugs any longer they wouldn't make Billions for their CEOs. Most if not all drugs have side effects that then require you to treat the symptoms with more drugs and so on and so on.

Sure there are drugs that are needed by people for many appropriate ailments...but when doctors get kickbacks from drug companies to write prescriptions, they are incentivized to cross the line at times to what is needed and not.

I haven't had any drugs other than an occasional OTC headache medication since February 2017. I quit several drugs that I was told I would be have to be on for life...but not so. My blood pressure, reflux, etc have been better than they have in years, much better than while on the meds.

I even almost quit the headache medication completely, realizing that many of those were rebound headaches because of medication.

I'm no doctor, just speaking from experience.  Be your own advocate, the doctor doesn't have to deal with the consequences of a prescription that fails, so do what's best for you.

Hope your taper goes smoothly! Good luck.

God bless👍

 

B strong

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Thank you B Strong for all your words of wisdom.  I'm 2 months off of sleeping pills (finished with Benzos years ago). My worst problem is severe headaches and I noticed you mentioning that you had even considered dropping your headache medication. I keep wanting to abandon mine as well but then the pain gets so intense I can't cope anymore.  Would you be willing to tell me what your headache meds are? Do you have any advice for the headaches?  No worries if you don't feel like responding.  Thank you!
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I just passed 5 years since my last dose of K…in fact all other drugs I got off of, some I was told I would have to be on for life. Guess what? Wrong! I’m doing great except dealing with my mom being under hospice care. The one good thing about that is if I was like I was 5 years ago I wouldn’t be able to handle mentally or physically my mom’s situation.

The only lingering symptom that remains is tinnitus. It’s still there 24/7, but I try to ignore it, and I really can most of the time. Yea, it’s hard, but the other dozens of symptoms that disappeared make me thankful for the positives.

I try to answer PMs, but don’t check as regularly as I used to. I pray for you guys regularly and know how tough you have it, but hang in there…it’s so great to live again! Just being able to sit and have no thoughts is probably the greatest thing, I remember the benzo brain and the nonstop what if’s. The weird thing is once you come out of the storm, it’s almost like it never happened…like you watched a horrible movie but was able to walk out when it was over…but it was a very long very bad movie. I hope you guys can hang on and make it through, take it moment by moment and like I wrote UL today, we are all different, try not to give up! Once you taste hope again it is amazing!

Love you guys ❤️❤️❤️

“The days are long but the years fly by”

 

B strong

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