Author Topic: Weak Mind  (Read 8858 times)

[Buddie]

Weak Mind
« on: June 16, 2010, 07:04:27 am »
When my mind is in a vulnerable state I feel like I can't even control my thoughts.  I feel mad at people who I was happy with when I saw them last.  I feel thigns that make no sense.  It's really worrying me that i could feel things that don't make sense to be felt.

For instance if I don't get enough sleep (like last night) my mind is weak.  Then I think all these bad and depressing thoughts.  I don't know if it's related to the benzo or not, but I want to think happy thoughts, not feel bad things for no reason at all.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Weak Mind
« Reply #1 on: June 16, 2010, 05:28:34 pm »
Actually, not getting enough sleep is a very good reason to get bad and depressing thoughts.  When that happens to me, it's all I can do to convince myself that it is a temporary condition and that I will feel better one day.  Oh, and I can't concentrate or remember things so I guess that would be a "weak" mind as well.  When I get enough sleep, it all changes.  Hope you start getting some good restoriative sleep, [...].
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Weak Mind
« Reply #2 on: June 16, 2010, 11:49:43 pm »
Hey [...],

You don't have a weak mind; sleep deprivation is the culprit.  Insomnia is brutal, and it fatigues the mind and body.  Your sleep will get better; trust me.  Stay the course.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Weak Mind
« Reply #3 on: June 17, 2010, 02:30:01 am »
Thanks for the responses.  I know others feel terrible without enough sleep, but I feel weak compared to them because they seem to more easily at least function and i start panicking and wondering how would I handle a job like that.

I do remember feeling so so horrible when I was in school and not getting enough sleep though and that was many years before meds so I am hoping indeed that more sleep will help.  I've had a lot of upsetting thigns happen lately and it got me really down and so this sudden ened to go to some early appointments and miss sleep didn'thelp matters a bit.

I'm not so sure my mind had weird thoughts back then though... but maybe.  Can't remember.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Weak Mind
« Reply #4 on: June 17, 2010, 05:22:07 am »
[...]...I totally feel you're pain, I've suffered from insomnia for as long as I can remember.Sometimes intrusive thoughts are so persistant that its hard to get a handle on them.I find it best to always try and remember that what you think isn't always necessarily true especially when you're mind is playing tricks on you from lack of sleep among many other reasons.I constantly have to remind myself "Don't believe every thing you think and don't think everything you believe"...If you do you'll most definitely drive yourself crazy.I also find it helpfull to try my best not to get angry with my thoughts because when I do I get in a really bad mood,feel extremely agitated and take it out on others, who most definitely don't deserve it.
I've gotten to a point were I try to think of these pestering thoughts as an experiment, I try to observe the proses as it happens as crazy as that sounds it works, a thought is just a thought don't let them controll you're life.I've said this before but I'm gonna say it again, if you're mind is playing tricks on you play back.I've asked myself many times as well if there really true or if it's just the pills doing it,it's a strange feeling to believe something yet not believe it all at the same time especially when everything seems to be in overdrive and you're not at the wheel.When I'm in withdrawl it almost seems like someone else is thinking for me and it's a horrible feeling but even if I can't controll my thoughts it's imperative that I control how I act on them,I wouldn't be surprised if it has alot to do with the benzo.Good luck and I hope it get's better for you soon.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Weak Mind
« Reply #5 on: June 18, 2010, 12:28:32 am »
Thanks.  I hope something changes for the better because I hate it.  :(  If I feel too tired of upset to think my brain automatically reverts to thinking I'm in ana rgument with my parents despite not having had an argument with them.  Then I even dumbly told my mom about it so she got defensive and thinks I really believe they did soemthing to ruin my life.  Then later it got into the reality that I did feel abd around them a lot in recent years because I feel uneasy and judged.  Then she got mad and explained they only wanted me happy.  So see my brain being uncontrollable for that time caused a real argument because I was too tried to even know how to handle it and I thought telling her would make her have some magic solution.

Today I got 10 hours sleep, but I still feel uneasy due to recent depressed moods.

By the way I don't really have insomnia exactly.  Imostluy just get on weird schedules so if I need toget up early I don't get enough sleep.

I'm also dealing with a lot of little issues and my health insurance is being taken away.  I HATE intrusive thoughts.  Yes it's just a thought, but if it's something bad then I start panicking and think I'm evil.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Weak Mind
« Reply #6 on: June 18, 2010, 10:54:15 am »
I don't know how people deal with a lot of disabilities when I can't even deal with less.  I met some girl who has tons of health issues along with mental ones.  And in general most people just seem to handle things much better than me.  i panick and think the world has ended easily.

If I could stop with the bad thinking (anger and weird thinking) life would be quite a bit better.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Weak Mind
« Reply #7 on: June 18, 2010, 12:28:56 pm »
Have you given any thought to tapering off the drug (Clonazepam) which may be causing you to feel the way you do?  It might be part of the reason you're having problems with deciding if you'd like to find a job, or dealing with some of your other issues.   
« Last Edit: June 18, 2010, 02:44:48 pm by [Buddie] »
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Weak Mind
« Reply #8 on: June 18, 2010, 11:45:29 pm »
I had those problems before ever taking it.  The only thing really happening while on this which I can't recall happening before it is too easily thinking weird thoughts and bad ones.  Although I'm sure that happened before it too, but it seems more frequent and uncontrollable lately.... and so it may be the med or maybe not.

The reaosn i joined here is I am definitely thinking of tapering.  However it's tough to be sure whether to or not.  Nobody really seems to tell why they're tapering other than if they already were having withdrawal effects.  People say it's poison, but then there reason for it is the effects when "stopping" the med.  Nobody ever seems to explain why they think of it as poison while actually taking their full dose.

When you're on a med and sometimes feel better than ever it's extremely tough to know if quitting it serves a purpsoe or not.  What if I go through months and months of bad withdrawal and then when it's finally over it turns out I have no benefit from having gone through it and still have the same symptoms only worse anxiety?
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Weak Mind
« Reply #9 on: June 19, 2010, 06:44:58 am »
[...]...I most definitely had problems before ever taking a benzo too or else I wouldn't have needed it in the first place.I still remember the first one I ever took, I take one of the more fast acting ones xanax and within 15 minutes of that first pill I thought my life had Been saved, it's amazing the difference it made especially when it came to anxiety,if only I knew then what problems it would cause I would have learned how to deal with my problems allot earlier because eventually it would only make things worse although it took years before I would realize that and by that time it was too late.

Benzos most definitely are "poison" I became so tolerant of the drug that I thought I was going mad, I hadn't even thought about the pills being the problem and my thoughts increasingly became intolerable and out of control I became angry and thought I had gone nut's...it was just my body becoming more and more tolerant I was still taking my regular dose at 2mg plus a day, I had to continually increase my dose because I was experiencing the withdraw effects between doses because my body was so use to the drug, the pill had become my best Friend at this point and I let doctors diagnose me with all sorts of disorders which I never had.I realize now that benzo tolerance is a serious thing I just wish I had of known about it earlier before this drug began to control my life...and my mind...This is why I have to quit.

I wonder too if it's all going to be worth it in the end but after coming here and seeing that so many people are telling the same story over and over again I no longer believe that I'm crazy.I hope that this doesn't keep happening to many more people because the worst thing in the world in my eyes is not being in controll of you're own thoughts and feeling's.The people here at BB have been so understanding and supportive since I joined last week and am now on my way to becoming benzo free...I couldn't have made it this far in such a short time if it wasn't for them, I no longer believe that the world is coming to an end.It's not fair that this has to happen to such good people.

I wish you the best of luck and hope you start feeling better soon :)
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.