Full Time worker support group

Has anyone here taken a sabbatical or taken time off of work briefly and gone back to work? I've been struggling lately with (worse) issues with focus and concentration. It doesn't feel like cog fog. It feels like possible career burnout. I'm 46 and haven't really taken a break, even with withdrawal and tapering. My wife and I are financially well off enough that we wouldn't miss my income for a while, so I'm inclined to take a break finally and clear my head. What they often recommend to software engineers and other white collar professionals that are close to burnout or experiencing burnout.

 

I think it would help me to not think about work for a while. The only thing stopping me, however, is that I'm worried my anxiety would get *worse* when I'm not working. So I'm curious about anyone who has done this and what their experience was. The anxiety is that I'd never be able to get a job again or that my wife would change her mind and leave me or that I wouldn't be able to cope with the time off, possibly counterintuitively. But I know I need it.

 

I would have given ANYTHING if I could've gotten away from work for a while during the taper. I kept telling my wife that I knew without a doubt what it would take for me to heal and how to do it. After a few years of tapering I was totally confident that I had what it took to one day get to the finish line. Unfortunately, I couldn't go down that road because we needed every single penny I could get as income (which was always minimal). We always had very little over the years because I was too sick from all of the psych meds to be able to hold on to a legitimate job, and my wife was/is a school teacher, so her income has always been low. I basically lost 27 years of my life due to doc's orders of psych meds etc and especially high klonopin doses, but I just had to go super slow during the taper process in order to deal with things like work. It took just under 6 years, but no doubt could've been less if I would have been able to walk away from work for a while. Obviously, I would say to take a leave if you can afford it and if you have the discipline to do what's needed to heal, etc. Get it done and do what you need to. I took my last k dose about 3 months ago, but now I'm in a position where I still have a frustrating and very low paying job due to the fact that I'm much older and not trained in most things, so it's hard to find something more satisfying and higher paying. Stepping away for a while to heal sounds great because you'd then be able to get back into your particular game and get up to speed quickly. In other words, don't do what I did!! .  Enjoy your upcoming finish line and keep going. You'll get there!

Ultra 2007 your posts are always so inspiring. I hope you win a lottery, you definitely deserve it.

Ultra 2007 your posts are always so inspiring. I hope you win a lottery, you definitely deserve it.

 

Bless your heart!!!

Happy to find this thread. I took six weeks of vacation because I found myself in tolerance withdrawal from Ambien. In a pretty bad way and can’t imagine going back to work in three more weeks in my current state. Asking if I can get 90 days unpaid leave to sort it out. Ninety days probably won’t be enough but it will give me some breathing room. If I ask for anything longer I may need to substantiate with a doctor. I visited a psych doctor for the first time in my life and told him my story. He diagnosed me with depression and did not attribute my symptoms to tolerance withdrawal. He gave me some Remeron, which I did not take. He said he would write a note that I had depression but nothing related to withdrawal. Has anyone experience in getting support from a doc to take an extended leave, unpaid or otherwise? If so, how did it go? Thanks!

Happy to find this thread. I took six weeks of vacation because I found myself in tolerance withdrawal from Ambien. In a pretty bad way and can’t imagine going back to work in three more weeks in my current state. Asking if I can get 90 days unpaid leave to sort it out. Ninety days probably won’t be enough but it will give me some breathing room. If I ask for anything longer I may need to substantiate with a doctor. I visited a psych doctor for the first time in my life and told him my story. He diagnosed me with depression and did not attribute my symptoms to tolerance withdrawal. He gave me some Remeron, which I did not take. He said he would write a note that I had depression but nothing related to withdrawal. Has anyone experience in getting support from a doc to take an extended leave, unpaid or otherwise? If so, how did it go? Thanks!

 

This doesn't answer your question, but most docs are literally clueless about all of this. I don't trust them or count on them for anything, so I always just make plans based on what I can control. I've found that communicating as openly as possible with others helps in times of need. If I ever needed time off from work, time to be alone and heal etc, then I just spoke with the person(s) in charge (supervisor, for example) and laid it on the line a bit, and asked for their understanding and support. If they were rude or uncaring people, then I lied or only shared a bit of my story that was needed to allow me to get what was needed. I hated to do that, but there are a lot of intolerant people out there that only care about themselves, so I did what I had to at any given moment or situation. Period. Just do what you need to do for you. You'll keep healing and moving on to the next thing in life. By the way, I had a ton better luck with GP's than psychiatrists when it came to having someone support me in a situation or two. They didn't always understand, but I think they saw that I wasn't an idiot trying to take advantage of the system, so things eventually worked out. I had to "shop around" a bit for a GP who would listen, but I found someone! Maybe you could do that during your 90 days. Keep rockin' your way to a better life...

Ultra, great advice as usual. Some people deserve our openness and others don't. We have to find survival strategies in this benzo world.

Thanks Ultra! Sound advice. You affirmed what I’ve been thinking. Gotta do what we gotta do, though sometimes not pretty. I appreciate the support!

Thanks Ultra! Sound advice. You affirmed what I’ve been thinking. Gotta do what we gotta do, though sometimes not pretty. I appreciate the support!

 

Hello all,

 

I wanted to give you all some words of encouragement.  I have been tapering 16 months and I am in my final week of the taper.  I have had every symptom imaginable.  I managed to work (I look back and have no idea how).  I can say it was a great distraction, I think it would have been much worse to focus on the withdrawal symptoms. 

 

Please know you will all get there.  Stay determined, hold your taper if symptoms get rough.  I listened to my body and it paid off.  I know that it can seem never ending, but it will end.  My symptoms have improved dramatically the lower I got in my dose.  I can honestly say that healing takes place while tapering!

 

Remember, your one day closer to freedom today!

 

Good luck everyone!!

Hello all,

 

I wanted to give you all some words of encouragement.  I have been tapering 16 months and I am in my final week of the taper.  I have had every symptom imaginable.  I managed to work (I look back and have no idea how).  I can say it was a great distraction, I think it would have been much worse to focus on the withdrawal symptoms. 

 

Please know you will all get there.  Stay determined, hold your taper if symptoms get rough.  I listened to my body and it paid off.  I know that it can seem never ending, but it will end.  My symptoms have improved dramatically the lower I got in my dose.  I can honestly say that healing takes place while tapering!

 

Remember, your one day closer to freedom today!

 

Good luck everyone!!

 

Congrats to you!!!! Enjoy the victory...

Thank you!  Just dropping my morning dose has been so freeing!!

Thank you!  Just dropping my morning dose has been so freeing!!

 

Congratulations! At what dose did you drop the morning dose? I’m on ~0.085mg K morning and night. Don’t know where to go back to once a day dosing.

 

So exciting for you to be nearly done with the taper!

I dropped the morning dose when I was at .01mg. I literally have two doses left to take...cartwheels on Sunday!!

This is one of those weeks that I don’t know how I can keep going. I need a break. I need time off.

I held my dose for 3 weeks to make a recent road trip vacation tolerable. I tapered a bit quicker this past week to try to catch up. Now I have tingling scalp, tingling knee, eye focus completely out of control, flashes of light, squeezing in my chest, SOB, TMJ pain shooting to ear, GI upset, feelings of doom, racing heart, nausea. I’m so glad it’s Friday. This week was epically difficult.

I’m sick to death of masks, but they do obscure tears at work 😑

 

Keep fighting friends ❤️

 

 

Good for you Seasalt! Thanks for sharing. Tree lover, so sorry to hear you are in pain. I was feeling awful and in panic. I took six weeks vacation and followed that with three months unpaid leave. I’ve nearly tapered off Zolpidem and am in my final week of my taper. I went from 25-30 mgs. a night down to 1.25 mgs. over the past two months. I feel significantly better. Anxiety and feelings of dread have significantly reduced. Almost gone? I jump next week and still have two months remaining to stabilize before I have to return to work. If you can get time off I would try. I was a mess and the time off saved me. I did what I had to do and am so happy I was able to do it. I hope you can too.

John hunter, best of luck to you on your jump!  It appears we have made it.  Everyone here will make it also!

 

Thanks Seasalt! I’m not counting chickens yet but and feeling stronger by the minute. Six weeks ago I thought I would never work again. Today, I’m thinking I can make it. Hang in there everyone!!!!

I'm starting this new post because the previous posts on working and are quite old now.

I am currently off sick and struggling with high anxiety and depression and interacting with others. Trying to hold at 15mg diazepam.

I'm struggling to focus and my memory is messed up.

Soon I will have to face a decision of going back to work or face becoming unemployed. I'm filled with dread at the thought of how I will cope in the workplace as I'm struggling to cope doing basic things at home right now. I know ultimately I will have to make a decision but replies from anyone else facing this kind of dilemma or any support would  be appreciated.

I'm starting this new post because the previous posts on working and are quite old now.

I am currently off sick and struggling with high anxiety and depression and interacting with others. Trying to hold at 15mg diazepam.

I'm struggling to focus and my memory is messed up.

Soon I will have to face a decision of going back to work or face becoming unemployed. I'm filled with dread at the thought of how I will cope in the workplace as I'm struggling to cope doing basic things at home right now. I know ultimately I will have to make a decision but replies from anyone else facing this kind of dilemma or any support would  be appreciated.

 

I think indecision is incredibly stressful, when I can't make up my mind about something I torture myself until I finally do then I feel so much better.  I wonder if you might be suffering from not making a decision about returning to work and it's making your symptoms even worse, stress is a huge contributor to increased symptoms.

 

When I look at your dilemma it strikes me that your decision has likely been made for you and what you may need to do is accept it.  Your financial situation requires you to work, you have a job waiting for you and being unemployed will detrimentally affect your health and your livelihood.

 

In your shoes I would probably do my best to reset my thinking and say, well, I'm going back so I might as well get ready to do this which means gathering the tools I'll need to face this. 

 

This is what I had to do, I had no choice I had to go back to work and I'm incredibly grateful I did.  I explained to you in your other thread some of the tools I used, I'm sure you can find more of them in this thread and when others stop by.

I'm starting this new post because the previous posts on working and are quite old now.

I am currently off sick and struggling with high anxiety and depression and interacting with others. Trying to hold at 15mg diazepam.

I'm struggling to focus and my memory is messed up.

Soon I will have to face a decision of going back to work or face becoming unemployed. I'm filled with dread at the thought of how I will cope in the workplace as I'm struggling to cope doing basic things at home right now. I know ultimately I will have to make a decision but replies from anyone else facing this kind of dilemma or any support would  be appreciated.

 

I think indecision is incredibly stressful, when I can't make up my mind about something I torture myself until I finally do then I feel so much better.  I wonder if you might be suffering from not making a decision about returning to work and it's making your symptoms even worse, stress is a huge contributor to increased symptoms.

 

When I look at your dilemma it strikes me that your decision has likely been made for you and what you may need to do is accept it.  Your financial situation requires you to work, you have a job waiting for you and being unemployed will detrimentally affect your health and your livelihood.

 

In your shoes I would probably do my best to reset my thinking and say, well, I'm going back so I might as well get ready to do this which means gathering the tools I'll need to face this. 

 

This is what I had to do, I had no choice I had to go back to work and I'm incredibly grateful I did.  I explained to you in your other thread some of the tools I used, I'm sure you can find more of them in this thread and when others stop by.

 

Pamster’s advice here is really solid IMO. I also had no choice but to work. It was brutal and I returned to work during acute withdrawal. I have absolutely no idea how the hell I survived but I did. Through no fault of my own I was also a terrible employee, lol. But I was just good enough not to get fired and that is really all we need to be to put food on the table. It sucks to be pushing harder than everyone else and getting substandard results. No one will understand. But you can come here at the end of the day and we will treat you like you deserve to be treated. IMO people that work through benzo withdrawal are an the toughest of the tough. We appear weak to the uninformed but most of them couldn’t work through the sniffles. I am glad I worked through my withdrawal because it kept me from dwelling and gave me a sense of self worth. I am very proud of what I overcame to remain employed throughout these past few years. That sense of pride really helps with the mental health aspect of withdrawal. I also believe that the physical activity and stimultion of working forces out CNS to repair itself at a faster pace.

I agree , we are the toughest of the tough. I work as a general sales manager and how I was able to push through when I felt like I was in a tornado of anxiety and other weirdness is still hard me to believe when ever I think about the early days. I have been back to work for 19 months now and I still struggle with some weirdness but I just keep grinding it out.

Harmonia71, I feel for you! I am/was exactly where you are now. I was at the end of my rope and was fortunate that I could take six weeks off. I then asked for and was granted 90 days unpaid leave. In my time off I managed to taper off Zolpidem and jump 11 days ago. My anxiety is largely gone and the dark thoughts and feelings of dread I had have largely dissipated. I believe taking Ashwaganda helped with the anxiety. It took about six weeks to kick in but I really do feel better. I'm still off work but now feeling like I will soon be ready to go back. In June, I felt I would never be able to work again. I could hardly get through the day. Don't give up. See if you can get some more time off it you need it. It certainly made all the difference for me. Hang in there and do what you gotta do.

Thanks for the replies...I would like to be able to take more time off...I'm feeling hopeless at the moment...I have to force myself out the door today to get my prescriptions.

Do what you can Harmonia. Check out the Family Medical Leave Act to see if you are eligible. You can get up to 90 days unpaid leave if you qualify. You might need a note from your doc but 90 days to concentrate on your recovery would sure help. Praying for you.

Oh man. I'm so sorry you are in this situation.  I'm tapering and working. I have a lot of symptoms but for some strange reason, working is a nice distraction.  It's really hard.  You could always try and take one day at a time.