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Hi all,

 

Another full time worker here, currently working from home due to COVID.  It's been a huge challenge to keep working through the taper, as I've been experiencing so much cognitive fog and memory issues.  My work requires me to keep track of quite a bit of information, deal directly with people (now on Zoom or the like), and generally work at a high level cognitively.  My job involves providing emotional support to other people, which I usually love being able to do, but it can become very hard when I'm doing everything I can just to keep my own head above water.

 

Every day, now, I feel like I'm faking it and worry I will not be able to fake it one more day and will eventually lose my job.  I use every bit of positive self talk, affirmation, etc. I can muster, but when I drop the ball on something or make a stupid mistake, it's very very hard not to go into a negative place, feel ashamed, and really struggle -- all while trying to act is if everything is just fine.  I've also tried using strategies like writing everything, and I basically mean EVERYTHING, down, yet I still manage to forget things.  Then it becomes very hard not to worry that this is some kind of permanent condition, not taper related. 

 

I really loved this job before I started having all these withdrawal related (I hope) problems.  Now, I just take it one day at a time.

 

Anyway, I'm very glad to have found this group.  I've read every single post here, starting from page 1, and am impressed at everyone who is making it through withdrawal/tapering while continuing to work full time.  It's nice to feel not alone.

 

Haimona

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Hi all,

 

Another full time worker here, currently working from home due to COVID.  It's been a huge challenge to keep working through the taper, as I've been experiencing so much cognitive fog and memory issues.  My work requires me to keep track of quite a bit of information, deal directly with people (now on Zoom or the like), and generally work at a high level cognitively.  My job involves providing emotional support to other people, which I usually love being able to do, but it can become very hard when I'm doing everything I can just to keep my own head above water.

 

Every day, now, I feel like I'm faking it and worry I will not be able to fake it one more day and will eventually lose my job.  I use every bit of positive self talk, affirmation, etc. I can muster, but when I drop the ball on something or make a stupid mistake, it's very very hard not to go into a negative place, feel ashamed, and really struggle -- all while trying to act is if everything is just fine.  I've also tried using strategies like writing everything, and I basically mean EVERYTHING, down, yet I still manage to forget things.  Then it becomes very hard not to worry that this is some kind of permanent condition, not taper related. 

 

I really loved this job before I started having all these withdrawal related (I hope) problems.  Now, I just take it one day at a time.

 

Anyway, I'm very glad to have found this group.  I've read every single post here, starting from page 1, and am impressed at everyone who is making it through withdrawal/tapering while continuing to work full time.  It's nice to feel not alone.

 

Haimona

 

Hi Haimona. Wellcome to the group and congrats for being able to manage a job and a benzo taper.

 

FWIW, I've been holding for a long time and I'm planning to hold for as long as it takes to keep my life in order. It seems like I'm feeling a bit better this  past week. I won't cut any time soon. I've seen some buddies hold a year and a half or two years. I'm going for that. My finances and motherhood are my absolute priority now. The taper can wait. I do hope to be able to taper in the future though, if my brain stabilizes and if life gives me a break.

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Hi all,

 

Another full time worker here, currently working from home due to COVID.  It's been a huge challenge to keep working through the taper, as I've been experiencing so much cognitive fog and memory issues.  My work requires me to keep track of quite a bit of information, deal directly with people (now on Zoom or the like), and generally work at a high level cognitively.  My job involves providing emotional support to other people, which I usually love being able to do, but it can become very hard when I'm doing everything I can just to keep my own head above water.

 

Every day, now, I feel like I'm faking it and worry I will not be able to fake it one more day and will eventually lose my job.  I use every bit of positive self talk, affirmation, etc. I can muster, but when I drop the ball on something or make a stupid mistake, it's very very hard not to go into a negative place, feel ashamed, and really struggle -- all while trying to act is if everything is just fine.  I've also tried using strategies like writing everything, and I basically mean EVERYTHING, down, yet I still manage to forget things.  Then it becomes very hard not to worry that this is some kind of permanent condition, not taper related. 

 

I really loved this job before I started having all these withdrawal related (I hope) problems.  Now, I just take it one day at a time.

 

Anyway, I'm very glad to have found this group.  I've read every single post here, starting from page 1, and am impressed at everyone who is making it through withdrawal/tapering while continuing to work full time.  It's nice to feel not alone.

 

Haimona

 

Hey! Welcome! I'm in a similar boat, but I just take it an hour at a time. I don't have the luxury of working at home, so it's tough to fake it around others most of the time. I've been tapering over 5 years, so my cog fog is pretty far off the charts at times. I hope to be off in a few months, and I'm also hoping that my cog fog is related to the taper and that I get clear-minded soon after jumping. We'll all forge ahead. Hang in there!

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  • 2 weeks later...

Valiumnomore and Ultra2007,

 

Thanks for the welcomes.  I'm so glad it's the weekend again.  I realized today that it's been almost a year since I started having cog fog and memory issues when I tapered down from .5 to .375 mg of ativan, and every time I think about how long it's been I get scared all over again that this is a permanent thing.  But somehow I trudge through every day, feeling like a shell of what I was but continuing to fake it. 

 

I hope you guys are doing okay.

 

Haimona

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Valiumnomore and Ultra2007,

 

Thanks for the welcomes.  I'm so glad it's the weekend again.  I realized today that it's been almost a year since I started having cog fog and memory issues when I tapered down from .5 to .375 mg of ativan, and every time I think about how long it's been I get scared all over again that this is a permanent thing.  But somehow I trudge through every day, feeling like a shell of what I was but continuing to fake it. 

 

I hope you guys are doing okay.

 

Haimona

 

Haimona don't worry, we're all faking it as best we can. I'm sure you're doing much better than you thing. One this that is true is that people hardly notice there's anything wrong with you, even when you think you're dying or on an LSD trip or both. I just tell myself "stick to the to do list". Of course this is not possible in extreme stages of wd but as soon as it can be done, I think it's all we can do, and it does seem to work for many.

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Valiumnomore and Ultra2007,

 

Thanks for the welcomes.  I'm so glad it's the weekend again.  I realized today that it's been almost a year since I started having cog fog and memory issues when I tapered down from .5 to .375 mg of ativan, and every time I think about how long it's been I get scared all over again that this is a permanent thing.  But somehow I trudge through every day, feeling like a shell of what I was but continuing to fake it. 

 

I hope you guys are doing okay.

 

Haimona

 

I agree with valium...you're probably doing a ton better than you realize. We're our own worst critic at times. One foot at a time, you'll get there!!

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Hi I'm fairly new here and still working fulltime.

 

Thankfully, with covid, I've been able to work from home.

I just move from the bed to my chair and then back to bed.

I do Microsoft Teams and WebEx mtgs and frequently just say my camera won't work, I turn it on, if I'm doing ok that day etc.

 

I'm just at the beginning and I'm trying to stabilize, since a crazy rapid taper in July - stupid I didn't know any better.

 

I need to keep working, as we need the money etc.

 

I'm sure most of you are in a similar situation.

 

anyway, just wanted to say hi!

 

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Hi I'm fairly new here and still working fulltime.

 

Thankfully, with covid, I've been able to work from home.

I just move from the bed to my chair and then back to bed.

I do Microsoft Teams and WebEx mtgs and frequently just say my camera won't work, I turn it on, if I'm doing ok that day etc.

 

I'm just at the beginning and I'm trying to stabilize, since a crazy rapid taper in July - stupid I didn't know any better.

 

I need to keep working, as we need the money etc.

 

I'm sure most of you are in a similar situation.

 

anyway, just wanted to say hi!

 

Just stick with it and do what your body needs to heal. It's unfortunate that you had a rapid taper, but at least you have the blessing of working from home. I'm still kind of a mess (but better than a year ago!), but I have to go in to work each day and fake it as if all is great. It's a brutal existence, but you and I will be fine. Rest and recover, count your/our blessings, and move on! My sincere best to you :)

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HI after only two months use (stupid dr) I CT not know anything.  I reinstated on Diazapam and tapering. I'm not functional and thank goodness due to covid I am able to work from home. I'm totally like that too. I'll turn my camera off during long meetings and just lay my head down on the couch and listen. Im thankful that for now I'm able to function and work for my family.  I put a smile on during zoom meeting and a tad of makeup and put a big smile on my face.
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  • 3 weeks later...

Haven't been on here for a while, but not having the best time as just did another big drop in my taper. Like many others here, perversely I feel COVID saved my job over the past few months. I've also an on and off heavy drinker (I know, I'm not meant to drink, and I try, but keep having slip ups - 25 days without a drink was my best shot), and some days during lockdown I reckon I would have lost my job, but I can hide behind teams calls with no camera, and chat and email. I'm back in the office half the time now, which is tough, but I think it's actually given me a renewed purpose to sort this out. Without the 5 year-ish history. Here is what my taper has looked like the past couple of months - 2 weeks for every drop:

 

September - 30, 25, 20mg diazepam

October - 20, 15, 10mg diazepam

 

Feeling the pain a bit having just dropped to 10mg. I was offered 12mg, but thought I'd be brave. As I read on here, I'm just suffering a bit of "taper flu" and it will pass. dropping to 8mg in 2 weeks. Aiming to see in the new year benzo free...

 

Good luck all you workers. We can do this!

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Hi Oboe, nice to have you here. I'd slow down in the lower doses or at least pay attention to your body. I'm sorry to hear you're also struggling with alcohol issues. I think that would be another reason to go more slowly but I'll support you whatever you decide. Kudos for being another working hero.
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Thanks valiumnomore. I'm definitely going to slow my taper now. Might even just hold at 10mg for a while. More lockdown, but being a key worker, I will probably be required to still go in the office a bit. I have to say, I welcome the news from a work and taper point of view!
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Thanks valiumnomore. I'm definitely going to slow my taper now. Might even just hold at 10mg for a while. More lockdown, but being a key worker, I will probably be required to still go in the office a bit. I have to say, I welcome the news from a work and taper point of view!

 

Oboe I'm sure you'll manage. Try to quit alcohol altogether. It's terrible for the receptors. You can make a search on the forum on alcohol.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi guys, I'm posting in here because I need some help.

I got a job a few months ago (like almost 6) everything seemed OK until I started noticing my boss is bipolar. I am a dental assistant and I have to be with him almost 24/7. He is an old man that only cares about patients money (what a surprise!) But here is the real issue: He is VERY disrespectful, to the point of pushing me away and taking away instruments in an aggressive way because he is upset with patients. When work ends, he is very nice and even buys us dinner....I was reading some reviews on google and some patients complained about him being very aggressive towards the staff in front of them, and that he was recommending treatments that they didn't need, but that was like a few years ago.

I am very very upset....oh and on top of that he doesn't give us over time or 10 minute breaks (which are required by law!) apparently he has some kind of "agreement" with his lawyers and helped him get away with having us work 40 hours in 4 days a week.

I started having HORRIBLE HEADACHES AND NAUSEA. I had to take medication for the nausea because it was very bad, I thought it might be my blood pressure but it was fine, this is definitely stress related.

 

I can't believe he pushed me away, that is considered battery... I don't know what to do, i want to quit but I have bills to pay, I am looking for another place but nothing seems to show... I am very upset....

 

Blossom

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Hi guys, I'm posting in here because I need some help.

I got a job a few months ago (like almost 6) everything seemed OK until I started noticing my boss is bipolar. I am a dental assistant and I have to be with him almost 24/7. He is an old man that only cares about patients money (what a surprise!) But here is the real issue: He is VERY disrespectful, to the point of pushing me away and taking away instruments in an aggressive way because he is upset with patients. When work ends, he is very nice and even buys us dinner....I was reading some reviews on google and some patients complained about him being very aggressive towards the staff in front of them, and that he was recommending treatments that they didn't need, but that was like a few years ago.

I am very very upset....oh and on top of that he doesn't give us over time or 10 minute breaks (which are required by law!) apparently he has some kind of "agreement" with his lawyers and helped him get away with having us work 40 hours in 4 days a week.

I started having HORRIBLE HEADACHES AND NAUSEA. I had to take medication for the nausea because it was very bad, I thought it might be my blood pressure but it was fine, this is definitely stress related.

 

I can't believe he pushed me away, that is considered battery... I don't know what to do, i want to quit but I have bills to pay, I am looking for another place but nothing seems to show... I am very upset....

 

Blossom

 

Sorry to say but you have to toughen up if you are going to work with someone like this. You have to call him out EVERY time he is acting like this. It had to be done in a passive aggressive joking manner. Everyone I work with is like the guy you are describing. It’s hard to write in a post exactly how to handle it. However, if you are even thinking about things like it being battery then you have a long way to go. If someone puts their hands on me at work I would laugh, say take it easy maniac, ask them jokingly if they wanna fight or ask them if their wife made them sleep on the couch last night. If they said yes I’d tell them they probably deserved it if they were acting like this. It’s ribbing. It works 99 percent of the time if you follow one rule. You have to stay calm. You can not get mad at them. Threats will not work. DO NOT say “That is battery” or anything like that. Remember you can not change this guy. But if you change your mindset and learn how to disarm him you will make his day better and yours as well. This is something that has always come naturally to me but I assure you it can be done and when you master dealing with people like this it lowers your stress levels massively and makes even work days with these guys fun. I would tell this guy to his face while laughing, You are the angriest man I have ever met, lol, what can I do? You want me to get you a sandwich or something? He will get mad and then say something like How about you just do your job? That is when you need to be completely calm and giggle and say Alright, alright, just playing around, what do you want me to do next? If you follow this pattern over and over he will get increasingly used to you being a wise ass and it would calm him down. He will likely even start to laugh on occasion. This works just about one hundred percent of the time. However, it really depends on you and whether you feel you have thr personality to pull this off. Remember, don’t be intimidated. The worst that can happen is you get fired and it would be silly to fear losing a job you are considering quitting. However, if done right you will be fine. I work with really tough dudes and you can soften them, I promise.

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Hi guys, I'm posting in here because I need some help.

I got a job a few months ago (like almost 6) everything seemed OK until I started noticing my boss is bipolar. I am a dental assistant and I have to be with him almost 24/7. He is an old man that only cares about patients money (what a surprise!) But here is the real issue: He is VERY disrespectful, to the point of pushing me away and taking away instruments in an aggressive way because he is upset with patients. When work ends, he is very nice and even buys us dinner....I was reading some reviews on google and some patients complained about him being very aggressive towards the staff in front of them, and that he was recommending treatments that they didn't need, but that was like a few years ago.

I am very very upset....oh and on top of that he doesn't give us over time or 10 minute breaks (which are required by law!) apparently he has some kind of "agreement" with his lawyers and helped him get away with having us work 40 hours in 4 days a week.

I started having HORRIBLE HEADACHES AND NAUSEA. I had to take medication for the nausea because it was very bad, I thought it might be my blood pressure but it was fine, this is definitely stress related.

 

I can't believe he pushed me away, that is considered battery... I don't know what to do, i want to quit but I have bills to pay, I am looking for another place but nothing seems to show... I am very upset....

 

Blossom

 

Sorry to say but you have to toughen up if you are going to work with someone like this. You have to call him out EVERY time he is acting like this. It had to be done in a passive aggressive joking manner. Everyone I work with is like the guy you are describing. It’s hard to write in a post exactly how to handle it. However, if you are even thinking about things like it being battery then you have a long way to go. If someone puts their hands on me at work I would laugh, say take it easy maniac, ask them jokingly if they wanna fight or ask them if their wife made them sleep on the couch last night. If they said yes I’d tell them they probably deserved it if they were acting like this. It’s ribbing. It works 99 percent of the time if you follow one rule. You have to stay calm. You can not get mad at them. Threats will not work. DO NOT say “That is battery” or anything like that. Remember you can not change this guy. But if you change your mindset and learn how to disarm him you will make his day better and yours as well. This is something that has always come naturally to me but I assure you it can be done and when you master dealing with people like this it lowers your stress levels massively and makes even work days with these guys fun. I would tell this guy to his face while laughing, You are the angriest man I have ever met, lol, what can I do? You want me to get you a sandwich or something? He will get mad and then say something like How about you just do your job? That is when you need to be completely calm and giggle and say Alright, alright, just playing around, what do you want me to do next? If you follow this pattern over and over he will get increasingly used to you being a wise ass and it would calm him down. He will likely even start to laugh on occasion. This works just about one hundred percent of the time. However, it really depends on you and whether you feel you have thr personality to pull this off. Remember, don’t be intimidated. The worst that can happen is you get fired and it would be silly to fear losing a job you are considering quitting. However, if done right you will be fine. I work with really tough dudes and you can soften them, I promise.

Jack thank you a million for your response!!!

I wish I would've read this before I quit lol. Tuesday is my last day, luckily, I got another job, this time with a female dentist. Hopefully things will run smoothly this time.

I tried at first to be a little bit like you said (passive aggressive) but I don't have a lot of practice so I let the anger win. He would get SUPER ANGRY, everytime I'd smile and take things calmly...but like VERY ANGRY. Then since he was that angry I got angry with him and started acting like a jerk....of course this didn't work at all...

Last time he asked me for a sterile syringe (we have 2 types), I brought him one of them (both work the SAME!!) and he yelled at me saying that wasn't the right one. I told him "well you asked for a sterile syringe right? this is a sterile syringe" and he said yelling: "that's not sterile!!!" I said yes, it is sterile it says on the package.

he kept saying that wasn't a sterile syringe and I sort of yelled at him back saying "that is a sterile syringe, don't tell me this is not sterile...... it says on the package!" so things heated up a little bit and the son (who also works there and is also a jerk) went to see what was going on, I told him and he agreed that that was a sterile syringe..... Dr senior got out of his mind and then started yelling that he wanted the other one, I replied well that's different, if you want the other one then tell me but don't tell me that this is not a sterile syringe.........

So he calmed down after a while of yelling and that's when I decided to quit.... I've never EVER in my life had dealt with someone like this....on top of that I am in the middle of a wave. I started having gastritis again but I think it's because all the stress this guy put me through.. my eyes are dry and I'm developing a chalazion on my left eye

 

ARGH!

 

thank you so much Jack, I really appreciate your help

(the couch thing was so funny LOL!!)

Blossom

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Miss Fortitude- I'm sorry about your balance issues. 

I have found myself in a lucky position. Although I hate covid and the isolation, I've been able to taper from home.  This has allowed me to take work at a slow pace... even lay down during meetings and such.  So far, I've been able to keep my job during this taper.  I feel lucky and we are not at risk of catching covid.  My husband works from home and my three kids are doing online. 

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Miss Fortitude- I'm sorry about your balance issues. 

I have found myself in a lucky position. Although I hate covid and the isolation, I've been able to taper from home.  This has allowed me to take work at a slow pace... even lay down during meetings and such.  So far, I've been able to keep my job during this taper.  I feel lucky and we are not at risk of catching covid.  My husband works from home and my three kids are doing online.

 

So glad to hear of your situation that makes work manageable for you and safe. I actually was vertigo & dizziness free at month 8 after my last Ativan. Being free of those symptoms for 8 months. They were gone until I got the flu shot. Then the those symptoms came back. The first few nights it was bad. Not as bad as when I was in tolerance & acute withdrawal, but bad. They are slowly starting to subside again.

 

I am not telling you this to be afraid of a flu shot. Everyone is different. BUT , what I am telling you is that the dizziness, vertigo, symptoms WILL go away. I was feeling boatyness 24/7 too.

 

It does go away. I know the flu vaccine aggravated my system, but it will go away again.

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Miss

How long did you have the boatyness?

Working is so tricky with this. I’ve had it months at a time over and over.

Seems worse the lower I go with K.

 

 

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Miss

How long did you have the boatyness?

Working is so tricky with this. I’ve had it months at a time over and over.

Seems worse the lower I go with K.

 

Tree lover,

 

My boatiness & dizziness started in tolerance, but I had no idea what tolerance even was back then, nor did I have any clue of the danger I was in with benzos. Like everyone else, and like my doctor told me, I thought it was a "safe medication". I never suspected the Ativan was the very cause of my vestibular symptoms. I learned everything in hindsite. The thing is I also took Ativan pretty infrequently. Only about 2 pills in a 30 day span. It was moreso around the holidays when I had to deal with family. My mess of a family (parent & sibling) is why I ended up taking a benzo to begin with. During those harder holiday times I still only took about 4 pills in one month, but I did this for about 5 years.

 

I woke up one night in the spring of 2018 with the room spinning. It was one episode, with no residual dizziness at all. Then 5 months later it happened again and it was bad. The residual dizziness from that hung on for many months. Then about 2 months later the tinnitus started. Ever since then I've had tinnitus 24/7. That has not stopped yet, but it's pretty faint & I don't notice it much.

 

Of course I saw an ENT, Audiologist, Neurologist, had a brain MRI & vestibular testing - all normal. Not one doctor ever questioned the Ativan. No one did. Not even me. In hind site, I know better. It was DEFINITELY the Ativan.

 

To answer your question the "boaty" feeling started Oct. of 2018 after what I call "the big one" with the room spinning in the middle of the night, during what I did not know at the time was tolerance. I actually did not stop the Ativan until 8 months after "the big one"  when I had to cold turkey it in May of 2019 (which I do not recommend) because of a reaction I had to a one time dose of Reglan in the ER for a migraine (See my signature). If it was not for that medication reaction that I had to the Reglan, I have no idea when or even if I would have figured out that Ativan was doing damage. The boatiness stopped at the end of February 2020. So that would actually be 9 months after my last Ativan. So, altogether including during tolerance, I was dizzy/different degrees of vertigo/boaty feeling for approx 16 months.

 

The boaty vertigo started to fade away the end of February 2020. It faded in just a matter of a couple of days, then it was gone. I will never forget this because my boatiness was/is worse when sitting & laying down. It was hard to even just sit on a couch and watch TV, or even a lawn chair outside, so it was quite the celebratory moment when it was gone. It was gone for 8 months - until the flu shot.

 

I think it's a symptom of a down regulated gaba receptor. The tinnitus too. The flu shot in general fires up our systems making antibodies. That's how it works in simple terms. Obviously my system is still too sensitive for things like that.

 

Since it went away before, I know it will go away again. It's been about 5 1/2 weeks since the flu shot and I'm much better. I've learned a thing or two about withdrawal since the vertigo/boatiness returned. Like how stress and processed food are "no nos". These things fire it up for me. Since I don't have all of the other symptoms like I did in acute withdrawal now. (Yep, I had all of that too .. the intrusive thoughts, inner tremors, akathasia, insensitivities to noise, lights etc etc feeling doom, couldn't be around people except my husband, etc) Now that it's just the vertigo I can really see how stress will worsen it. Even just eating something like mozzarella sticks too. If I look at a package ingredients for food and it has a bunch of words that I can hardly pronounce than I should not be eating it. Whole unprocessed foods is the way to go.

 

I am improving with every week. I can do some chores around the house now, and work a few hours a week from home. Right after the flu shot set back my husband took off work to stay home and care for me, but now I take some walks outside & it's still a bit of a challenge. Especially at night, but I'm getting there. Gotta let those gaba receptors up regulate.

 

Baylissa Frederick's book "Recovery & Renewal" really helped me because she too had the dizziness & vertigo as one of her persistent symptoms. I'm re-reading parts of her book now.

 

It's kind of a bummer because I was 90% healed before this set back. I only had fatigue and the tinnitus and some balance issues with heights like ladders and walking on tall brigdes. I thought I would be writing my Success Story this December. This is why it's important to not put a "time expectation" on ourselves. It's best to take it day by day, have acceptance & live in the present.

 

Needless to say, because of what I've learned, this time around I'm doing a lot more "self care" time. Movie watching, drawing, reading, crosswords, meditation 🧘‍♀️  and "me time". Keeping calm, taking comfort in tranquil moments and being outside in nature even if it means just a short walk up the street. These things are so healing.

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Wow thank you for the response!

So glad it cleared up for you - I am sure it will again 🙏🏼

 

I have some TMJ things going on as well that compound my balance issues.

Once my teeth (braces) get settled I’m hoping it all calms down.

I will check out Baylissa’s book.

 

🙏🏼

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  • 7 months later...

Has anyone here taken a sabbatical or taken time off of work briefly and gone back to work? I've been struggling lately with (worse) issues with focus and concentration. It doesn't feel like cog fog. It feels like possible career burnout. I'm 46 and haven't really taken a break, even with withdrawal and tapering. My wife and I are financially well off enough that we wouldn't miss my income for a while, so I'm inclined to take a break finally and clear my head. What they often recommend to software engineers and other white collar professionals that are close to burnout or experiencing burnout.

 

I think it would help me to not think about work for a while. The only thing stopping me, however, is that I'm worried my anxiety would get *worse* when I'm not working. So I'm curious about anyone who has done this and what their experience was. The anxiety is that I'd never be able to get a job again or that my wife would change her mind and leave me or that I wouldn't be able to cope with the time off, possibly counterintuitively. But I know I need it.

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  • 2 weeks later...

StephenDedalus,

 

I don't know the answer to your question, but I'm in much the same place as you right now.  Also struggling with a gut sense that I really NEED to take some time away from work (and I could afford to do so for a while), but afraid I would just sit around and be anxious, and/or that I would never be able to work again.  It's been so hard pushing through each day during w/d and with all the symptoms of that, and I feel like I've been getting worse instead of better, so I know there's a part of me that feels like if I leave, I'm giving in or giving up or something.  But like you, I know I need to.

 

I hope you and I both figure it out soon.

 

Hai

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Hi all,

I just wanted to say that I did leave my job due to tolerance/withdrawal issues.

 

I think that if this is something that you are considering, make sure that you have a bunch of projects that you will be able to do while not working and set some goals to work towards during your time off.

 

We were in the process of purchasing a new property/moving/re-settling in a new area when I started my taper. I have been holding since before the move so that I would not have to worry about tapering during the move.

 

I am now still holding awaiting a Psych appt as my anxiety has increased over time. Whether the anxiety is due to not working (now that we are settled) or just part of the withdrawal process is hard to determine.

 

I have now made myself a small list of projects that I can do to keep myself busy-ish and am focusing on up-skilling as well as small projects around the home (some physical and some mental, so I can pick and choose depending on symptoms).

I am finding that this is helping a lot with distraction and a sense of achievement.

 

I hope that this is of some help and wish everyone a tolerable taper  ;)

 

 

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