Full Time worker support group

GUESS WHAT!  I work in a school district and I was just approved to do online lesson planning from HOME!  I thought I was going to lose my carreer.  I am able to focus on healing and keep doing what I love (in some capacity)!  Just wanted to share.

 

So happy for you!!

TG: 

I've been working pt doing contract work..its been harder this month. I think its bc of deadlines or expectations. Or me bc I can't do things as easily as I did before this benzo mess.

 

Like painting two bedrooms - I used to be able to do in my sleep. Now it makes me want to cry sometimes bc I feel overwhelmed. I'm realizing I may need to shelf my plans of going back to social work for a while longer. 

 

Kudos to you all out there working while in this mess!!

Thanks everyone.  Trina, Don't feel bad.  I would not be able to work if I wasn't able to do part-time.  NO WAY could I walk around and interact with a bunch of people for hours.  Give yourself grace. 

hey trina

 

only reason im able to work now is because im alone 80 percent of the time or else i wouldnt be able to. dont be hard on your self keep yourself busy with what you can do! trust the process one moment at a time

thanks guys..You know how it is..you just want to be "you" again and function like you used to.

I hate being alone, but then too much people is overstimulating.

 

I finished the contract job I had. I've been putting in PT hours. The other day had to do 8 hrs straight to finish it up for the deadline. Good thing I was alone for a lot of it bc I cried off and on that day. So overwhelmed. Anyway, its done now. I can chill a bit till the next one. 

thanks guys..You know how it is..you just want to be "you" again and function like you used to.

I hate being alone, but then too much people is overstimulating.

 

I finished the contract job I had. I've been putting in PT hours. The other day had to do 8 hrs straight to finish it up for the deadline. Good thing I was alone for a lot of it bc I cried off and on that day. So overwhelmed. Anyway, its done now. I can chill a bit till the next one. 

 

Hang in there! If ECT was ever involved, then that's a whole new ball game in addition to the benzo, right? Mercy! Still praying for healing from that ordeal. You're brave to be working at all. I think, all in all, it's a good thing. Working full-time is crushing my scrotum, but gotta survive the real world. See ya at the finish!

thanks guys..You know how it is..you just want to be "you" again and function like you used to.

I hate being alone, but then too much people is overstimulating.

 

I finished the contract job I had. I've been putting in PT hours. The other day had to do 8 hrs straight to finish it up for the deadline. Good thing I was alone for a lot of it bc I cried off and on that day. So overwhelmed. Anyway, its done now. I can chill a bit till the next one. 

 

Hang in there! If ECT was ever involved, then that's a whole new ball game in addition to the benzo, right? Mercy! Still praying for healing from that ordeal. You're brave to be working at all. I think, all in all, it's a good thing. Working full-time is crushing my scrotum, but gotta survive the real world. See ya at the finish!

 

Ultra your posts are so optimistic always, I love it. May I ask what dose are you down to? My cuts are so painful after so much kindling... But you don't seem to lose hope!

thanks guys..You know how it is..you just want to be "you" again and function like you used to.

I hate being alone, but then too much people is overstimulating.

 

I finished the contract job I had. I've been putting in PT hours. The other day had to do 8 hrs straight to finish it up for the deadline. Good thing I was alone for a lot of it bc I cried off and on that day. So overwhelmed. Anyway, its done now. I can chill a bit till the next one. 

 

Hang in there! If ECT was ever involved, then that's a whole new ball game in addition to the benzo, right? Mercy! Still praying for healing from that ordeal. You're brave to be working at all. I think, all in all, it's a good thing. Working full-time is crushing my scrotum, but gotta survive the real world. See ya at the finish!

 

Ultra your posts are so optimistic always, I love it. May I ask what dose are you down to? My cuts are so painful after so much kindling... But you don't seem to lose hope!

 

Bless ya, my sweet child!! You might laugh, but I'm at .015 mg/day. Most people say, "jump, you idiot", but many other users that were/are long-term users like me (now on year 26) had to go much farther down than where I currently am. If I'm feeling cuts this bad at this dose, then I'm not ready to jump. A doctor friend of mine told me years back that most long-term users who were on super high doses of k usually take it all the way down to pixy dust before they can attempt a jump. Hey, when does your next contract job begin?

 

Hugs!

Ultra..yup we both went the ect route. I don't even want to think about that....(theres some memories it took that I would like back..sigh)

thanks for your positive input

 

Keep telling myself that there is neuroplasticity in the brain 

Ultra..yup we both went the ect route. I don't even want to think about that....(theres some memories it took that I would like back..sigh)

thanks for your positive input

 

Keep telling myself that there is neuroplasticity in the brain 

 

Neuroplasticity...that's great! I had forgotten about that (no pun). Well, I guess it is what it is until it isn't. We'll get there and we'll keep growing. When growth stops, decay sets in, so let's keep going! I truly hope you have a symptom-free day.

 

Hugs,

Jeff

Ultra2007 I'm sure you're doing the right thing by making sure you walk off even if that means one more year cutting your low dose. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to cut again. Unfortunately last summer I tapered myself into acute wd which could have killed me. It took me ages to get out of that state. Unfortunately I've never stabilized from that. I've ended up in that state they call protracted due to the glutamate damage, but without being off the medication. I have many responsibilities so becoming disabled in order to taper is not an option. I'm already mentally disabled to some extent although I hide it well from others. This is hell, you have to deal with stress with this brain injury. Oh well. Not my best day. I just feel I'm so unstable I won't be able to taper again. I don't believe in tolerance withdrawal which is a term some people throw around. This is plain glutamate damage.

Ultra2007 I'm sure you're doing the right thing by making sure you walk off even if that means one more year cutting your low dose. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to cut again. Unfortunately last summer I tapered myself into acute wd which could have killed me. It took me ages to get out of that state. Unfortunately I've never stabilized from that. I've ended up in that state they call protracted due to the glutamate damage, but without being off the medication. I have many responsibilities so becoming disabled in order to taper is not an option. I'm already mentally disabled to some extent although I hide it well from others. This is hell, you have to deal with stress with this brain injury. Oh well. Not my best day. I just feel I'm so unstable I won't be able to taper again. I don't believe in tolerance withdrawal which is a term some people throw around. This is plain glutamate damage.

 

Hang in there Val. I know these are very, very tough days for all of us with the craziness of COVID. I do believe the brain does heal it just takes longer than we want it to. I know you cut recently, how are you doing?

Ultra2007 I'm sure you're doing the right thing by making sure you walk off even if that means one more year cutting your low dose. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to cut again. Unfortunately last summer I tapered myself into acute wd which could have killed me. It took me ages to get out of that state. Unfortunately I've never stabilized from that. I've ended up in that state they call protracted due to the glutamate damage, but without being off the medication. I have many responsibilities so becoming disabled in order to taper is not an option. I'm already mentally disabled to some extent although I hide it well from others. This is hell, you have to deal with stress with this brain injury. Oh well. Not my best day. I just feel I'm so unstable I won't be able to taper again. I don't believe in tolerance withdrawal which is a term some people throw around. This is plain glutamate damage.

 

I know you feel like you'll never be able to taper again, but one day at a time. Maybe you won't be able to taper anytime soon, but maybe a time will come when you can take a tiny piece out of one of your doses and then hold for a few weeks to see how things go. Cutting even a tiny amount over the course of a month is still "decreasing". I know because I've had many months when all I could do was cut one tiny fraction amount and then hold for the remainder of the month, then do the same thing in another month or two. Sometimes I think the hardest part of the journey is from the neck up. Find something to focus on that uplifts you a bit...that'll fuel good things into your mind. When you know better you do better

 

Hang on tight!

 

 

Thank you Ultra 2007 for your wise and kind words. Yes, I'll hold for a long time and if my brain is feeling stronger I'll attempt a small cut. Not now though as I really need to be as functional as a person can be. I think you'll succeed. You're a very positive person. Thank you for spreading positivity around.

Thank you Ultra 2007 for your wise and kind words. Yes, I'll hold for a long time and if my brain is feeling stronger I'll attempt a small cut. Not now though as I really need to be as functional as a person can be. I think you'll succeed. You're a very positive person. Thank you for spreading positivity around.

 

You'll be ok, V. Just remember that everything worthwhile is uphill. Future good times do exist.

Thank you Ultra 2007 for your wise and kind words. Yes, I'll hold for a long time and if my brain is feeling stronger I'll attempt a small cut. Not now though as I really need to be as functional as a person can be. I think you'll succeed. You're a very positive person. Thank you for spreading positivity around.

 

You'll be ok, V. Just remember that everything worthwhile is uphill. Future good times do exist.

 

So glad I found this group. I've been dealing with alcohol and diazepam whilst working full time for 3 years. Have had some windows of doing ok, but generally messing up, phoning in sick a lot, and now I'm on a disciplinary. Just about holding it together. Only really recognised my problem with diazepam a few weeks back when I stopped drinking (and diazepam - thought I had a drink problem!). I've got 1 week's holiday left and I'm in a right state from upping and downing doses. Really hoping I can stabilise on 30mg by next Tuesday...

I work full time...It's not easy Weaning off this stuff and working..I had too change my hours so I could work on weaning down on Valium and Ambien.

Hi guys, welcome to the group. You can read old posts.. Some people's experiences and coping skills are worth reading. Oboe, I have a friend who's discovered AA meetings via zoom and they seem to be very useful, in case you're interested. My latest symptom is bad bad headache and dizziness. It's really interfering with my ability to do stuff.

Full-timer here. Currently working from home due to COVID, which is both a blessing and a curse. Looking forward to chatting with you all.

 

TG

I'm jumping back in this group. I used to post in here a lot. I'm now 29 months off Klonopin and starting my second year as a high school Librarian. It's my 11th year in education related jobs. It's my second day back today and I can already feel the depression setting in. I realize now that CO-VID was the best thing that could happen to me as far as work goes. I was working part time days and sleeping most of the afternoon and then summer came and I could do what I wanted, for the most part.

 

I'm already struggling with wanting to be around my wife and daughter after work. It's like I'm dead when I get home and just want to be by myself. I feel like I have no warm feelings toward my family. None. And I'm scared they are never going to return.

I'm jumping back in this group. I used to post in here a lot. I'm now 29 months off Klonopin and starting my second year as a high school Librarian. It's my 11th year in education related jobs. It's my second day back today and I can already feel the depression setting in. I realize now that CO-VID was the best thing that could happen to me as far as work goes. I was working part time days and sleeping most of the afternoon and then summer came and I could do what I wanted, for the most part.

 

I'm already struggling with wanting to be around my wife and daughter after work. It's like I'm dead when I get home and just want to be by myself. I feel like I have no warm feelings toward my family. None. And I'm scared they are never going to return.

I hear you....by the time I get off work I'm mentally exhausted...

 

 

Full-timer here. Currently working from home due to COVID, which is both a blessing and a curse. Looking forward to chatting with you all.

 

TG

 

Totally. If it wasn't for lockdown I would have lost my job now. Been sleeping in between meetings. Starting the day in bed, getting up later, no commute. The CEO has just put out the email that we're expected back in the office full time September. Shudder..

Full-timer here. Currently working from home due to COVID, which is both a blessing and a curse. Looking forward to chatting with you all.

 

TG

 

Totally. If it wasn't for lockdown I would have lost my job now. Been sleeping in between meetings. Starting the day in bed, getting up later, no commute. The CEO has just put out the email that we're expected back in the office full time September. Shudder..

 

I'm truly hoping that it ends up being a blessing in disguise. Your body might like the consistent rhythm of each day. My best to you!