Full Time worker support group

Do you all think it's possible to heal while working a stressful full-time job? I have been wondering this for a while. I am a high school English teacher and often times I even go in on the weekend and correct stuff.

 

I think It might be doing you more good than you think. I dont Underestimate the stress of teaching (my sister is a teacher) but I think It’s good to keep occupied. I imagine Having too much idle time would backfire. And at least you are being productive financially, so this process doesn’t take too much from you.

Do you all think it's possible to heal while working a stressful full-time job? I have been wondering this for a while. I am a high school English teacher and often times I even go in on the weekend and correct stuff.

 

I think It might be doing you more good than you think. I dont Underestimate the stress of teaching (my sister is a teacher) but I think It’s good to keep occupied. I imagine Having too much idle time would backfire. And at least you are being productive financially, so this process doesn’t take too much from you.

 

I totally agree. The distraction is enormously helpful.

Baylissa said she has seen many people heal who were working full time. It's just so hard to believe at times. I agree that it helps to distract from the depression that can often be extreme at times. However, with all the added stress does the body and brain ever fully heal? I'm sure it probably does but it's just hard not having doubts and fears all the time. Anyway, cheers to a good Thursday at work. 

Hi Everyone,

 

It’s nice to read how everyone’s is managing how they’re feeling and also to see the number of people who are “doing OK” - knowing that doing OK is moving in the right direction.

 

Boomboxboy: that might be additional validation for the advice you received above. It seems like the folks in this group are healing as they work and the work is a part of the healing process. As someone who had to take over a year off of work I can’t tell you that it is quite hard to jump back into the pool.

 

FreeIJN: daily irony, indeed! That must be rough indeed to listen to. I wonder if we’ll ever go back to the days when docs wouldn’t prescribe anything they hadn’t taken themselves?

 

To quote HopeToDoThis’s father: onward and upward everyone! We’ll get through this!

 

- Fiskadoro

 

hey there, working full time too. from home though. I would not survive the office

Just had to go home after vomiting multiple times at work. I’d been doing that for a few days but I just Couldn’t hide it this time. I think It’s from stress. I started Crying in front of my supervisor. Terrible feeling. I pride Myself in being a hard worker but you can’t fake health. Hopefully I’ll take a much needed rest this weekend and cry a bit more, and my stomach will return to normal.

Oh freeIJN that's horrible!  Rest up during the weekend.

 

I pride myself on doing a good job. But I don't work hard anymore because of a bad experience with a job I had over 10 years ago. My job now is not at all challenging, and I like it that way.

I've been working all throughout my withdrawal, sometimes I resented the fact that I had to work, especially during acute. But now I feel fortunate that I have a job and can work, although some time off would be greatly appreciated.

 

Just had to go home after vomiting multiple times at work. I’d been doing that for a few days but I just Couldn’t hide it this time. I think It’s from stress. I started Crying in front of my supervisor. Terrible feeling. I pride Myself in being a hard worker but you can’t fake health. Hopefully I’ll take a much needed rest this weekend and cry a bit more, and my stomach will return to normal.

 

Free,

 

I am so sorry to hear about it. As someone who suffers from constant nausea (but have not yet thrown up at work, I have come close), I know how awful it is for you. And I cried at work last week (my son is 16 and lost a ton of weight, I cannot handle this on top of everything else), and I was so embarrassed.

 

Lots of people are sick for lots of reasons. Life happens even at work; hopefully your job is understanding and I am glad you went home to take care of yourself. I really, really hope you feel better soon.

Just had to go home after vomiting multiple times at work. I’d been doing that for a few days but I just Couldn’t hide it this time. I think It’s from stress. I started Crying in front of my supervisor. Terrible feeling. I pride Myself in being a hard worker but you can’t fake health. Hopefully I’ll take a much needed rest this weekend and cry a bit more, and my stomach will return to normal.

 

Free,

 

I am so sorry to hear about it. As someone who suffers from constant nausea (but have not yet thrown up at work, I have come close), I know how awful it is for you. And I cried at work last week (my son is 16 and lost a ton of weight, I cannot handle this on top of everything else), and I was so embarrassed.

 

Lots of people are sick for lots of reasons. Life happens even at work; hopefully your job is understanding and I am glad you went home to take care of yourself. I really, really hope you feel better soon.

 

 

Thank you so much ☺️

How is everybody doing?

 

freeIJN were you able to go back to work this week?

 

I felt a little foggy today. I can never tell if I'm getting sick or if it's symptoms. And suddenly the neuropathy in my feet has been KILLING me. Especially in my toes and the balls of my feet. And it gets me worried.

 

Just checking in.

FreeIJN: I hope you’re feeling better. Hopefully that day was just a momentary blip.

 

HTDT: this last week was extremely hard for me. My workplace (higher ed) has not been supportive as I’ve worked to transition back to FT after over a year fighting with an anxiety flare up but, mostly, massive doses of drugs. I think most of my current problems are the stress my job is causing me - stress that they are choosing to cause me, I should emphasize; they could make things easier - and not withdrawal. No doubt the withdrawal hasn’t helped, but I don’t think it’s the primary issue right now. Denial? Maybe.

 

My biggest problem is waking up and getting started with my day. I have an early morning dose of K I have to take (regular dosages work best for me) and then I want to rest, and then my mind starts wandering/racing, and then I’m having panic attacks. The anxiety tends to persist almost all day regardless of what I do, though.

 

I hope everyone is doing well - in whatever form that looks like to you! - and enjoying the holiday weekend.

 

~ Fiskadoro

It's a holiday weekend?

 

I've felt like a shut in all weekend and I'm going crazy. All my friends wanted to go out last night, but I'm typically in bed by 7 since I wake up early all week to go to work.

 

I can't believe I'm saying this but I can't wait to go to work tomorrow.

I have a vacation coming up and as much as I need it i'm also nervous about not staying busy enough

I applied for a second job today. I like the idea of getting out and doing something with my evenings, plus the extra income would help. I found a posting that looks like a good fit for me, then updated my resume and cover letter for the first time in a few years. It was really rewarding to see how much I've grown professionally in that time, boosts my confidence when I think about trying something new. I'm still worried I won't have enough energy or that I will get too anxious and overwhelmed...but I went ahead and did it anyway! Fingers crossed...

Congratulations on “pushing through” and applying for the job, Gwinna! I’m glad it was a fulfilling process (already!). I’ll keep my fingers crossed, too. 

 

~ Fiskadoro

Thanks for the encouragement, Fiskadoro! They responded with a sample task for me to complete, so I worked on that today after I got home from my full-time job. Will sleep on it, then give it one more look tomorrow morning before sending it in. I keep second-guessing myself, but I'm pretty proud that I was able to do it as it as a new application of my skill set so I have to prove I can learn by doing. So nervous, but I know even if this opportunity doesn't work out, I will find something and that's pretty exciting, too! 

I applied for a second job today. I like the idea of getting out and doing something with my evenings, plus the extra income would help.

 

Gwinna, I think it's wonderful, you're such an inspiration!  Just the act of getting out there and applying is amazing, you've got this!  Keep us posted! 

Gwinna: how are you doing?

 

I’m dealing with a seriously toxic work situation. And, unfortunately, I’m in a not-very-portable profession (“higher ed”). I’ve been having some good weeks but the past couple of days have been hard because I’ve had to wade back through the toxicity. Ugh.

 

I hope everyone is doing well!

Hey Guys,

 

I admire all of you trying to push through this ordeal.  I would appreciate some input with my situation.  It's been 3 months since I jumped off Clonopin (0.5 mg 5 yrs use).  Have been struggling for 5 months now (2.5 months tapering + 3 months post-withdrawal).  I purposely started my taper after moving on from a previous job as well as put my side startup business on hold mainly because I was developing serious tolerance withdrawal from Clonopin.  Just to give you a little insight, although my brain feels pretty useless at this point, I attended a renowned school and have a demanding Engineering career. 

 

To get to the point,  the last three months after my jump have been gruesomely painful.  Although it get's better at times, Insomnia, anxiety, depression,racing thoughts, fatigue, muscle pain are just a few of the symptoms that I experience.  Most times, it scares me just to leave the house for fear of getting slapped by a new wave  That being said,  I have been putting away interviews because the idea of working scares me and seems unrealistic.  I also know that staying home is also contributing to my depression.  I know many people on the forum who are on disability but I can't seem to get my mind around it.  My question is, is it unrealistic to go back to work right now?  and if not, how long do I just wait for this misery before I move on with my career.  Thanks in advance and appreciate your feedback.

Hi REqcrg me,

 

It sounds like you’re in a pretty unstable place right now. My advice would be to look for your symptoms to stabilize and, when they do, start looking for a new job then. I don’t think there’s a set amount of time you should wait and I would encourage you to go back to work as soon as you are stable (and not wait until you feel totally better). Working can - as you note - help your recovery.

 

I wish you the best.

 

~ Fiskadoro

Hi Fiskadoro,

 

Thank you for your thoughtful reply.  Yes I certainly need to give this some thought and listen to my inner feelings.  The problem is that just when I have a window and feel like it's gotten better, I get hit by another wave.  Just looking at some people struggling over a year after withdrawal makes me question if my career that I worked all my life for at risk. 

 

Another question I have for you is that I see that you are on Olanzapine after Benzo withdrawal and although my doctor prescribed 2.5 mg Olanzapine to help with some symptoms, I refused to start because I don't want to have to taper from another med and maybe make my symptoms worse.  Is it working for you?  Thanks.

Work is not going well. Physically I am almost entirely recovered, so I should be doing fine, right? Wrong. My brain is still healing and it shows. I work in a fast-paced, emotionally demanding environment with a small team of bright, dedicated people who deserve better from me. Most of my coworkers know what I'm going through and they have been amazingly supportive, but it's been ten months now since the start of my taper and I don't want to take advantage.

 

What happened to my sense of professional pride? I am doing the bare minimum. I space out at my desk for twenty minutes at a time. I don't follow through with tasks and I certainly don't take the initiative. I struggle with decision-making and I'm constantly on edge. (I wake up on edge to those toxic mornings.) Post-benzo depression has me obsessing constantly about my career choices and finances, so I'm too restless and distracted by this mid-life crisis to "get in the zone" and just take it day by day the way I should.

 

I'm sure it's not as bad as it seems from the outside, as I've been managing the bare minimum to avoid any major missed deadlines and I've learned to hold it together pretty well. Granted, I have to take a hot shower and sit under a weighted blanket every morning just to calm down enough to get in the car and literally give myself a pep talk in the rear-view mirror. I have to close my classroom door with the lights off crying to soothing music on my lunch break, and I have to become a complete couch potato in my pajamas the second I get home until I pass out early in front of the TV because I am too exhausted and anxious and depressed to do anything else.

 

I miss being on light duty and wonder if I didn't have those medical restrictions lifted too soon. I mean, I don't have to call out of work nearly as often as I did during my taper because I can physically make it through the day now, but these mood-related symptoms are brutal and it is killing my career.

 

I need a vacation.

 

Gwinna

 

Another question I have for you is that I see that you are on Olanzapine after Benzo withdrawal and although my doctor prescribed 2.5 mg Olanzapine to help with some symptoms, I refused to start because I don't want to have to taper from another med and maybe make my symptoms worse.  Is it working for you?  Thanks.

 

Hi REqcrg me,

 

The Olanzapine was prescribed to help boost the effectiveness of my SSRI (Lexapro). I've been on Lexapro for a long time and it's been good for me, but I'm dealing with a really hellish situation at work that is overwhelming my anxiety. The Olanzapine gave me back my appetite (and that alone made it worth trying). I'm still trying to find the right time to take it during the day, though - it kicks in pretty quick (I get hungry within an hour or two) but then peters out (or something - GI issues/nausea are a real problem for me). I just talked to my psydoc today and I'm going to try splitting the pill in two (which is going to be tough- they're tiny). Other than the return of my appetite I haven't really noticed any other effects from the Olanzapine. I hope that info helps!

 

~ Fiskadoro

Work is not going well. Physically I am almost entirely recovered, so I should be doing fine, right? Wrong. My brain is still healing and it shows. I work in a fast-paced, emotionally demanding environment with a small team of bright, dedicated people who deserve better from me. Most of my coworkers know what I'm going through and they have been amazingly supportive, but it's been ten months now since the start of my taper and I don't want to take advantage.

 

What happened to my sense of professional pride? I am doing the bare minimum. I space out at my desk for twenty minutes at a time. I don't follow through with tasks and I certainly don't take the initiative. I struggle with decision-making and I'm constantly on edge. (I wake up on edge to those toxic mornings.) Post-benzo depression has me obsessing constantly about my career choices and finances, so I'm too restless and distracted by this mid-life crisis to "get in the zone" and just take it day by day the way I should.

 

I'm sure it's not as bad as it seems from the outside, as I've been managing the bare minimum to avoid any major missed deadlines and I've learned to hold it together pretty well. Granted, I have to take a hot shower and sit under a weighted blanket every morning just to calm down enough to get in the car and literally give myself a pep talk in the rear-view mirror. I have to close my classroom door with the lights off crying to soothing music on my lunch break, and I have to become a complete couch potato in my pajamas the second I get home until I pass out early in front of the TV because I am too exhausted and anxious and depressed to do anything else.

 

I miss being on light duty and wonder if I didn't have those medical restrictions lifted too soon. I mean, I don't have to call out of work nearly as often as I did during my taper because I can physically make it through the day now, but these mood-related symptoms are brutal and it is killing my career.

 

I need a vacation.

 

Gwinna

 

Hi Gwinna,

 

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling. I've been wondering about switching over to light duty as well - I'm not even sure whether I can but the day-to-day stress seems like it can't possible be good for me. I am glad to hear that you have supportive coworkers - that's a real blessing.

 

Try to remember that this is not your new "normal" - you're still healing. You can remind your coworkers of that, too, and tell them all of the favors they are racking up. 

 

In the meantime, keep doing what you need to do to get through the day. You have a lot of people rooting for you here.

 

~ Fiskadoro