Suffering more!

I've been off for 4 1/2 months and just feel worse and worse everyday. I've got loads of stress too which isn't helping. I was wondering if the fact that I abused the benzo's with alcohol means I'm going to suffer longer than most? I feel bad everyday I don't have good days and I'm thinking I'm worse off than others. Has anyone here healed or is significantly better after benzo abuse?

Hey I am 7 months off,still bad but not 24/7 bedridden. After my 5 month I start to feel a bit better. You will be better too dont lose hope. My advice to you is to do not use any alcohol or other meds, weed even cigarettes for faster healing.What is your age? Hang on there!

Hi thanks for the response. I am currently taking other meds which I plan to taper off when I'm feeling a bit better. I'm 49.

Anyone please?

Hello Danni,

I never abused these drugs but many did and/or took them for a really long time (I think it actually doesn't matter whether you took them as prescribed or you abused them when it comes to physical healing) But maybe, in case of abusing or addiction joining NA could be helpful.

 

I am still not even close to being healed but I just wanted to leave some words here to let you know you are not alone.

 

Hey Danny

I too was drinking way too much for a year before quitting benzo. I think there is long term healing need there also. I’ve takin a very long time to heal but don’t miss the alcohol at all. At four months you can expect some crazy’s. Just commit to sobriety and bear down.

Thanks for the replies. I must say I do miss drinking, my husband drinks everyday and is very social. He expects me to participate even if I don't drink which I am finding hard. I go along just because I don't want to be alone Feeling this terrible around people is hell and so uncomfortable but I'm trying to save my marriage at the same time. I abused the benzo's primarily because I couldn't cope with life and now ironically I'm having to face all my demons.

Have you talked to someone, therapist, about how to tweak your thoughts and make life better without pils or booze. I did. It helped tremendously. I really like myself now ad a sober person. This journey cost me a marriage but it was a positive thing. My girls had just entered college and I was using booze to cope with my wife.

Quote, free your mind, your ass will follow

Danni,

 

Everything I've read indicated benzos and alcohol are not friends. They both work on the GABA receptors. So, your journey may be a bit longer. I never abused the clonazepam. Always took the prescribed dose. For uhh ... 26.5 years! So not good.  Just take care of yourself. No rescue doses, no alcohol, and distract as much as possible.

I've been off for 4 1/2 months and just feel worse and worse everyday. I've got loads of stress too which isn't helping. I was wondering if the fact that I abused the benzo's with alcohol means I'm going to suffer longer than most? I feel bad everyday I don't have good days and I'm thinking I'm worse off than others. Has anyone here healed or is significantly better after benzo abuse?

 

Hi Danni-

 

I was on benzo for over 20 years & drank alcohol. I never abused the benzo (took 1/2 the amount prescribed) When I CT benzo I also CT alcohol, opiates, ciggies & weed. I am pretty much healed now. It took 5 years  Stress to this day still triggers mild withdrawal sensations. I would strongly suggest that you learn some relaxation techniques to better enable you to moderate your stress levels. Also distraction was key for me to cope with lingering symptoms. You WILL HEAL....it just may take longer than you want. So try to keep yourself distracted & calm then the symptoms should be more tolerable 

Thanks Bella Amis,

 

This really gave me hope.

 

Sofa

 

 

Thanks for all the replies. I can't believe this is happening to me and my gut just tells me I'm in for the long haul. 5 years is a really long time to heal and the way I feel now, I don't even think I'll survive a year. How long was everyone's acute phase?

Thanks Bella Amis,

 

This really gave me hope.

 

Sofa

 

i quit drinking in 2013, and i was drinking stupid levels my last year, i was depressed and a total wreck. i went through some alcohol withdrawal which kinda melded into benzo withdrawal, took me a long time to figure out what was happening, but i have no doubt my alcohol intake affected my whole benzo ordeal.

 

4 months can be a very tough spot, i think my hardest period post was the 4-6 month range or so.

 

stay strong to staying off alcohol. i know its hard when sometimes you feel like ugh you need a drink just to chill. but it would backfire on ya, and honestly you very likely wouldnt even get the same relief from it you used to. you might get a couple hours of buzz but meh it wouldnt be the same as it used to be and youd feel like total ass afterwards, and it could hijack your withdrawal. youre not missing anything by abstaining, believe me. it feels like you are in stressful times but meh, youre really not. hell, at the end of my abuse, alcohol didnt even work for me, it felt like poison and made me feel awful. id drink crazy amounts of beers and not even feel that drunk but just feel like complete shit. in benzo withdrawal all it would do is pile up the symptoms. not for everyone, some can drink, i dont wana make a blanket statement like that, but for me, it just totally backfires.

 

it already feels like youve been fighting a long time, but really youre kinda right in thick of it, stay the course, try endure this as best you can, your job is to survive. And although you might be in for some time of healing (you just as likely may not be in for that long a haul) that doesnt mean its gonna be terrible for that long. right now is tough as hell, but itll get better, manageable. i was a wreck before i even tapered, and had agoraphobia very strong, its been a real hard journey, but at a year out its shown signs of easing off.

 

people's definition of acute seems to be different on this board, i jumped off 3 mg diazepam when i was super sensitive to even a microscopic cut and i consider that 1st month my acute, it was an experience ill never ever forget; it was like being thrown out of a plane with every symptom on fire for nearly 4 weeks. now it all blurs together, waves and windows. my journey has been hard, my windows are probably some peoples waves. youll get all kinds of answers for this i imagine.

 

stay the course

Thanks for all the replies. I can't believe this is happening to me and my gut just tells me I'm in for the long haul. 5 years is a really long time to heal and the way I feel now, I don't even think I'll survive a year. How long was everyone's acute phase?

 

5 years is a VERY long time 

 

I am so sorry you have to go through this Danni. 

 

Acceptance was absolutely necessary for me to get through this difficult phase. The worst was over after 8 months. I payed close attention to what symptoms had improved focusing on that instead of how bad I felt day to day. I also found & noted that symptoms intensity were SLOWLY waning as time progressed as well. I had to make peace with the fact that it was going to take longer than I thought to heal.

 

By changing my "self talk" to a more positive rhetoric, it made a world of difference.

Example: Why me? Why is it going to take so friggin' long to heal. I am certainly one of the "unlucky ones"...this is permanent and I just cannot cope any longer, my life is over, I will never ever heal etc. etc....

Change your self talk to something like: This really whole ordeal really is debilitating & unpleasant but I am VERY lucky & fortunate to have discovered that the benzo is what was making me so ill for so many years. Can you imagine all the people who never figure this out? I am VERY VERY LUCKY! I know that these awful symptoms are actually my brain & body healing. I will get through this how ever long it may take. I am in it for the long haul knowing full well that once healed, my quality of life will be so much better than while on benzo poison. I will keep myself distracted & just try my very best to accept these symptoms for what they are, just part of the healing process. When I feel hopeless I will reach out to others who are suffering as well. I will not ever give up, this simple is not an option at this point...etc etc....

 

So Danni, please try whatever it takes to move forward in this healing process. Another thing that really helped me is reading our buddie parkers post  What's happening inside your brain over & over 

 

So hang in there my friend....