Incredible confusion

Sometimes when I have a decrease in a particular symptom (mainly anxiety and depression) I start to think this is the "end state" and I panic -- thinking now I have to work through the anxiety and depression and I just don't have any energy left and I start to feel suicidal.  I had anxiety and depression before bw. Can anyone relate?

 

I can relate, the first time I slept 3 hours in a row I remember I woke up in a panic and was freaked out all day. I sleep 9 hours now and freak out when I wake up more than once. It's not the symptom or lack of it that scares you, it's your reaction to it. If that makes any sense. I feel your pain, withdrawal is overwhelming and leaves us drained, it's natural for it feel beat down and no way out; just live to fight another day and  "who knows what the tide could bring." Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to rest and heal. There are many memories and good times stored in the future; you just need to get to them.

 

"How deceived was I to think that what I feared was in the world, instead of in my mind alone."

Ethan-H212,

 

Thank you for your response and for your encouraging words. I hear what you're saying, and yes, my reaction to these different states of mind plays a role in my suffering.  Wouldn't it be helpful if there was a guidebook we could refer to...

I think I am confused by your post but if you are referring to becoming MORE anxious during the end of withdrawal then please do not think this is your natural underlying baseline. The drugs have altered that so what you are really feeling is an intensified state due to the process of recovery.  I was depressed and anxious before Benzos but the windows that I have had are allowing me to feel that again and I am MUCH better able to deal with it after being through this horrendous ordeal. We automatically become stronger.  So please don't fear those feeling of being overly anxious as what life will be like when you are done with withdrawals.  You can handle so much more now and I bet your baseline is much less than what you are feeling now.

LeslieJ,

 

I hear you and I believe that, yes, I will be able to deal with anxiety and depression much better after this ordeal. I just have to keep coping day by day and I have to realize I don't know when this will be over. I force myself not to think about how much longer it will be. I actually could feel much better tomorrow..

 

Thanks for your support and good luck with your healing.