My Story

Hello, I have joined BenzoBuddies in hopes I can gain really needed information and ways of progressing through this Hell known as Benzodiazepine withdrawal.

I have recently jumped off my Benzo and am experiencing extreme Agoraphobia and Panic Attacks. I started my taper with Klonopin, Xanax, and Valium. I started tapering 2mg over the course of 4 months and tapered using Diazepam to finish and jumped at .5mg.

However, whenever I made the jump, I got extremely anxious and agoraphobic. I am only 23 years old and I do feel as though there is no hope in recovery and i do feel lost on what to do next. I cannot afford a doctor, nor treatment, and its just me doing all of this by myself.. I even tapered myself with no help from a doctor, as they were ill-advised on how to approach the situation or how to help. So I decided to help myself. 

 

Basically, I really want to know other peoples problems and see if they pertain to me too, or am I just crazy? I can't really leave the house and i have never felt more alone in my whole life. i never even had a panic attack before starting Benzos, much less being afraid to leave my house... I am scared. Someone, anyone... help me.

 

Welcome to BenzoBuddies!  We are glad you decided to join us.  You'll find a lot of support and information on this forum, which is currently the only one of its kind online.  You are among friends now, friends who do understand what you're going through. 

 

Most of our members, myself included, plan and conduct their own tapers without the help of a doctor.  This is because most doctors don't seem to understand the value of a slower taper, nor do they seem to understand just how severe some of our symptoms can be.  We are not imagining our symptoms and they often do not go away as soon as they would for other types of drugs.  Benzos temporarily change ones brain and body chemistry, these changes take time to return to normal, often long after the drug is out of the body.  The first few months after "jumping," the acute withdrawal period, is usually when the worst symptoms appear. 

 

For those starting a taper, we generally recommend starting out at a rate of 5-10% every 10-14 days, then adjusting the taper to suit your own needs.  One exception: very short term users may be able to taper faster. During and after the taper there are often withdrawal symptoms, most commonly anxiety and insomnia, but these are temporary and will go away in time.

In general, those who've never withdrawn from benzos before seem to have fewer problems healing, while those with multiple withdrawals sometimes have longer, more challenging healing periods due to nervous system sensitization.

 

Here are a few useful links:

 

The Ashton Manual A great, short and concise reference for tapering and symptom issues.

 

Post Withdrawal Support

 

Again, welcome!

 

Megan918

Administrator

 

Hi SoClose,

 

Welcome!  You are not crazy.  This is common for benzo withdrawal done with rapid tapering.  Your brain is in shock and working to heal and rebalance.  I understand what you’re going through, as I’ve been through it, and am still experiencing some myself.  I was taken off cold turkey and had to reinstate to do a slow taper.  4 months is pretty fast, so it makes sense why you’re experiencing these symptoms. 

 

How long were you on them, what were you taking and what amounts?

Hi SoClose,

 

Welcome!  You are not crazy.  This is common for benzo withdrawal done with rapid tapering.  Your brain is in shock and working to heal and rebalance.  I understand what you’re going through, as I’ve been through it, and am still experiencing some myself.  I was taken off cold turkey and had to reinstate to do a slow taper.  4 months is pretty fast, so it makes sense why you’re experiencing these symptoms. 

 

How long were you on them, what were you taking and what amounts?

 

I was taking it everyday for 2 years but moderately for 1 year so 3 years total at doses ranging from 1mg-6mg, even sometimes the pure powder from Darkweb. Xanax was my DOC but I ended my taper with Valium at .5mg.

Ok, so I see you said you used Xanax, Klonopin and Valium - tapered using Valium.  Did you stop Xanax and Klonopin CT (cold turkey) and switch immediately over to Valium for four months? 

Ok, so I see you said you used Xanax, Klonopin and Valium - tapered using Valium.  Did you stop Xanax and Klonopin CT (cold turkey) and switch immediately over to Valium for four months?

I would say I was taking Kpin for 1 month to start than I got my hands on some 5mg Valium and used those for the remaining bit of the taper

I just found your other post so will reply there.