On and off benzos for 20 years now trying to taper

Hello, I was introduced to valium at the age of 20 at a party. I am in the unusual position of being able to get these magic little pills without a prescription for 20 years! I've been a medium drinker also and basically self medicated my anxiety with both the Valium and booze,booze on the weekends and valium during the day as I have a high pressure job nothing too crazy, but no real strict dosage for many years. I must say that this self medicating hasn't been for a solid 20 years everyday, as I have traveled ect and not had my pills with me but in hindsight now ..... I think maybe I was feeling the withdrawal as soon as I stopped taking them! I'm not an abuser of these pills, I just take enough for me to feel focused enough to get my job done and deal with family life, now I have found the magic number for me is just one pill @ 5mg a day everyday. I've been on this dose for the last 7 years, Lately I've been finding my memory isn't the best and that I have been feeling anxious on the one pill a day, so I did a little reading and discovered that you can experience interdose withdrawal because your body needs more while staying on the usual dosage? to be honest I was quite impressed that my body had taken this long to - no so politely ask for more Nevertheless this was a red flag to me (this is one year ago) so I decided to taper off without researching it properly, I cut my yellow 5mg pills into quarters and had 3 quarters a day instead of a whole, everything went well until the third or fourth day and I couldn't believe how different I felt! I couldn't hold a conversation, my memory was fragmented, headache, sweating I had zero energy, Basically couldn't function ..... but with my job I had to function, so on my days off I took three quarters and on my days on I had to take two whole pills to feel like I could get the job done, I only work three days a week but I didn't journal this so it was completely pointless lol, anyhow one year later after feeling pretty average for a year i'm cutting down a quarter of a pill a week, I've done this for 4 weeks so technically I'm down a pill a week, but his last weeks reduction has got me not sleeping and feeling the same way as before, I know you have to through hell to get to heaven but am I going to fast do you think? If i take a quarter of a pill out every week how long can I wait till I reduce again? as I think weekly is too fast? with the way I'm feeling I need to minimize the withrawal as best I can so I can provide for my family and go to work, but also need to get off these pills as my source could vanish over night and I know then I'll be in BIG BIG trouble ....... any help appreciated

Welcome to BenzoBuddies!  We are glad you decided to join us.  You'll find a lot of support and information on this forum, which is currently the only one of its kind online.

 

For those starting a taper, we generally recommend starting out at a rate of 5-10% every 10-14 days, then adjusting the taper to suit your own needs.  One exception: very short term users may be able to taper faster. During and after the taper there are often withdrawal symptoms, most commonly anxiety and insomnia, but these are temporary and will go away in time.  These symptoms often appear near the end of a taper, that is normal.  But again, they're temporary.

 

In general, those who've never withdrawn from benzos before seem to have fewer problems healing, while those with multiple withdrawals sometimes have longer, more challenging healing periods due to nervous system sensitization.

 

Here are a few useful links:

 

The Ashton Manual A great, short and concise reference for tapering and symptom issues.

 

Withdrawal Support (during your taper)

 

Again, welcome!

 

Megan918

Administrator

 

Welcome Blondini! 

 

So glad you’ve decided to get off benzos and joined us here.  I’m not familiar I with Valium, as I’m tapering Klonopin.  But many here will be able to help you out in regards to taper speed and amount, as well as provide such excellence support.  If you create a signature for your profile it will be easier for us to see your history and where you’re at now,  one pill, meaning 2mg? 

 

Fellow long-term user here and doing a slow taper using daily liquid titration.  I personally love this method, but check them all out to see which one works best for you. 

 

Wishing you the best in your journey off of Valium 

 

Love,

 

Uni