Mornings....

Can anyone relate?    I can’t talk to ANYONE in the mornings, especially!!!  It’s just too much input for my CNS.  Not that I have anyone to talk to.  But, if someone calls or I see a neighbor I can’t handle it, can’t engage in any social interactions.

Wow I am not at my best in the morning and rather not talk to anyone, but it is manageable. My niece stopped by for about 15 minutes this morning and I did go out in the yard and let my dog see her dog, but I was happy when she left. I make it a point to walk the dog to the mailbox and back at least 2 times a day and around the fence 3 or 4 times a day. He hates heat so he is not staying out there long.

 

Small fence so it is not bad, but I do not like people to come visit and stay for hours. Uggghhh

I’ll say Hi, but beyond that.  I’m too symptomatic.  My floaty boaty and dp/dr keep me from engaging.  I miss socializing....  Hopefully one day that will not be an issue. 

mornings were beyond "toxic" for me, like reeeally bad all through tapering and post.

theyre not quite as bad as they were thank the gods, but i was completely non functional, unable to deal, i felt like i was poisoned and sickened all at once, and stupidly anxious, like crazy levels. and me going into work like that.

 

the day i jumped, i was at work in the thick of an awful morning. my supervisor came to my desk and was like "are you ok, you look terrified?" i literally could not walk to her desk from mine, and she drove me home. i went on leave of absence from that day. i ended up jumping that day, my taper was soooo bad, i was feeling deathly ill, so i jumped that day, i never took my med after she took me home. the empowerment of jumping was good....the real acute withdrawal that settled in 4 days later was a hell ill never ever forget....

 

the mornings through this process were the most horrible ive ever felt in my life.

it HAS actually calmed down a bit, its not quite as bad as it was, but its still noticeably worse.

i tend to start to feel a little better around...oh, around now, 1pm-2pm ish range....

 

i think you and i have had a similar journey through this fuckshow

mornings were beyond "toxic" for me, like reeeally bad all through tapering and post.

theyre not quite as bad as they were thank the gods, but i was completely non functional, unable to deal, i felt like i was poisoned and sickened all at once, and stupidly anxious, like crazy levels. and me going into work like that.

 

the day i jumped, i was at work in the thick of an awful morning. my supervisor came to my desk and was like "are you ok, you look terrified?" i literally could not walk to her desk from mine, and she drove me home. i went on leave of absence from that day. i ended up jumping that day, my taper was soooo bad, i was feeling deathly ill, so i jumped that day, i never took my med after she took me home. the empowerment of jumping was good....the real acute withdrawal that settled in 4 days later was a hell ill never ever forget....

 

the mornings through this process were the most horrible ive ever felt in my life.

it HAS actually calmed down a bit, its not quite as bad as it was, but its still noticeably worse.

i tend to start to feel a little better around...oh, around now, 1pm-2pm ish range....

 

i think you and i have had a similar journey through this fuckshow

 

Luke, I agree you and I are in a similar journey.  Are you able to work? 

Mornings have always been tough for me, because as a nurse I worked the 3-11:30 pm shift for 30 years! And during withdrawal, that fuzzy-headed feeling was a LOT worse. I hated mornings. I had barely slept that night and morning meant another miserable day trying to stay sane, alive and deal with all those horrible symptoms.

 

It has now been 6 years since I went CT. And I still dislike mornings! I stumble awake, stumble in to brush my teeth, etc., stumble into the kitchen for my ice coffee (I never drink hot coffee. Weird but true!) I stumble to get my cat fed, fresh water put down and have my first half-cigarette of the days.

 

Smoking is my LAST addiction and I cannot seem to conquer this. I have cut way down but I would like to just quit! If anyone has some good ideas on this, please let me know. It bothers me that I could go through one of the worst withdrawals from benzos known on this site and I STILL SMOKE CIGARETTES!!!!! That is just crazy.

Ha mornings, funny  . Mine are atrocious. Mornings for me are like waking up to a feeling of concusion in the brain, screaming tinnitus, chest pressure, sore calfs and the desire to lie in bed for as long as possible but this is impossible as my body becomes like a stiff plank so am forced to get up. I cant stand the mornings during this whole process. I basically dont want to be alive. I want that old feeling back when you wake up and have that oh so cozy feeling and can just drift back to sleep. Now its like force myself back into sleep with nightmares that freak me right out in a half baked half awake slump. Oh bring back the old days. Its not funny either 

Ha mornings, funny  . Mine are atrocious. Mornings for me are like waking up to a feeling of concusion in the brain, screaming tinnitus, chest pressure, sore calfs and the desire to lie in bed for as long as possible but this is impossible as my body becomes like a stiff plank so am forced to get up. I cant stand the mornings during this whole process. I basically dont want to be alive. I want that old feeling back when you wake up and have that oh so cozy feeling and can just drift back to sleep. Now its like force myself back into sleep with nightmares that freak me right out in a half baked half awake slump. Oh bring back the old days. Its not funny either 

Other than the chest pressure, which I don't think I've had very bad, the above is a perfect description of how I feel in the morning, and it's worse lately because I'm having a very hard time getting to sleep in the first place.  Last night, out of desperation I made the mistake of  taking Benadryl 50 mg's, melatonin and CBD oil, which gave me 6.5 hours of sleep - but I woke up non-refreshed with worse depression, and other symptoms, than usual.     

Fuck the joys of benedryl in benzo withdrawal. Ive had that stack as well but still cant sleep. Maybe Doxy, benedryl,melatonin and seroquel. Still no sleep...I dont know why antihistamines wont get through. Anyhows the seraquel can bugger off, nasty stuff. Even mirtazipine wont work....The thing is though its good you get some sleep, means more healing Roll on tomorrow morning