Two months off - very short time user

Today marks two months off a very short term use of Klonopin. It all started with a severe ear infection where the initial pain brought me to my knees. I temporarily lost hearing and developed tinnitus. I don’t know if the Augmentin I was prescribed at the urgent care clinic raised my anxiety levels, but I had managed my anxiety fairly well for the past decade until I started hearing a high pitch noise in my affected ear. I couldn’t sleep well but never had insomnia issues prior to this - I was climbing up the walls from the noise. By the time I finally got an ENT appointment, it had been a week of partial deafness and tinnitus and I was a wreck due to the lack of sleep. Oh how I wish it ended there.

 

I was visibly distraught thinking I had lost hearing for good and the tinnitus was permanent. The audiologist conducted the hearing test and determined it was a blocked eardrum due to all the fluid. She reassured me it would be okay and said I should ask the doctor to give me something to help me sleep given how distraught I was so I followed her advice and have regretted that day ever since.

 

The ENT prescribed me Prednisone for the blockage and gave me 1mg Klonopin tabs. I took .25mg Klonopin 10 years ago as needed for several months during a very stressful period of my life and it helped, so why wouldn't it help me again? I didn't have any withdrawal issues back then as far as I know.

 

The labeling said take 1mg in the AM and PM as needed. Knowing better due to its addictive nature, I broke the pill in half and only took them at night, sometimes in quarters. Little did I know that .5mg was still a very potent dosage.

 

It calmed me down and I was able to sleep. Around a week, I woke up in the middle of the night with my heart racing and attributed it to the Klonopin. I knew then it was time to get off this stuff. I was going to CT given my short usage but instead thought it was safer to taper just as a precautionary measure. I assume most people would just CT after 10 days as I was not a long-term user but was being conservative in my approach.

 

I started taking .25mg pieces using a pill cutter (had to eyeball since they were 1mg tabs) and by the 4th day I started having withdrawal symptoms - tingling/burning skin, muscle spasms, and headaches. I couldn’t believe it.

 

I went to my GP who was dismissive about this being WD and she advised me to do .125mg for 3 days then .125mg every other day for 8 days. I dropped to .125mg even though I didn’t stabilize from the .25mg and was in a world of hurt. I decided to jump after 3 days of .125mg because I wanted off of this stuff in the worst way possible and was already suffering severe withdrawal symptoms. What followed three days later was the stuff nightmares are made of.

 

I was having zero hour sleep, buzzing brain, head pressure, headaches, jelly legs, severe depression, tingling extremities, DP/DR, dizziness. Basically every symptom in the book. I foolishly went into work when I was in full blown acute and only took one sick day. I was thankfully able to work from home the first few weeks. I came here debating to do the Ashton method but it was abundantly clear that I’m one of these sensitive individuals who wouldn’t want to prolong exposure and develop further dependence. I’m assuming I would have had an excruciatingly long symptom based taper otherwise given my sensitivity to medication. I honestly don't know. I came very close to reinstating but didn't want to put anymore of that poison in my body.

 

I gritted my teeth and the first couple of weeks were pure hell.  At the end of my first week of WD I tried my regular weightlifting routine and pushed through. Big mistake. I had an anxious feeling in my chest while driving home. I started having a stormy sensation in my brain and the next thing I knew I was having a full blown panic attack out of nowhere. My limbs were shaking and going numb and I was hyperventilating. I barely made it home without crashing my car. I thought I was having a seizure at first. I never had a panic attack prior to this. The next few weeks I was an anxious wreck driving my kids to daycare. I talked to SSR1975 and she said it was my body sending me a message as my adrenals were damaged and could not handle the stress.

 

After that I haven’t been to the gym since and have sparingly run as it would trigger that weird feeling in my brain after a workout. I was a very fit individual prior to this and it has been devastating watching my muscle gains of the past 10 years waste away let alone not being able to run long distances.

 

And then there’s the depression. I’ve never cried so much in my life. I’ve broken down nearly daily since this happened. In front of my wife. In front of my kids. In front of my entire family. In the car while commuting to work. It has been hellacious. I’ve had depression before but nothing like this. My parents want me to go on meds and there are times where I think I’m mentally ill, especially when I’m having suicidal ideations. I wanted to go to the psych ward at one point. I had a beautiful happy life prior to this and never thought about any of these things!

 

The insomnia has been horrific as I was getting maybe 0-2 hours a night the first few weeks. Thankfully it’s improved where I’ll get 3-4 hours, and sometimes 5-6 if I take half a Unisom.

 

This whole thing has been an absolute nightmare that I’ve completely been blindsided by. I honestly don’t think I would be alive right now if it wasn’t for my wife and kids.

 

Thankfully things have improved where most of the physical symptoms have dissipated. My main issues are the insomnia, depression/anhedonia, and exercise intolerance.

 

I’m assuming the combination of starting the steroids and benzo at the same time exacerbated my withdrawal reaction? I honestly do not know.

 

This has ruined my birthday, Father’s Day, and basically my life at the moment. I’m a huge craft beer nerd and have abstained from alcohol since this happened. I had to sell tickets to an amazing beer festival last month that I bought back in March. I was crushed. I don’t know when or if I’ll be able to drink again. My social life has collapsed due to this as my friends routinely get together for beer tastings on the weekends.

 

I honestly don’t know why this happened to me. I’m a good husband and father and have always done the right thing. I don't have any vices and try to be a good role model for my kids. This isn’t fair and it's destroying my life right now. I just want to sleep, drink beer, exercise, and be happy again. I’ve had a few windows where I feel like myself so I have to take solace in that. My wife has been incredibly supportive, too.

 

I keep regretting not tapering slower let alone taking that poison to begin with. It’s made my life a living hell. I might have to jump on an AD as I can’t deal with the depression from all of this.

 

Having said that, at least there's been progress since jumping. I was able to board a plane a few weeks ago when the mere thought of flying made me anxiety-ridden just six weeks ago, and I never had issues flying prior to this! I've also been less anxious driving after my traumatic panic attack episode.

 

Symptoms that are gone:

 

- dizziness

- tingling extremities

- heart palps

- tension headaches

- sweating

- hand tremors

- severe anxiety

- zero-hour sleep

- buzzing head

 

Improving:

 

- Insomnia (able to sleep at least 3-4 hours, 5-6 with half a Unisom)

- Depression (the chemical depression has lifted for now, still very depressed about said situation)

- Crying spells

- Exercise issues (weird foggy feeling when exerting myself)

 

Still persistent:

 

- Infrequent temple pains

- Digestive issues

- Food sensitivities

- Veiny extremities

 

Insomnia is still my biggest issue by far. The Unisom definitely helps, but I really want my normal sleep to come back unassisted. As a father with two young children and a full-time job this has been the worst side effect by far.

 

During waves my depression is the worst which is accompanied by some massive crying spells. I was prescribed an AD but holding off at the moment as I'll have windows where I feel mentally okay (outside of being depressed of this predicament).

 

I also have some food sensitivities I'm dealing with alongside some digestion issues. I also ran two miles a few days ago with no ill effects.

 

Sorry for the long post but I honestly can’t believe this is my reality. It's truly a nightmare I never saw coming.

 

This forum has been a godsend as my wife and parents don't understand what I'm going through. I keep praying that one day I'll wake up recovered. No one deserves to go through this.

Hi RKO, I'm also a short-term user, and have been through the experience of being blindsided by otherworldly symptoms. I know how incomprehensible it is that a prescription drug could leave this much damage in its aftermath. I am so glad you've made it to 2 months, that so many symptoms have already faded away and that others have begun to improve. Sounds like the worst is over. It will continue to get better with time. Sending you best wishes for continued healing

You wrote "I’m assuming the combination of starting the steroids and benzo at the same time exacerbated my withdrawal reaction? "

You are totally right! Are you still on steroids?

 

You wrote "I’m assuming the combination of starting the steroids and benzo at the same time exacerbated my withdrawal reaction? "

You are totally right! Are you still on steroids?

 

Nope, it was a six day taper pack, started same day as .5mg K

 

Day 1) 24mg

Day 2) 20mg

Day 3) 15mg

Day 4) 12mg

Day 5) 8mg

Day 6) 4mg

steroids have a strong impact on our body and you did a very fast taper. This might have been a factor as well. Steroids are hormones and also benzos do have an effect on the hormonal system, among other effects.

Its sad we wasn't informed correctly but I hope your healing will happen faster because of the short time you used them.

Take good care, eat good stuff and have hope.

What you are telling are normal symptoms of withdrawal and this gets better with time. These meds are from hell, really, they turn us upside down.

Insomnia is a problem for the most of us, but also gets better with time.

Wish you a quick healing!!

steroids have a strong impact on our body and you did a very fast taper. This might have been a factor as well. Steroids are hormones and also benzos do have an effect on the hormonal system, among other effects.

Its sad we wasn't informed correctly but I hope your healing will happen faster because of the short time you used them.

Take good care, eat good stuff and have hope.

What you are telling are normal symptoms of withdrawal and this gets better with time. These meds are from hell, really, they turn us upside down.

Insomnia is a problem for the most of us, but also gets better with time.

Wish you a quick healing!!

 

Thank you for the support. This completely blindsided me and I’ve been devastated beyond belief. It’s definitely the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through.

steroids have a strong impact on our body and you did a very fast taper. This might have been a factor as well. Steroids are hormones and also benzos do have an effect on the hormonal system, among other effects.

Its sad we wasn't informed correctly but I hope your healing will happen faster because of the short time you used them.

Take good care, eat good stuff and have hope.

What you are telling are normal symptoms of withdrawal and this gets better with time. These meds are from hell, really, they turn us upside down.

Insomnia is a problem for the most of us, but also gets better with time.

Wish you a quick healing!!

 

Thank you for the support. This completely blindsided me and I’ve been devastated beyond belief. It’s definitely the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through.

 

I totally do believe you. I was polydrugged and each single med on top destroyed my personality and my body until I was near to death. Not to speak what happened when I tried to come off. Its a nightmare and a scandal.

Did you read the Ashton manual? It describes perfectly what you are going through.

I totally do believe you. I was polydrugged and each single med on top destroyed my personality and my body until I was near to death. Not to speak what happened when I tried to come off. Its a nightmare and a scandal.

Did you read the Ashton manual? It describes perfectly what you are going through.

 

I have and tremendously regret not doing a slower taper. I don’t know if that would have helped or not given my sensitivity but this has ruined the last two months of my life. Apologies for being melodramatic but I went through an adverse event 10 years that took me well over a year to physically and mentally recover from and I don’t know if I have the strength to go through something like that again. I was perfectly healthy and these pills destroyed that.

I totally do believe you. I was polydrugged and each single med on top destroyed my personality and my body until I was near to death. Not to speak what happened when I tried to come off. Its a nightmare and a scandal.

Did you read the Ashton manual? It describes perfectly what you are going through.

 

I have and tremendously regret not doing a slower taper. I don’t know if that would have helped or not given my sensitivity but this has ruined the last two months of my life. Apologies for being melodramatic but I went through an adverse event 10 years that took me well over a year to physically and mentally recover from and I don’t know if I have the strength to go through something like that again. I was perfectly healthy and these pills destroyed that.

 

Sadly most of the members here have to face this "on top" to something else. The only thing I can tell you is that you just have no choice and therefore you just will survive this. Its better not to allow yourself thoughts like that or to tell yourself "I have to do it and I will survive this". You are happy you started perfectly healthy. Many of us started sick and now are even more sick. As my grandma told me, chin up and walk.