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Losing Hope!!


[Fi...]

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Feeling like this will never get better.  Constant dizziness, confusion, anxiety and Dp/Dr.  I feel so damaged.

 

After Forced CT in 2016... 

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Your not stuck like this trust me

 

Recovery is slow but happening with every day

 

Say to yourself. I'm not even gonna think of my stage of recovery until this time next year..then you will focus more on now and healing yourself for the day with whatever you can do for yourself

 

 

shania

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I agree with Shania. Do this crazy withdrawal minute by minute, step by step. Dont project into your future, because your future WILL happen.

I know you are suffering. I was, too. Oh how awful I felt, how totally insane I was! Symptoms of every variety I dealt with, and none of them was pleasant at all. I truly thought I had gone insane. But I hadnt. It was all benzo withdrawal, all of it. And this will  be true for you, if you just give this enough time.

It is unbelievable what we go through. I had NO idea about this and I am an RN who worked in a detox unit and on a psyche ward! Nothing prepared me for what I went through and I found it....beyond belief. But it did happen and I did survive and so can you.

 

The trick is to take it slowly. Literally, minute by minute. Learn everything you can about how to cope with your particularly miserable symptoms. Practice makes perfect in this!  You will, very slowly, begin to notice positive changes. Hopeful signs. Day by day, month by month, you will progress through The Withdrawal From Hell, just as I did.

 

Fighting, you remind me of me in many ways. I, too, thought I was the only person here who had it so bad. I truly thought I was somehow different. I know now I wasnt. Maybe my withdrawal was a bit more awful than most people - but that doesnt matter, because I did get through it and became a far healthier, better person because of it. It was WORTH THE STRUGGLE!!!!! If you stick it out, this may be true for you as well.

 

Hang in there, Buddie. Better days are coming.

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Do you mean you have health anxiety- what are the fears you are experiencing?

 

Shania

 

The fear I have are my symptoms are extremely severe and have been for a very very long time.  The dizziness can hardly walk, DP/DR, anxiety, blurry vision it is all debilitating and not getting any better.  The fear from all that is wearing on me psychologically.  I’m so hopeless.  2yrs.

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It takes time. How much time depends on so many things but you can't give up. You're stronger! We have the power to heal. I take it a year at a time.
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I think I’m having a mini nervous breakdown from all this.  The unrelenting symptoms are really bringing me down. 
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[fd...]

dizzy and boaty and vertigo and all since nov 2015, and sometimes, quite honestly, its drives me absolutely freaking crazy. its being stuck in this perpetual state, and i zone into it, cause im mildly obsessive thinker to begin with, so now in benzo withdrawal where my brain is like, "dude, Luke, holy crap, we're stuck like this!! ahhhhh!!!" i feel like im going insane,

 

and i literally think, ah this is what its like to go crazy.

 

its kinda the tremendous, tragic irony of this, is that part of this withdrawal, one of the symptoms, is to totally zone into our own condition, and that condition happens to feel horrible and whacked out as it is. its a vicious cycle.

 

i desperately try to engage in something when i get like this, i mean anything, the bird flying outside the window, if i can stand any distraction at all, or if people happen to be around, bullshitting about anything.

 

mostly i just ride it out like all of this.

 

its not just you though, its a condition of this craziness, that we are literally 'stuck" feeling so whacked out, and that in itself is fearful.

 

im still alive and believe me, ive been in this acid trip for 2 1/2 years now, i cant even believe it. i went sober from everything to end uo more whacked out then ive ever felt....

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I’m sooo scared.  This is my new reality and I can’t handle it.  I went from functional to using a walker and feeling that my brain doesn’t have the ability to fix itself.  I never thought any of this mental stuff was even possible. 

 

 

I’m trying to find my way....  I’m looking into getting a therapist, because I don’t know what else to do. 

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A therapist may help you try to cope with the symptoms but it will depend on the therapist and how much she understands about this.  I had pretty severe DP/DR for several years, the confusion seems to be part of that ... as DP/DR lifts, confusion diminishes.  You say your symptoms have been severe for a very long time and I understand that.  I didn't see much improvement in the first two years.  I didn't have dizziness which must be horrible, nor the anxiety which of course makes coping much more difficult.  I am sorry this is so very tough for you, but it should improve in time.
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I doubt that a therapist can help you with benzo withdrawal. If most psychitrists dont have a clue, why would a therapist???? The ignorance out there about benzo WD is immense.

 

What helped me was learning WHY I had all those weird and scary symptoms. Having even a basic understand ing of you brain, and how benzos affect it, helps greatly. Nothing you are going through now is unheard of. Benzo withdrawal causes MANY symptoms, causing people to think they have other diseases that they do not.

 

Going through WD is an enormous task, but one that may prove to be the best thing you ever did for yourself. Try to stay the course,l no matter how bad you feel right now.

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Consider a sedating AD (remeron or a TCA). May take the edge off. Cymbalta worked great for me with anxiety and DP/DR, but some members found it harsh. I didn't, but I hated SSRI's.
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Hi Fighting for me:

I am going thru exactly what you are going thru. Went to my therapist today. I think I am having a nervous breakdown.. I am scared of my symptoms and ,they give me anxiety>>> Feet vibrate, painful twitches all over my body... head zaps.. All I do is worry about them. I was on valium for 10 plus years  .2-.5 mg.was switched to Klonopin .5 mg. in March.  Its been a living hell. I didn't know that one would be symptomatic switching from one benzo to another ..  YOUR NOT ALONE!!!!!!  We can fight this.

:(

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Hi Fighting for me:

I am going thru exactly what you are going thru. Went to my therapist today. I think I am having a nervous breakdown.. I am scared of my symptoms and ,they give me anxiety>>> Feet vibrate, painful twitches all over my body... head zaps.. All I do is worry about them. I was on valium for 10 plus years  .2-.5 mg.was switched to Klonopin .5 mg. in March.  Its been a living hell. I didn't know that one would be symptomatic switching from one benzo to another ..  YOUR NOT ALONE!!!!!!  We can fight this.

:(

 

 

I’m too scared.  I just don’t know what to do. My brain doesn’t feel right.  I’m so so scared.  This is beyond what I can comprehend.  I can’t handle much more.  I feel like this is some cruel punishment.  Distraction isn’t helping, being around others doesn’t help.  I don’t know why there is so much suffering for people.  Feels like this is eternal. 

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I know it feels like it will last forever, that you are stuck being crazy and sick. But you are not. For some reason, some people have a truly awful withdrawal....worse than most. I was one and I think you are, too.

 

Fighting. Hang on with all your might. Eventually, you will begin to feel just a glimpse of how much better you will feel. And if you stick it out, you will find yourself feeling SO much better it will really shock you.

 

Your brain isnt "right" just now. It is always trying to heal itself. It takes time for this to occur. And waiting for this to happen can be truly frustrating. You dont know who to believe, you dont know who to trust. You hope that what you read here is true. But you have doubts about this as well.

 

Fighting. I went through a terrible CT withdrawal. TRULY terrible. Maybe worse than yours but no one can tell that, it is too complex. I know how bad I suffered and for so many years I felt terribly unwell after going CT.                        Each person has their own rate of healing. And basically all you have to do is set your mind on succeeding at this, and not giving

in to the temptation of reinstating.

If you give yourself enough time, your brain and body WILL heal itself. This is what nature designed it to do. It is we humans who keep messing our brains up by adding various drugs, supplements, etc., anything that is NOT natural like good clean food.

 

Please keep on going. You are worth so much! You are intelligent, caring, and a thinking sort of person who just needs more time to recover.

Annie (East)

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