A setback: need some input and advice

I’ve enjoyed great success over the past three months managing my insomnia. I’ve slept well most nights (between 6-7 hours on average), and I’ve almost weaned off the zopiclone I was prescribed by my doctor for my insomnia. In April and May I took a total of 2 1/2 pills, in June none. Unfortunately I had a setback earlier last week: the insomnia returned with a vengeance and I’ve hardly been able to sleep a wink since then. I’m wired but surprisingly not tired at all. I function pretty much normal, which is strange, since I’ve had several nights with zero (perceived) sleep. Does my brain sleep while I remain in a conscious state at the same time or something, because all I remember from those nights is me in my bed, tossing and turning?

Another annoying thing about this setback, though, is that I tend to freak out after two consecutive nights of no (perceived) sleep, and reach for the blasted sleeping pills again. I feel like a failure and wonder if I will mess up my healing process. Should I ditch the pills and try to suffer through the sleepless nights instead until the insomnia - hopefully - goes away again?

Since you are not actively tapering off of the pills I would most certainly ditch them because the temptation to reach for them can be almost too strong to resist when you are not getting any sleep. I threw all of mine out after taking my last dose. Going on, off and then back on these sort of meds can really mess you up once you experience going through withdrawal. In my opinion person is not really serious about getting off of a benzo or z-drug if they persist in keeping a readily available supply of them.

To answer your question about sleep...yes, it seems that we get a lot more light stage 1 sleep that we are not even aware of getting. Many was the time when my wife report hearing me snore and I would insist that I was wide awake and heard no such snoring. This is why I always advocate staying in bed to at least rest when sleep just seems to not be happening. I have noticed that when I am truly not sleeping, my body feels warmer, I can't remain comfortable in one place for long and time really seems to drag. When light sleep starts to creep in and out I feel my body cool down, it is easier to remain still and feel a greater sense of resting and time speeds up a bit. At some point your "daydreams" start to take on a direction of their own and morph into brief sleep dreams as you drift in and out of REM sleep. That always got me real excited since getting REM sleep is what keeps your brain functioning during periods of intense sleep deprivation.

Withdrawal insomnia does go away, but it can take longer than you would like. At least it gets better before it finally goes away.

Since you are not actively tapering off of the pills I would most certainly ditch them because the temptation to reach for them can be almost too strong to resist when you are not getting any sleep. I threw all of mine out after taking my last dose. Going on, off and then back on these sort of meds can really mess you up once you experience going through withdrawal. In my opinion person is not really serious about getting off of a benzo or z-drug if they persist in keeping a readily available supply of them.

 

To answer your question about sleep...yes, it seems that we get a lot more light stage 1 sleep that we are not even aware of getting. Many was the time when my wife report hearing me snore and I would insist that I was wide awake and heard no such snoring. This is why I always advocate staying in bed to at least rest when sleep just seems to not be happening. I have noticed that when I am truly not sleeping, my body feels warmer, I can't remain comfortable in one place for long and time really seems to drag. When light sleep starts to creep in and out I feel my body cool down, it is easier to remain still and feel a greater sense of resting and time speeds up a bit. At some point your "daydreams" start to take on a direction of their own and morph into brief sleep dreams as you drift in and out of REM sleep. That always got me real excited since getting REM sleep is what keeps your brain functioning during periods of intense sleep deprivation.

 

Withdrawal insomnia does go away, but it can take longer than you would like. At least it gets better before it finally goes away.

You’re right of course, I need to get off the zopiclone, even if I only take them on emergency situations and at the minimum prescribed dose (3,75 mg - or below). However, I don’t know how to get to grips with the crippling feeling of dread and panic I experience after several sleepless nights, though. Maybe I should take more comfort in knowing that I’m very likely getting some sleep after all, even if I’m not aware of it. I’ve been considering asking my doc for a another sleep aid instead, one that is not addictive, and phase out the zopiclone, but I’m not sure if that’s a good idea. I really don’t want my brain to associate sleep with taking pills at all.

I guess I’ll have to steel myself and power through the sleepless nights best I can.

Your observations on sleep are interesting. I’m doing as you do, I lay still in my bed with my eyes closed and just rest, when sleep just isn’t happening. After a while I often experience pictures or very short dream sequences flashing by before my eyes, but I’m still aware of what’s happening around me: dogs in the neighborhood barking, cars driving in the street below, my neighbor coughing, my nose itching etc. I guess I’m sleeping in a sense when that happens?

I can also relate to what you wrote about body temperature: when I’m really awake I feel warmer, when I’m about to doze off I feel cooler. Also, I think my recent bout with insomnia coincides with the hottest summer my country has experienced in decades. Light exposure and difficulties keeping cool at night make it very hard to even get some basic rest.

Thanks for the input and advice, I appreciate it a lot!