Author Topic: Anyone else shy?  (Read 1903 times)

[Buddie]

Anyone else shy?
« on: June 03, 2010, 02:21:47 am »
I have been sort of shy my whole life...but tapering the klonopin has had a big impact on my ability to socialize comfortably. I feel major anxiety whenever I  meet someone for the first time or when I'm having casual conversation with a group of people I don't know very well. Have been to psychotherapy, taken medication (klonopin obviously, ssri's, and others), and read several books about social anxiety. All of these have provided minimal relief.

A new strategy I'm working on is being mindfull and meditating.

If anyone else has experienced significant shyness please reply. I would love to get some feedback on this topic. 

Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Anyone else shy?
« Reply #1 on: June 03, 2010, 02:44:12 am »
hi jamie,

i'm not shy necessarily but definitely an introvert.  i get my energy from being alone.  until benzo w/d i had good social skills but now, like you, i find it creates a lot of anxiety having to be around others.  i'm just going to wait this symptom out and hope it eventually goes away.

just be careful not to isolate yourself too much during this process.  keep people that are emotionally healthy and supportive of you in your life on a daily basis.  reassurance is so important in this type of recovery.  God bless you. 

leslie
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Anyone else shy?
« Reply #2 on: June 03, 2010, 06:42:56 am »
I was a very shy person when I was young, and am more or less an introvert now, better than with one on one conversation than in a group. I have noticed with extroverts that they are always meeting new people, and then moving on somewhere else like a whirlwind.They make good sales people and I  loathe sales people- so aggressive. There is are a lot of good things to be said abut shy people  :thumbsup:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Anyone else shy?
« Reply #3 on: June 03, 2010, 08:19:44 am »
I've never been an extrovert.  I actually enjoy company, but I also like my own space.   Comes from my childhood I guess with three siblings much older than me. I was on my own quite a lot of the time.
In benzo withdrawal my self esteem and self confidence were knocked severely.  It's taken a lot to get myself out into the world again, but I'm enjoying getting out and about with friends again.  Got some catching up to.  For a time the thought of being in a large, happy group of people was way too scary, I just didn't go there.

I'll never be the life and soul of the party, you won't find me dancing on the table top, but I kinda like it that way. :thumbsup:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Anyone else shy?
« Reply #4 on: June 03, 2010, 03:31:53 pm »
Thank you for replying [...], [...] and [...]  :)

This is a topic that has always been very interesting to me. The ability of some people to go up to a group of strangers with full confidence in themselves is something I'm quite envious of. I never really question my self-confience when I'm alone but when I'm around a group of strangers I can't stop questioning myself (Will I do something stupid? Will I embarrass myself? Will people like me?) I have started to put more of an emphasis on what others are doing instead of worrying so much about what I'm doing and that has helped some.   

I also think I have a high level of introversion but like [...] said one can be an introvert and not necessarily shy. Or one can be an extrovert and also shy. I'm both introverted and shy which makes socializing much more difficult for me in comparison to my wife who is both extroverted and not shy.

[...] you said that your shyness went away as you grew older. Is that normal with age or did you do anything specifically to help your shyness? I'm 28 and my shyness is as bad as it's ever been.

Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Anyone else shy?
« Reply #5 on: June 03, 2010, 11:40:21 pm »
Leslie anyone I tlak to in the real world seems to assume withdrawal is nothing.  Even a therapist told me i'm on a "baby dose" and should stay on it as long as it's working.  So if I do taper and get symptoms I highly doubt I would find anyone sympathetic or supportive.  I keep not tapering because I feel good right now and I feel like it's purposely adding suffering to my life if I do taper.  I'm stuck in a bad situation where it's bad to take it or stop it.

And on topic yes I am shy at first then am comfortable.  When I was feeling withdrawal between doses I think I indeed was even more socially nervous though.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Anyone else shy?
« Reply #6 on: June 04, 2010, 12:16:01 am »
I am extremely shy.  I am 26 and have been shy since I was a child.  I was able to make friends and interact socially to an acceptable level during high school and college.  After college I moved to a new city with my husband.  I didn't know any one, and that is when my social anxiety (if thats what it is) kicked into high gear.  When I failed to adapt, my self confidence dropped to an all time low.  I began to blush and forget words when interacting with people.  I have lived here (in the *new* city) for almost 4 years and have not made a single friend.  This has no doubt contributed to my overall state of anxiety, but it's like a catch 22.  I'm anxious because I don't have friends and support, but I don't have friends and support because I'm anxious.  I even struggle having interacting with my husband sometimes, especially if it is a conversation that requires me to be vulnerable.

When I started taking Klonopin, my social anxiety did not improve.  The klonopin put me in a state where I felt muted all the time.  I felt much calmer, but I had no personality.  I felt like I was unable to be carefree and spontaneous, and that kept me from laughing and interacting with others.  I felt very strange on klonopin, like I couldn't remember how to be my old personality. 

Now that I am no longer taking klonopin, I do sometimes feel like my old self may be returning, but these are fleeting moments.  The majority of the time I am paralyzed by anxiety and panic.  My physical symptoms keep me inside a lot.  I can barely manage a short quick to the store with my husband...at this point the thought of going to a social gathering and meeting new people seems completely overwhelming and impossible.  I think a lot of my social anxiety also stems from a low self esteem right now.  I feel so broken, and quite honestly I feel ashamed and embarassed of the state I am in.  Most people do not understand benzo withdrawal, and that makes me feel a need to hide what I'm going through (which I'm sure everyone on here knows that hiding benzo withdrawal and being *normal* is totally impossible).
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Anyone else shy?
« Reply #7 on: June 04, 2010, 01:45:24 am »
JT, I'm in the same boat.  Get nervous around new people.  Cant seem to keep a conversation going.  And knowing that makes it worse.  The thing is, I know I have it in me - after a few drinks I'm much much more relaxed,  But of course that is not a solution.  Coming off Xanax has made it worse and for the last few weeks I;ve thought that maybe I needed them to function - but now I'm telling myself I'm still in withdrawl.  Scary thing is looking back at 10yrs of xanax use - what learning/coping skills have I missed because xanax was a crutch.

But please keep us posted, I'm keen to learn up on any social skills.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Anyone else shy?
« Reply #8 on: June 04, 2010, 01:57:28 am »
[...],
I know exactly what you mean about others and w/d.    It goes like this:  But you are on such a LOW dose.  Surely it won't be that hard for you to come off.   ummm hmmm  OR this:  It's gonna take you TWO MONTHS.   Yes two @#$$#@ months if I am lucky .
I am not shy by nature but this benzo has certainly made me shy and agoraphobic.   I hate it .   I feel like my personality is so different on it.
Can't wait to get off
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Anyone else shy?
« Reply #9 on: June 04, 2010, 02:22:33 am »
  Scary thing is looking back at 10yrs of xanax use - what learning/coping skills have I missed because xanax was a crutch.


I have often wondered about this myself. Coping skills have never been a strength of mine...
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.