My home - fire in the hole!

What have I done! What has happened? It was so nice, but not now anymore. But, I'm so powerless. How is it going for you?

Oh, translator, I have the same thing. I look at it as a victory if I put dishes in the dishwasher and keep the counters clean! Inside I'm calculating what needs to be done around here, but outwardly I usually don't get it done. I've started the "20 minutes a day cleaning" thing, but it always happens that there's some sort of health crisis or I feel awful, have no energy. "I'll make up for it tomorrow," I say. Well, tomorrow comes and it's too overwhelming or I want to relax from the buildup of pressure I felt from feeling terrible. On and on. Bottom line is that I'm keeping my home just livable, but I would NEVER leave it like this before. I had some OCD tendencies about keeping it clean. This has gone on far too long...You're definitely not alone.

 

Thank you for having posts on this. At least I know I'm not alone.

oh, I understand you...you still have a home with furniture and all ...even if its a mess. you know i moved to a new place and we have only the minimum and I am not able to buy furniture and other stuff. In the hall way we have some paper cartons from moving because outside is still dirt and the landscape company is digging and digging and bringing every day more dirt...it's terrible. I am in a constant state of nervouseness and try my best to tell myself that my health is more importantso I do not loose my hope...but it's so so hard....and the app is on the ground floor so people can see inside since we do not have curtains ...you have the outside blinds, when you pull them down it's completely dark so if i keep them half way people can still inside...it's like I am on the street...believe me, it can be worse than just mess in the house.

 

lots of love to you all,

mary

Terry, you're not alone!

Before this hell, I had bought a new apartment, and new things. Everything is white, chubby chic and angels. But, they look quite sad, and dusty. I loved making it homely, but I can only forget that.

 

It took a week, to clean the fridge. I have started cleaning in cabinets, but now I'm stuck. Everything, is on the floor. When, I'm going to make the floors clean, I'm sitting on the floor. I crawl, when I'm going to dust. There have been 30 very long, and difficult months. But, at least, I'm not bedside. Always something.

 

But, we'll do it, right? What, is your next project, in the cleaning process? Only words, make me tired! / Anna

I get like that, too. I'll clean out something, only to realize I have to put things back again. I set the clock. That's the only way I can do it. I need to clean out the refrigerator, too. My closet is a mess. I look at it every day but  the task seems overwhelming. That's the thing when symptoms go on and on!

 

At least you aren't bedside!!! That's great!!! Yay!!!

 

I don't really have a cleaning project lined up right now. I try to keep my condo reasonably clean, but the only time I do tackle big messes is when I'm having visitors. And then I find I have to do way too much. My son is coming over next weekend, and I'm already worrying about it. Although he says it's okay the way it is, I'm embarrassed because I see things that are a mess. I usually wait until the last minute, then go around here like crazy and clean and am too tired to enjoy my time with him!

 

Yes, we'll get through this!

Another day, in the mess! But, it's important, it's clean. it must not be unpleasant. There are things everywhere, so I'll always see where I put my feet.

The closet, with clothes, is the worst. Must push hard, so I can close the door. Should have a visit, and had just thrown everything in the closet. But, it was enough, with the ring bell on the door. Everything, went out on the floor. It's my everyday life!

 

How is it going for you?

 

 

 

Another day, in the mess! But, it's important, it's clean. it must not be unpleasant. There are things everywhere, so I'll always see where I put my feet.

The closet, with clothes, is the worst. Must push hard, so I can close the door. Should have a visit, and had just thrown everything in the closet. But, it was enough, with the ring bell on the door. Everything, went out on the floor. It's my everyday life!

 

How is it going for you?

 

Hey Translator & All! Lovely topic. "My home is one big mess" resurrected Talking about mess is the first step to bring some order out of chaos. At least we honestly acknowledge our problem here.

 

Well, the last months have been tough, as usual. It has gotten a tiny bit better. But I’m moving forward at a turtle’s pace. I called this thing "The Tidy Home Project". As "The Decluttering Project" wasn’t as accurate a description anymore. It’s much more than just decluttering...

 

My home is more or less clean as well. But getting the mess under control still seems impossible. The damn thing is living its own life. Where is the extremely organized person I used to be until the BZD hell broke loose in 2014?!

 

I’m buying the minimum number of new things. The KonMari approach really works. Only items which "spark joy". Incredible difficulties to discard stuff that doesn’t "spark joy" anymore. I’m a hoarder. It’s a part of OCD. I keep clothes I haven’t worn for years. They are good designer clothes, so who knows... Maybe I’ll wear them one day? Hell no! I’ll never put them on. Try to explain it to my Hoarding Personality Disorder... This medical condition isn’t yet described in the DSM. But they should absolutely include it there, as a part of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

 

I keep the meds I haven’t taken for months and years... I only throw them away if they expire. I could open a pharmacy with all the stuff I have.

 

I’m still able to close the wardrobes’ doors. Most stuff is there on hangers. KonMari says things should be folded... Folding clothes is my worst nightmare. At least I’m almost not buying new clothes. I used to be a shopaholic in the past. And the item I loved buying most were clothes and shoes...

 

Oh, and the papers. They will be the last to tackle... Just thinking about them makes me dizzy... I used to work in the office for years. The whole bureaucratic philosophy was that the more papers, the better. What a complete BS. Making life even more complicated. I adopted this insane mentality at home as well. Also when it comes to my disability papers... Now that I’m working part-time, the papers multiply. I’m doing my best to keep most stuff on my PC and external drives. But the compulsion to print persists...

 

I’m somehow getting the kitchen and the bedroom under control. Still a long way to go. Kitty’s restaurant on the kitchen counter has reopened for the Summer. Which means that the kitchen counter is now perfectly clean and uncluttered. I wouldn’t let her onto it if it were a mess. I’m just wondering how long the kitchen counter will survive in this condition.

 

Happy that our little support group is active again. A problem shared is a problem halved. Have a productive tidying & decluttering day, Everyone

Estee, you're so strong! I can hardly write my posts! 

Estee, you're so strong! I can hardly write my posts! 

 

Translator, writing is like breathing to me. It comes naturally. I wish it were the same with tidying Oh, and taking pix. Kitty is a miracle of nature. She should be photographed all the time. Pix taken in a tidy home look so much better! Even if a photo has a bokeh effect, I can clearly see the mess in the background. But some people feel so good about themselves they don’t care. I guess this is a healthy approach...

 

oh, I understand you...you still have a home with furniture and all ...even if its a mess. you know i moved to a new place and we have only the minimum and I am not able to buy furniture and other stuff. In the hall way we have some paper cartons from moving because outside is still dirt and the landscape company is digging and digging and bringing every day more dirt...it's terrible. I am in a constant state of nervouseness and try my best to tell myself that my health is more importantso I do not loose my hope...but it's so so hard....and the app is on the ground floor so people can see inside since we do not have curtains ...you have the outside blinds, when you pull them down it's completely dark so if i keep them half way people can still inside...it's like I am on the street...believe me, it can be worse than just mess in the house.

 

lots of love to you all,

mary

 

I cannot imagine ...

I do what I can when I can which isn't a great deal.  I am fortunate to have an easily kept apartment and only me here so no-one else to make a mess and no pets.  However, it gets me down when I see stuff lying around and I cannot muster up the energy to do anything about it.

 

This is how I view it. 

 

4.5 years ago I could barely wash the dishes and a few minutes of dusting would have me pouring with sweat and feeling dreadfully sick.  It gradually got that washing the dishes was a bit easier and I could dry them too.  Then I could wash them, dry them and put them away. Pushing a vacuum cleaner was such an ordeal. Letters would lie for months and I could not deal with them. 

 

Now I can deal with mail the day it arrives. On a good day, I can wash, dry and put away the dishes, do some dusting and also vacuum without a break.  And not be particularly unwell as a result. 

 

Maybe in another year I will be doing even more.  :thumbsup:

 

I am in a constant state of nervouseness and try my best to tell myself that my health is more importantso I do not loose my hope...but it's so so hard....and the app is on the ground floor so people can see inside since we do not have curtains ...you have the outside blinds, when you pull them down it's completely dark so if i keep them half way people can still inside...it's like I am on the street...believe me, it can be worse than just mess in the house.

 

First of all, you need thick lace curtains or Venetian/Persian blinds. Depending on the future style of the apartment. People being able to look inside your apartment must be a huge source of stress. Take care.

I do what I can when I can which isn't a great deal.  I am fortunate to have an easily kept apartment and only me here so no-one else to make a mess and no pets.  However, it gets me down when I see stuff lying around and I cannot muster up the energy to do anything about it.

 

This is how I view it. 

 

4.5 years ago I could barely wash the dishes and a few minutes of dusting would have me pouring with sweat and feeling dreadfully sick.  It gradually got that washing the dishes was a bit easier and I could dry them too.  Then I could wash them, dry them and put them away. Pushing a vacuum cleaner was such an ordeal. Letters would lie for months and I could not deal with them. 

 

Now I can deal with mail the day it arrives. On a good day, I can wash, dry and put away the dishes, do some dusting and also vacuum without a break.  And not be particularly unwell as a result. 

 

Maybe in another year I will be doing even more.  :thumbsup:

 

You are right. The methodical, systematic approach is very important. And taking into account our limitations. One needs to be realistic. Doing a little each day. Putting things away where they belong. This is all a matter of habit. Some folks feel perfectly okay with being messy. If it doesn’t disturb them, then it’s not a problem. I used to be a very orderly person before the BZD. So was Translator. BZD not only wreck people’s lives. They also destroy lifelong habits. It’s scary.

I do what I can when I can which isn't a great deal.  I am fortunate to have an easily kept apartment and only me here so no-one else to make a mess and no pets.  However, it gets me down when I see stuff lying around and I cannot muster up the energy to do anything about it.

 

This is how I view it. 

 

4.5 years ago I could barely wash the dishes and a few minutes of dusting would have me pouring with sweat and feeling dreadfully sick.  It gradually got that washing the dishes was a bit easier and I could dry them too.  Then I could wash them, dry them and put them away. Pushing a vacuum cleaner was such an ordeal. Letters would lie for months and I could not deal with them. 

 

Now I can deal with mail the day it arrives. On a good day, I can wash, dry and put away the dishes, do some dusting and also vacuum without a break.  And not be particularly unwell as a result. 

 

Maybe in another year I will be doing even more.  :thumbsup:

 

You are right. The methodical, systematic approach is very important. And taking into account our limitations. One needs to be realistic. Doing a little each day. Putting things away where they belong. This is all a matter of habit. Some folks feel perfectly okay with being messy. If it doesn’t disturb them, then it’s not a problem. I used to be a very orderly person before the BZD. So was Translator. BZD not only wreck people’s lives. They also destroy lifelong habits. It’s scary.

 

When I was desperately ill, nothing was done or very little.  If things were untidy I would try to put one thing away each day, I could not manage more than that.  I am naturally tidy too.  It wasn't just the physical limitations, I could not think and I could not make decisions.  So I could not decide (a) what to do or (2) how to do it.  It is getting much easier.  What I should pick up, where should I put it .. often I put it back down because I didn't know what to do with it or where to put it.

 

It really is a nightmare ...  :crazy:

Try living and running a business in a 200sq ft tiny house! If my brain were functional I might be able to live and work more efficiently in this environment but without the ability to organize and remember things but with these cognitive issues I spend more time trying to locate things and shuffle things around than anything.

 

It's hard to work and it's hard to relax. Everything is hard, hard, hard. Wish I knew when or if this is going to end.

I clean my home when I am feeling good and when I am feeling poorly I count the hours. At those times I think I have to rally just to die.

I'm really depressed by this mess, after 30 months on the bed and the couch. I can handle physical symptoms, but the weakness makes me crazy. But, together, we'll get through this hell. Right?

Yes, keep going, and it should one day be better.  :thumbsup:

 

I have had a better day, that is the 4th one since 5th June.  this is really the first signs of hope for me.

I have a bad cold on top of withdrawal. I am getting ready to go on vacation and needed to get my haircut. I walked on the sidewalk but had to stop every few steps because I was getting lightheaded and dizzy. I didn’t even care how they cut it. I canceled a dinner tonight and took a nap. I hoped it would make me feel better but it didn’t.

Love the sound of all white, shabby chic and angels.  I’m dreadfully sorry that Mary doesn’t have curtains and is on the ground floor.  That sucks, wish we could help you.  Benzogirl ... so sorry you’re feelin it bad.

 

I feel fortunate to have a 400 square foot apartment, high up with a gorgeous view.  So easy to keep decent as it’s just me and I’m not messy.  I’ve needed to vacuum for a couple of weeks now ... did it this morning but just the area rug where you can see the bits.  I just didn’t have the strength or energy to do it all.  At least it LOOKS clean now.  I’m saving all my energy for a yoga class I have to teach tonight. I feel so damaged and yet this is what I’m doing. I can’t sit around my whole life and wait to get better. I hate this. I have an abbessed tooth I’m on antibiotics for since yesterday.  The pain in my tooth, interestingly, feels the same as the pain in my neck and head.  Weird, maybe my head is infected.  Feels like it.  Not a great day for me but I did get the dammit vacuum out. 

I have a bad cold on top of withdrawal. I am getting ready to go on vacation and needed to get my haircut. I walked on the sidewalk but had to stop every few steps because I was getting lightheaded and dizzy. I didn’t even care how they cut it. I canceled a dinner tonight and took a nap. I hoped it would make me feel better but it didn’t.

 

The stress of the journey. That dinner can wait.

 

 

I'm really depressed by this mess, after 30 months on the bed and the couch. I can handle physical symptoms, but the weakness makes me crazy. But, together, we'll get through this hell. Right?

 

Sure, Translator. Admitting that a problem exists is the first step towards solving it. I also feel as though I suffered from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome most of the time. This is why I decreased Prozac by half.

 

Got the kitchen and bedroom under control yesterday. I hope to tackle these two more or less completely this evening.

 

We have to tidy up bit by bit. One day at a time. And do everyday household chores, as Fiona rightly noticed. This is how we’ll overcome all this chaos.

 

"Clutter is the physical manifestation of unmade decisions fueled by procrastination." [Christina Scalise]

Figured I'd poke my head in & say hello ...

 

I had a burst of sunny weather energy and was able to vacuum! 

(Huge for me ... for some reason, I can keep clutter at bay but vacuuming puts me out - between an old rotator cuff injury and just, well, I don't know... my house needs it way more than I'm able to do it...)

 

I did find this nifty gadget that's been a life-saver for the hard floors... you sweep debris up to it and it automatically turns on and sucks it all up... no more bending to chase fluff-balls of fur that won't go into the dust pan.

I can clean, if I'm sitting on the floor. But, I'm still too weak.  Now, cartons everywhere, and try to sort. Slowly but surely. Why, are there so many things in a home? What I don't need, I'll give to others. Then, it will be easier. How is it going for you?

I can clean, if I'm sitting on the floor. But, I'm still too weak.  Now, cartons everywhere, and try to sort. Slowly but surely. Why, are there so many things in a home? What I don't need, I'll give to others. Then, it will be easier. How is it going for you?

 

Plodding along... One day at a time. Some progress has been achieved. But still a long way to go. Cardboard boxes are an excellent solution. Been there, done that. You discard everything that doesn’t "spark joy", remember. Put it in large bin bags. The rest in cardboard boxes.

 

You sort by category. Keeping each category in the same place. You tackle one category, then move to another. Marie Kondō offers this simplified "sorting by category" guide:

 

Clothing - Books - Papers - Komono (miscellaneous items) - Mementos (items with sentimental value).

 

Makes a lot of sense to follow this order.

 

Whom are you planning to give your stuff to, Translator? I would like to sell some of my things, but that requires lots of effort. I guess it’s the best idea.

 

There are too many items cause one used to buy too much. To fill the existential void. I’m now only buying the necessary stuff. Until my home is in perfect order.

 

Don’t know if you like Guns N’Roses. They’ll be playing in Göteborg tonight. After 5 pm. There are some tickets left. They keep rehashing their old hits, but their concerts are still fun to see.

 

Happy Saturday