7 months off

During the first 3 months I always celebrated each month off. Now the time off hurts me. The longer I go, the worse I get.

 

Extreme cognitive impairment, severe memory issues that were nowhere near this bad earlier on, constant intrusive memories from my previous life, a body that can't comprehend the most basic functions, can't feel breathe coming in, can't swallow/talk at times, disorientated constantly, full body numbness, waking up with delusions, loss of limb coordination. I have most of the other typical stuff, tinnitus, heart palps, tremors, depression, dizziness etc.

 

If people say the severity of symptoms indicates healing then maybe my body is using this time to turn me into Captain America because it is hard to believe that all the shit that is going on with me needs healing from my short term use.

 

Awaiting something resembling a window, or even anything other than gradual decline for the first time in 4 months.

 

Wrote a blog about how I got into this mess if anyone wants to check it out.

 

https://theprospectroads.wordpress.com/2018/07/03/one-year-ago/

So sorry you are feeling his way. Sending you lots of love. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Just checking in on you how are you doing? I read your blog. So sorry this is happening to you. Please keep us updated.

No good unfortunately. Maybe a little better physically, but mentally I'm struggling desperately and some of my neurological issues are really concerning. Eyes are deteriorating and my mouth is completely numb and seems to think air is liquid and tries to swallow it, basically all my perceptions are way off and making the smallest things, chewing and swalloing and breathing very tricky.

I am concerned. Have you had any blood tests? I know that this is extremely hard and the first line of defense is acceptance but can you get some tests done to rule out other medical issues? Also, are you resting properly? I hope you can. When little symptoms arise, I head to bed before they get worse.  If I don’t they escalate.  This could be me in a couple months as waves hit me pretty bad and I want you to know we are not going anywhere. Here for you.

Gooner, you've come so far. We know it ends, trust me I know it doesn't feel like it but we gotta hold on to hope. The ungodly amount of time this takes is unbearable. You will get a break, you know all of those symptoms are your body sorting stuff out making sure everything is right before you get sent on your way. Hang in there buddy, I look forward to your success story.

Done all the blood tests, MRI, CT scans etc.

 

The most they can find is dodgy hormone levels, Thyroid is hyper, low testosterone and other hormones. I don't have any stress other than my body and mind are deteriorating. I don't/can't do anything that would make symptoms any worse. I also sleep 6-8 hours every night. I don't eat any processed foods, only fresh veg, fruit, legumes, fish etc.

 

I don't get windows and waves, unless this wave has lasted 4 months. Its just the way I am now. Thanks for support.

Sorry I hate being so negative. This has fundamentally changed me as a person. Just with the actual depression and my ever worsening physical state I find it hard to see any light.

Your response to Mrs. Badger indicates that you ARE living a healthy life; just not where you want to be yet. I can so relate.  The fear of never being normal seems to trump the progress. We will get there.