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I read through withdrawal articles the odd time to pass the time. Sometimes they upset me, sometimes they bring me comfort.

 

I enjoy this guys writing a lot. But it really worries me reading it. From reading his other articles all I can think of is wow sounds like he went through a rough withdrawal. Then I read this and he says he worked after three months and took on a carpentry job. He came off 9 long term psyche medications and was working in three months.

 

I was on a low dose for a short period of time and tapered off. I'm going into month 8 and I've been getting progressively worse for the last 4 months. I can barely cook myself food many days and I have trouble following football, talking to my GF and walking to the shop. I would do anything to be able to work but I wouldn't be able to do a convincing interview never mind even an hour of work.

 

https://www.madinamerica.com/2013/03/social-vacuum/

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I don’t get how people say they are in absolute physical and mental hell and then talk about working and driving etc. I guess we all have different definitions of what hell is.
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Yeah I see people saying things like, I had such a bad weekend, I was out for dinner with a friend and had a panic attack. It says a lot that I'm jealous of those people.
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Ajusta: I really admire, those who go to work. What strength! Many here, live in a very tough situation, but there is no other solution. Everybody, lives in hell, nobody's worse than anyone else. I think, that those who work, are even worse. They must work, even if they are very ill. They can't lay on the couch, when it's difficult. How do they do this?

 

To suffer in silence, and to do all that is part of life, is very strong. It is truly admirable! Do you also think so? :)

 

 

 

 

 

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Ajusta: I really admire, those who go to work. What strength! Many here, live in a very tough situation, but there is no other solution. Everybody, lives in hell, nobody's worse than anyone else. I think, that those who work, are even worse. They must work, even if they are very ill. They can't lay on the couch, when it's difficult. How do they do this?

 

To suffer in silence, and to do all that is part of life, is very strong. It is truly admirable! Do you also think so? :)

 

I don't comment on here much anymoe but I agree with this post 1000%. 

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Everybody, lives in hell, nobody's worse than anyone else. I think, that those who work, are even worse. They must work, even if they are very ill. They can't lay on the couch, when it's difficult. How do they do this?

 

I don't think this is true. I'm sure all of us have suffered tremendously but who is to say whether some folks have it worse than others? I'm sure there are varying degrees of this just like any other health issue. I would love to think that I am stronger than everyone else due to the fact that I have never really been house or bedbound for any length of time but maybe I didn't have it as bad as others or maybe I just had different symptoms that allowed me to be more functional on a basic level. No one really knows.

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Everybody, lives in hell, nobody's worse than anyone else. I think, that those who work, are even worse. They must work, even if they are very ill. They can't lay on the couch, when it's difficult. How do they do this?

 

I don't think this is true. I'm sure all of us have suffered tremendously but who is to say whether some folks have it worse than others? I'm sure there are varying degrees of this just like any other health issue. I would love to think that I am stronger than everyone else due to the fact that I have never really been house or bedbound for any length of time but maybe I didn't have it as bad as others or maybe I just had different symptoms that allowed me to be more functional on a basic level. No one really knows.

 

I agree with you, FG.  I struggled to go to work every single day for most of my adult life, physically and cognitively impaired, usually depressed as well, it was terrible and such a huge struggle but I would never have described it as hell.  My experience of withdrawal was truly HELL, there just is no other word to describe it and I put it in capitals for emphasis.  Of course some people going through benzo withdrawal have a worse time than others ... that is just obvious.  I guess people do have different definitions of hell, that is understandable ... some hells are a lot worse than others.

 

I don't think I am stronger than anyone else, I have just been dealt a different hand in life.

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Of course, I didn't want this to come across as I'm belittling someone elses suffering. More I just get a little disheartened when I compare myself to them (and I know I shouldn't do that), and get disappointed. Especially when he was so long term and polydrugged and I had a short term dose and am now incapacitated
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Of course, I didn't want this to come across as I'm belittling someone elses suffering. More I just get a little disheartened when I compare myself to them (and I know I shouldn't do that), and get disappointed. Especially when he was so long term and polydrugged and I had a short term dose and am now incapacitated

 

You didn't come across like that at all, you have been hit so terribly hard after short term use, my heart goes out to you every time I read you posts. It was translator's comment that I found a little curious ... there are so many different levels of suffering here ... vastly different ...

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Understandable, gooner_nate. It is hard to talk about these things. Being an introvert by nature, I don't like to talk and write about my suffering much. But yes, I do believe that some folks can "tolerate" certain psychiatric drugs much better and much longer. Also, some people are more resilient than others and have higher tolerance to pain and grief. The guy who wrote an article is a climber after all, and such folks usually have a great ability to tame their fear and redirect it. I can certainly relate to him being an introvert and having social anxiety (I prefer to call it just being shy), but I still scratch my head how he was able to climb while taking Ativan, Valium or Klonopin. Made no sense to me. It was actually his climbing partner who saw him take a Klonopin during a difficult climb and just wonering and saying: "With you being a climber, I wondered how it all worked". I am very grateful for his contributions to understanding psychiatric drug withdrawal issues, however.
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Yes. Ativan can be very disabling, gooner_nate. I am sorry for your suffering. It should really be reserved for Emergency Room use. Looking back, I didn't even realize I had undergone many small, partial withdrawals from it that I worked through, until the big one hit me and left me paralyzed by fear and made me housebound. Agoraphobia for those who have/had been on Ativan is pretty common. I am not sure that I would have done necessarily better on any other bzd, but I would like to think that the other ones (with the exception of Xanax, of course) would not have been as disabling to me as Ativan had been. I don't have a way to prove it, but I have a strong feeling that I would have not been so incapacitated on the other ones.

 

I am glad you are off of it. It will take time to get better. It is a harsh experience.

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There is absolutely no way I could work even if it meant I would starve to death.  I struggle just typing on this tablet.I can’t even use my laptop because I can’t cope with the weight of it on me while lying on the sofa. A lot of the time I can’t see to read. I can’t cope with noise. I can’t hold a book because the touch of paper creeps me out. I don’t think everybody is in that situation.
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There is absolutely no way I could work even if it meant I would starve to death.  I struggle just typing on this tablet.I can’t even use my laptop because I can’t cope with the weight of it on me while lying on the sofa. A lot of the time I can’t see to read. I can’t cope with noise. I can’t hold a book because the touch of paper creeps me out. I don’t think everybody is in that situation.

 

I am sorry, Ajusta.  I have some idea of what you are suffering .... as I have been there too. 

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I did a CT,  Diazepam after 25 years. Then a reinstallation, with Xanax and sleeping pills (my husband died). During the first 23 months, I was bedside in a dark room with cramps, hallucinations, DR/DP + 30 symptoms. I could hardly get to the bathroom. Can I say, that I've had it harder than others? No, I can't. Everyone, lives in their own hell, all in their own way. There is no meter, or scale, on pain and suffering. But, no-one, can say that it's harder than others. :)

 

Ajusta: Everyone, is very hard. Thats why, I would never write, that I'm worse than others. It would feel like insulting. You are telling your difficulties with the computer, but you write and respond. You have been to a doctor, and an acupuncture. That's positive! In the first months, I had zero power in my hands, writing on the computer was completely unthinkable. All I could do was chew the food. So, there is a lot of positive too! :)

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Nobody is saying you didn’t but a lot of people don’t have it that bad.

 

Some do and some don’t.

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I did a CT,  Diazepam after 25 years. Then a reinstallation, with Xanax and sleeping pills (my husband died). During the first 23 months, I was bedside in a dark room with cramps, hallucinations, DR/DP + 30 symptoms. I could hardly get to the bathroom. Can I say, that I've had it harder than others? No, I can't. Everyone, lives in their own hell, all in their own way. There is no meter, or scale, on pain and suffering. But, no-one, can say that it's harder than others. :)

 

Ajusta: Everyone, is very hard. Thats why, I would never write, that I'm worse than others. It would feel like insulting. You are telling your difficulties with the computer, but you write and respond. You have been to a doctor, and an acupuncture. That's positive! In the first months, I had zero power in my hands, writing on the computer was completely unthinkable. All I could do was chew the food. So, there is a lot of positive too! :)

 

I find your views at odds with mine, translator.  I often see that some people are suffering more than I am, should I not then say that this is the case because I cannot possibly know if they are actually in worse hell than me.  Should I refrain from making any comment whatsoever? I think it works both ways really.  I can see very clearly that ajusta is suffering more than I am right now .. it is obvious  even though we are both housebound and unable to function ... would I be upset if she said she was worse than me, well of course not.  Why would I be insulted? Why should she not compare her suffering to someone who is able to function and go to work even though it is terribly hard for them.  We spend much of our time here comparing our experiences and I don't see a problem with that. 

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Looking: I just want to show respect, for other people's symptoms. Everyone, is suffering in their own way. I don't want to say, that someone else has it easier than I have. :)
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Looking: I just want to show respect, for other people's symptoms. Everyone, is suffering in their own way. I don't want to say, that someone else has it easier than I have. :)

 

We all have different ways of expressing ourselves and that is good.  :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

 

 

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Nobody is saying you didn’t but a lot of people don’t have it that bad.

 

Some do and some don’t.

 

Not everyone has it that bad. Many people take benzos for some bad situation, but their life improves very quickly and they leave the benzos and do ok, not even realizing the level of suffering they escaped. It's the folks with chronic physical conditions and never ending stresses and traumas that end up not able to cease their benzo use without a bad withdrawal.

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