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tapering despite daily anxiety and panic attacks


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hello guys

 

i started tapering off valium about a 8-9 months ago from about 15mg. first i made a few 1mg cuts and then 0.5 and now trying smaller cuts now i am at 3mg. i hear a lot of people talking about stabilizing between drops but i have felt awful from the beginning and started tapering because i thought i was in tolerance and experiencing paradoxical effects. i have been making the drops despite having daily panic attacks, anxiety, fear, depression, fatigue, insomnia, agoraphobia, obsessive thinking etc.

 

my question is am i doing the right thing?

 

on my worst days i just want to say 'i cant do this anymore' and swallow 20mg for some relief and tackle a taper in a year or 2, but i dont want to feel like i am going backwards as hard as it is. but i am desperate for some relief. this is severely affecting my mental state and having a very detrimental effect on my relationship with my girlfriend. i can barely leave the apartment or do anything.

 

should i continue as i am or go back up, get some quality of life back and start again at a later date?

 

i am also not convinced that this is all to do with valium w/d but might be due to panic disorder which i had in the past and which might have returned.

 

some encouraging words would be greatly apreciated.

 

thanks

 

frank

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hello guys

 

i started tapering off valium about a 8-9 months ago from about 15mg. first i made a few 1mg cuts and then 0.5 and now trying smaller cuts now i am at 3mg. i hear a lot of people talking about stabilizing between drops but i have felt awful from the beginning and started tapering because i thought i was in tolerance and experiencing paradoxical effects. i have been making the drops despite having daily panic attacks, anxiety, fear, depression, fatigue, insomnia, agoraphobia, obsessive thinking etc.

 

my question is am i doing the right thing?

 

on my worst days i just want to say 'i cant do this anymore' and swallow 20mg for some relief and tackle a taper in a year or 2, but i dont want to feel like i am going backwards as hard as it is. but i am desperate for some relief. this is severely affecting my mental state and having a very detrimental effect on my relationship with my girlfriend. i can barely leave the apartment or do anything.

 

should i continue as i am or go back up, get some quality of life back and start again at a later date?

 

i am also not convinced that this is all to do with valium w/d but might be due to panic disorder which i had in the past and which might have returned.

 

some encouraging words would be greatly apreciated.

 

thanks

 

frank

 

Frank, you've come to the right place.  Have you been tapering all on your own; no support group, on-line or otherwise?  You've done very well, and we all know how hard it is.  All of your withdrawal sxs sound familiar.  All TOO familiar.  I am tapering clonazepam, not Valium, but I don't feel like I stabilize at all between drops either.  It's been rough every single day.  But, I don't see any way out of this but to continue on down and off.  Perhaps others will come along soon who have experience with Valium to offer support.  In the meantime, please know you aren't alone.  ~~mbr  P.S.  Has your gf been willing to read up about benzo withdrawal?  The Ashton Manual is a great resource for both general info about benzos and also for Valium tapers.

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thanks for the response mbr

 

yes i have pretty much been doing it alone after reading the ashton tapering method, but find myself brought to my knees right now. i am literally spending every day in an extreme anxiety state and sporadic crying fits. i notice that you are on remeron. my dr suggested that to me. do you think it helps?

 

regards

 

frank

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Frank, the only thing Remeron helps me with is sleep.  (I'll take it!)  It is pretty sedating, but it does nothing for my depression. But then, the SSRIs didn't work for me last spring/summer either when I started this awful episode of anxiety/depression that won't quit.  It may be that I was already in tolerance withdrawal from the clonazepam, but my doctor kept increasing the clon dose to no good effect.  I think I just kept getting tolerant faster than my upping the dose could keep up with.  So, in the fall, I stated to taper.  It has been hell every step of the way.  I feel huge anxiety, lethargy, shakiness, loss of appetite, nausea, dark thoughts, adrenaline rushes...you name it.  And, I still have 1 mg. (equivalent of 20 mgs. Valium) to go.  Never felt worse in my life.  I've held as much as three weeks, but don't seem to settle down much.  Like you, I can't tell what's the drug and what's my underlying anxiety, but I know my underlying stuff is just made worse by the taper.  I feel scared all the time and force myself to do anything I do.  Again, you are not alone.  Many good people here going through the same thing.  ~~mbr
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My thoughts go out to both of you.  Stay the course and be strong.  You don't need me to tell you that. It seems like you have both come so far already.    I hope that you both make it through this soon.  I am in the middle of my taper and plan to cut again next week.    Scared , but am just gonna do it  Can't wait to be off of this stuff

 

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My thoughts go out to both of you.   Stay the course and be strong.   You don't need me to tell you that. It seems like you have both come so far already.     I hope that you both make it through this soon.  I am in the middle of my taper and plan to cut again next week.    Scared , but am just gonna do it  Can't wait to be off of this stuff

 

Thanks, Melissa7.  You should do well.  You haven't been on Ativan that long.  I'm a 6-year veteran of Klon, and that sure doesn't help with getting off.  Not a healthy GABA site to be found in my brain, I'm sure.  How much are you going to cut next week?  Do you have many sxs?  Best, ~~mbr

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Most transient depersonalization, anxiety and the floaty boat thing.    Although floaty boat is better since stopping seroquel.  I hope I do well  I figure I have about 2months left if I do a slow taper.  Maybe longer  Thanks for the encouragement
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mbr,

Thanks for encouraging me.  I know I've only been on a short time but for some it seems like time doesn't matter it's still hard.  I do remind myself though that I haven't been on long and that is a plus not a minus.  Thanks for reminding me.

 

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hi frank,

 

i doubt your symptoms are related to your past experience with panic disorder.  i say that because i'm dealing with the same exact symptoms and i never had any anxiety issues prior to benzos.  i think you should stay where you are if you can and then taper very slowly.  now is the best time as any to get off this stuff. 

 

God bless you.

 

leslie

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nice blok and mbr, ya'll both sound just like my dad.  he has .25 left of clonaz and has extreme anxiety.  can barely fold clothes, can't concentrate doens't want talk to people.  he is 67 years old.  its been a hard road.  if ya'll have any tips on what you do for anxiety, please share.  he just paces all day.  he watches game shows during the day which helps a little.  i have told him yoga, meditation, reading, but its hard to do all of that he says.  i hope you find relief too.  ya'll all should once off of this!
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