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I wish I’d made a different username


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So here I am 5 days into cut & hold, feeling poorly, physically & emotionally & it strikes me that I really should have chosen a different username. I’m very overly sensitive right now, but I don’t like feeling like everyone is prejudging me, my intentions, nor my ability to taper. I also don’t like it because it’s not good for me to associate my thoughts with it. Now I’m stuck with this negative connotation username. It’s my own fault, I didn’t put enough thought into making a better suited one for this epic journey ahead.

 

I’m not in a very creative mood, but if I had to do it over again or could change it now, I would use Faith.

Haven't had my daily cry since starting taper & switching generics yet & it’s creeping in fast.

That’s all thanks for listening-be well

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Can you not change your username? If not, maybe you could just make a new profile? Is that allowed? FYI, I did not judge you by your username! We are all scared, that's for sure. But Faith is a beautiful name and it's definitely uplifting. Much love you you Scaredie/Faith  :smitten:
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Can you not change your username? If not, maybe you could just make a new profile? Is that allowed? FYI, I did not judge you by your username! We are all scared, that's for sure. But Faith is a beautiful name and it's definitely uplifting. Much love you you Scaredie/Faith  :smitten:

Much thanks olive kitty for all & for not judging my username(there’s only minor few That have made me feel that way & this withdrawal is giving me pretty bad depression/extra sensitive things like that,that I could be imagining.

 

No, you can’t change your username. Because all of my posts & replies to that people have made to them. I’m doubting you can change your profile too, or the moderators would have told me when I asked them about username...bummer, but that life

 

Love to you too xx

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This post may sound harsh, but I hope you can see its really a message of hope and inspiration.

 

I have followed nearly all of your posts from the time you began here on BB.  So its really pretty clear you chose that user name because it really was (and I think continues to be) an accurate description of your mindset.

 

But the problem is NOT your username, it IS your mindset.

 

  Your posts are filled with concerns about things that might go wrong, things that might not work, fears about products and procedures, focuses on sxs, etc.  I never see anything that focuses on hope, on the anticipation of success, good things, being off of benzos, etc.

 

I know I have told you previously that it is your attitude that will really determine the success of your taper.  Its more important than C&H vs DLMT.  Its more important than liquid vs scales.  Its more important than compounded vs Rx.  Its more important than Teva vs Mylan. Etc...Folks have successfully tapered using any or all of the above. 

 

I really don't know how tell you to change your perspective, but I can tell you it will make a difference.  Have you thought about maybe some therapy to go along with your taper.

 

Wishing you nothing but success!!! :)

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Your username is perfectly ok, Scaredie. There is absolutely nothing wrong being scared in this process. Please keep in mind that this "anxiety" during the taper process is very physiological in nature. It's the byproduct of withdrawal and the effect of brain adaptations that happened while taking the medication and waiting for them to be reversed. Having faith and hope about the fact that our bodies intrinsically heal is big, and the key is to somehow hold on to that. Faking positivity and optimism on the days when there is nothing to be positive or optimistic about is not being authentic and genuine to ourselves and just makes us expend energy we don't have.

 

Treating a purely physiological process (benzo withdrawal) as psychological is what gets people in this mess in the first place. Treating things as psychological means not understanding how benzodiazepines work, which could lead to trying to psych yourself into trying to taper more quickly than what your brain and body can adjust.

 

There is a lot of tough talk around here, but lets not forget how many people taper in quiet and in silence so they don't get triggered by other people. In fact, many people finish their tapers or at least a big part of them before they even join this site. I applaud your courage to feel vulnerable through this and reach out for help when you need it. That is key!!!!

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I rather liked your username when I saw it as we are all scared in this process and in Scotland of course where I come from we use the word "scaredie" often when teasing someone in fun. I felt a sense of fondness when I saw you had chosen it.

But on a more serious note, I think it is good to have a positive name because every time you see it, I mean you not everyone else, it does have negative connotations.  My own name "looking forward" was chosen because it is positive but sometimes I have detested it as I could see nothing to look forward to.  >:( >:(>:( >:(  And I thought I was a fool to choose it.  Not so much now though.  So even a positive username can cause problems.  And as for that avatar .. well I usually look more like a snarling tiger than a smiling cat.

 

:crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy:

 

 

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This post may sound harsh, but I hope you can see its really a message of hope and inspiration.

 

I have followed nearly all of your posts from the time you began here on BB.  So its really pretty clear you chose that user name because it really was (and I think continues to be) an accurate description of your mindset.

 

But the problem is NOT your username, it IS your mindset.

 

  Your posts are filled with concerns about things that might go wrong, things that might not work, fears about products and procedures, focuses on sxs, etc.  I never see anything that focuses on hope, on the anticipation of success, good things, being off of benzos, etc.

 

I know I have told you previously that it is your attitude that will really determine the success of your taper.  Its more important than C&H vs DLMT.  Its more important than liquid vs scales.  Its more important than compounded vs Rx.  Its more important than Teva vs Mylan. Etc...Folks have successfully tapered using any or all of the above. 

 

I really don't know how tell you to change your perspective, but I can tell you it will make a difference.  Have you thought about maybe some therapy to go along with your taper.

 

Wishing you nothing but success!!! :)

Thank you, builder. Yes, I absolutely need therapy, am on a waiting list for another few weeks to get in. Your encouragement is appreciated & not taken in a harsh way. I have an off topic question for you, also though.

What do you think of the following.

 

Thank you for all of the input.

I have to travel for a very important medical appointment at the end of the month & will also be visiting family. I didn’t realize how fast that was sneaking up on me. I can’t be housebound right now nor in the near future.

Not knowing when I’ll stabilize right now or what generic I’ll end up on yet, or even if I started with too big of a cut, may be too much for me right now.

Also, I may need to start therapy before restarting a taper, if I decide to reinstate. I’m really starting to think reinstating until I get through this appointment/out of town, start therapy, stabilize on new generic & in general may be best idea. But I don’t want to kindle or let myself or others on here that are routing for me down. I must do what’s best for me, though. But what is that?

Will I kindle if I reinstate after 6 days?

Much thanks, Scaredie

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Your username is perfectly ok, Scaredie. There is absolutely nothing wrong being scared in this process. Please keep in mind that this "anxiety" during the taper process is very physiological in nature. It's the byproduct of withdrawal and the effect of brain adaptations that happened while taking the medication and waiting for them to be reversed. Having faith and hope about the fact that our bodies intrinsically heal is big, and the key is to somehow hold on to that. Faking positivity and optimism on the days when there is nothing to be positive or optimistic about is not being authentic and genuine to ourselves and just makes us expend energy we don't have.

 

Treating a purely physiological process (benzo withdrawal) as psychological is what gets people in this mess in the first place. Treating things as psychological means not understanding how benzodiazepines work, which could lead to trying to psych yourself into trying to taper more quickly than what your brain and body can adjust.

 

There is a lot of tough talk around here, but lets not forget how many people taper in quiet and in silence so they don't get triggered by other people. In fact, many people finish their tapers or at least a big part of them before they even join this site. I applaud your courage to feel vulnerable through this and reach out for help when you need it. That is key!!!!

 

I never tapered, but I'm with LF on this.  Bravo, LF!  It's physioligical.

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Your username is perfectly ok, Scaredie. There is absolutely nothing wrong being scared in this process. Please keep in mind that this "anxiety" during the taper process is very physiological in nature. It's the byproduct of withdrawal and the effect of brain adaptations that happened while taking the medication and waiting for them to be reversed. Having faith and hope about the fact that our bodies intrinsically heal is big, and the key is to somehow hold on to that. Faking positivity and optimism on the days when there is nothing to be positive or optimistic about is not being authentic and genuine to ourselves and just makes us expend energy we don't have.

 

Treating a purely physiological process (benzo withdrawal) as psychological is what gets people in this mess in the first place. Treating things as psychological means not understanding how benzodiazepines work, which could lead to trying to psych yourself into trying to taper more quickly than what your brain and body can adjust.

 

There is a lot of tough talk around here, but lets not forget how many people taper in quiet and in silence so they don't get triggered by other people. In fact, many people finish their tapers or at least a big part of them before they even join this site. I applaud your courage to feel vulnerable through this and reach out for help when you need it. That is key!!!!

Thank you, LF. That’s very helpful and encouraging.

 

Sorry if I ask anything I’ve already asked you in the past.

I see in your signature it says, tapered slowly & had a hard time all the way down. Do you mean that you tapered slowly from when you up at 2-3 per day & had a hard time tapering from your higher doses as well as your lower doses?

 

I know it’s physiological, but I do need therapy for all sorts of stuff, just life in general. Hopefully, my therapist can help with coping strategies/skills needed to taper & has an understanding of benzo withdrawal. I’m on a waiting list to see her.

 

Treating things as psychological means not understanding how benzodiazepines work, which could lead to trying to psych yourself into trying to taper more quickly than what your brain and body can adjust.

 

Yes, so if I’m having a hard time on a mere .25mg out of 3.5mg daily total cut & hold, might it be just too fast for me personally & ok to reinstate after 6 days, stabilize on new generic, get out of town trip upcoming @ end of month past first, start therapy(have some support), then re address how I should taper? Know you can’t read the future, but appreciate your feedback. It hasn’t been awful, but have been nonfunctional & don’t know if wise to be in that state leading up to important travel?

 

Thanks for sharing knowledge & love

XX Scaredie

 

 

 

 

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Of course benzo dependency and withdrawal are physiological conditions.  But your expectations and attitude will dramatically effect how successful you are.

 

Any med professional will tell you that your mindset will effect your recovery from any medical condition.

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Of course benzo dependency and withdrawal are physiological conditions.  But your expectations and attitude will dramatically effect how successful you are.

 

Any med professional will tell you that your mindset will effect your recovery from any medical condition.

:thumbsup:

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I rather liked your username when I saw it as we are all scared in this process and in Scotland of course where I come from we use the word "scaredie" often when teasing someone in fun. I felt a sense of fondness when I saw you had chosen it.

But on a more serious note, I think it is good to have a positive name because every time you see it, I mean you not everyone else, it does have negative connotations.  My own name "looking forward" was chosen because it is positive but sometimes I have detested it as I could see nothing to look forward to.  >:( >:(>:( >:(  And I thought I was a fool to choose it.  Not so much now though.  So even a positive username can cause problems.  And as for that avatar .. well I usually look more like a snarling tiger than a smiling cat.

 

:crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy:

Much thanks, looking forward. I’ll try to look at it as honest & capable of creating a sense of fondness, instead of any negativity. I get what your saying about your username too.

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This post may sound harsh, but I hope you can see its really a message of hope and inspiration.

 

I have followed nearly all of your posts from the time you began here on BB.  So its really pretty clear you chose that user name because it really was (and I think continues to be) an accurate description of your mindset.

 

But the problem is NOT your username, it IS your mindset.

 

  Your posts are filled with concerns about things that might go wrong, things that might not work, fears about products and procedures, focuses on sxs, etc.  I never see anything that focuses on hope, on the anticipation of success, good things, being off of benzos, etc.

Your right builder. I thought I was ready to start right out of the gate when I came here, but I was wrong. I’m obviously having emotional struggles with treatment resistant depression & I now know I need therapy for support & better coping mechanisms & thought processes, not only for my taper, but for depression & life in general. Do try to appreciate that you had a symptom free taper & I don’t know if you suffer from depression? but mine is physiological too, so I can’t just say, snap out of it, be happy. I don’t know what it’s going to take, but depression can be absolutely debilitating, so I’ll try therapy again & try to add healthier things from there. I think I’m going to have to figure out a slow enough method of tapering that it doesn’t trigger deeper depression for me. I’ve so appreciated all of the taper help ideas people have offered, but between my benzo brain & depression, I havnt been able to grasp the concepts. I know your coming from a good place. Thank you, Scaredie

 

I really don't know how tell you to change your perspective, but I can tell you it will make a difference.  Have you thought about maybe some therapy to go along with your taper.

 

Wishing you nothing but success!!! :)

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Hi Scaredie,

 

For starters, I'd do some reading:

 

benzo.org.uk and benzosupport.org are great places to do some research.

 

This chart

 

https://www.benzo.org.uk/bzequiv.htm

 

will tell you that the "measly" .25mg Klonopin you are cutting out is roughly equivalent to 5mg Valium, so that is not a small cut by any means. The "no stability on the way down" in my comment meant that I started having intolerable symptoms while I was on 2-3mg Ativan. I evened out my doses, so I ended up on 2.5mg Ativan and slowly worked my way down. The symptoms vary a lot for different people, but I got agoraphobic on 2.5mg ativan, and in spite of my best efforts, I just couldn't get rid of that symptom. Yes, it helps to have a hopeful outlook, but it is also helpful to be able to self-soothe and talk back to some of the symptoms or thoughts that give rise to problems. Some people frame this as a battle, some as a journey, some as transformation, some as survival. It depends on your personality, and finding what works for you is the best.

 

As far as reinstating, I am not sure. People do it, but they sometimes find that there is very little relief from it. The idea is to gently lower your doses based on how you feel and stay on the same dose if reducing further seems impossible. Your body will let you know in no uncertain terms whenever you reach a plateau.

 

And stability means different things to different folks. Stability to me would be not having severe withdrawal symptoms while on medication. However, things sometimes get dire, and stability may end up meaning just "good enough, so I don't have to run to ER /psychiatric hospital".

 

Based on what you are describing, you may need to go more slowly, and perhaps decrease by .125mg and then stay there until you feel a bit better, etc.

 

I had to micro-taper ativan in 0.05mg or 0.02mg increments, while adding Valium to make this survivable. Ativan is short to medium acting, and is very hard to get off of and many folks either switch to Valium or Klonopin. Sometimes, switching to Valium is not always possible or not fully possible as Ativan and Klonopin are very different drugs from Valium, and are designed to be stronger. Since Klonopin has a longer half life than ativan, you can most likely avoid any substitutions to another benzo, but please keep in mind that Klonopin is quite strong, and that it is better to reduce it slowly, rather than go too fast and then need to go back up on the previous or even higher dose.

 

And then, the severity of the symptoms is so individual from one person to another, and some people may still be able to work and live life while tapering, the others may have to put their life on hold, go on a leave of absence from work, or get help from their spouses, family and friends to even be able to do this. People have different physiologies and capacities and different life situations, so you'll know best what to do.

 

The basic mechanism behind how benzos affect the brain and body is that the body will adapt to the presence of a benzo. Sometimes, it happens quickly, and sometimes, it happens over time. And the body does take time to adapt, and it takes a long time to unadapt. Listening to your body is the key. There is really no magic solution to this. Mostly it's about how to do this but still keep the sanity and some functionality. It's not as linear as it is often believed and flexibility is the key.

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Much thanks LF, I copy & pasted your post so I can refer back to it.

 

Ability to self soothe. Hm..I probably need to work on that.

 

I did reinstate, until I crossover, get through upcoming travel, stabilize symptoms, get a good therapist to help with coping methods, support etc, & take more time to read up on this topic in general, so I don’t start & stop again. Hopefully have some relaxation techniques & other healthier behaviors worked into day by then. Yep not so fond of .25 cut experience.

 

Your right too we all have such different things going on in our personal lives, our overall health, etc

 

Thanks for the info & your open perspective & explanation.

 

Hope you have a good night xx Scaredie

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So here I am 5 days into cut & hold, feeling poorly, physically & emotionally & it strikes me that I really should have chosen a different username. I’m very overly sensitive right now, but I don’t like feeling like everyone is prejudging me, my intentions, nor my ability to taper. I also don’t like it because it’s not good for me to associate my thoughts with it. Now I’m stuck with this negative connotation username. It’s my own fault, I didn’t put enough thought into making a better suited one for this epic journey ahead.

 

I’m not in a very creative mood, but if I had to do it over again or could change it now, I would use Faith.

Haven't had my daily cry since starting taper & switching generics yet & it’s creeping in fast.

That’s all thanks for listening-be well

 

Don't worry about your username. It might not be the most positive of choices, but it is far, far from the most negative chosen by a member. I would have taken no notice of it at all if you had not raised the subject. And, at the end of day, trying to adopt a positive attitude (as much as you can in the circumstances) is what is important, not your specific username. I promise you, no one is spending any time analysing the name you chose for BB. Try not to dwell upon it - you'll be fine.

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So here I am 5 days into cut & hold, feeling poorly, physically & emotionally & it strikes me that I really should have chosen a different username. I’m very overly sensitive right now, but I don’t like feeling like everyone is prejudging me, my intentions, nor my ability to taper. I also don’t like it because it’s not good for me to associate my thoughts with it. Now I’m stuck with this negative connotation username. It’s my own fault, I didn’t put enough thought into making a better suited one for this epic journey ahead.

 

I’m not in a very creative mood, but if I had to do it over again or could change it now, I would use Faith.

Haven't had my daily cry since starting taper & switching generics yet & it’s creeping in fast.

That’s all thanks for listening-be well

 

Don't worry about your username. It might not be the most positive of choices, but it is far, far from the most negative chosen by a member. I would have taken no notice of it at all if you had not raised the subject. And, at the end of day, trying to adopt a positive attitude (as much as you can in the circumstances) is what is important, not your specific username. I promise you, no one is spending any time analysing the name you chose for BB. Try not to dwell upon it - you'll be fine.

Thank you,  Colin. I much appreciate the reassurance. I hope you are feeling well. Scaredie

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Much thanks LF, I copy & pasted your post so I can refer back to it.

 

I still love your username, it warms my heart .... a real Scottish word. 

 

Fiona  :smitten:

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