Positive Feedback Please - Who felt improvements as they tapered?

I am so happy you are doing better FH!!  💜💜💜

 

Thank you Mary. 

 

I know you are trying to figure how you are going to taper in March.  Was there a particular way that worked before that you can start with one do a hybrid variation?  Like doing a liquid taper as you did before but not every single day?  Just wondering though I know you will really think it though.

"Depression and SI on this drug have been lethal.  An intense, abysmal void consisting only of feelings of pain, despair, deep, crushing grief, heavy soul aching, self-loathing, paranoid, near-psychosis, feeling a sinister presence inside and out, the feeling of being sucked into a black hole in the darkest night of the soul... Words just do not and cannot articulate how profound this has been.  Those who have had this know.  It is not even “depression”.  It is something far beyond.  Very chemical in nature.  It has colored past, present and future with nothing but the most repulsive and dark feelings.  It has turned even good memories to ones of trauma.  It has disconnected me from connection."

 

These could have been my exact words... ^^^^^^

 

I could say so much, and yet, it wouldn't be anything. You are inspiring me. I'm holding on to that I am not alone. I don't have the words to articulate what you just did here... but it is real.

 

Thank you

 

 

Wow..!!

What profound writings from everyone..!! Loads of strength and insight that will equal success and a fulfilled future..!!

Uni, that was pretty close to home..!! -You made my eyes “sweat”, as my kids used to say...

I dont think (my) words can do justice to what I read here, -Hero’s, all of you..!!

 

Im humbled..!!

 

Oo

As someone who is a relatively short-term of benzos at small doses that I am extremely sensitive. For example, when I took more than 0.25mg of clonazepam per day (like .375 to 0.5mg) and even when I crossed over to just 5mg of valium, I would experience suicidal ideation, depression, huge crying fits, and severe amnesia. I've never experienced these thoughts and feelings before and I''m very aware that these feelings are not actually coming from me. The real me loves life, literally never cries, and always has hope. Now, as I wean down off the valium, all these horrible thoughts and crying fits have gone away. My mind is clearer and I have renewed hope for the future to heal and manage my anxiety better so that I never need to go on benzos again.

 

I have invested in a brain entrainment device called NeoRhythm that helps uses PEMF technology to help me meditate and sleep better at night. I'm also using 10mg of THC Indica oil at night and wow it works so well to chill me out and lull me into sleep.

 

DJ,

 

What rate/method are you tapering?

 

Im using a jewellers scale and shaving my pills with a nail file. I've cut 2.2mg in one month from the 5mg of valium I started at. So far so good. Just some messed up sleep issues happening and cold hands and feet so far. I will definitely slow down once I get below 2.5mg to ensure my brain has time to catch up. I've got lots of meditation to do to master my emotions and thoughts before I jump.

 

Looks like were are tapering at the same rate and dose!

As someone who is a relatively short-term of benzos at small doses that I am extremely sensitive. For example, when I took more than 0.25mg of clonazepam per day (like .375 to 0.5mg) and even when I crossed over to just 5mg of valium, I would experience suicidal ideation, depression, huge crying fits, and severe amnesia. I've never experienced these thoughts and feelings before and I''m very aware that these feelings are not actually coming from me. The real me loves life, literally never cries, and always has hope. Now, as I wean down off the valium, all these horrible thoughts and crying fits have gone away. My mind is clearer and I have renewed hope for the future to heal and manage my anxiety better so that I never need to go on benzos again.

 

I have invested in a brain entrainment device called NeoRhythm that helps uses PEMF technology to help me meditate and sleep better at night. I'm also using 10mg of THC Indica oil at night and wow it works so well to chill me out and lull me into sleep.

 

DJ,

 

What rate/method are you tapering?

 

Im using a jewellers scale and shaving my pills with a nail file. I've cut 2.2mg in one month from the 5mg of valium I started at. So far so good. Just some messed up sleep issues happening and cold hands and feet so far. I will definitely slow down once I get below 2.5mg to ensure my brain has time to catch up. I've got lots of meditation to do to master my emotions and thoughts before I jump.

 

Looks like were are tapering at the same rate and dose!

 

yes to the rate/dose. Good idea on the nail fail. I almost forgot that one! Best to you!

Uni, what a thought provoking post, I thought I had a pretty good idea what you were going through. Nope not even close, I am so so sorry you have suffered so much, but what you have been going through during your tapering and now having some better times tells me that your Brain is healing, and we both know that takes time. You will draw and paint again, you will feel the things that you have had to put aside. You will go out and shop, run, whatever you desire, but it may be a while still, but it is coming for you. It was so beautiful what your Husband told you. Uni you are such a special lovely woman and I am so glad to call you My Friend. Stay Strong and know that there are many here that Love you. 💖 Peace and Healing

*Bump*

I can provide an update here to give some hope.

 

I used Valium to do a quick, steady taper from 5mg or 0.5mg, in just a couple months, as shown in my signature. The lower the dose got, the better I felt, even with insomnia creeping back in and having some sleepless nights. At 5mg of valium, I was crying all the time and feeling suicidal. The lower the dose got, the more those feelings subsided. Mirtazapine certainly helped me get through the worst of the insomnia and now I'm tapering off that too. Surprisingly, Mirtazapine seems harder to get off than the benzos in terms of rebound insomnia, but the drug doesn't mess with my mental health like the benzos did.

 

It's only been a couple of months off benzos but I'm back at the gym working out 5 times a week and feeling so much better. I'm coherent and in a much better mental state overall. Ever since that first benzo went in my mouth, it turned me into a complete basket case and altered my personality in severely negative ways.

 

 

Glad this thread got bumped. 

 

I’m tapering clonazepam.  I’ve had rough patches.  But I definitely feel better the lower I go in dose.  The struggles came with larger dose reductions.  Although, to be honest, I had some over 10 % and I was fine and better after.  So, hmm.  Better to be safe than sorry.

 

At this fairly low dose under .055 equivalent to about 1 mg Valium, I feel good.  I’m making not more than 5 % reductions now.  I’m not suffering at all.  I sleep great.  I feel normal.  I don’t think clonazepam is having any anxiety relief effects now, and I only take it to manage potential symptoms. 

 

I haven’t had a panic attack in months.  I haven’t suffered insomnia in months.  I did have 3 nights a month ago where I felt sick and sad, but it lifted fast. 

 

I expect to be off this by August.  I continue to  be positive and reach for that day. 

 

I hope this hasn't been mentioned before because I love positive attitudes and I just found this thread. I read the first 8 pages and jumped to page 19!!!! Anyway , we all know the Ashton manual but there is another manual called the Powers Manual. It is a book on Amazon by a guy named Powers who was on Benzos and who also is almost a phd. psychologist. He has a lot of videos on Youtube as well. Anyway, this book is filled with positive advice about how to psychologically get yourself moving forward mentally in your healing from benzo damage. It is excellent. He talks about some physical problems , too, but mostly mental things to help us plan for when we succeed. No ifs, and or buts. I highly reccomend. Super nice guy. I even emailed him. He lives in Central Florida and does counseling (cheap) $25.00 for 1/2 hour, $50.00 for an hour. He is almost finished with his PhD. dissertation and then he will be licensed as a clinical psychologist.

 

I don't say that I don't get some nausea, super light sleep, palpitations, tremors, etc. sometimes but I expect that and I focus on the fact that they will pass and that I will get well. I have 5 weeks left before the jump from Lorazepam and even though I have a juvenile love/hate relationship with it sometimes, I am so happy that I have ( or will soon have) defeated the beast!!!!  I haven't drank in 30 years so I feel confident.  Love you guys,  Gerry

Super senior,

I'm on my way off of lorazepam, too! Started at 6 mg, now at .75.

 

OP and all:

I'm pretty sure my thinking is much clearer than it has been in ages. (Which is not necessarily a good thing as I can see my situation more clearly....) But it's like coming out from under water. Overall, it's a good thing.

 

 

 

I hope this hasn't been mentioned before because I love positive attitudes and I just found this thread. I read the first 8 pages and jumped to page 19!!!! Anyway , we all know the Ashton manual but there is another manual called the Powers Manual. It is a book on Amazon by a guy named Powers who was on Benzos and who also is almost a phd. psychologist. He has a lot of videos on Youtube as well. Anyway, this book is filled with positive advice about how to psychologically get yourself moving forward mentally in your healing from benzo damage. It is excellent. He talks about some physical problems , too, but mostly mental things to help us plan for when we succeed. No ifs, and or buts. I highly reccomend. Super nice guy. I even emailed him. He lives in Central Florida and does counseling (cheap) $25.00 for 1/2 hour, $50.00 for an hour. He is almost finished with his PhD. dissertation and then he will be licensed as a clinical psychologist.

 

I don't say that I don't get some nausea, super light sleep, palpitations, tremors, etc. sometimes but I expect that and I focus on the fact that they will pass and that I will get well. I have 5 weeks left before the jump from Lorazepam and even though I have a juvenile love/hate relationship with it sometimes, I am so happy that I have ( or will soon have) defeated the beast!!!!  I haven't drank in 30 years so I feel confident.  Love you guys,  Gerry

Wow, twitch, starting at 6 mg. is a whole lot. I only started at 1 mg. but I was absolutely at tolerance. When I took it, it had no effect at all. It had been 4 years. A few days a month I would take a second one earlier in the day and those were sleepy, mellow days so I was at a point where it was either get a larger regular dose or start to wean and get off. Funny how you quit feeling the effect but your body tells you right away as you taper that you are not giving it what it's used to. It crys and throws out withdrawel symptoms right away!!!  I am free, free, free in another 5 weeks.

Wow, twitch, starting at 6 mg. is a whole lot. I only started at 1 mg. but I was absolutely at tolerance. When I took it, it had no effect at all. It had been 4 years. A few days a month I would take a second one earlier in the day and those were sleepy, mellow days so I was at a point where it was either get a larger regular dose or start to wean and get off. Funny how you quit feeling the effect but your body tells you right away as you taper that you are not giving it what it's used to. It crys and throws out withdrawal symptoms right away!!!  I am free, free, free in another 5 weeks.

Too right SS  even ridiculously tiny cuts are hell for me, I'm talking I tried cutting by 0.002 and  was in even worse hell  But on top of that its a very stressful time for me, and I have zero stress tolerance, besides having severe symptoms , I wont list them but its a lot my kid sister is very ill and has been having a lot of test done she's also got a very rare syndrome, and now has to go into hospital for an operation and have biopsies done as she's been ill with something else going on in her body on top for a few months.

 

I am  worried sick as to what they might find so I dropped cutting the 0.002 for now, I can't taper with all this worry going on and am holding my present dose of 12mg for longer than I planned to now. And thanks to everyone that's contributed to this thread so far  we really need to see some positivity regarding healing on the way down when your stuck in the trenches .

 

                                            Nova xxx  :smitten:  

You know, I don't like to whine about the funny and sometimes not so funny withdrawel symptoms we may get......last night I had a ton of cramps in my feet and calves.....withdrawel or just a coincidence??? But lately I have been listening to a lot of you tube videos about the awful things that taking benzos does to your brain and I think I am more afraid of taking them than any WD symptoms. I am a recovering (30 sober years) and we have a saying that AA ruins your drinking. We learn too much to blindly enjoy being drunk again.

 

I think it's the same with Benzos. You learn about what a blithering idiot we become from brain damage and no matter how much comfort the pill may ever have brought us , it's not worth the damage it does to the brain. Very scarey if you listen to the professionals. According to people like Psychiatrist Dr. Breggin , all psychiatric drugs are neurotoxins and cause damage. Geesh. Let's all hurry and run away!!!!! Yes, I continue to feel better in between little wierd symptoms!!

Bump. I only have 27 more days until I am finished with my taper and I jump to seeing Lorazepam in the rear view mirror. I can't believe it's almost over. I know that the symptoms can persist after the jump but I am expecting to feel better each and every day. A girl can hope anyway. I had a day a couple of days ago where the whole world looked so beautiful. I can't put my finger on why. I just felt mellow and things appeared friendly and peaceful, if that makes any sense. So hard to describe. Almost like a chidhood day with no problems and no worries.  I am proud of myself for what I am doing and am very determined to move forward. I have no intention of ever going back to living under a rock again in a Benzo haze.

This is a great thread!

The first part of my reduction was tough but something happened when I got under .75. Symptoms were much less. The lower I go the more clarity I have and feel more like myself.  I have had some new symptoms pop up but nothing that isn't tolerable. The rapid heart rate nausea, shaking, have not appeared in weeks.  I rarely have an anxiety wave and if I do they are mild and don't last more than a few minutes and I just keep doing whatever I am doing. I am enjoying life again and doing the things I love.

 

I believe part is psychological for sure. Not only have I gone down in dose but I am committed every day to be as positive as possible. Accepting my symptoms as my CNS and brain fighting to heal.  Enjoying windows and symptom free days and not fearing the next wave.

 

Thanks for this thread.

*BUMP*

 

Massive gratitude to all of you who have posted Positive feedback so far, this thread is desperately needed to keep hope alive as so many of us feel hopeless, and worn out with trying to survive please keep contributing people, you really don't know how much good so few of you are  doing for so many.

 

This thread is just as important as success stories as your posts tell of success too as you get lower down in dose and that's huge don't under estimate how much good you do even if its just one or two lines your giving hope, life  and fight back to unlimited people 

 

                                    Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

nova, you are 1 legend.

 

I became really unwell at 3mg but I kept holding and when I stabilised, I found that I was mentally sharper than I had been in years. I've been a lot more in control of my emotions since I got to the low doses and I have the distinct feeling of my true self emerging. I felt like it was more up and down before but in the lower doses, it seems that symptoms improve more permanently.

I posted before but I continue to feel better as I go lower.

I am below 0.25mgs now and my mental state is so improved. 

I'm sleeping better and depression is no longer with me.

 

I do have days where my cuts hit but even those days have become shorter in how long the symptoms last.

 

So I'm happy to report that going lower has caused me to feel better. 

That reminds me... depression lifting as my taper went on has been a theme for me. When I was in tolerance, I had quite lengthy bouts of severe depression that were incredibly difficult to snap out of. Depressive episodes got shorter, less severe and easier to get out of. Happily, I haven't been experiencing depression since I jumped although I should say I used cannabis sometimes.

My personality is coming back the lower I get. I’m laughing again and making jokes. Depression and anxiety basically gone, do get a little of the blues that I’m still not myself sometimes, and sometimes a little anxiety in the early hours, but I can swat it away now. Thinking about the future.... having hope... The headaches have gone, heart palpitations are mild now before they were so hard I thought My heart would come thru my chest. Tremor is basically gone, felt small vibration last night as I went to sleep. My sleep is still terrible, but I know it will be better eventually. And even if it’s not once I’m off, it’s mine. It’s not because of what I’m taking. So good to read ur stories x

Following

What you said resonated with me D-Bam: I kept holding and stabilized. That has been the key to my taper, to hold until stable, especially at lower doses. After my 2 year hold, I am now symptom free and ready to tackle my last 1 mg. I really didn't need to hold for 2 years. Most of my sxs went away after a year but I continued to hold while I addressed health issues.

This is a great thread and encouraging to me, too. I am just starting week 2 of a crossover from 30 mg of temazepam to Valium. Last week I transitioned half of the temaz to the V. The first 9 days were really awful, but these last two days I have felt much better. Now I am nervous going into the next stage (7.5 mg of temaz + 12 mg V). But it helps knowing that others have gone through the rough times and have also seen the windows of improvement as well.

I've been tapering off temazepam for 4 years now, getting close to done. The withdrawal was so much worse at the beginning for me and has gotten easier as I listened to my body, spirit and mind and adjusted my dose accordingly, holding when I needed to. I don't have as much withdrawal issues now and feel like I finally found my stride in the last year. I make such small cuts that I think it won't be a big deal when I am actually done, at least that's my goal. I know it isn't this way for everyone when they get near the end so I feel very grateful. It's hard to be patient but going turtle turtle slow has been the way I have been able to have a life with minimal disruption. I am feeling successful (if impatient to be done...lol!)