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Please: Anyone here had to move house during acute?


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Hello buddies,

 

I'm going to keep this short, as I'm struggling to type. I stepped off my final dose of Ativan (basically just fumes) 5 days ago. My symptoms have been acute - severe ongoing phobias, anxiety, intrusive thoughts, OCD, DR/DP, and panic attacks being the worst. Physically, constant tingling up the spine, akathisia, weakness, internal trembling.

 

Today, my husband and I received the unexpected news that we have to move house in 2 or 3 months' time. We've not yet found a suitable place - everything in our limited price range looks utterly 'terrifying', 'wrong', unsafe to me.

 

I'm pretty much non-functioning at this stage. I am beyond fearful of having to pack and move, especially since my agoraphobia is so bad, and we have zero support from family. The panic attacks are 24/7. EVERYTHING is beyond terrifying, and I cannot see my way through this. I cannot imagine surviving a move while possibly still being in acute...

 

I would be deeply appreciative to hear from anyone who had to navigate moving house during this ordeal. I'm finding it impossible to calm down - feel like I'm going absolutely crazy...

 

Thank you so much in advance.

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I am getting ready to move, also in the next 2-3 months.  I am currently holding with my taper, which is like almost over.  It's very stressful.  I've got a ton of boxes that I plan to pack into slowly, as I have energy to pack.
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Can your husband handle the brunt of it? Maybe delegate and you can stay home and take care of the packing aspect.
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Hi there,

I did. I had to pack, drive the truck and unpack by myself. I thought there was no waaaay I could do it. I’m not even sure how I did. I cried a lot. I freaked out even more. Stay in the moment and watch your breathing. Best.

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Praying for strength for you. I have been repeating this lately:

You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only option.

 

What I want to remind you is that you WILL do it. You WILL succeed and everything is going to work out fine.

The most important thing for you to do is to realize how much you accomplish and use it to feel stronger and more empowered.  You have survived EVERY DAY since the start of this and you will survive through the move! Then you will realize how strong you are.

Hugs!

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GreenCup: It really helps to know I'm not alone in this, so thank you! I, too, will try to take 2 months just to pack, small 2-hour 'blocks' of packing every day... I'll hold you in my thoughts. I hope it goes well for you.

 

BenzoBeFree: We'll definitely be doing it that way. I mentioned your suggestion to him, and he's agreed it's a good idea.

 

claysummer: Well, I've got the crying and freaking out down already!  ;)So happy just to know someone else did it and managed. Thank you for letting me know! It helps.

 

FakeItTilYouMakeIt: Your words have helped me more than I can say...especially the strength part. Just reading what you wrote has calmed me this morning. I'll hold on to your post. Hugs to you, friend!

 

Thanks again, all. It helps so much to have understanding here. Sending love and and healing wishes to everyone.

 

 

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Ruby, my dear friend! I think a lot about you, you're having a hard time. I have also moved, but I didn´t know, I suffered from tolerance and withdrawal. I lay most on the bed, and my ex. did everything. Also, used to rest on the cartons and the black bags. Somehow, it worked, but I don´t know how.

You seem to have a great husband, who understands how you have it. And it's really important, without understanding everything gets so much harder. Can you get help from others?  LOTS OF LOVE AND STRENGHTS! :)

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Anna, thank you!  :smitten: I also had to move in tolerance, and still don't know how I managed. It was a nightmare, but it worked out in the end, so I'm hanging on to that. Just trying to trust.

 

We have one good friend nearby - she'll probably be able to help, especially with our pets. Family has given up on us - but that's OK. It's showing us our strength...

 

I hope you're doing as well as can be, Anna. Keeping you in my heart. Much love to you!

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i too had to pack up and move while in acute.  once i realized what was happening and saw the average time frame for recovery was 6 months at best - but average 12-24 months - i realized i could not afford to keep my house with zero income as i was far too ill to work.  i had been in my beautiful home for 13 years - it was so difficult emotionally to accept at 42 i had gotten myself into a situation like this after working so hard my whole life.  i never imagined taking a medication as prescribed could cause such traumatic loss of so many things - but i lived alone and had no choice but to get through it on my own.  i had to spend 2 weeks cleaning out as much as i could - which was physically demanding.  i was getting zero sleep anyway - so - every few hours i tackled a drawer or closet.  then my house went on the market and sold within 48 hours and 5 weeks later i moved out.  i packed most of my remaining possessions and the movers handled the actual moving of the boxes and furniture to storage. 

 

it was truly difficult and honestly with the daze i was in from the DP/DR and everything else - it's actually a blur - at the time i was in an emotionally numb state so couldnt even cry to mourn the loss of things.  but that was a blessing in some ways . 

 

you will get through it simply because you have to.  hopefully your husband can carry a lot of what needs to be done.  not sure - since you just finished your taper - if you could consider remaining on some very low dose to help you function till you get through it and then stop after you've gotten to the new place?

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SSR...wow, I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. And really, you handled it heroically... Thank you for sharing your story. I appreciate it so much - I'll be carrying your words with me. I wish for you much peace and beauty in your future. You certainly deserve it!

 

I've thought about remaining on a low dose, but I'm seeing so many little improvements since stepping off, despite the remaining severe symptoms. I can only assume that Ativan was extremely toxic to me - even the tiniest crumbs. I've always reacted violently to psych drugs, but I never made the connection - I thought it was my 'mental illness'. So I'm going to bite the bullet and just push through, also considering that I was in tolerance for so long. (I could never really stabilise during my taper.)

 

Thanks again for sharing your story. It really has helped me a great deal.

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Yes Rubylove-  we can be packing buddies together.  I actually ordered a whole bunch of boxes off the internet from a U-Haul store, just so I can have them ready.  I've packed up two boxes of kitchen stuff I don't use very much so far.  I plan to do books and games and that sort of thing next. 
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Rubylove, I dont envy you. Moving streses me out to the max under normal circumstances. But you can get through this, Ive heard of people having to do things like this in withdrawal, its not easy but its do-able. Does your husband understand what you are going through? Maybe show him some literature so he will appreciate that you are sick and have limitations during this time. Maybe you could look online for a new place and only go there for a visual inspection if it looks pretty good so you arent traveling around to much. If you find a place, start packing early, and just do a bit each day, make sure you dont over stress yourself. Try not to think of all the things you got to do, it will seem overwhelming, make out a plan, like monday i'll spend 30 minutes looking online for a place, and thats it. Then when its time to pack, plan it so eg. Monday Ill pack the books, thats it. Do it bit by bit, and take one day at a time. You can do this  :thumbsup:
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...we can be packing buddies together.

 

I'd like that, GreenCup. We haven't got an exact date (or new rental) yet, but we'll keep checking in. We'll keep each other going, when necessary!

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Sunshine: Thankfully my husband has been my rock throughout this whole withdrawal. We're going to try to pick a place online together, and then he'll go check it out in person (and take a few photos). We plan to start packing at least 2 months ahead. He has to keep his business going, so we'll just do an hour here and there, as we can.

 

I really like your suggestion of planning things in little 'blocks' - the only way I can see through this is baby steps, so it's reassuring to read how you would schedule things bit by bit. Thank you so much for your kind support!  :smitten:

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Ruby: you're so strong, amazing! Just as you write, one step at a time. When I moved, I found The Great Love: black plastic bags, that I could rest on - everywhere. They became my rescue. Hope you are doing well, we are many who have you in our minds! :)
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Anna, you've just made my morning, thank you! The Great Love...  :laugh: Mine, during our previous move, was champagne - as needed, which meant: to excess...  :D That's not gonna happen this time.  ::)

 

How are you doing, Anna? You're like a ray of sunshine on here!

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Thank you Ruby! But I had to be careful, so the bag didn´t contain 500 forks. I have to complain, I'm left in hell! My ex. comes in a little while. My hair is a single big hair ball, and I wear a blanket (in the heat!) But I'm freezing! Now he understands, why we separated! But he is so kind, and doesn´t say anything.

As I've written so many times, you're so strong, absolutely amazing! :)

 

 

 

 

 

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Oh, Anna. I type here mostly just in my 'stronger' moments. The rest...I hide out in bed in sheer terror, hanging on by a very thin thread, my friend. But thank you for saying so. You inspire me whenever I read your posts.  :smitten:
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Hello Rubylove, my fellow South African. I'm currently in acute and house-hunting, we also have to move. We've looked at 8 houses already and nothing suits me because I actually don't want to do this this move, I'm just suffering too much. Just the thought of packing up terrifies me and I know I can't do it, just can't! I feel for you.
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Danni, I'm so sorry to hear that. I know how hard it is. We have 7 houses on a shortlist, but it's uncertain whether any of them is realistic, considering our budget and other constraints. And we have limited time before we have to vacate our current home.

 

We'll get through it, Danni. I've had to move twice during my years in tolerance and I was beyond terrified each time...somehow, it all worked out for the best. I'm trying to trust with my whole heart that the right thing will happen once again. Grace has carried me, as it will you... You are not alone.

 

Sending warmth and a hug.

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Ruby: I understand, you also have very bad moments. It can be difficult, just standing upright, talking and breathing. You can also be very tired of writing an answer, completely exhausted! But it's nice to be in touch with others, it helps! :)
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