Please help

The agoraphobia, dizziness, terror, depression and depersonalization are so bad I feel like I can't do this anymore. The DP/DR especially gets worse everyday. My comfort zone has shrunk so far that I don't even feel comfortable anywhere anymore, not outside my house, not inside my house, not even in my own mind and body. I wake up and my room feels like a strange foreign land. I look in the mirror and I don't feel connected to the reflection that I see. I'm constantly just breaking down in tears because I still have so far to go on my taper and I feel like I can't do it anymore but there's nowhere else to go. I want to escape my mind and body but obviously I can't. I keep reassuring myself that this is temporary and I'm safe and many before me have done this but I'm just so scared. I'm trying to distract but I'm just so overwhelmed. I just want my life back I have been housebound for over a year at this point and I feel like a different person.

Hey Fuzzy,

I can only say I relate. I’m here. I don’t know the person in the mirror. I can only hope we have better futures waiting. Hugs

Thank you for responding. I'm sorry you're suffering too.

Thank you for your continued honesty. It makes me feel a little sane.

Eye on the prize, Fuzzy...here’s a post I wrote earlier tonight...hope it’s of some comfort to you.

 

If you read my signature, I was on and off benzodiazepines for 30+ years. Today, at 67 years old, my life is normal and good again. For a long time I could barely force myself to get off the couch, go out of the house, drive a car or, God forbid, socialize.  These things returned bit by bit and got easier and easier as time went by.

 

It will happen for you this way, too.  I know it’s scary right now, I was also scared...first scared for my body, then scared for my mind.  But our bodies and minds know how to heal, we just have to give them time.

 

Acceptance was key for me. 

That’s my best advice to you.

 

That's a very thoughtful post, thank you! Acceptance and normalizing are two things I really struggle with no matter how hard I try.

You’re welcome. I know it only helps for a little while, but that’s how we get through this ...minute, hour, day, week at a time... no other choice.  But it’s worth it.

I can relate too Fuzzy and agree with claysummer that your honesty really helps in not having me feel so alone.  You are not alone Fuzzy.  We WILL get there. 

 

Dee

 

 

Thanks everyone. Hope we all start to see improvements soon.

Fuzzy,

 

Sorry you are suffering so badly. I know Klonopin is a real bitch. I'm fighting my own battle getting off Xanax. Its been 2.5 years and after having my life back for about a year of it, I'm back housebound . I know a lot of people are suffering. Its terrifying. I am scared all the time.

 

 

I'm so sorry to hear that. I really hope things turn around for you soon as well.

My Best Wishes Fuzzy...

 

Its very hard when it seems our situation is so different from others, and all the uncertainties get overwhelming... But hold on, -Better days will come...!!

 

Fight on..!!