Losing my shit. Please help

Hi there, currently@ 2.4979 mg valium or thereabouts..thinking my scale may be dicky. Since beginning daily dry microcut of 5% per 2 weeks using Jim Hawk's program, I have had some really good days but the bad days are getting worse. I have never done acid but I have been having moments of unpleasant and surreal thoughts and panic attacks, which I cannot stop using breathing, distraction etc. Is it just par for the course or could it be unreliable scales? I have tried liquid taper, home made and pharmacy but they gave me nightmares :'(

Hi in my opinion when you get to under 3mgs cuts need to be smaller and holds longer.l would hold for at least 3 or 4 weeks and reduce your cut if you need to.

Hi in my opinion when you get to under 3mgs cuts need to be smaller and holds longer.l would hold for at least 3 or 4 weeks and reduce your cut if you need to.

probably this... -a good place to start anyway...

Sage advice from above... I've cut for 7 days and holding, sxs coming on. 

As I am doing daily microcuts, I thought that would bypass all the previous crap from cut and hold?..no idea how and when to hold a daily amount 

Hi chenka44

 

no idea how and when to hold a daily amount

Instead of passing to a lower dose as planned, you just take the <b>same</b> dose again and... again if needed until you feel comfortable. Little matters the number of days on the same dose. When you feel ready to continue the taper you resume from the dose that is immediately lower. This is the so called "Hold"

 

This usually happens when your reduction pace is fast. It could be a signal for you to taper slower.

 

God, please don't tell me 5% per 2 weeks is too fast..I was hoping the daily microcut would have avoided the sx but it seems not. A local compounding chemist I approached is doing some research(?) into how he can do the doses for me but apparently it is illegal for him to use the same method I am unless he uses pure valium powder..wtf? .So everyone suggests, in essence I do cut and hold, but in a way more time consuming fashion because of grinding ,weighing etc? Seems pintless to me. I will try and find a way to use one 2 mg pill then best guesstimate the cuts needed from quarter of another 2 mg pill. Currently holding at 2.5 using just pills

I purchased a gemini pro scale and started weighing, cutting .001 daily and found out that is to much, so I'm going to c/c/c/h and maybe some extra holds in there.

And if you feel unsafe Chenka is there anywhere you can go to find safety?  Safety first. 

 

I recently dropped to 1mg and am feeling it today.  I'm going to remain on the 1mg for however long it takes before beginning liquid titration. 

 

It's bloody awful, I know.  Heaven help us. 

 

Dee 

I hate to inflict myself on my loved ones, so I usually hide in my room. Yesterday I stayed out on the lounge all day watching tv with them, in between naps, and felt better. Wish I could exercise to boost endorphins but that wastes me atm

I had trouble cutting pills equal. Then i bought the equadose pill splitter from amazon. Its,metal. A little time consuming to line the pill up. I use a magnifying glass. But once lined up you can get good solid no crumbling equal cuts.

I even tried a 1/8 cut and it worked..

You can watch a video on you tube  to see a demonstration. 

Since getting this i have  not ruined one pill either.

Which more than pays for the splitter. As its a little pricy.

But worth it.

Following

So can anyone tell me if there actually an advantage to daily cuts, as opposed to 2 week cut and hold? I seem to be having trouble either way I go. Was just looking at the "long hold" group, which scared the shit out of me. I get the feeling valium is going to be as hard to get as codeine. so that would not be even feasible

So can anyone tell me if there actually an advantage to daily cuts, as opposed to 2 week cut and hold? I seem to be having trouble either way I go. Was just looking at the "long hold" group, which scared the shit out of me. I get the feeling valium is going to be as hard to get as codeine. so that would not be even feasible

Hi,

Yes, I think the stability from the small regular cuts provide a better healing environment than chunkier cut n holds... and easier to adjust on the fly as things change or SX increase...

BUT, one still has to find the speed that suits their bodys ability to heal, or things will catch up no matter what style of taper...

 

Not sure why the LHSG scares you, for me it is a place of hope..! So many people have come there when all seems lost, and found not only relief from holding, but a whole new understanding of their taper, and a way forwards with a reasonable level of functionability...

 

I guess its scary as people are finding their way through the process, uncertainty that it will work, windows and waves, and acceptance of the time needed, not only for a Propper hold, but ofthen this is where we find out the more realistic time frames of a successful taper...

-Yeah, I know.. -its the Time Frame bit... (and sadly some dont have the option of their own time)

I thought I would be done in 4 mths...!! But one can either heal bit by bit on the way down, or all at once with no medication post rapid taper or CT... I know which I prefer..!!

Anyways, The LHSG, is a friendly "family of turtles" happy to answer any questions, any time...

 

 

 

Hi chenka44 

 

I feel sorry to see you in bad wave.

 

The general recommendations from this BB to reduce 5-10% every 10-14 days can be successfully applied for a majority of people. There are however buddies who tapered much faster and are healed. Others continue to struggle even with 1-2% cut every month. There are other benzo support sites that recommend a much slower pace of 5%/4 weeks https://withdrawal.theinnercompass.org/learn/psychiatric-drug-taper-rates-review-and-discussion.

 

There is actually no relation between daily micro taper and the cut quantity you decided.  You can in fact use micro taper to reduce an amount of drug your body can't cope with. Micro taper helps in gradually adapt your body to the reduction day after day. It does not help if the daily cut is more than what your organism can bear.

 

Slow down by holding. Then resume with a smaller daily cut.

 

Hang in chenka44. You will heal!

 

The plan is atm to hold on 2.5 until I figure out how to proceed.. I have two main obstacles..the fear that the doctor will not prescribe for me until I finish, plus my inaccuarate scales( I think). Rang one pharmacist yesterday to get a quote on preparing my 5% per two week dose as a daily microcut..$1,000. No chance I can afford that. The other thing that worries me about long holds is withdrawal tolerance. So much conflicting ideas out there

Your scales may not be accurate so just use a different taper like c/h/c/h or hold for a week or two, try different things cause what works for one may not work for you.

 

I held 6 weeks going from dosing 2x a day to 1x a day and my craving for the noon dose went away.

I didn't feel wonderful and still had sxs after 6 weeks so I started back tapering.

 

As someone else stated, you're not going to be sxs free on your taper, so that is what stuck in my head.

 

I can tell when I taper to fast so I hold for a few days then continue one.

 

My biggest problem is feeling off balance, confusion, and malaise.

 

Starting to get muscle cramping in my calves also.

 

One thing for sure the sxs hit me at the same time every day, and taper off a few hours before bed time.

 

Some days are worse , some days are great.

 

We can do this, WE HAVE NO CHOICE!

 

 

The subject of tolerance when holding pops up from time to time...

But it doesnt seem to work like that..

I guess one would have to hold a fair while beyond stability (the point where healing has caught up with the current dose, to the best of its ability.. Not perfect, but hopefully functional..)

Withdrawl and tolerance dont seem to be the same thing, when tolerant, things often slowly improve with a sensible taper...  So I dont like the term Tolerance "withdrawal", as it is conflicting by definition... 

The main thing with tapering (I think) is to find your own reduction speed that suits your body and situation.. The more functional one is during a taper, the less time matters... It may involve finding a compliant Dr though...

The Progress log of Lynn33, might be of interest...

The race isnt to jump, -a CT will do that... The finish line is being healed...

-This doesnt have to be brutal...!!

 

Best wishes everyone...

 

 

 

The subject of tolerance when holding pops up from time to time...

But it doesnt seem to work like that..

I guess one would have to hold a fair while beyond stability (the point where healing has caught up with the current dose, to the best of its ability.. Not perfect, but hopefully functional..)

Withdrawl and tolerance dont seem to be the same thing, when tolerant, things often slowly improve with a sensible taper...  So I dont like the term Tolerance "withdrawal", as it is conflicting by definition... 

The main thing with tapering (I think) is to find your own reduction speed that suits your body and situation.. The more functional one is during a taper, the less time matters... It may involve finding a compliant Dr though...

The Progress log of Lynn33, might be of interest...

The race isnt to jump, -a CT will do that... The finish line is being healed...

-This doesnt have to be brutal...!!

 

Best wishes everyone...

 

I like your wording, it puts things into perspective ....although we all want to hurry or sprint to the finish line.

Hi Marie808

 

Then i bought the equadose pill splitter from amazon

 

Is this device you are talking about?

 

 

I wonder how did you do to position and cut to 1/8?. Before tapering, I used to cut my 2 mg tablet to 1/4 with a tablet splitter bought on Ebay for a few dollars. Well, my 4 parts were never the same when they did not crumble

 

Thanks.

 

So am currently holding at 2.5 mg, using pills..not powder. At least I know the dose is constant. A local compounding chemist I approached is looking for something to dissolve valium in using no alcohol. I had a bad reaction to the one I tried.  My next decision is either continue with daily taper or go back to cut and hold. I used to have a clear cut idea of when my sx would strike but that was months ago. All I want is to be reasonably functional. At this rate I am likely prediabetic and already hypertensive so would like to avoid dropping dead of heart disease before I finish. It's all so confusing

I just want to chime in here and say that getting off Benzos should not be a race. The healing time required for your Gaba to regenerate can take quite some time. There are plenty of people who tapered 6 months and are still healing a year later. Best to go slow. If you are having symptoms, it means your brain is healing. The side effects are what healing feels like.  Once you stabilize resume your taper. Otherwise you can get a snowball effect.

I did holds sometimes that lasted months . Once I stabilized , I was able to cut faster without symptoms. This is just my 2 cents. I know we want off, but really what's the hurry. Healing is happening while we taper.

I just want to chime in here and say that getting off Benzos should not be a race. The healing time required for your Gaba to regenerate can take quite some time. There are plenty of people who tapered 6 months and are still healing a year later. Best to go slow. If you are having symptoms, it means your brain is healing. The side effects are what healing feels like.  Once you stabilize resume your taper. Otherwise you can get a snowball effect.

I did holds sometimes that lasted months . Once I stabilized , I was able to cut faster without symptoms. This is just my 2 cents. I know we want off, but really what's the hurry. Healing is happening while we taper.

 

Thanks for your advice, yes we all want off but like you said "what's the hurry" we are healing while we are tapering and a long hold is sometimes needed.

I hope i am replying about the equadose pill splitter. Clicked on reply in my list of posts.

Yes that is the pill splitter.. it takes a little effort. But worth it. No crumbling or unequal pieces.

Try practicing on a scored vitamin etc. It will help you judge how to line the pill up.

Its worth the price and effort. To not ruin pills. And you get much more equal pieces.