Akathisia, Agitated Depression and exercise intolerence

Gonna give myself a break from this for a while as I know I'm posting so much but I feel so helpless and I'm struggling to find even find stories about similar symptoms on long term acute pages.

 

Basically I'm suffering from severe agitated depression and akathisia right now. I wake up and I feel immediately uncomfortable in my body, nothing makes me happy whatsoever, the issues I have with breathing and perception make it impossible to distract. I have complete exercise intolerance which pretty much goes as far as a light walk. It obviously has nothing to do with my heart/aerobic ability as I had a test 3 months ago which said I was in good shape.

 

So yesterday I got fed up and tried to do 1 minute on an exercise bike. Very low pace etc. I got off and my legs couldn't support me and the dizziness was so severe I collapsed. I have such unrest constantly yet my body doesn't seem to be able to process exercise. As I mentioned before my depression keeps getting more severe and I try my best to help it but nothing is stopping it.

 

2 months ago I had shocking fatigue but at least lying in bed all day allowed me to be in a minimal amount of comfort, I can't listen to podcasts anymore as my mind doesn't seem to be able to process the information. Something has to give. Would doing weights help at all. Maybe its the movement issues that makes the small amount of exercise impossible. I don't know I need to change something.

Something clicked just over a month ago and everything fell apart. Before that I was uncomfortable but had moments of relaxation plus I could fully control my arms. It wasn't even a deterioration, one day I was exercising same as usual then I couldn't catch my breathe, collapsed and from then on my symptoms have skyrocketed.

Nate,

 

I'm just so sorry you are suffering so much. It's just ridiculous that benzo use can cause so many terrible symptoms. I know the exercise issues are really bothering you right now. I haven't been able to much of anything since I was forced into a cold-turkey withdrawal from clonazepam. I have had so many problems with movement. Feeling so dizzy and disoriented and like I was going to face plant from just minor movement ... like walking a very short distance. I've had trouble describing how I feel. It's like everything around me is moving. Like being in a Fun House from hell where the walls and floor are all moving. Causes so much anxiety. These feelings have kept me grounded. I'm at 17.5 months now and I have progressively become weaker and weaker. Starting to wonder if I have any muscles left!

 

Around 15 months out I started dealing with horrible akathesia. I had been dealing with a lot of restlessness and jerking at night mostly. But then it was all the time. I would twitch, tremble and jerk and then also make random noises. It got so bad I ended up at the ER. The doc wanted to put me on an antipsychotic. And just the thought of it made me feel psychotic! Haha! In the end my PCP put me on anti-siezure medicine. I don't have siezures, but I guess this tic or motion disorder is related. I've been taking Zeppra most of May. I'm pretty opposed to drugs and pissed off at all the doctors who prescribed benzos for so many years. I was a hard sell. But I've got to say I'm happy to be on medicine that is calming down the motiin disorder. I was just constantly having spasms and it was exhausting. And more than a little bit scary. I'm waiting to get in to see a neurologist who specializes in movement disorders. But it's 2018 and insurance is crap!

Do any of my experiences sound familiar? Id love to talk with you about all this. My best to you.