I can't do it anymore.

HI there

      I can't do it anymore. I'very burning entire my body every day. Depression and anxiety all the time. Life can't go like this...so tired. Nobody can't understand.

Siwat

Do you have a plan for yourself Siwat? 

 

Dee

Do you have a plan for yourself Siwat? 

 

Dee

Deep

        I have bad thought all the time.

 

Many people here get those "bad thoughts" Siwat it is part of withdrawal.  I've had them too.  It's ok, they won't hurt you even if they are scary.  You are a good man. 

 

I agree with you and think doctor tapered you too fast.  I think stay where you are and wait for others here to help you further. 

 

I'm pretty new here and inexperienced, but wanted you to know you are not alone and you will get better. 

 

Dee

I’m sorry you are feeling so low. I understand the dark thoughts.  I understand the just not wanting to do this anymore. I am currently feeling like 💩 from a recent cut. However, I also understand that with this withdrawal, It unfortunately is normal to feel depressed and horrible at times.  Look at all of us here. It is no mistake that we all share so many of the same symptoms and problems trying to get off of this poison.  I am a big fan of going slow, and even holding if you need to. Slow and steady is the Best way to beat this thing. I have also had a time where I went too fast and had to go back up a bit. There is no shame in adjusting your plan.  Just know you are so not alone. Your mind is just freaking out right now, but it will not be forever. People heal. We will heal. You know what they say... if you are going through hell, keep going.  I can do this, and you can too. When I get sad I try to channel it into purpose, and a little anger. Eff you Ativan! I have a life to live. I have friends and family that love me. We CAN do this.  Hang in there.

How are you Siwat?

 

Dee

It will get better. I promise, just keep going

Following

Are you OK Siwat? 

 

Dee

Today is bad day again lost the battle now.I think I can't go on anymore sorry BB.

What's happening Siwat?

 

Are you tapering? 

 

Dee

HI Dee

I'm tappering about 8 mg V now.Never stabilize so sick now painful all of my body gi pain bladder ache body gell and weak anxiety and depression top of the chart.I want to end these tonight. Sorry  :'(

I am so sorry you are feeling this way! Please know you are not alone. But more than that know that you are strong!  You are stronger than you realize and you can get through this.  Sit down and make a list of everything you are grateful for. A warm bed? A soft pillow? A friend? The sunrise?  Just make a list. Make a list of things you want to do when you get through this. Put it on your wall. Read it every morning.

I am sending you virtual hugs and prayers and hope to see you post that you are okay.

Yes, Siwat what you are feeling is 'normal' in withdrawal.  I've felt like that too, but it gets better.  I have trouble stabilising too, and then I stop tapering and wait/hold. 

 

Maybe best to hold on the 8mgs Valium until you feel a bit better? 

 

Are you still seeing your doctor? 

 

You can do this Siwat.  It will get better. 

 

We are here for you. 

 

Dee

Today is bad day again lost the battle now.I think I can't go on anymore sorry BB.

 

What's going on?

Yes Siwat, come back and tell us.

 

Dee

It is showing he is online so hopefully he is okay!

HI FakeitTilYouMakeit

    Thanks you for kindness for checking my situation but til now I have something in my arm all the time and pace around didn't have any sleep.Hopeless...

My heart is with you on this day. It sounds like you are having a really bad time. It will lift. You went from up to down. So we know it works. It just needs to go back up. Everything good, and bad is hindsight. The only thing that really matters is - What are you going to do now. You could read some of the stories on here of people who have been healed. It sure helps me to think about it. I want to be one of them. And I think you want to be one of them too. Someone made it through this sick demented addiction. And I insist on being one of them. Please find the courage to opt back into moving forward. All you have to do is say ' Yes ' c'mon lets do it !

HI FakeitTilYouMakeit

    Thanks you for kindness for checking my situation but til now I have something in my arm all the time and pace around didn't have any sleep.Hopeless...

 

You are welcome! Please, dig deep and find that light that is burning inside you.  Someone told me today that while our brains are healing, they are building new connections and therefore it's like an opportunity to build a new attitude and life.  You need to try as hard as you can to say "there IS hope!".  Because there is! And then your brain will rewire with that positive affirmation. It's like putting drops in a bucket but eventually that bucket DOES fill up and you want it full of positive happy drops!

You can do this.  I know you can!  I have been through some hopeless hopeless days in the past couple weeks. Of all days, Mother's day morning I lied on my couch trembling with fear and intrusive thoughts. It was beyond terrifying. But you have to remember it's the benzo talking, not you! You must answer with a firm "NO! I LOVE MY LIFE" and then think of happy things and then find someone to talk with.

 

Hello everyone,

 

I've sent Siwat a pm urging him to get local, in person help.  If you are in contact with him, please urge him to do the same.  Also, please note, from our gold pages:

 

At BenzoBuddies we deeply empathize with those feeling ideation towards suicide & self-harm, or feelings of wanting to harm others. We do appreciate this can be a common side-effect of Benzodiazepene use/withdrawal and while we understand that you may be prone to these feelings & thoughts, the staff & members are not qualified health professionals and are ill-equipped to offer you direct support through the Forum.

 

If you are experiencing such feelings or thoughts we can only, in good conscience, forward you to specialist helplines / online resources and we strongly recommend that you contact one of those or your local Emergency Services and/or see a medical professional as soon as possible for the proper care and support that you will need.

 

Our primary focus is to help those who wish to cease using benzodiazepenes; our responsibility is to the majority of the members, some of whom are highly sensitive to reading such commentary from others. As such, we cannot allow the discussion of suicidal ideation, self-harm, threats of such action or threats of harming others at the BenzoBuddies forum or over the Personal Messaging (PM) system with other members.

 

Thanks Megan.  Our posts crossed.

 

Dee

HI everyone

      I'm sorry about my post.Thank you for every encouragements.Please forgive me.

            Thanks you

            Siwat

Hi Siwat

No apologies needed

We all truly care for you and only wish you feel better

Please keep in touch with us so we know how you are doing

Know you are not alone and things will get better in time

 

 

Thanks

 

Hi Siwat

No apologies needed

We all truly care for you and only wish you feel better

Please keep in touch with us so we know how you are doing

Know you are not alone and things will get better in time

 

 

Thanks

positivethought

          Thanks you