Benzo Free Today

As of today, my taper is done and I am finally benzo free.

 

I know there is still likely much more to this road I'm on, but this feels like a big step toward healing. Whew.

 

Now on to the next phase. Working toward full recovery.

 

Good luck brother...

Congratulations for being benzo free! That is a big accomplishment and you should be proud of yourself for this accomplishment!

Sending you my love, hugs and heartfelt prayers for a smooth and speedy recovery!

 

Blessings!

Pi

Wow congrats to you! Hope your post-jump recovery is kind and gentle...

Wishing you a very smooth post-taper recovery! Congratulations!! 

Congratulations  . Hoping for a smoooooth landing.....

Congratulations! 

 

Gwinna

Congratulations to you! Hoping and praying for it to all go well for you. I'm jumping tomorrow as well.

Congratulations on being benzo FREE!!  You’ve got this! 

Congratulations! A huge step, and the best decision of your life!

Awesome!  Speedy recovery from this point forward....

One Week Update:

 

I was starting to think that the little crumbs I was taking at the end of my taper weren't doing anything... but once again, I stand corrected. Or at least I think so.

 

I was about the same as I have been for the first half of this week in terms of symptoms, but have developed a 'bobble-head' sensation which is pretty irritating. Once in a while it feels like my head is floating a bit. My tinnitus has also been up more than usual.

 

Sleep is, as it has been, throughout my entire taper (difficult), however I had one night this week out of the blue where I slept from midnight until 6am in a deep unconscious sleep. The most I've had in months. I haven't been able to repeat that yet, but I'm trying.

 

Note: I have cut back on my nicotine intake (vape) this week. I do wonder if that may have something to do with my new 'symptoms' and increase of tinnitus.

 

Otherwise, continuing the mission. Life has to go on, benzo withdrawals or not.

 

 

 

congratulations on this huge step. Never look back. The road ahead has every possibility waiting for you. Life has begun again!

Day 17 Update:

 

It has been 17 days since I jumped.

 

This last week, my tinnitus and floaty feelings in my head have been less than the first week post jump. I had one day this week with bad tinnitus, but since then every day has been milder. My sleep continues to be as it has been, although I do think I am getting 2-3hrs at times even if I dont really feel like it at the time. I get up every morning and try to remember what happened in the night and its not always so clear. Some days it's just broken all night, others I have longer stretches where I cannot recall.

 

I think the biggest improvement is that I have not been as depressed or anxious. I've been pretty good in those areas as of late.

 

I've been getting outside a lot more - I took my bike for a nice ride through a few miles of the local apple orchards in the sunshine yesterday with some nice music on. It was like medicine to my soul.

 

To quote one of my favorite rock bands... "rejoice... rejoice... we have no choice... but to carry on..."

 

This is wonderful news!!  Congratulations and thank you for keeping us updated!  I’m so happy for you, you’re getting outside and enjoying again.  How wonderful those feelings of depression and anxiety are lifting!  All good signs, Seeking 

 

Cheering you on and sending lots of love and healing,

 

Uni

Day 17 Update:

 

It has been 17 days since I jumped.

 

To quote one of my favorite rock bands... "rejoice... rejoice... we have no choice... but to carry on..."

 

That's a great song by the way. That's the kind of music that speaks to us to heal.

 

Really happy for you !

 

Day 17 Update:

 

It has been 17 days since I jumped.

 

This last week, my tinnitus and floaty feelings in my head have been less than the first week post jump. I had one day this week with bad tinnitus, but since then every day has been milder. My sleep continues to be as it has been, although I do think I am getting 2-3hrs at times even if I dont really feel like it at the time. I get up every morning and try to remember what happened in the night and its not always so clear. Some days it's just broken all night, others I have longer stretches where I cannot recall.

 

I think the biggest improvement is that I have not been as depressed or anxious. I've been pretty good in those areas as of late.

 

I've been getting outside a lot more - I took my bike for a nice ride through a few miles of the local apple orchards in the sunshine yesterday with some nice music on. It was like medicine to my soul.

 

To quote one of my favorite rock bands... "rejoice... rejoice... we have no choice... but to carry on..."

 

Fine quote!  Glad you went for that ride

Really happy to hear that you're doing so well! I'm on day 15 myself. Prayers that healing continues and you keep feeling better and better!

Really happy to hear that you're doing so well! I'm on day 15 myself. Prayers that healing continues and you keep feeling better and better!

 

How are you feeling?  And a big Congratulations to you!! 

Really happy to hear that you're doing so well! I'm on day 15 myself. Prayers that healing continues and you keep feeling better and better!

 

How are you feeling?  And a big Congratulations to you!! 

 

I'm feeling about the same... Small improvements such as diminished severity with the internal shakiness. I'm still struggling with some head pains, face flushing and hair loss. I had a couple of emotional moments over the weekend too. Staying positive though and optimistic! 😊

Congratulations and hope you continue to improve.

Congratulations! Hope and pray you will continue to feel better and better! Glad you are staying positive and optimistic!

 

Blessings!

Pi

First.. thanks to everyone for your encouragement and kind posts. It makes all the difference to have such support in these circumstances - for all of us.

 

24 Days Post Jump:

• For the last week tinnitus has been minimal most of the time. I did have a pretty bad headache one day which coincided with some tinnitus but otherwise it's been at such a low level that I barely notice it.
  
• The 'floating' sensations are just about non-existent.
  
• Sleep is improving. These days I can fall asleep, and I may experience a couple of hours, then a wakeup, then an hour or two more, with dozing until the alarm clock. It's not perfect, but I can get by this way for a while if need be.
  
• I can now watch just about any television or movie that the family wishes. Flashing lights and sound are not really an issue anymore.
  
• Depression and anxiety lifted a couple of weeks ago and at the moment neither are a problem.
  
• I have no problems with ice cream and chocolate, and I've found a gourmet root beer that I like - so sugar must not be a problem for me.
  

In the last 4.5 months, I've stopped:

• Z Drugs (lunesta, ambien)
  
• Benzodiazepines (klonopin, valium)
  
• AD (remeron, only used as needed during my taper)
  
• Antihistamines (hydroxyzine, unisom, benadryl, only used as needed during my taper)
  
• Alcohol
  
• Caffeine
  

Im also nearly done tapering off of nicotine (via vape)! Nicotine is known to disrupt sleep, and sometimes I wonder if it has been intensifying my sleep issues over these last few months, since I've been so extra-sensitive to substances through this journey. I will be glad to add that to the list above.

 

I'm also working on lessening the remaining OTC 'natural' night time aids (alteril, melatonin, tea, cherry juice, magnesium, etc.) used in my daily night time ritual. I should be down to nearly none after the next few weeks.

 

Putting the Training Wheels Back On:

I have been allowing myself to have some decaffeinated coffee lately and have had no issues. I never planned to live my life without coffee forever, and I'm starting to think about switching to decaf daily, and eventually regular coffee once in a while until it's my morning ritual again.

 

I've also had a non-alcoholic beer here and there (<.5%), and have had no issues, which is encouraging. I'll probably try the real thing this fall. I know, I know... some people are dead set on never drinking again, just not me. At some point I hope to be able to drink a beer or a wine once in a while.

 

Mind over Matter:

It is becoming increasingly clear to me that the more I disassociate myself with this situation, the healthier I feel. The further away I am from it - the less I think about it. I think there is really something to it. The more I go to events for my kids, go to work every day, the more I do my work, play my musical instruments, explore new things, take chances, etc. - the more I rebuild those areas of my brain. The more I repair my brain by challenging it, the better I feel.

 

Also, the more I live in the moment, and meditate on "what is" right now, the less I ruminate over the past, and the less I stress about the future. I think that is a key understanding in getting through benzo withdrawal and an important tool against anxiety going forward.

 

First.. thanks to everyone for your encouragement and kind posts. It makes all the difference to have such support in these circumstances - for all of us.

 

24 Days Post Jump:

• For the last week tinnitus has been minimal most of the time. I did have a pretty bad headache one day which coincided with some tinnitus but otherwise it's been at such a low level that I barely notice it.
  
• The 'floating' sensations are just about non-existent.
  
• Sleep is improving. These days I can fall asleep, and I may experience a couple of hours, then a wakeup, then an hour or two more, with dozing until the alarm clock. It's not perfect, but I can get by this way for a while if need be.
  
• I can now watch just about any television or movie that the family wishes. Flashing lights and sound are not really an issue anymore.
  
• Depression and anxiety lifted a couple of weeks ago and at the moment neither are a problem.
  
• I have no problems with ice cream and chocolate, and I've found a gourmet root beer that I like - so sugar must not be a problem for me.
  

In the last 4.5 months, I've stopped:

• Z Drugs (lunesta, ambien)
  
• Benzodiazepines (klonopin, valium)
  
• AD (remeron, only used as needed during my taper)
  
• Antihistamines (hydroxyzine, unisom, benadryl, only used as needed during my taper)
  
• Alcohol
  
• Caffeine
  

Im also nearly done tapering off of nicotine (via vape)! Nicotine is known to disrupt sleep, and sometimes I wonder if it has been intensifying my sleep issues over these last few months, since I've been so extra-sensitive to substances through this journey. I will be glad to add that to the list above.

 

I'm also working on lessening the remaining OTC 'natural' night time aids (alteril, melatonin, tea, cherry juice, magnesium, etc.) used in my daily night time ritual. I should be down to nearly none after the next few weeks.

 

Putting the Training Wheels Back On:

I have been allowing myself to have some decaffeinated coffee lately and have had no issues. I never planned to live my life without coffee forever, and I'm starting to think about switching to decaf daily, and eventually regular coffee once in a while until it's my morning ritual again.

 

I've also had a non-alcoholic beer here and there (<.5%), and have had no issues, which is encouraging. I'll probably try the real thing this fall. I know, I know... some people are dead set on never drinking again, just not me. At some point I hope to be able to drink a beer or a wine once in a while.

 

Mind over Matter:

It is becoming increasingly clear to me that the more I disassociate myself with this situation, the healthier I feel. The further away I am from it - the less I think about it. I think there is really something to it. The more I go to events for my kids, go to work every day, the more I do my work, play my musical instruments, explore new things, take chances, etc. - the more I rebuild those areas of my brain. The more I repair my brain by challenging it, the better I feel.

 

Also, the more I live in the moment, and meditate on "what is" right now, the less I ruminate over the past, and the less I stress about the future. I think that is a key understanding in getting through benzo withdrawal and an important tool against anxiety going forward.

 

I'm so happy to hear such amazing progress from you! We are 2 days apart in terms of when we jumped. I 100% agree with you regarding how you approach this. The more attention you pay to this situation, the more it can take over. Continued prayers for each day to get better and better!  I'm especially happy to see that you're sleep has improved. I saw where that was so difficult.

A huge step. Congrats.