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2 years 4 months benzo free. INSOMNIA NIGHTMARE GONE.


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Hi Buddies !

 

I’ve recently came across my « User name » and password on a document and I just thought about the time I was suffering HELL on earth while withdrawing and sleeping so little at night.

 

My story in sum up (Try to be short because when I used to read as much as possible Success story or progress, especially those on Insomnia in the search of some relief or hope. I liked when they were quite short) :

 

I used for approximatively one year Ativan (Temesta in France) at 1 to 1,5mg sometimes more. I tried a first withdrawal that was successful until I had to reinstate the dose because of helping my Dad building the new house. (The worst mistake I made in my entire life after taking benzos in the first place… Taking benzos for the first time is BY FAR the worst mistake) Then I liquid taper the dose for a few months and quit definitively the 27th November in 2014.

 

I suffered a lot the first months and first year being off benzo but it started bettering itself months after months with sometimes some very bad days / weeks in the process.

 

Now 2 and almost a half years after that I’m here sharing with you my experience on withdrawal and Benzo related INSOMNIA.

Once you’re completely off the drug it REALLY get BETTER, even if I  still D’ONT CONSIDER MYSELF 100% healed . I still sometimes have trouble to sleep (especially because of stress and lot of work, and still don’t sleep well when I try so sleep in the same bed than a girl, thing that I try to avoid as much as possible ;) still not « ready for a relationship » because of time consuming activities

I sleep now 7 and half hour on a regular basis and on weekend sleeping 9-10 hours sometimes (in broken pieces but still refreshing sleep), train at the gym and enjoy life (still doesn’t go to vacation often nor have a relationship but I might find somebody that I won’t feel weird saying : « I don’t sleep well when I sleep with somebody »

 

I opened a business in January 2017 that’s called meal alpha (on instagram @ meal_alpha ) and I’m specialized in transforming body (Diet / training / recuperation), losing fat and getting the toned look etc. I have plenty clients and athletes that I coach that I repost on IG and pretty much make incredible transformation while training very little. I currently coach pro soccer player Emmanuel Immorou and I’ve coached Nutritionally through his prep to the world title a former European English Boxing Champion Mohammed Mimoun that is now WORLD CHAMPION :D. This fact can be verified on the « public » instagram of my company.

The benzo journey had taught me some tremendous understanding of human physiology, neurochemistry and even nutrition that I thought I was very educated on before. I often implement my theories of Central Nervous System (CNS) recuperation on my athlete because of my past journey / encounter with benzo.

 

 

 

In conclusion : I hope my success story can motivate some of you as some of the past success stories had motivated me. We are all different in recovery face to this benzo demon, but I firmly believe that we all heal (if not 100%) at least TO THE POINT THAT MAKES LIFE REALLY ENJOYABLE. If some of you have some question on nutrition or training or sleep / recuperation to regain the lost muscle mass/strength or just be in even better shape than before they went through all this ordeal, I would be glad to answer it here in PUBLIC. So that other people can benefit from the answers. WISH YOU ALL THE BEST and FULLBLOWN RECOVERY  :smitten:

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Congratulations, Nolan! I'm happy that you are back in business and doing good things for others.

 

Est-ce que je peux vous demander si vous avez eu de problemes cognitives a cause de benzo? Moi, j'ai trouve que je n'arrive pas a apprendre de choses nouvelles aussi facilement qu'avant; de deficits de la moemoire, etc. J'ai ete tres douee.

 

Did you have any cognitive issues after benzos? I'm having some memory issues and difficulty learning new things. I used to be very sharp.

 

jeanne

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Hi! Congratulations.

 

 

 

 

I have a question.

 

 

Can you stay up late past 2 am? If you stay up late do you feel sick the next day? Can you stay up late and still function?

 

 

If you do not get a good nights sleep how do you feel?

 

 

 

I’m happy you healed and are doing so we’ll :)

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Great news, Nolan, I remember you from Jumping Buddies.  You've been benzo free for THREE and a half years, by the way, not 2.5, lol - much better that it feels shorter to you rather than a lifetime :thumbsup:

 

It's good of you to come back and share your success with everyone.  Congrats again! :smitten:

 

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Congratulations, Nolan! I'm happy that you are back in business and doing good things for others.

 

Est-ce que je peux vous demander si vous avez eu de problemes cognitives a cause de benzo? Moi, j'ai trouve que je n'arrive pas a apprendre de choses nouvelles aussi facilement qu'avant; de deficits de la moemoire, etc. J'ai ete tres douee.

 

Did you have any cognitive issues after benzos? I'm having some memory issues and difficulty learning new things. I used to be very sharp.

 

jeanne

 

Thanks Jeanne ! I had BIG issues after benzos (cognitive wise). My memory was really bad it was essentially the same type of memory loss I had when I had a night without sleep before benzos. Now that I sleep well it all came back. So don't worry.

 

Oh and it's not about the age (I'm 1989, born 11th of may :D:smitten:

 

If I was a betting man, I would bet that your cognitive abilities will (fully) come back once you will be some years (or maybe only months don't know) far from your last dose.

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Hi! Congratulations.

 

 

 

 

I have a question.

 

 

Can you stay up late past 2 am? If you stay up late do you feel sick the next day? Can you stay up late and still function?

 

 

If you do not get a good nights sleep how do you feel?

 

 

 

I’m happy you healed and are doing so we’ll :)

 

Hi !

 

Huuum I often sgo to bed after 2am because I do most of my clients "coaching programm at night since it the only time that is quiet during the day" :D .

I have no trouble sleeping till 9-11am even sometimes more when I can.

 

Having said that ... in the beginning of the withdrawal, I would say the first year or year and a half it was difficult to me to fall asleep past 11pm. Then I would pretty much have a shitty night  ::)

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Great news, Nolan, I remember you from Jumping Buddies.  You've been benzo free for THREE and a half years, by the way, not 2.5, lol - much better that it feels shorter to you rather than a lifetime :thumbsup:

 

It's good of you to come back and share your success with everyone.  Congrats again! :smitten:

 

AHAH 3 and a half year you're right !! Honestly I do not think a lot about the "recovery time". Since I'm pretty much healed. But Yeah it's written in my signature. Only thing I will always remember is 27th of November :D

 

I truly understand Why there is not a lot of people that come back. Once you're "Ok" or healthy than you move on in your life and stuff. 

People I remember Jumping buddies yeah There was a Canadian women I don't recall her name I'm quite bad with name I will search it in my previous post. But I remember 2 ladies/women and one guy were really really cool there

 

I find her : KIDDO1977 and Laserjet :D

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Hi! Congratulations.

 

 

 

 

I have a question.

 

 

Can you stay up late past 2 am? If you stay up late do you feel sick the next day? Can you stay up late and still function?

 

 

If you do not get a good nights sleep how do you feel?

 

 

 

I’m happy you healed and are doing so we’ll :)

 

Hi !

 

Huuum I often sgo to bed after 2am because I do most of my clients "coaching programm at night since it the only time that is quiet during the day" :D .

I have no trouble sleeping till 9-11am even sometimes more when I can.

 

 

 

 

Music to my ears!!! Thank you!

 

 

Good luck on your fitness / eating program!

 

 

Have a blessed life!!!

 

 

:)

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Music to my ears!!! Thank you!

 

 

Good luck on your fitness / eating program!

 

 

Have a blessed life!!!

 

 

:)

 

Ahah music to you ears ! I'm glad it is. Honestly I was almost convinced that my sleep and my life will be fucked forever even one year after my last dose.

However when you take care of you body (eating wise and rest wise) and you do NOT MESS WITH ITS CHEMICAL BALANCE (neurotransmitters scientists  :idiot: , physicians, psychiatrist and doctors those fuckers ...) then you will heal and might feel awesome even before I did. Protracted withdrawal is a reality but I think that with time and just eating healthy and not refined/transformed stuff you will heal eventually and sleep well again !  :thumbsup:

 

Aaah and for my fitness stuff it's not really a programm everything that I do for my clients and athletes (even pro athletes) is custom/tailored made to their needs and goals.

 

My instagram account with my client transformation is @meal_alpha  8) (Yep proud of my job. Feels good to do something I love after being in such low physical and mental states for years)

 

I hope all of you will heal as soon as possible and that newcomers here on benzobuddies will gather the strength for this Big battle in their life and heal completely!

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Oh, one more question, please... the little static noise in the head and head pressure.. did that go away for you? That is a very annoying symptom.

Once again, very happy for you!!! What an inspiration and blessing!

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Nolan I remember you from the jumping buddies as well, so very happy you’ve come back to let everyone know how much you’ve healed. Congrats on your successful business and may the insomnia continue to improve!

 

:smitten:

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Oh, one more question, please... the little static noise in the head and head pressure.. did that go away for you? That is a very annoying symptom.

Once again, very happy for you!!! What an inspiration and blessing!

 

The tinnitus (ringing in my hear) and the head pressure took longer to go completely away then other symptoms for me. Maybe one year ago it completely disappear, but it wasn't that bad at the end like at the beginning of being free from benzo. During taper and in the first 4-8 months after my last dose it was really annoying.

 

I firmly believe that everybody here on Benzobuddies will experience almost complete to complete healing, at least to the point where life is enjoyable and fun again  :smitten: . It just takes time ... (Too much time I know)

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Nolan I remember you from the jumping buddies as well, so very happy you’ve come back to let everyone know how much you’ve healed. Congrats on your successful business and may the insomnia continue to improve!

 

:smitten:

 

Saga Remember you as well we always were in the Kiddoo thread . You were really really kind and of good advice. Thank you so much !!

From the bottom of my heart I wish you even more healing as well  :smitten:

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Congratulations!

 

Thank you! Congratulation to you too for being benzo free and staying it !!

 

I hope your "Am I healed?" will turn into : "Hell yeah, I am healed :D "

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yes, please share with us your nutrition plan to regain muscle mass and strength!

 

Ahah My fitness plan that enabled me to regain muscle mass and strength ? (Which would be pretty much irrelevant for girls :D )

 

Or

 

Do you want me to establish you a personnal fitness/diet programm to slowly but steadily regain muscle mass and strenght ?

 

If so I would be glad to do it publicly here ahah.

 

So usually I ask to my client :

 

- Starting weight

- Height

- (sexe but usually I don't have to ask ahah)

- Fitness goal

- Fitness current level

- Medication ?

- Do you have previous injuries or current one

- Do you sleep well

- Can I use a 4 days/week training split (15-30mins training)

- Do you have any allergies or intolerance to food (usually us benzo former users we do have some, and we are more cautious about some food that might triggers stuff to us. )

- Can you do some walking on an empty stomach

- Do you have access to a gym or do you wanna train at home ( You'll need a yoga "tapis" , some little dumbells (1 to 5 kilos) and some confortable clothing.

- Can you drink Alkaline water ?

- Would you be ok to drink some lemon + water first thing in the morning ?

- What is your job ? (or te be less indiscrete : Would you consider your job as being challenging for you body ? ) I ask this question usually to help me structurate their training and diet toward their "recuperation capabilities"

 

- Do you have condition that might require the attention to a physician or specialist ?

 

This is not medical advice : "The programm I will send you should not be used as a substitute for professional medical advice. Always consult your qualified health professional on any matters regarding your health".

(My best friend, a Lawyer in Luxembourg, want me to always put that after all my advices and programms. Legal stuff, people are "crazy these days" ahah. )

 

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and what you did for sleep recuperation. thank you!

 

For sleep recuperation I'm a BAD BAD example. Other people here have recoverd their sleep MUCH MUCH faster than I did.

 

I would say that walking help me a lot when I could do it and not work. And trying to go to sleep at a fixed hour is helpful as well. But If you can sleep whenever you want without people "annoying you" or shaming you to do so, then you will be able to sleep more than I did and recover much faster  :angel:

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yes, please share with us your nutrition plan to regain muscle mass and strength!

 

Ahah My fitness plan that enabled me to regain muscle mass and strength ? (Which would be pretty much irrelevant for girls :D )

 

Or

 

Do you want me to establish you a personnal fitness/diet programm to slowly but steadily regain muscle mass and strenght ?

 

If so I would be glad to do it publicly here ahah.

 

So usually I ask to my client :

 

- Starting weight -- 105 lbs

- Height 5 ft

- (sexe but usually I don't have to ask ahah)

- Fitness goal -- brisk walking 30 min; but I'm not really very sporty/athletic

- Fitness current level- able to walk 15 min

- Medication ? none

- Do you have previous injuries or current one -- none

- Do you sleep well -- insomnia since benzos (occasional insomnia before klonopin)-- only 4-5 hours broken sleep; this is where I need help the most

- Can I use a 4 days/week training split (15-30mins training) yes

- Do you have any allergies or intolerance to food (usually us benzo former users we do have some, and we are more cautious about some food that might triggers stuff to us. )no

- Can you do some walking on an empty stomach --yes

- Do you have access to a gym or do you wanna train at home ( You'll need a yoga "tapis" , some little dumbells (1 to 5 kilos) and some confortable clothing. --HOME, pls. I have a tapis.

- Can you drink Alkaline water ? I think so.

- Would you be ok to drink some lemon + water first thing in the morning ? yes

- What is your job ? (or te be less indiscrete : Would you consider your job as being challenging for you body ? ) I ask this question usually to help me structurate their training and diet toward their "recuperation capabilities" yes, somewhat. I am now working part time.

 

- Do you have condition that might require the attention to a physician or specialist ? no

 

This is not medical advice : "The programm I will send you should not be used as a substitute for professional medical advice. Always consult your qualified health professional on any matters regarding your health".

(My best friend, a Lawyer in Luxembourg, want me to always put that after all my advices and programms. Legal stuff, people are "crazy these days" ahah. )

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Ahah you're fast Jeanne  8)

 

Alors par ou allons nous commencer :

 

1) As far as sleep is concern

 

If I were you I would at least try a good magnesium source (maybe you've a good one at your local organic shop/store). In my wase it helped me tremendously with my sleep. Walking helped me as well.

 

2) If walking 30 mins is you first goal

 

Than I would try to walk 15mins a day everyday (or 1 or 2 days off during the week), I would do it 1 hour before going to bed because it calmed me down.

Then each week I'll add 2,5mins more (It will take 6 weeks to get to 30 mins). If you do it as a routine your body will understand that and will understand that after that and after taking the magnesium it's time to sleep. Also it will be 6 more weeks away from your last dose. Our CNS slowly heal you might sleep more doing this routine and slowly challenging you body doing that is awesome.

 

3) Then When you'll reach this Goal.

 

I would keep this Goal + add an other one like doing squats / lunges and "deadlift" at home.

1st step : 5 mins workout 4 times a week.

2nd Step 10 mins

3rd step 12,5 mins

4th 15mins

5th : 20 mins

 

You can dot it on a period of 20 weeks.

I guarantee you you can only benefit from that.

 

 

As far as the Diet go :

 

I would need to know what you currently eat in a day. on average and what food

Then I'll propose you a plan that is (on paper caloricaly close, but not the same micros and macros). Then we would SLOWLY add calories each week so that you body puts on lean body mass. It's ability to do so will improve while sleeping more and more.  ;)

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Also something that I want to share with you (Jeanne) : My mistake of wanting to do stuff too fast / too quick and don't let my body heal and accustum to the new load of "work" / activity/ stimulus.

 

In retrospect I think I would have heal quicker respecting him a little bit more. That's why I "advise" you to do it slowly but steadily.

 

Writing your progress down and seeing that your sleep pattern improves every week / months and that you reach your goals one after the other and see results in you health / body / mind and way you feel is really empowering especially in those moments ( in recovery)

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Merci, Nolan!

 

The exercise program looks great! I'm not sure I can walk before bed time. I'm afraid it might make me more alert. We'll see... I have magnesium but not sure if it's the best kind.

 

I would personal message my diet to you but perhaps others will benefit from your advice, so here it is...

 

I usually eat the following but still have lost 8lbs in the last 2 months:

bfast:

• 1 toast

• scrambled eggs 1/2 cup OR hard-boiled eggs; sometimes with bacon

• fruit (banana or strawberries or cantaloupe 1/2 cup)

would oatmeal be good? cereals?

 

snack- peanut butter and jelly sandwich (1/2) OR bread and cheese/butter

 

lunch:

• 1 cup rice or potatoes

• meat (pork, chicken, or beef) medium size

• vegetables 1/2 cup

• fruit 1/2 cup (melon, pineapple, canned fruit)

 

snack- 1/4 cup peanuts or a little pastry (roll, a little piece of donut, banana bread)

 

supper:

• 1/2 bowl of soup

• turkey/ham sandwich; OR  slice of quiche; OR casserole (chicken and rice); OR 1 ½  cup spaghetti or other pasta

• 1/2 cup fruit (grapes/ apple/ banana)

 

I drink 2% milk 3x a day, 1L of water and  ½ glass of orange juice

 

Qu'est-ce que tu penses? (What do you think?)

 

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Congratulations!

 

Thank you! Congratulation to you too for being benzo free and staying it !!

 

I hope your "Am I healed?" will turn into : "Hell yeah, I am healed :D "

 

Thank you :)

 

last week I had another litle wave. Now Im perfect again.

 

Well, time will give me the 100% stable state, thats what I hope

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Merci, Nolan!

De rien Jeanne

 

The exercise program looks great! I'm not sure I can walk before bed time. I'm afraid it might make me more alert. We'll see... I have magnesium but not sure if it's the best kind.

It might you make you more alert. It depends I guess. In my case it acted like a lil "benzo infusion" ahah but the natural stuff. ^^

 

I would personal message my diet to you but perhaps others will benefit from your advice, so here it is...

 

 

I usually eat the following but still have lost 8lbs in the last 2 months:

bfast:

First thing in the morning : 1 cup of water + half a  fresh lemon juice.

 

• 1 toast

• scrambled eggs 1/2 cup OR hard-boiled eggs; sometimes with bacon

• fruit (banana or strawberries or cantaloupe 1/2 cup)

would oatmeal be good? cereals?

 

I would replace the toast by "Spelt flakes" 30-40g (weight uncooked) you can cook it in water.

 

 

snack- peanut butter and jelly sandwich (1/2) OR bread and cheese/butter

I would replace by :

( - 1 scoop of pea protein powder E-origine or pulsin. Everything inside it is quote natural. No atificial flavouring, weird artificial seeterner etc etc )

+ 1 large portion of fruit (100g)

 

lunch:

• 1 cup rice or potatoes

• meat (pork, chicken, or beef) medium size (120-150g)

(Green) vegetables 1/2 cup

• fruit 1/2 cup (melon, pineapple, canned fruit)

 

snack- 1/4 cup peanuts or a little pastry (roll, a little piece of donut, banana bread)

I would replace by : 100-200g of "yaout au soja" + 50g of muesli

 

supper:

• 1/2 bowl of soup

• turkey/ham sandwich; OR  slice of quiche; OR casserole (chicken and rice); OR 1 ½  cup spaghetti or other pasta

• 1/2 cup fruit (grapes/ apple/ banana)

 

1L of water and  ½ glass of orange juice

Alkaline water if possible would be a must

 

I would skip de milk and dairy completely (Dairy is almost toxic to human especially the way it's processed and produced nowadays)

 

Qu'est-ce que tu penses? (What do you think?)

 

J'en pense que c'est pas mal comme programme, mais que restructuré comme je l'ai fait c'est encore mieux et plus healthy.  :smitten:

 

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