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is anxiety what causes me to burst into tears daily??


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every day i have what i call an "episode" where something a bit stressful will happen, i get this feeling of being totally overwhelmed by it, and then i burst into tears and cry like an 8 year old.  does anyone else experience this?  i feel like an idiot.  it's obvious to me that my emotional reactions are way over the top, but i don't seem to have the ability to calm myself. 

 

i'm almost at 2 months benzo free.  has anyone else experienced this and, if so, how long did it last?  i'm currently looking for work and i don't think crying during an interview is going to go over well. 

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I cry every single day and have for at least a year...

 

I'm at about 3 1/2 months off benzos...

 

I've heard people say they cry all day long every day...

 

I'm more like you with episodes though it may happen more than once a day.

 

For me it's mourning the loss of so much time I think...time and just the loss of any sense of normality...

 

but I think it's also just a benzo withdrawal symptom too.

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Hi L,

 

For years you've had your emotions chemically suppressed. Now you are extra sensitive from the absence of that chemical! Give it it some time, and you will soon return to your pre benzo emotional state.

 

I don't think you will cry during your job interviews.  :laugh:

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hi L123,

I can relate to this...I was driving behind a car last week that rear-ended the car in front of it, when that driver braked suddenly for a pedestrian, no one was hurt, minor accident...well, as i drove away I was overwhelmed with emotion and began to cry.  But many things bring me to tears...usually, the crying is a great release and if i'm feeling a lot of physical anxiety, it will at least partially relieve it.  I can relate to what Gianna wrote about mourning the loss of time...I feel like I lost myself, I keep thinking back to a year ago, two years ago, and it does make me sad to reflect on how much i've lost.  Hard to view it as something positive, coming back to ourselves, which we're essentially doing, i suppose.  It is really sad that we're all having to experience this and have lived our lives sedated for so long..but i think crying, even if it does seem excessive, is necessary right now :'(  I'm not viewing it as a sign that something is wrong

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It is really sad that we're all having to experience this and have lived our lives sedated for so long..but i think crying, even if it does seem excessive, is necessary right now :'(   I'm not viewing it as a sign that something is wrong

 

here here! when I first started crying I was thrilled! I COULDN'T cry for so many years because I was numbed out. I have catching up to do.

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I echo gianna's sentiments about crying! I was relieved as my taper got lower that I was starting to feel emotions that I hadn't felt for some time. I too have had crying spells like that from time to time... Mostly under heavy stress, I tend to have some anger spells which I dislike far more than the crying spells!

I also agree with eljay's observation. Our emotions were blunted by the chemical effects of the drug and it's going to take some time for them to regain their balance...

Above all, L123, don't feel bad about the crying! Just let it happen! The more acceptance you give yourself, the quicker these things will pass and balance out!

Hope this helps you! :)

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the anger you speak of is affectionately (not) referred to as "benzo rage"

 

and it too is normal...and, I agree, much worse than crying.

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i hate the benzo rage!!!  >:(  at least now when it happens, i realize it for what it is and know that it will pass...but when i was still "using", and increasing my dose last fall, i didn't even have the self awareness to realize "it's not normal to be smashing plates on the floor"..i was in the process of packing up my apartment and moving, and I broke/destroyed a bunch of stuff.  scary now, looking back, how out of touch with myself i was that i did not know there was a serious problem at hand.  never have to repeat that, thank God  :yippee:
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ok...well, this is good to know.  i've experienced the 'benzo rage', too, but did not attribute it to the w/d.  that makes me feel better as i thought i was just a horribly impatient, mean person when i get that way.  what i've noticed about the benzo rage it that there are a series of events that occur before it....outside stressor/trigger, i feel myself starting to get overwhelmed, i'm not able to calm/self-soothe myself as i could when on benzos and even prior to benzo use, the anxiety rises and i either a)cry like a baby or b)scream at the person (it is usually someone i'm close w/...family or best friend).  the reason i rage like this (i scream until my throat hurts) isn't really out of anger, it's out of frustration that the person did something to upset my already fragile CNS and then i realize it will take hours to calm back down again due to the CNS inability to regulate back to a normal state in a normal amount of time. 

 

and it is soooo frustrating to try to explain to family/friend that i really really need them to not upset me because i already know it is going to take such a long time for me to calm myself back down.  fortunately, i've noticed my GABA must be coming back because i do calm down quicker now and i don't get AS upset about the little things as before.

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'Benzo Rage' is a good word for this feeling! There was a member some time ago who posted a thread on this topic.

L123, and jestan, I'm right up there with you on this symptom! I've had to apologize quite a few times to my wife and kids when my grumpiness and or shouting gets the best of me! I have 2 children, and being children, they can be prone to fighting, etc... That's when my ticker really goes off! They've sometimes said to me, "Dad, why are you acting so mean today?!" Fortunatley, being kids, they're also very forgiving. So is my wife, bless her heart! :smitten::tickedoff:

 

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yes, pang, kids are so wonderfully forgiving.  awl.

 

and i feel for the spouses/significant others who are having to deal with us right now.  i know it's not our fault and that's not to make anyone feel guilty...but i know this has to be hard on them, as well. 

 

i read something about "compassion fatigue" re: benzo w/d and thought, 'uh oh, i hope my family/friend doesn't get this with me'...it's not like we're in w/d for just a week or so...this lasts a LONG time.  and i feel like they're thinking, oh, just get over it already.  so i try not to talk about it too much and suffer in silence!

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